I want to think I did anything but sulk all weekend, but I didn’t. After dropping Lo off at the bus stop on Saturday morning, I went back home and didn’t do much else. I went over what happened between us in the last couple of weeks on a loop, wondering if this is even a good idea. If trying to be friendly to each other, but nothing more than that, is going to work. I feel like I broke into a thousand pieces, and it took me all weekend to get myself into some shape that resembles me, the me I’ve been for years. To be able to face the world again.
I do feel like I deserve some praise for not drowning myself in booze, for getting through this with a clear head, but that would be empty praise because not harming myself shouldn’t be harder than keeping myself protected. But it’s not been easy
