Sacrifice

Joana's POV 2

‘Joana…. Joana’

I heard someone call my name, but I was just too deep to answer the call. Whoosh!!, the feeling of being soaked in ice was enough to get my ass up from that bed.

The room was all lit and I could see the face of the only person I detest most right now, Claire. It then dawned on me, it was all a dream. I wanted to ask the man further questions but the goat in front of me chose the worst time to wake me up.

“Are you okay?” she asked with worry laced on her face. “You kept on moving, and you were sweating badly”.

I couldn’t blame her as I looked at her, she was just worried about me.

“Should I tell her?” I thought to myself.

“Joana, you are making me scared now, what’s wrong?”

The least that I could do was to make sure that I was sure of who exactly visited me in my dream, because I couldn’t sound dumb narrating something that could not be true and, moreover, the story looked stupid to me. Why would he choose to help me in my dream and not in reality?

“It was nothing”

“You sure?”

“Yeah”

The bed was actually soaked with my sweat because the evidence was on my body and on my side of the bed, a mental reminder to always have the fan on while I sleep. I made my way out of bed to do my morning routine. I had work to do.

Making it to the café without being hit by a car or without being in the mortuary is a miracle, because I can’t recall the number of times that vehicles honked inside my ears, they were ready to blast it off. I just couldn’t get it off my mind, it kept on coming back even when I tried to distract myself with music. I just couldn’t forget. Today was definitely not my day.

I have never seen my father for the past 9 years and this is the first time that he had the audacity to enter my dream after I tried my best to block him off. What does he want from me? I spent 9 whole years of my life hiding from this man, and I was successful. He probably can't find me now. It won’t be possible.

I brushed off the thought and decided to soak myself in work. I ran all the shift to prevent my mind from thinking about this man. I thought I was successful, at least I was for that moment….

Sitting behind the counter trying to regain the already lost strength. The doorbell rang, meaning that another customer had come in. Jake can attend to him, but I still need to rest.

“Excuse me”

That voice. My heart stopped beating for a second the moment that I heard that voice. My head was spinning, and I was at the point of fainting. The hairs on my skin stood up straight, and it seemed like I was in a horror movie all of a sudden. One that I didn’t choose to enter, I was forced.

I was weak down to my knees like I was poured hot water, my whole body was shaking. It can’t be him …. It can’t be him….it will never be him.

“How may I help you please?” I heard Jake ask the customer, whose identity was still unknown to me.

“Just a cup of water”

The feeling was down to my guts this time around. I had to be certain of who exactly this man was, because he was beginning to give me chills at this point in time. I needed to be sure that it was not him. I dragged my weak and shaky legs to stand up from my seat and peer over the counter. Maybe I could see his face without him having to notice me. I was wrong.

There he was, sitting on the table that faced the counter directly, with a stinky smile gracing his face and his overly cooked brown teeth. It was……. Him. His eyes never lost their evil. The man that I thought that I had escaped from my whole life was sitting in front of me and smiling at me like he finally caught a prey.

His smile was enough to prove to me that he was aware that I was there. He was playing a very mischievous game this time and I don’t think that I am ready for it because I don’t even know what he knows about me or how he was able to find my location. Could it be that he also found my mom?

The thought of it alone was able to make me cry, but I couldn’t. I had learned how to never cry in front of people while growing up, and I was definitely not going to do it here, not in front of this monster.

Concentration was definitely lost at this point in time. Just when I thought that my life was getting back on track, just when it felt like I could pretend that all was well. He decided to show up. I had sworn that the next time I laid my eyes on this man, I was going to kill him, but now I don’t even think I can stand his gaze or presence.

I felt like crawling under the table and wailing my eyes out. I just want to hide because at this point I think that I am losing it right now. His eyes never left me, they were still there looking at me. My whole body was on fire, the memories that I tried so hard to seal were flooding back in, every bit of the torture that I tried my best not to remember was right before me. The wound was fresh once again.

I hated this version of me, it made me weak. ‘Not like I was ever strong’. A hot liquid streamed down my face as the memories kept flooding. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to open my eyes and find out that it was a nightmare, but it wasn’t. It was real and it was live.

I could see the satisfaction on his face when he saw me cry. He knew that he still had that effect on me and I hated myself for that. My whole world is crumbling right in front of me and I can’t even fight for myself. I will watch myself being shattered and broken once again. I don’t even know what my fate is this time around, because the man that I saw sitting across that table definitely had terrible plans for me.

My life sucks.