Lost

Truth

                    “Well… Deacon wasn’t really as good of a guy as he acted. He was going to take me to be sacrificed by ‘the Elders’ apparently. So I ran. And I ended up here.”

                    “He was going to take you to what?” Asher’s face was filled with a hatred so deep if Deacon was here now, I think he’d kill him.

                    “It doesn’t matter, he’s long gone and I’m here. Let’s just forget it.” The pain was evident in my voice, but not the reason for it. I hate that it hurts, being betrayed by him. I hate that I was really starting to like him and I hate that part of me still does. I just want to forget about him.

                    “I’m sorry,” Asher’s anger dissipates and in its place comes sympathy. “do you want to go see the town now?”

                    “Sure, I’d love that.”

                    Getting up from the table, I follow Asher to the kitchen, plates in hand and go to wash my dishes when he stops me and sets my dishes in the sink.

                    “Don’t worry about it, at the end of the night the dirty dishes go in the dishwasher. Do you need to grab anything or are you ready to go?”

                    “Oh, okay. I’m ready.” Everything is so different here. It’s nice, though. It’ll take some getting used to, but I like it.

                    Asher takes me out the back door in the kitchen and we start our tour of the town. The sun just set, bringing out the sparkling stars and the shining full moon. The chill of the wind feels so good against the heat, it’s a lot cooler than it was earlier but the last couple of years it seems spring and fall have retired so after winter it’s a back and forth between sweltering hot, the perfect temperature, and freezing cold until it’s only sweltering hot.

                    Spring and fall were always my favorite seasons, so I guess it’s fitting if everything else I love is going to die they might as well too. I think bitterly.

                    “You okay, Bailey?” Asher looks at me with a mixture of concern and confusion.

                    “Yeah, why?” I ask, confused by his question and tone.

                    “You just ignored everything I said.”

                    Heat rushes to my cheeks, embarrassed that I zoned out and ignored him, I look down hoping the dim lighting will hide the redness spreading across my cheeks and ears.

                    “I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose. My thoughts have been consuming me lately.” I say sheepishly.

                    “It’s alright, you’ve been through a lot it’s understandable. If you ever wanna talk I’m here, though.” He offers, patting the top of my head like I’m a cat.

                    Swatting his hand off my head, he laughs which causes me to laugh, next thing I know we’re both laughing and I have no idea why. But it feels good, so I don’t mind.

                    “Ya know you used to do that when we were young, too.” He mentions with a smirk.

                    “Really? Were we friends when we were kids?” I ask looking up at him. “I don’t remember much honestly, just bits and pieces.”

                    When I told him I didn’t remember, his eyes filled with hurt, it wasn’t for me though this time, it was his own pain. I wanted to ask why, but he didn’t say which meant he didn’t want to, so I let it go. He just continued like it was never there.

                    “Yeah, we were pretty good friends. I met you when you were just a baby, I was five I think – maybe six, but every time we’d visit your parents or yours would visit mine, I’d play with you and help take care of you,” he looks at me with a smile, lightly chuckling. “when you got older, we’d play outside together all day. I taught you to swim one summer so you could swim with me. But the summer before… ya know, we couldn’t visit each other because there was a lot of stuff going on and our dads had to meet with the council along with the other alphas. The last time I saw you, you were seven and we played hide and seek and swam and I read you your favorite story to put you to sleep because you didn’t want to fall asleep without me.”

                    “I wish I remembered all of that,” Asher puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly, I can tell it’s comforting him too. “But at least now we can make new memories. You and your dad are the closest thing to family I have left.”

                    After that conversation, we kept walking and just talked about the town, both afraid to get into anymore heavy emotions. He showed me the town hall, where people live, the different stores and restaurants, the post office. After we walked all around the town, he asked me if I wanted to meet some people but I wasn’t ready yet. Instead he took me to his favorite spot where he goes to get away from everything and just think.

                    Walking back to his house, he took me to the back and we went through some of the woods until we reach a small lake. Walking to the right, the ground elevates creating a small cliff where he sat down, patting the ground next to him.

                    “So tell me what you’re thinking about.” He breaks the silence after sitting and just staring out at the water and stars for a while.

                    “Everything, really. It’s all so overwhelming sometimes. Between everything that happened when I was growing up, then what happened when I was finally free… and now, being here. I’ve been trying to get here for months, but I’ve wanted to come here for years. Now that I’m here, I don’t know what I want to do next. Who I am. Who I was. I’ve been slowly finding things I like and learning things I should’ve known but a lot of things are still so new to me.

                    Living with the humans I learned normal things that anyone would know if they weren’t stuck in a psychopath’s house in the middle of the woods for years, but as far as the shifter world goes mostly everything is new to me.They didn’t care about teaching me anything, I overheard things sometimes but there’s so much I don’t know,” as I pause to take a breath, I realize I’ve been rambling and feel slightly embarrassed.

                    I don’t usually talk about how I feel or what I’m thinking. When I finally let it out, I couldn’t stop. “I just want to find who I am and feel like I belong in this world.”

                    “You’ll always belong here, and I have no doubt you’ll find who you truly are. You’re so strong, Bailey. You’d have to be to get through everything you have. Don’t sell yourself short, you’ll figure everything out over time.” He pats my head again, making me chuckle.

                     “Thanks, Asher.” I look over to him with a smile, reassuring him that I’m okay.

                    “Eh, call me Ash, that’s what you always called me when we were younger.” He smiles back.

                    After sitting there for a while longer in companionable silence, we decide to go back to the house when it starts getting late.

                    Saying goodnight, we each go to our rooms. Taking my shorts and shoes off, I slide into bed in my tank top and underwear, the soft sheets feel so nice against my skin. Closing my eyes, I count in my head as high as I can until I fall asleep to keep my mind from wandering and keeping me awake.

                                        Walking through the woods, I can see the sun setting through the trees.                            The sky is so beautiful, filled with purples and pinks, oranges and blues, I could never get tired of                                                                                         watching it.

When I get past the trees, there’s a blanket laid across the soft grass and a man facing the setting sun. As I walk up to him I graze his shoulder with my fingertips in a loving way and sit beside him, leaning in to his chest. When he turns to face me, I realize it’s Ash. We lay cuddled together, watching the sunset. He keeps rubbing my belly in a loving way, occasionally leaning in to whisper something to me and kiss my neck, but I can’t hear what he’s saying. I can feel myself laugh and reply, but I don’t know what I’m                                                                                     saying either.

               All of a sudden, Deacon slowly walks up looking at us sheepishly. Ash seems slightly annoyed, but not nearly as angry to see him as I thought he’d be. Then he pats the ground next to me, inviting him         to lay on the blanket with us. Deacon kisses me deeply and passionately while Ash holds me from                                                                         behind and kisses my neck.

Everything fades away, until all that’s left is white. Just a white void that envelops me, for as far as I can see, it’s all white. There’s no sound, nothing. Just as I finish looking all around and trying to walk, hoping                                                             something changes, it fades away.

                                        Instantly I’m in a town that looks like it’s been abandoned for many years.                  Looking around I see Asher, Deacon, and two other men I don’t know but have seen before in these dreams. We’re all just carefully searching this area, before I even have a chance to think about why we’re     searching an abandoned town, shifters circle us, some as wolves and others as humans. In seconds,                                                                         they all attack at once.

        Two wolves pounce on Asher before he gets a chance to shift, biting him deep in his arm and leg.                                                     I feel myself scream his name, and this time I hear it, too.

                    My eyes fly open, as the sound of me screaming Asher’s name fades from my ears, he bursts through my bedroom door in a panic.

                    “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he quickly asks, looking around my room on his way over to me.

                    “Y-yeah, I’m fine. Why are you here?”

                    “You… screamed my name?”

                    “Oh... Sorry, I had a nightmare.” I tell him, sheepishly.

                    “It’s alright, I’m just glad you’re safe. If you need anything, I’m just across the all.” He offers with a smile, walking back to his room.

                    What the actual f**k was that? First I dream of sexy, lovey time with Ash and Deacon, then I dream that Ash gets attacked? What is wrong with me? Get your s**t together, Bailey. Men are nothing but trouble, just keep your distance. Friends only, if that. From now on everyone needs to earn my trust. As much as I’d love to give them all my trust, I have to be smarter. They may be the only ‘family’ I have left, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t deceive me if they felt they needed to. I refuse to be betrayed a third time. Be friendly but keep your guard up.

                    After my thoughts settle and I finish scolding myself, I roll over and try to go back to sleep. Staring at the ceiling for hours, counting to eight thousand, focusing on my breathing, when nothing works and sleep won’t come, I decide to take a shower.

                    The steaming hot water rains down on my body, relaxing my muscles and my mind. With my hands on either side of the wall, I lean forward and rest my head against the wall under the showerhead, enjoying the feel of my skin just slightly burning from the heat. I only get out when the hot water runs cold.

                    Making sure my door is locked, I lay on my bed and let the air dry my body, hoping to fall asleep before I’m dry. When that doesn’t happen, I get up and slide on my panties and black cargo skinny jeans, a tank top, and my boots. Letting my wavy, dark brown hair flow over my shoulders instead of up in a bun, I grab my jacket in case I get chilly and go for a walk before the sun comes up.

                    Walking back to the small cliff above the lake from earlier, I lay on the ground, hanging my legs over the edge, staring at the stars. For hours I try to remember every detail about my parents as I can while watching the clouds move and the stars shine until eventually the sun starts slowly rising into the sky.

-------

                    Over the next month and a half this becomes a ritual, every time I wake up from a dream and can’t fall back to sleep, it definitely helps get my mind off things. Even on the days it’s really hard to not think about certain things, I focus on nature and name everything I possibly can to keep my thoughts where I want them.

                    Footsteps stir me out of my thoughts, turning my head I see Ash walking up. He sits down next to me with a smile, and as much as I hate it sometimes, his smile is contagious and I smile back.

                    “What do you always think about when you’re out here?”

                    “Hmm. Well, it’s usually what I’m trying not to think about that brings me out here. All the nature helps calm me, I focus on naming everything around me, naming how it feels to touch it or how the sun warms my skin. Anything to just focus on what’s here and now.”

                    “Are you excited for your birthday? It’s in a week, right?”

                    “Yeah, but I’m also nervous… and sad. There’s always that feeling that my parents should be here, I don’t think it’ll ever go away.”

                    “No, it won’t. Hopefully it’ll get easier to deal with though, I think when you figure out what you want out of life and you’re truly happy with your life, you’ll have more of a peace about it, knowing your parents would be proud and happy that you’re happy. Does that make sense?”

                    “Yeah, it does. Thanks,” standing up, I turn and look down to him. “wanna go for a swim while we’re here?”

                    Shrugging his shoulders, he stands up and takes his shirt off as I take my boots off. I slide my shorts off while he takes off his shoes, and then we dive off the cliff together. Over this last month and a half Ash and I have gotten a little closer, but every time I have one of those dreams I’m reminded how I need to make sure we don’t get too close.

                    While we swim, he tells me what it’s like to be an alpha of a pack. I knew it was a huge responsibility, but I never realized all of what went into it. Then again, when I was at Dorian’s he was a s**t alpha and didn’t actually care about his pack, he just cares about being the leader of the pack. Ash actually knows everyone in his pack and talks with them and cares about them, he does so much for them, it’s heartwarming.

                                                                                ASHER

                    I never thought I’d enjoy talking about what it’s like being an alpha so much, it’s only with her though. The way she looks at me and listens like it’s the most interesting thing she’s heard, the way she gives her opinions about what I could do better or what she thinks I’m doing great, she’s so smart and even though she’s been through hell, she’s so considerate of other people and genuinely want the best for them. She can be so fierce, like how she gets so passionate talking about female shifters needing to learn to fight when they're young just like the men so they can defend themselves if they ever need to, especially before they can shift so the don't feel powerless and so they can fight with their pack if they wanted or needed to. Or how the council should be more involved with every pack, so they can keep everyone from doing what Dorian did.

                    I don’t think she knows just how amazing she is… or how beautiful.

                    As we walk back to land, her wet hair sticks to her neck and shoulders, the sun glimmers off her long legs as the water drips down her skin. I can’t put into words how gorgeous she looks walking out of the lake with her soaking wet tank top and panties sticking to her in all the right places, but she’s gorgeous all the time so it’s no surprise. Even in the middle of the night when she wakes up from her dreams, she’s always beautiful.

                    As we get back to the house, we both go to our bathrooms to shower and get changed. I have a meeting to go to this afternoon and have to be ready in an hour. Bailey wanted to come with me, so I’m gonna wait for her in the living room. I take much quicker showers than her, so I’ll have time to make us food before we go.

-----

                    As we get to the town hall where the meeting is being held, I notice Bailey deflates a little. Confused, I turn to her with concern. She’s usually so confident and outgoing.

                    “Are you okay?”

                    “Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

                    “Really?” I ask, rolling my eyes and giving her the look that tells her I’m not buying it.

                    “I just – I’m kinda nervous about the meeting. What if they wonder why I’m here? What if they think I don’t belong here?”

                    “Hey, don’t worry,” I place my hands on her shoulders and look her in they eye so she sees how serious I am. “they will love you and they won’t be upset that you’re here, you belong here just as much as any of them. Don’t ever think you don’t belong here, because you absolutely do. Besides, you should know by now that if anyone gives you s**t, I'll take care of them.”

                    Pulling me toward her, she wraps her arms around my waist and the scent of her fills my nose and consumes my senses, my heart starts pounding and I can’t get enough. She smells so good. When she pulls away, I can’t help but feel disappointed even though I knew we couldn’t stay like that forever.

                    As we get into the meeting room, the alphas from the other packs are here already and so are my betas. We walk over to sit down and I motion for my friend, Enzo, to move to the open seat next to him so Bailey can sit next to me. He just smiles mischievously and moves over.

                    “Thank you all for meeting me here today. Asher, I apologize for asking to have the meeting in your territory, I-“

                    “Don’t worry about it, I’m happy to help. You’re a good friend, Alexander.” I cut him off, waving away his concern.

                    “Alright, well let’s get into it then,” looking around to everyone, we all nod our approval to continue. “I’ve come to bring attention to the issue regarding the Royals.”

                    “What’s a Royal?” Bailey whispers into my ear.

                    “I’ll explain after the meeting.” I whisper, putting my hand on hers comfortingly.

                    Yeah, right. To comfort her, just keep telling yourself that. You know damn well you just want to feel her skin against yours.

                    Okay, yeah but it’s also to comfort her. I need to pay attention to this meeting, not think about my feelings right now.

                    “It’s come to my attention, since a Royal lives close by my pack and is a friend, someone’s killed two of the remaining Royals. I’m not yet sure if it’s a direct relation to the Midnights and Moon Spirit Clan ten years ago, or if it’s specifically because they’re Royals. It’s possible they just happened to be Royals and –“

                    “Wait, did you say the Midnights and Moon Spirit Clan?” Bailey almost jumps out of her seat.

                    “Yes. Why?”

                    “Do any of you actually know who killed my parents?”

                    “Well no,” he drags out while looking around at everyone else to gauge their reactions. “what do you mean ‘your parents’?”

                    “My name is Bailey Morgana Midnight, I’m the lone survivor of the Moon Spirit Clan. Dorian, Alpha of the Beartooth Pack killed my parents and my pack.”

                    The room fills with silence.

                    “Dorian? Are you sure?” Peter, another alpha here, asks.

                    Anger fills my veins like a burning fire, how could someone ask such a disrespectful question. Before I could even react, Bailey was out of her chair with fury in her eyes.

                    “Excuse me? Did you really just ask me if I’m sure Dorian killed my entire pack including my parents? Yes! I’m f*****g sure! Ya know how? He kept me as a gods damned slave from the day he killed them all and found me in the woods, until the day I left a week before turning nineteen!”

                    I can see the pain and hatred in her eyes, but I don't think the hatred is for him or his stupid question, I think it's for Dorian and her memories. He’s lucky she’s unable to shift yet or he’d most likely be dead right now. Hell he’s lucky I have the self-restraint to keep my hands to myself.

                    “He kept you as a slave?” Alexander asks, shocked and appalled.

                    “Yes, but I want to know why this might be related to my parents.”

                    Confusion fills the eyes of all the alphas in the room old enough to have known her parents, but before anyone else could say anything, my father stands up and walks over to Bailey.

                    “Dear,” he places his hand on her shoulder for comfort. “your parents were Royals.”

                    “But… what are Royals?” confusion fills her face.

                    “Royals are direct descendants of the Original Royals. The first generation of shifters, some of them had abilities. Their senses were heightened, they were stronger and faster, they had some magical abilities. Only some of the Original Shifters were Royals. Royals today are a direct descendant of them, the only difference is the magic has faded from most of the bloodlines over time,” he takes a deep breath, preparing to give more news.

                    “you, my dear, are the daughter of two Royals. You’re a True Royal, with the strongest of the bloodlines, you’re one of the strongest shifters. You may have abilities once you shift, True Royals are the only ones left who can still reach the magic in their bloodline. Not every True Royal can, but be prepared, it's very likely you will.”

                    Before anyone else can say anything, she turns around and storms out of the room.