The Blind Luna

chapter 4

Kinsley pov

" I would like to make something clear, " he continues ,"You will address me as alpha Roman . I will not mate with you .You and I are not mates."

The terrible words that come out of the Alpha’s mouth make me flinch. I am at loss for words because I have learned to stay silent until someone speaks to me. I drop my head really low to hide the shame that I feel. I touch my chest to suppress the intense emotions that I'm feeling .I didn't expect to feel this kind of pain. This pain is worse than the beatings and torture I have gone through.

A lone tear starts to drop from my left eye and I wipe it off instantly before he notices that I'm crying . He might not be merciful with me if he discovers how weak i’m.

"I did not plan to have a mate and we are going to keep this as formal as possible,"he continues in his deep baritone voice.

I don't answer back because I'm not sure if it will be right to say anything or if I'm even permitted to.I don't understand how formal this should be . I'm blind and I have lived almost all my life in the basement. I have had little human interactions so I certainly have no idea how to do this with him.

“I will address you as Luna and you will receive special training in a few weeks,” he adds.

"Special training?"I whisper to myself as I question what that's supposed to be .

"Yes ,"his voice startles me and I almost crawl in fear,"we can't have a weak luna can we ?"

The question is hurtful but it reminds me of how weak and useless I’m . I know that I won't be a good fit for a strong Luna even if I have some kind of special training. Im surprised that Alpha Roman isn't rejecting me at all.Is this what mating feels like ? Is this my life now ?

As usual I just keep quiet and wait for him to say something but he doesn't say anything so we ride in silence . The car jerks and makes a stop just before I close my eyes. I think we have arrived at his pack .

"We are still an hour ahead Kinsley. So we are here by the gas station to get some food . What do you want ?"he asks me in a montone and flat voice.

My mind starts to spin as I think of what I should eat .I have never been given the decision to eat what I want to eat and now I'm already getting anxious because I know if I don't speak now, Alpha Roman will be angry me . My chest starts to heave as I start panic. My breathing rapidly increase as the choices in my head spin.

"If you don't want to eat ,"he states blankly,"I will get you some soda ,"

I don't respond because I'm too scared to upset him .I'm good with soda or even just water. I don't even know what soda is. I also don't want him to change his mind about giving me anything to eat.

"Kingsley?"he calls my name with slight irritation. I realize that I have spent too long thinking and he is actually waiting for me to answer.

"Yes just Soda will do ,"I whisper after clearing my throat.

He doesn't respond to that but I feel his slight irritation through his scent .It's strong and he is not trying to do his best to conceal it . Even though I'm visually impaired I can still detect scent very strongly and I feel emotions easily from people than another normal person.

When he comes back he hands me the soda quickly and starts the car without saying.I open the bottle and a sweet scent emerges from me .I slowly take a sip and the taste of the fizzy drink blows my mind . I continue to take it slowly to savour the taste . I don't know how this new pack will treat me and this might be the last and first nice thing I might have today .

After hours of driving in silence. We finally arrive at the pack house .I don't notice or feel anything until Alpha Roman opens the door quickly allowing a blast of wind to hit my face.

"We are here,"he says in a flat time .

He grunts silently as I sit quietly and wait patiently .I don't know what to do or where I should go so I just lower my head in submission. The next thing he does is grab my hand gently. I can't help feel the butterflies that erupt in my tummy as his rough and calloused hand brushes against my palm.

"Can you stand up ?"he asks me in a rough voice.

"Yes ," I nod my head and stand up slowly from the car seat. My body is shaking as I try to stand up . I'm still holding onto the soda that he gave me . I don't know if it's right to leave it here.

"Gave me that bottle ,"he demands in a dominating voice that leaves no room for discussion.

I oblige quickly and gave him the bottle . I try not to hold on to his arm for fear that he might let it go, but it's warm and comforting and I don't really want to let go of him. It seems like there is no one around the pack house making any sound.

"All the pack members are out for a group run . I will let you meet them later ," he speaks .

"I would have organised a tour for you but of course it can't be done ,"he continues as he tightens his hold on my hand .

I drop my head in realization of how horrible it feels to have a mate like me. I'm sure he feels regret and torment. If only he could reject me.