Ashes of desire

Chapter 12

The alarm buzzed faintly against the nightstand, but I was already awake. Jenny’s side of the room was empty, her bed neatly made. I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes.

Jenny came back in just then, fully dressed, her bag over one shoulder.

“You’re up,” Jenny said casually, picking up a book from her desk. “Good. Don’t be late today.”

I nodded, pulling the covers off my legs.

Jenny hesitated, then glanced at me with a look that was neither cold nor playful. “Rue… I meant what I said last night. Just… don’t let yourself get carried away, okay?”

I paused, then gave a small nod. “I won’t.”

Jenny smiled faintly, satisfied, and left the room.

I sat still for a moment longer, feeling that odd mix of guilt and stubbornness twisting in my chest.

By the time I got to lecture hall, the usual chatter of classmates had filled the air.

“Rue! Over here!” one of my classmates, liz , waved from the second row.

I slid into the seat beside her, offering a polite smile.

“You look… suspiciously happy this morning,” teased, bumping my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the small grin tugging at my lips. “I just slept well, that’s all.”

Liz raised an eyebrow. “Hmm. Must have been some dream.”

Jenny, seated just ahead of us, glanced back briefly at me but said nothing.

The lecture began, and I found myself taking notes more steadily than usual. The weight I’d felt last night had lightened, not gone, but softer, like a background hum.

When the first class ended, I stayed behind for a moment, scrolling through my phone.

A new message blinked at the top of my screen.

Jordan: I can still see the look on your face last night.

My stomach flipped. I glanced around to make sure Jenny wasn’t watching, then typed quickly.

Rue: Stop reminding me

Almost immediately, the typing bubbles appeared.

Jordan: Not a chance. I like knowing I can make you blush even through text.

I bit my lip, feeling warmth creep up my neck.

Rue: You’re impossible.

Jordan: And you like me that way.

I smiled, tucking the phone against my chest for a second before replying with a soft, “maybe.”

Jenny appeared beside me, startling me

“Who’s making you smile like that?” Jenny asked, leaning over curiously.

“No one,” I said quickly, locking my screen. “Just a meme someone posted.”

Jenny gave her a long, knowing look. “Right, A meme. Sure.”

I ignored her and shoved my phone into my bag.

Afternoon passed in a blur of campus life. I walked with Jenny to the cafeteria, joined a few friends at an outdoor table, and tried to keep my mind from wandering, but Jordan kept sneaking into my thoughts anyway.

At one point, crossing the courtyard, I caught sight of him. He was standing near the basketball court with a few other final-year students, his sleeves rolled up, his hand casually in his pocket.

Our eyes met across the distance.

Jordan’s lips curved in the faintest smirk, as if only me existed in that moment. My breath caught.

Jenny nudged my shoulder. “You okay?”

“Y…yeah,” I said quickly, looking away. My heart was thudding so loudly I was sure Jenny could hear it.

Jordan didn’t come over, didn’t call out, just kept watching until I disappeared behind the building.

Back in the room that night, Jenny was already asleep, headphones in. I lay on my back, the room quiet except for the faint hum of the fan.

My phone buzzed.

Jordan: Still awake?

Me: Barely. Today was long.

Jordan: Good. Means you won’t overthink this text.

Me: Overthink what?

Jordan: That I miss you already.

My cheeks warmed in the dark. I pulled the blanket up to my chin.

Me: You just saw me today.

Jordan: Exactly. And I still miss you.

I couldn’t help it I smiled, a quiet, secret smile that belonged only to me and him.

Jordan: Sleep, Rue. Tomorrow is a new day.

Me:“I can't anymore, i need your voice to help me do that”

Jordan: call or voice note

Me: a silent video call because Jenny is barely asleep so we can't talk and i need to see you again.

Jordan: just manage the voice note i don't want to turn on the light either

Me: okay, voice note it is.

He sent me a 30 secs voice note that put me to bed immediately.

I set my phone on the pillow beside me, whispering softly into the darkness. “Tomorrow is a new day.”