Lost

Free

                    Resting on my bed after working for hours to get everything perfect for Holden’s party so everyone in the Beartooth pack would enjoy the day and forget about me, my nightmare has come true. Honestly, I should have been expecting it.

                    Charlotte’s screaming curses down the hall on her way to my room, and if that wasn’t enough she’s brought some guests with her. b***h and Bitchier are following along behind her talking s**t about me and agreeing with everything she says. Amelia and Ophelia are almost worse than their mother. They don’t even pretend to have a reason to beat me, they do it just to laugh.

                    Sitting on the edge of my bed, I take deep calming breaths to prepare myself for dealing with them. A few seconds pass and Charlotte’s screaming at me before she even slams my door open.

                    “What the hell is wrong with you, are you trying to ruin Holden’s birthday!” Charlotte is in a rage. Her daughters encouraging her doesn’t help at all.

                    “You’re useless! You never do anything right, that’s why everyone hates you!” Ophelia says as soon as her mother finishes speaking. The sharp sting of Amelia’s hand making contact with my already bruised cheek adds to the burning fire of hatred I hold for this family.

                    “Father should have killed you with the rest of those weak mutts from your pack, sparing you was a mistake!” Amelia shouted inches from my face. Immediately the room went as silent as a tomb.

                    So many emotions filled me at once, whirling around like a hurricane inside me. Charlotte pulled the girls from my room, scolding Amelia but I couldn’t pay attention to what she was saying. What Amelia said kept replaying in my head as I sat frozen staring at nothing in particular. I should have known, why didn’t I put the pieces together? I always thought they had found me and just wanted someone to do everything for them and take their frustrations out on. I should have figured it out.

                    Charlotte never came back to tell my why she was angry before, I’m surprised she didn’t come back just to rub it in that Dorian killed my family, my pack. But then again, they don’t know my parents were the Alpha and Luna. They think I’m an orphan of one of the many other pack members they killed. I can’t wait any longer, I need to get out of here. I don’t care if they come after me to punish me, I don’t care if they find me and kill me, I just don’t care anymore, just being in their house makes me burn with a raging fire of loathing for them.

                    Besides, if they don’t find me in a week there’s nothing they can do unless they want to kill me anyway, I’ll be an adult in the shifter world they have no right to keep me. Slowly getting control of my limbs again, my body stiff from sitting for so long, the pain from my injuries comes back and hits me full force. I grab everything I own and shove it into a small bag, keeping my only pair of jeans and a fresh tank top on my bed to change into.

                    Finding perfectly good skinny jeans in the trashcan of some pack member was one of my only moments of having ‘good luck’ but I could never wear them, they’d probably accuse me of stealing them just to beat me. It wasn’t worth it.

                    After stripping off the dirty clothes, I pull the jeans over my hips carefully so I don’t irritate my already irritated cuts. Sliding the black tank top over my head, my right arm with the most cuts gives me some trouble going through the hole but eventually I get it through with only minimal pain. Putting on my shoes after I finish dressing, I grab the only jacket I own and make sure I have everything. It doesn’t take long, I only own a few things. The most important is a necklace I got for one of my early birthdays, I’d wear it every day. But when Dorian and Charlotte took me in I had to hide it, just thinking about them taking it away from me made my chest tight and heart race. Finally being able to wear it again fills me with hope and a happiness I haven’t felt in as long as I can remember. My last piece of my mother and father.

                    Sneaking out of my room and tiptoeing to the side door, I have to be more quiet and careful than ever. It’s ten at night and everyone might not be asleep, but I have to leave now, I can’t stay here for another second. Once I make it outside I keep to the shadows and quietly pad my way to the woods. Finally enveloped by the shadow of the trees I run as fast as I can until I run right into something – someone. Looking up I see Holden. f**k.

                    “Where do you think you’re going?” he asks with a smug smile spread across his face.

                    “I’m leaving. I refuse to be around you monsters for a moment longer, I’d rather die!” I scream at him inches from his face. Surprised by my reaction, he stands there momentarily stunned. He’s only ever seen me express my anger once before, the last time we spoke.

                    “We’re not monsters! We’re warriors!” He yells back with contention. In his eyes I can see he truly believes that, at least to some degree, and he wants me to believe it too.

                    “Your father killed my entire pack, including my mother and father! Then he takes me in only to be a f*****g slave! If your father was even half the Alpha my father was he wouldn’t need to grow his pack by force with the threat of death! And even then, threatened with death none of my pack wanted to join yours, because they knew what kind of person he was!”

                    “Your… your father was the Alpha?” confusion and shock covers his face. I’m too angry to care that I let that slip. I’m leaving anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore.

                    “Yes. And your father killed them. I’m leaving. In a week I’ll be of age anyway.” As I start to walk away, Holden grabs my arm swinging me back around to face him.

                    “I’m sorry about your parents but he wouldn’t kill them for no reason!”

                    “Yeah, because he’s a damn saint, right? That’s why he took me in and beat me for the last twelve years! If you’re that blind to what’s going on right in front of you, you’ll never be a leader, you’ll have the title of Alpha but you’ll just be a puppet for your father.”

                    “I’ll be a good Alpha, you’ll see! Wherever you go, when I’m Alpha I’ll find you and you’ll regret everything you’ve said!”

                    Standing still, he doesn’t make a move to chase me so I leave. Running for as long as possible, jumping over logs and batting hanging trees and twigs out of my face. After what must’ve been at least three hours, my legs throb and shake, sweats dripping down my brow and all of my muscles burn like they’re being covered by lava, screaming for me to stop but I have to ignore the agony right now. Just a little further.

                    When my breathing turns to gasping and my throat feels raw, I know my body can’t take any more so I finally slow to a jog before walking. For hours I just keep telling myself to put one foot in front of another. Eventually I find a road, with the trees to my left I follow the road until I see lights. Knowing I have nowhere to sleep and I don’t exactly have a plan, I walk back into the woods enough so no one will see me in the daylight and lay down with my bag as a pillow.

------

                      After a few days in Choteau, an older man comes up to me sitting on a bench after trying to find something I could do to earn money.

                     “Hello, young lady. Are you okay, what’s got you looking so gloomy?” He asks with a kind voice. Looking up to face him, I try to smile but I know it doesn’t look real.

                    “Hi, I’m alright. Trying to find a way to earn money. But I don’t know how to do much, this is my first time in a town since I was little.”

                    “Well where’s your family, how did you get here?” I don’t know what to say, so I stick as close as I can to the truth.

                    “My family died when I was young, I ran away from the family that took me in. They didn’t care about me, they just wanted someone to cook and clean for them and take out their frustration on.”

                    “Oh, dear. Well my name is Henry, I run a flower shop down the street. I could use a little help with cleaning the place and taking care of the plants, if you’d like?” Relief filled my chest, I’m so grateful I jumped up to hug him before I realized it must be awkward to be hugged by a stranger.

                    “Sorry about that, I'm just so grateful. I’d love that, thank you so much. My name is Bailey by the way.” He just laughs.

                    After a few days, Henry and his wife Helen pulled me aside at the flower shop and offered to let me stay in the apartment above their garage. Tears swelled in my eyes from the gesture. They are so kind, I’m lucky to have met them. Even when I leave here they will always stick with me, their kindness and generosity remind me that with all the evil people in the world there are kind and loving people to match them.

                    The first time I took a shower, I stood under the steamy hot water until it ran cold. I had forgotten just how amazing it felt.

                    For weeks I’ve been working and saving as much money as I can, the only money I spent besides getting food was some new clothes and shoes. I bought two pairs of black jeans and a pair of blue denim shorts along with a couple white and black tank tops and t-shirts. There was a black jacket with a hood on sale, the tag said ‘faux leather’ and I had to ask the lady working what that was. It was so nice I couldn’t not get it and I got a pair of black ankle boots with straps, after not having anything for so long, it felt amazing to be able to get clothes that I like. I also got some new underwear and socks, but I didn’t know what size bra I wear since I’ve never been given one. I figured there’s no point in getting one now. The only thing I got that wasn’t clothing was a nice black canvas backpack with brown faux leather straps big enough to carry my new clothes and whatever else I’ll need to take with me when I leave.

                    Walking out of the store I felt so good, like I was becoming my own person. That’s the best thing I could get for my birthday this year.

------

                    It’s been eight months since I arrived in Choteau, I could never have imagined I’d be happy like this. Henry and Helen have been so good to me, I could never thank them enough, no matter how many times they told me I have. I told them I’ll be leaving at the beginning of next month, further east into North Dakota. It was bittersweet but to move forward with my life I have to leave this part of it behind me. They both helped me a lot with learning the things I should have known but didn’t from being locked away for so long. Besides Henry and Helen I’ve kept to myself, knowing I was leaving, there’s no point in making friends. It’d be hard to be friends with a human anyway, my life is in the shifter world and they can’t be a part of it.

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                    Last night Helen cooked a delicious meal for all of us since I’m leaving today, they bought me a bus ticket for Medora, North Dakota as a parting gift and gave me a couple hundred dollars more so they know I’ll have enough to get me by until I get to my final destination. It’ll be a long bus ride but it’s better than walking, that’s for sure. I’ll only be staying there for a month before heading further east. I’m hoping to make it to Virginia before my next birthday. The only pack I remember enough about to find, hopefully, is Green Mountain Pack. The alpha was my father's best friend.

                    Looking out the window of the bus, there’s so many beautiful sites. So much I’ve never seen. My mother loved to travel, one of my last memories of her was me sitting in her lap in the rocking chair she kept in my room for story time before bed, she was telling me about all the places we’d visit when we went with my father to meet the other Alphas and their packs. I was so excited to travel with my parents and meet other packs. At least now I can do one of those things.    

                    After around eight hours on the bus, I enter Medora. The closest building is a convenience and liquor store. Walking toward the register, the man is ringing up a costumer, so I walk to the refrigerated section and grab a bottled water. When the customer leaves I walk over and the man greets me.

                    “Hello ma’am, is the water all you’re getting’?

                    “Yes, but I’d like to ask a few questions if you don’t mind.” Smiling politely, I go over my questions in my head again. They’re not complicated, but after being isolated for so long, I still get a little nervous talking to strangers. I get this feeling in my gut, telling me I’m bothering them, but I have to ignore it and get comfortable making conversation or asking questions.

                    “Sure thing, ma’am. What’d ya like to know?” He asks with a polite nod.

                    “Where could I get a room around here for about a month?”

                    “Ah, that’s easy. Down the road, not even a ten minute walk there’s the Badlands Motel. Anything else?”

                    “Yeah, just one more thing. Do you know if there’s anywhere hiring in town?” I ask with a smile.

                    “As far as I know the general store, Joe Ferris General Store that is, they’re hirin’ if ya wanna go check ‘em out. Over there on Main Road, opposite side of town as Badlands.” Handing me my water bottle, he nods and waves as I thank him and walk out.

                    The walk to the Badlands Motel was as short as he said, but I almost kinda wish it was longer. It’s so beautiful here, the wide open plains covered in grass and bushes and beautiful plants. Some of the plants look like tall grass with blue flowers on them. The  tall mountains with grass on top of layers of rock and trees everywhere. It feels so peaceful here, I’m so happy I came here.

                    When getting my room at Badlands they gave me a discount for booking the room for a full month, after dropping my bag in my room I decide to check out the town on my way to the General Store. Medora is beautiful, the buildings look so old and the people are kind. The owner of Joe Ferris General Store gave me a job and told me there’s a musical tonight outside at the Burning Hills Amphitheater.

                    When I get to the amphitheater, the suns about to set while I find a seat in the center that has a good view of everything. My chest is tight with excitement for seeing my first musical.

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                    The month is up tomorrow, I’ll be heading to a new place and I couldn’t be happier. Seeing all of these wonderful things and meeting so many kind people has helped me in so many ways. My job at the General Store was so great, helping people find what they were looking for and meeting people as they came in. I made a decent amount of money to add to my savings. Laying down in bed, I fall asleep thinking about my future and what I hope it looks like.

                                   A circle of wolves surrounds me, some snarling at me and others standing                                 against them in defense of me. Confused, I look around and a man I’ve never seen before is             holding my hand. Suddenly through the wall of wolves that want me dead, walks Dorian. Throwing                         Holden at my feet with a menacing smile he starts talking but I can’t hear what he’s                                 saying. Then I start walking toward him as he comes toward me and in the blink of an eye                                                                                 he’s shifted… and so have I.

                              Going at each other’s throats, we both land a few blows. He gets close to my                                                     throat, but before I see if he rips me to shreds everything goes dark.

                    Waking with a scream and drenched in sweat, I try to calm down. Telling myself it was just a dream, it doesn’t mean anything. Looking at the time, I jump out of bed and throw all my stuff into my bag. I slept in and need to be at the bus terminal in thirty minutes. Throwing my clothes on, I shove my wavy dark brown, almost black, hair into a messy bun on the top of my head, I put my boots on and grab my new jacket before running out the door. Returning my door key, I wave bye and run out the door toward the bus terminal. Two minutes after I get there my bus comes and I’m on my way to Indiana, my longest bus ride so far.

                    As the bus takes off, I listen to music on the phone I had bought a few days ago. I spent most of last night downloading music that I found online. After a few hours of watching the scenery change out the window while my music plays, I start to daze off.

                           The man that stood by my side before was right in front of me, a hand around my                                    waist while his other cupped my cheek. I felt the warmth of his skin against mine, the                          scent of leather mixed with damp twigs and a cool evening air sweeping in from the forest                         after summer rain flood my senses. Inhaling his scent lights a fire in me. So focused on how                           amazing he smells I don’t notice he’s leaning toward me until his lips press against mine.                     Our tongues dance together as our hands roam each other’s bodies as if with every touch we                             commit that part of the body to memory. Pulling his shirt off, I run my hands all way from                             his neck down his abs to the top of his jeans. Just as he lifts my shirt over my head                                                                                             everything fades away.

                    Jumping awake in my seat, I notice the bus has stopped. Most passengers are getting off to grab snacks and drinks or go to the bathroom, I just stay in my seat and focus on my breathing. These dreams are so vivid, they feel real. I’ve never really dreamed before, or at least I never remembered them. These don’t feel like dreams, though. It feels like I’m living them, every touch, every smell. It’s so strange.