Lost

Friends

                    “You’re lucky I’m not in the mood to hide a body tonight.”

                    Standing up, Val loops her arm in mine, turning me around with her and walking us out to the parking lot. The crisp night air fills my lungs and calms me down almost instantly. She sits on the hood of her car and pats the side next to her, inviting me over.

                    “You okay, Bailey?”

                    “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been through worse, he was just irritating and creepy. At least he didn’t kidnap me.” I try to joke, but it lands flat. Apparently she didn’t know that happened, whoops. Staring at me in shock, I explain what happened before I came here.

                    “I’m sorry you’ve been through all that, but nothing will happen to you now. We all have your back.” Smiling at me, I can tell she genuinely means that and a smile spreads across my face, too.

                    “Thanks, I really appreciate that. I was talking to Ash the other day about how I think as kids we should be taught how to fight, both guys and girls. Until we shift, girls are at a serious disadvantage and have no way to defend ourselves against the creeps that are out there,” gesturing with my hand toward the woods, I internally cringe when I think about that asshole from Indianapolis.

                    “my father used to teach me how to fight when I was little. Since I could walk he’d teach me how to defend and fight back, but then he died … they all did,” I trail off for a brief moment.

                    “For a few years I’d practice what I remembered in my limited spare time but eventually I just stopped…” The memories come rushing back, hitting my heart like a freight train. My father’s face when I’d learn a new move and when my fighting improved, my mother clapping from the sidelines.

                    Shortly after my memories took over, the guys came out to check on us. I didn’t notice Val had her arm around my shoulders while I blanked out until I snapped back to reality. We decide to call the night early and on the ride back, Val makes me promise I’ll still go to the mall with her tomorrow, like I’d ever pass up an opportunity to shop.  

-----

                   Closing my door behind me, my phone buzzes several times in my back pocket while I take my shoes off. Before continuing to undress, I pull it out and check the screen, smiling when it lights up and I see the texts.

                    From Val: Goodnight girl! Can’t wait to show you the mall tomorrow you’re gonna love meeting my girlfriends.

                    From Elias: It was lovely finally meeting you Bailey. I hope you have sweet dreams.

                    From Enzo: nice meeting you.

                    From Val: Oh! And if you ever need anything just call me! Day or night!

                    From Ash: Since we all got your number tonight I figured I should text you too. No doubt everyone else already has. Goodnight, Bailey. Sweet dreams.

                    “Night, Ash!” I call through the wall, making him laugh.

                    To Val: Looking forward to tomorrow! Thanks Val! Night.

                    To Elias: It was great meeting you too Elias! Night.

                    To Enzo: It was nice meeting you too Enzo! Night.

                    Plugging my phone in, I place it on my nightstand and as I finish getting undressed, my mind obsesses with trying to figure out why Enzo and Elias seem so familiar to me. All night I’ve had this weird feeling that I know them, but I know I’ve never met them before. Once I’m in my undies, I get under the covers and try to push all the thoughts out of my mind, focusing on counting as high as I can. Eventually sleep finally takes me.

                    In front of me is a beautiful small castle, hidden inside a huge cave. The cave walls are                     hundreds of feet tall, and the cave’s very deep, I must be at least three hundred feet into the cave           already. As my body turns around, I’m able to see behind me, the front of the cave is covered in vines and other plants, with rocks and boulders mixed in. I assume from outside the cave, all of this is hidden.

                                                                    Why though? It’s gorgeous.

                         When I’ve admired everything there is, I finally notice what I’m wearing.

A gorgeous wine red satin off-the-shoulder dress with a slit all the way up to my thigh, I’ve never seen                                                         something so beautiful much less wore it.

As I walk up to the castle, I see four men behind me in my peripheral. They’re just shadows though, and I     can’t turn around to see who they are. It would be so much easier if I could control this dream body.

  After walking up the front stairs, I slowly turn around and face the entrance to the cave. Now there are hundreds of people there, all dressed up, just staring at me with happy faces. I finally look to the men at                                                                             my sides and –

     Deacon… Deacon’s standing to my right, next to Ash. To my left are Elias and Enzo. They’re just as                         dressed up as I am. They look at me with so much love in their eyes it hurts.

          Before I can blink, everything and everyone is gone. For what feels like eternity and less than a                 second all at once, everything is white and then I’m in a field. Now I’m in my black cargo skinny                jeans and boots, with a dirty white tee shirt and my black jacket. My hair’s up and I have a dagger covered in blood in my hands. Looking around, there’s dead bodies all over the field behind me, shifters                                                 both as wolves and humans lying motionless.

Everything turns to white again, then I’m laying in bed with Elias. We’re laughing and snuggling together,                                                                     kissing and… making love.

                                                                            What is going on?

Then the white flashes again and I’m standing above Holden’s body. He’s been beaten so bad he looks close to death. I drag him away for a few seconds before someone helps me. When I face the man who             helps, it’s.. Deacon. I just can’t understand why Deacon is always in these dreams.

    White flashes, and I’m following a young woman I don’t know, suddenly an intense pain hits my head         and everything goes black. When I open my eyes, I see Deacon and Ash covered in blood coming                 through a door, as soon as they’re in the room someone steps out of the shadows – the girl                                                         from before – she stabs Deacon in his side and he falls.

                     Jumping forward, I wake up drenched in sweat, the remnants of pain in my head slowly fading. Trying to remember everything I had dreamt, I realize why Enzo and Elias looked so familiar. I had seen them before. Their blue eyes, light brown and dirty blonde hair, their tall and muscular bodies, I’d dreamt about them before I even knew they existed. But how? Why?  

                    No, it’s more likely I dreamt of someone that looked like them and my brain just thinks it’s them because they look similar. That’s the only thing that makes sense. All the stress of everything that’s happened within the last year is probably what’s causing all of these weird dreams. I’m just overreacting. I rationalize, convincing myself it’s just a coincidence.

                    Getting in the shower, I turn the water so hot it burns, so all I can focus on is the sting on my skin. When the water starts to lose it’s heat, I wash my body and hair so I can get out before it turns cold.  

                    Letting my hair air dry, I get dressed and put my shoes on so I can go lay at the lake.

                    Walking up to the cliff, everything is silent and peaceful. I don’t see anyone until I’m at the top and trip over their feet.

                    “Oh s**t,” I mutter, catching myself from falling. “sorry, didn’t think anyone would be up here.”

                    Enzo sits up, looking at me with an expression I can’t read.

                    “No problem, I was just leaving.” He says, moving to get up.

                    “Oh, okay.” I feel like him leaving has more to do with me being here than him actually having been about to go.

                    Before I could ask, I turn around and he’s gone. I look around and down the hill, nothing. He’s vanished.

                    Laying on my back, the soft grass dampens my clothes with dew while I stare up into the stars and try to make sense of everything from my dreams and how it’s all making me feel.

                                                                                 ASHER

                    As the sun breaches the horizon, I roll out of bed to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. After I’m dressed, I knock on Bailey’s door to see what she wants for breakfast. When I don’t get a response, I peek my head inside but she’s not there. Her phone is on the nightstand and it’s buzzing, so I figure she’s in the bathroom or something. Heading downstairs, I make some coffee. When it’s done, I pour some into a cup and bring it to my dad.

                    “Here Pops, looks like you could use this.” I chuckle, holding the cup out for him.

                    “How’s Bailey holding up?” he asks after a sip.

                    “I think she’s doing alright, she seemed better after meeting everyone last night and going out, even after the little dipshit at the bar.”

                    “What dipshit at the bar?”

                    “Just some asshole that wouldn’t leave her alone. He was human so it wasn’t a big deal. Val put him in his place.” I said with a smile.

                    “That Val is a strong woman she is.” He says over a chuckle.

                    “Yeah, I’m gonna go see what Bailey wants for breakfast,” I give him one last wave over my shoulder as I head out the door. “I already know what you want, don’t worry.”

                    Jogging up the stairs, I knock but there’s no answer still. Opening the door, I look around again but she’s nowhere to be seen.

                    “Bailey, you in here?” I call out, waiting for a response. Her phone vibrates again so I grab it, sliding it in my pocket.  

                    “Bailey’s not here, I’m gonna go to the lake and check on her.” I tell my dad through our link. As alpha I can mentally link to anyone in my pack, it comes in handy more than I ever thought it would.

                    When I get to the lake, Bailey’s laying on the cliff, legs dangling over the ledge and arms spread out, playing with a flower sticking out of the ground. As I walk over to her, I make sure to drag my feet once or twice so she hears me coming since she doesn’t have her shifter senses yet.

                    “Hey Ash,” she calls over to me without moving. “how’d you sleep?”

                    “Can’t complain, definitely better than you apparently.”

                    “Yeah, I’ve been having weird dreams lately.”

                    “Anything you wanna talk about?” I ask, sitting down next to her.

                    Letting out a deep breath, she sits up and looks at me with exhaustion in her eyes.

                    “No it’s okay, they’re just weird.” She shrugs, trying to make it seem like they don’t bother her as much as I can see they do.

                    “Alright, I’m here if you need me though,” sliding her phone from my pocket, I hold it out for her. “this was vibrating both times I went to check on you.

                    “Thanks,” smiling, she takes it and checks the screen. “s**t! I gotta get ready for Val to come get me. She’s coming in an hour.”

                    “Yeah, I told her to let you know at least an hour in advance whenever she comes to get you because you take long as hell showers.” Laughing, she looks at me in mock offense before she laughs too.

                    “I appreciate it,” she gently kicks my leg in a friendly way. “you know me so well. I took a shower when I woke up but I could use another before going out, since I’ve been laying on the ground and am covered in dew and dirt.”

                    Getting up, I offer her my hand, pulling her to her feet so we can get home.

                    “I made a cup of coffee for you, it’s sitting on the kitchen counter.” I tell her as I open the door for her. Smiling, she hugs and thanks me before grabbing the coffee and going to her room to get ready.

                    Her smile is so beautiful, the little dimples that appear when she’s genuinely happy and how her eyes sparkle, the different colors in each getting more vibrant the happier she is. I silently admire.

                                                                                    BAILEY

                    Getting out of the shower, I dry off and go to pick out my clothes. With my hair wrapped up in a towel, I go through my drawers and decide to wear my white tank top and a flannel Ash gave me, I grab some socks to slide on and pull my black cotton panties over my hips. Before picking out what bottoms I’m going to wear, I open my door and call out to Ash.

                    “What’s the weather gonna be like today, Ash?”

                    Opening his door, he sees me standing in my doorway in just my socks, panties, and tank top, with the flannel draped over my arm. For a second we just stand still as statues, staring at each other. His eyes keep going from top to bottom, then to meet my eyes and repeat while I just watch his face. When he finally snaps out of it, my cheeks burn and it spreads to the tips of my ears. Quickly I pull the flannel off my arm and open it to cover my waist and below.

                    “Uh, sorry, I, uh… what did you ask?” he stutters, trying to keep his eyes above my head until the flannel covers as much as it can.

                    “The, uh, the weather… for today.”

                    “Right, yeah, it’s gonna be sexy – hot – h-humid. It’s gonna be warm and humid.”

                    “Thanks.” I reply as we close our doors as fast as possible.

                    He was definitely checking me out. The thought of him finding me sexy makes my stomach flutter, and my core heat up. Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I mentally scold myself. Get your s**t together, Bailey. I have s*x dreams about four men for Goddesses sake, when I should be focusing on learning as much as I can about myself. At least today I’m gonna be with Val and not any guys. Going through my drawer, I find a pair of jean shorts and slide them on.

                    But the way Ash’s face got pink when he saw me in my underwear was so hot, and how he froze and couldn’t decide where he wanted to look before realizing what he was doing. Asher really is a sexy man, my thoughts wander back before I catch myself.

                    Gods Bailey, stop it… but I mean… on the other hand, it’s not really bad to think about him. Thinking and acting are completely different. I shouldn’t beat myself up over thoughts, I can’t help my thoughts, right? And I mean, he’s sexy as sin from top to bottom and his voice could drive me wild if – Alright, enough. I don’t have to think in detail. Just focus on getting ready. I scold myself, rolling my eyes.

                   Once my ankle boots are on, I slide my phone into the pocket of my jean shorts and tie the flannel around my waist before I take my hair out of the towel and run my fingers through it to loosen any knots. Hearing a honk outside, I look through my window and feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. On my way down the stairs, I yell my goodbye to Asher and text Val, letting her know I’m coming.

------

                    “Hey, girl!” Val exclaims with a smile as I slide in the passengers seat and shut the door.

                    “Hey, Val so where are we going shopping?” I ask with a smile. Laughing, she tells me about this big mall that’s in Roanoke.

                    “Valley View Mall is only about thirty minutes away, wanna listen to the radio?”

                    “Hell yeah, I didn’t know how much I loved music until I finally left Dorian’s.”

                    “You really never listened to music before then?” there’s sympathy in her voice, but also confusion and surprise.

                    “I mean, I’d heard music before. I listened to music some when I was little, but I didn’t have my own taste in music then it was just whatever my parents played, and at Dorian’s there was music that they played occasionally, but it was always when they were in their rooms or doing something personal, ya know? I could never choose a song or listen to anything on my own, just what I overheard. I didn’t know any current music besides little pieces I’d hear from them.” I explained, trying to ignore the sour feeling that always filled me to my bones when I talked or thought about my time at Dorian’s.

                    Solemnly nodding, she turned the radio on.

                    “Feel free to change the station if you want!” she smiled.                    

                    As we pulled into a parking space, I just stare out at the mall. It’s huge.                   

                    Getting out of the car, two women came running up to us, screaming and waving.

                    “Val!” the one with light brown hair yelled.

                    “You’re here!” the woman with dirty blonde hair called out as they ran up to us and hugged both of us as tight as they could.

                    “Come on girls, you’re gonna kill us!” Val laughed.

                    “This is Adrienne,” she motioned toward the woman with light brown hair. “and this is Kali. She was the baby of the group until you came.” She gestured to the ever so slightly shorter woman with dirty blonde hair while we laughed.

                    “Hey, I’m Bailey. It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled and waved at them both, in return they hugged me, making us all laugh again.

                    “Let’s get shopping, bitches!” Val yells as we all walk to the doors.

                    Going from store to store, we look at clothes and help each other pick out things we think would look good on each other. Adrienne and Kali are a lot less … crazy? No, that’s not right. Energetic? Yeah, that fits better. They’re a lot less energetic than Val, more mellow, but they’re still a lot of fun like Val.

                    Val picked out a wine red lace bralette for me, and Adrienne picked out these black booties with a five inch heel that I was terrified to try on at first. The ankle boots, which I now know are called booties, only have a little tiny heel that’s probably only a half inch if that. They encouraged me to at least try them on, because the thickness of the heel will make it easier to walk in and of course, they were right. Kali found dark blue skinny jeans with a few holes in them and when I tried them on, they were so comfortable and stretchy and wearing all three things together looked amazing. They all have really great taste. I picked out a black vintage fifties biker jacket that was on sale and added it to my new outfit.

                    For Val, I found a dark blue tank top with scallop trim around the neckline that’s snug in all the right places and matches her blonde hair and skin tone perfectly, almost making her blue eyes glow. Adrienne picked a high waisted pleated skirt of the same color for her, and Kali found a pair of beige knee high boots for her. We got Adrienne a pair of light blue skinny jeans, white canvas slip on sneakers, and a blue and white striped somewhat flowy tee shirt. Kali got an open knit sheer white cardigan to go over the purple tank top, and high waisted ripped light jean shorts. We promised each other we’d wear these outfits for our night out this weekend.

                    After we each picked pieces out for each other and got other things we wanted for ourselves, we went to get some food at one of the cafés in the mall. Adrienne recommended a caramel iced coffee and when I tasted it, it’s like my taste buds came alive for the first time in my life. It’s amazing. As we drink our iced coffees and eat out food, we make conversation and get to know each other better.

                    “So how long have you been at Moon Valley Pack?” Kali asks.

                    “Almost two months. What about you and Adrienne?”

                    “Call me Addie, it’s easier.” she adds with a friendly laugh before letting Kali answer.

                    “Technically we became part of the pack a couple years ago when our uncle became alpha of our old pack and we came here. It’s kind of a messy story.”

                    “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

                    “Don’t worry, it’s okay. It doesn’t bother us anymore.” Addie interrupts, reassuring me with a smile.

                    “So Bailey,” Val drags out my name with a mischievous smile. “how do you like living with Asher?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

                    My cheeks start to burn and I can feel it spreading to the tips of my ears. Ducking my head slightly, I try to hide it as much as possible which makes them giggle.

                    “It’s fine, he’s really cool.” Is all I can say, because it’s true.

                    “Oh, come on girl. We can all see how hot he is,” as soon as she pointed out how good looking he is, a strange feeling passed through me, almost like anger but not exactly. Ignoring it, I focused on what Val was saying. “you’ve gotta enjoy having him that close. I’ve seen the way he looks at you! He’s sure as hell happy you’re there.”

                    “It’s… complicated I guess. I mean, yeah he’s hot and it’s nice living with him across the hall. We’ve had our share of awkward encounters but…” taking a deep breath, I try to calm my nerves. I don’t know if I should tell them, but I need to talk to someone about it. “I’ve been having these weird dreams, not just about him.”

                    “Ohh, what kind of dreams?” Val asks, looking excited.

                    Addie slaps Val on the arm, getting her attention.

                    “Stop it Val, if it were a sexy dream I think she’d be more excited than this,” she gestures to me clearly looking uncomfortable. “she looks miserable.”

                    “Okay, so what’s up?” Val asks in a more serious tone.

                    “I don’t know how to explain it without sounding crazy and I don’t want you to get angry at me,” I start rambling, unsure how to describe everything I’ve been dreaming about. “they technically are – well some of them are technically sexy dreams but it’s weird. It’s not just with Ash, it’s with Deacon, Elias, and Enzo.” I explain all in one breath.

                    “Damn girl, why would I be mad? That’s gotta be a lot of fun!” she says while laughing.

                    “But… I’ve been having these dreams about your cousins before I’d ever met them. Or knew they existed. Deacon and Ash, too. I always had a feeling they looked familiar and it hadn’t clicked until I felt the same familiarity about Enzo and Elias and had a dream with them,” I continue, trying to properly explain why it’s so weird. “Sometimes they’re not sexy dreams, sometimes they’re in places I’ve never been and we’re fighting other shifters. Or one of them is getting hurt. It’s just so weird… I can see that they’re all attractive, but I don’t know if I have feelings for any of them or I think I might because of the dreams… does that make sense?”

                    For a second they’re all quiet, taking in everything I said.                   

                    “Well, I can’t say what these dreams mean, if they mean anything, but honestly I’d ask Elias about it. He’s a witch and knows a lot about magic, and since you’re a True Royal it may have something to do with magic.” Kali offers with a sympathetic smile.                    “You might want to leave out the sexy bits, just the overall dream thing. If he asks for deets, tell him about the fighting and stuff.” Adrienne adds.

                    “But I haven’t even shifted for the first time –“

                    “True Royals aren’t like regular shifters, Bailey. Your birthday is close, some magic might be seeping through before the dam bursts, ya know what I mean?” Kali says.

                    “I knew there was at least some sexy time in those dreams!” Val says, lightening the mood.

                    After we talk for a little bit more, we continue window shopping until our feet feel like they’re bleeding and our arms are noodles from carrying our bags everywhere, then we head back to the cars. When Val and I get to her car, we put the bags inside and hug Addie and Kali, saying our goodbyes. They both send me a text as we leave, so I can add their numbers to my short list of contacts.

                    From Addie: I’m so glad we met, Val was right about you. You’re definitely gonna be the fourth edition to our girl group. Talk later xx”

                    From Kali: It was great meeting you! So glad Val got us together, let me know if you want any help looking up any info on True Royals!”

                    Before I put my phone away, I realize I’d gotten a text from Ash earlier that I missed.

                    The entire car ride we’re both so tired from shopping, we just listen to the radio in companionable silence, but when we pull into Ash’s driveway an excited energy fills me, thinking about learning anything about what I am. Saying bye to Val, I run into the door and look for Ash. Of course I find him in the kitchen, reading while the alfredo is on the stove.

                    When he hears me walk in, he jumps to his feet with a smile and motions to the book in his hand.

                    “I was just checking to see if there’s anything helpful. We can go over them all after dinner if you’d like.”

                    “I’d love that, thanks so much!” I basically tackle him with a hug to show my gratitude, when his arms wrap around my waist it feels like I’ve been electrocuted. In a good way.

                    Inhaling all the food on my plate so we can go over the books, Ash laughs, pulling his chair next to mine placing four books on the table.