Healer For Alpha

The Goodbye

{ Lunanci }

Rio falls completely asleep next to me and even starts snoring lightly but I can't fall asleep that easily. My nerves have been at a million since yesterday and I don't know what to do with myself.

Rio's hands reach for me and pull me into his body all of a sudden, hugging me just like he hugs his pillow. I try to pull away but he won't let me and I have no choice but to stay like this.

I don't know why I can't sleep, I'm completely exhausted, but my head is going a mile a second. Alpha and I... we were both under his rut most of the day.

I had more sëx yesterday than I've had in my entire life combined, my body and mind were totally out of control. Even when we weren't touching I felt influenced by his energy. Alpha was trying to give me time to recover but I kept refusing. I would push him for us to do it again, like a complete degenerate, until I physically couldn't take it anymore and alpha had to go lock himself in his own room as if he was running away from me. Once I was alone I had to go out on the balcony to breathe fresh air and free myself from the heavy energy of the suite.

I had a whole ritual with myself to make myself feel normal again and once I succeeded, I ordered food for both of us and we ate in his room, staying away from each other and just chatted for a while.

"I need you to call someone to clean that room tomorrow and get rid of the sheets, also to open the window so the scents of us are not present when the human returns to his body," Alpha told me, sounding very serious, "I also need you to take a long, long shower so he won't notice his scent on you. I know he’s not that bright, but I still want to be safe."

"Why are you so worried about keeping this a secret from Rio? Isn't it... easy for him to figure out what's going on with you, too?"

"I can block my feelings from him. And I need to because I don't trust him with you yet," he replied, "I'm a young alpha, but I know what I want. He doesn't. He's a kid still. When I feel he's ready, I'll let him know what's going on and then we can be together forever."

I froze for a moment not knowing how to deal with those words. Forever sounds like a long time.

"I'll die soon," I reminded him. Alpha snorted as if it was ridiculous.

"That's not going to happen," he assured, "If I have to challenge my own cousin, I will. And if I have to leave his clan, I will. There's nothing I care about more than you right now and there's no way I'm going to let anyone hurt you, it's just not going to happen."

The arrogance and confidence of this werewolf is quite appealing, but that doesn't change that no matter how strong he is, he can't stop external factors. He can't stop the fact that he may be completely wrong about us being destined.

In nothing I've read about his people and culture says anything about a werewolf and a human being together in a fated way.

"And do you think Rio will like your plan to be together forever?"

"Yes, there's no way he won't."

After that we just spent the rest of his rut chatting, he never even came near me again. I don't know what I did to make a werewolf in rut want to stay away from me, but it was almost funny. And in the morning I realized that Rio really had no idea about what happened between us.

I tried to get back to normal but it's simply impossible now to look at him as just a friend or a forced roommate. He is a man with whom I shared bodily fluids only hours ago. Although his wolf may be present as a different entity, they are still the same person. And they have the same body that did all sorts of perversities to me yesterday, even if the i***t in charge right now is completely unaware of what happened.

My head never stops working, but somehow I end up sleeping for a couple of hours. When I wake up Rio keeps crushing me against his body. It feels good, so I pretend to stay asleep for another while until he wakes up.

We spend the morning like almost every day since he's been here, but as soon as we finish breakfast we start packing up our things. I feel strange as I do it. I'm excited because for the first time in my life I'm leaving this town, but I'm also feeling homesick because I know it's very likely I'll never come back. Rio may think of this apartment as a shack, but it has been my home for two years. My safe place.

"Before we leave for Toronto... do you think I can go say goodbye to my parents?" I ask and he agrees, so we load our bags into his car and I drive to my adoptive parents' house.

I came into the Hale’s family when I was nine years old and although they were always good to me and made me feel part of the family, I never managed to see them as my real parents. They were my saviors, basically, but I always felt like that, like a little rescued animal that was taking up space that wasn't hers, and when two years later they had their own child, I felt even more like an intruder in their home. But I still love them, I try to keep in touch as much as I can and we even all go out to eat together sometimes, I know they care about me and I just can't leave (maybe forever) without saying goodbye.

When I get to my old house, I turn to tell Rio I'll be back in a moment but he's already getting out of the car, inviting himself to come along. I walk beside him to the door and ring the doorbell.

"Luna?" my mother asks as she opens the door, "What a surprise! Come in! You should have told me you were coming so I could prepare something to eat or..."

"Hi, mom," I answer with a smile and respond to her hug, "It was a last minute decision... is everyone home? This is my friend Rio, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," he replies and greets my mom with a hug, too, "It's a lovely home you have here."

"Thank you, Rio, what a nice boy," she says with a smile, "Sit down, Dad and Jesse are upstairs, I'll go get them."

I think they heard our arrival because Jesse comes running down the stairs and crashes into me before mom even finishes speaking. My dad’s heavy footsteps are coming down the stairs as well.

I try to keep the conversation normal for a moment while my mom acts like a restless wasp and goes to get something for us to eat and we sit at the table. Rio and my parents are talking and my brother is telling me everything that has happened since I last saw him.

My brother is nine years old now and he’s bigger since the last time I saw him, so I give him my full attention until we start eating but then I can't keep dragging it all out any longer.

"The reason I came so suddenly is because I want to say goodbye... uh, I'm going to be traveling for a while, Rio and I are going on a road trip across the country, a long trip, so... you know, I might not be back for a long time. Also, I've been thinking about living somewhere else, so we might not be able to see each other for a long time."

Even though I tried to sound completely normal and even happy, my voice started shaking at the end so I ruined the whole good vibe and my family gets sad when they realize I didn't come to say hello but goodbye.

We spend a good time talking and saying goodbye, I tell them all that I love them and I try to stay strong but as soon as we get back to the car my emotions explode and I end up crying... sobbing, really.

Rio puts a hand on my leg as he drives and I can feel how guilty he feels, but I don't really blame him for this. I don't really see him as a man who is going to cause my death, I see him as a magical being who came to bring excitement to my shitty life, he's teaching me things I always wanted to know and being really good to me.

I'm not even scared of dying, I just feel sad right now for lying to my parents, although I'd rather they think I left and forgot about them than think I disappeared and worry that something happened to me. I don't want them to know that I died.