The Love Game

CH.4 Lost

Chapter 4 Lost

Beep, Beep ,Beep…

I suddenly hear the alarm go off but it sounds funny. It also smells weird in my room. My body feels heavy and I am trying to open my eyes. Its blurry and bright at first than I feel it. All the pain shooting all over my body. I burst my eyes open to see that I am in a hospital room.

“What…What is going on?” I was barely able to say before seeing Cat and Conner in the corner of the room Both looking grim.

“Hey Rach… you’re awake. So you feel any pain? Would you like some water?” She bent over to reach for the nurse button on the side of the hospital bed. I may not have been asleep long because Cat and Conner where both dressed in their party attire. Cat reached over to my side table where there’s was a jug of water and a glass waiting for me.

After taking the glass and drinking a few sips I ask. “What Happened?” Cat and Conner both looked at each other as if telepathically communicating if they should tell me or not.

“Sweetie…UM… you were in a car accident.” She began to say until I interrupted her. “Where is Jonny?” They both looked at each other again Cat starting to well up with tears.

“Jonny got the worst of the crash….” She sighed before she continued. “He didn’t make it.” The second that those words spilled out of her mouth she started tearing up. I stayed still for a minute with a blank Face. I could feel my face turn pale, and my breath sucked out of me. My Chest was feeling heavy and my breathing came back only to start to become more frantic. I stared straight into the blank space between me and what was in front of me. All the body aches I was feeling before felt nothing to this. Was I dying?

“Rachel…” Conner called softly. I looked over at him and felt the pools of tears forming in my eyes making my vision of the two of them blurry. Than it all came pouring out. I brought my hands up to my face and sobbed. I instantly remembered the moments before the accident looking at my handsome loving husband and thinking how blissfully happy I was at that very moment. Now I won’t be able to sleep next to him. I won’t cuddle and feel his touch, the warmth and secure feeling of his embrace. Now it was nothing but coldness and darkness.

Cat reached out her hand and started to message small circles on my back. No one could speak right now, there was only silence. They all felt each other’s pain. Cat and Conner both felt Rachels pain. “You know we will always be here for you. You have us to go through this transition. We will not leave you.” Cat said to Rachel while trying to be strong for her. Rachel looked up at them still streaming with tears and nodded at them. They were taken out of their moment when the nurse walked in.

“Hello Rahcel. I’m Nurse Joy. I am glade to see you awake. I am very sorry for your loose.” She said in the warmest way a 40 year old woman could say. Those words ‘sorry for your loose’ felt like a dagger to my heart. Nurse Joy injected something into my IV line than told me to rest, when I wake back up I will be able to go home. I felt my eyelid droop and laid back down still feeling the tears slowly falling down my cheeks. I started to see darkness and welcomed it. Maybe this was all just a nightmare and Ill open my eyes back up to see his face.

I woke up in my bed, only this was my old bed that I shared with Jonny when we first moved in together. I heard the waves of the ocean crash along the cliffs. I get out of bed only wearing my t shirt and pajama shorts and stride out the bedroom door through the duplex we once rented. I walked barefoot four houses down the street before coming to the cliffside. I see a figure standing on the edge of the cliff. It was Jonny in all white. His cloths where loose and flowing in the wind. His hair was glistening as he faced the ocean. He turned around to face me as I got closer.

“Rachel…” his face lite up.

“Jonny, what are you doing out here?” confusion evident in my tone.

“Enjoying the view. I remember proposing to you here on this very spot on our two year dating anniversary. I knew seeing the ocean gave you a sense of infinite possibilities.” He was gleaming that million-dollar smile.

“I knew you would propose to me that day. But why are we back here?” I was still confused. Did we go back in time?

“Sweetheart, I wanted to make sure you know that I love you. I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you and I will continue to love you in the afterlife. But you have to stay strong for the kids. You have to move on. Keep fighting the good fight and never forget to have a happy thought. This game of life has infinite possibilities. You know how to play the game. You are strong, caring, devoted, intelligent, and loving. Your heart is so big that you are capable of loving more, don’t be afraid to open your heart.” He cupped his hands around my face. I looked deep into his eyes as a lone tear slide down my face.

“This is the end isn’t it?” He nodded.

“For our chapter yes. But you still have a full life to live. And I want you to be happy.”

“I love you Jonny, I am going to miss you so dam much.” Jonny’s face saddened as he leaned in to kissed Rachel softly. He pulled back and rested his forehead to hers.

“I am going to miss you too.” He leaned back down to kiss her. Rachel closed her eyes hoping to deepen the kiss…

Rachel opened her eyes to feel nobody close to her. Her lips were cold. She was still in the hospital bed and the sun was blaring in between the blinds of the window. She looked around and saw Conner on the sofa sleeping in the fetal position with the same clothes from the party.

“Conner…” I yelled whispered her throat feeling a little dry. Conner shot up and raced towards Rachels side.

“Hey… good morning. Do you need anything. Water? I’ll buzz the Nurse.” Conner was way to quick to cater to her. Suddenly nurse Joy walked in.

“Good Morning Rachel. How are you feeling?”

“Um… I guess that a tough question to answer.”

“O dear… I’m sorry. Let me rephrase. How is your physical pain level? Are you hungry?”

She proceeded to take my vitals and inform us that the Doctor will stop by some and if everything goes well I should be discharges by the end of the day. An hour later and some small talk. Conner informed me that Cat too my kids to her house for a sleep over. The kids know that we both where in an accident but the details were very vague. He then mentioned that I had some paperwork to sign for Jonny so the process for a burial can begin. Conner took out his phone for me to borrow as I went and made a few calls to get everything done for Jonny. I called our family lawyer and informed him of Jonny’s passing. I knew that Jonny had a will and life insurance ready, knowing him he already knew which cemetery he was going to be buried in. Luckily the lawyer told me he was going to make all the preparations and just send me the timeline and locations for the funeral service and burial. Hanging up the call with the lawyer was gut wrenching and made me softly sob at the reality of it. I then called Ian, Jonny’s best friends since childhood, and told him the news and to share with the others. I really needed his help to reach out to his other friends he left in San Diego. I was so Lucky that Ian moved up here with us. He made boys outing so much more fun. Jonny loved having that small connection to his childhood. Then I called Beatrice finally for help contacting all my friends and spreading the news. I really only wanted to talk with so many people. I knew that the more people I spoke to today the more my heart shatter all over again. And I still had to tell my kids. O God what will I say!!!

The Doctor came in and checked me. Form what I was told I only sustained minor bumps, bruises and scratches all over my body.

“You should consider yourself lucky that you walked away with minor injuries. I’ll have your discharge papers prepared for you. I only ask that you take as much rest as you ca for the next few weeks.”

“Thank you Doctor” That’s all I said. I wasn’t lucky at all, I just lost the love of my life. All I could do was just give a blank stair and nod.

Conner was by my side the entire time looking over everything I did. He made sure I understood the paperwork and carried my stuff to his car and drove me back home. We reached my drive way and I froze. I knew the kids were back home with Cat and Leah. But I just couldn’t find the strength to bring myself out of the car.

“What am I going to tell them?” I whispered to Conner looking down at my hands that here placed on my lap.

“I don’t know Rach….. I wish I can tell you something but this is hard. All you can do is just love then, hug them, comfort them. Be the mom that they need you to be.” Conner had this sad hopeless expression. Rachel knew he was trying his hardest to find a gentler way of breaking the news. But in reality, there is not gentle way to put it.

“Do you mind staying the night. I can’t be alone with the kids like this.”

“Of course, Cat and I definitely will. We will try to be a good distraction if that make you feel better?” He was content to know that Rachel really did need the extra support. At least for the first few nights. Las thing Rachel wanted was for her kids to catch her melting down. Rachel needed to be strong.

Rachel Took a deep breath and walked through the front door to her house. She looked in the living room and found all four kids watching a Disney movie.

“Ok I can do this…” I soft said to myself