Divided

Chapter 2: Silence

I tried to open my eyes, but my head throbbed, so I decided against it. Every bone in my body ached, so I didn't dare move. I just lay there, in a strange bed with strange smells filling my nose. I have forgotten how comfortable it was to lay on something soft. I didn't own a bed, because she doesn't need one. f**k. Is it me or her? I moved my arm slowly, and I could feel a low groan rumbling from my throat. I rested it on my chest. My chest. Even though I only felt ribs, I was relieved. For a change it was me in the light, and not her. God knows how long she's been in control. I ignored the pain and stretched my toes as far as I could, throwing my arms above my head. It felt like I was kept in fetal position for years, and finally I was granted the opportunity to stretch my bones and muscles. It was painful as hell, but glorious, and I couldn't help but smile.

A dull thud next to me, snapped me out of my blissful pain, and my eyes shot open in alarm. I stared right into a steaming cup that was placed on the bedside table next to me. I looked up, and above me, standing way too close, was a dark figure. My heart started to beat furiously and my chest tightened, so I closed my eyes and waited.

"Hi there." The voice came, soft and cautious. "I'm Ryan." He whispered, and I could smell the faint trace of bacon on his breath, "Please don't be afraid."

I was. So I kept my eyes closed and remain still. I waited. A long silence followed, then the man sat down on the bed and I felt my heart rate shoot through the roof. So I waited some more, because I knew it would happen any time now.

"Hey." He brushed his hand over my hair and I could feel the anger boiling in the pit of my stomach. So I kept waiting. I knew that at any moment she would show herself, and then we'll be on the run again.

But nothing happened.

I felt the weight on the bed lift, "I made you some tea. I know it's still early, but I was afraid that you'll wake up in a panic when you found yourself in a strange place, with nothing on but a shirt."

I move my hand downwards and realized that he was right. I was completely naked except for the over sized shirt. He must have seen me feeling around because he quickly added, "I also brought you a fresh set of clothes, I hope it fits. Jack told me you were quite small in comparison to your wolf, and quite.." He stopped himself, not finishing his sentence. I opened my eyes, but still couldn't see anything more than his silhouette. "Please don't take offence, I know girls don't.." He stopped again, and after a pause seemed to gain his composure, "If you are done getting dressed, you should come to the kitchen and grab something to eat." Then he awkwardly backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I felt around the end of the bed, and found a pair of sneakers with a neatly folded pile of clothes under it. I got dressed as quick as my aches and bruises allowed me, and was pleased to find that the clothes covered most of my body. The shirt was tight, but the jeans fit comfortably. I slipped on the shoes and felt that it was one size to small, so I left it on the bed. I was more used to being barefoot anyway.

Voices from outside made me peer out of the window. It was still dark outside, but I counted six men walking away from the house, talking and laughing as the went. I pulled myself off the bed and instantly felt lightheaded, so I sat back down for a moment. You only took care of yourself, didn't you? How long have I been under? No answer. I'm talking to you! Still nothing.

I opened the door and behind it was a long hallway consisting of six other doors. The annoying scent that was all over the room mixed with several more, and it made my head spin. It was overwhelming and I could feel the hair at the back of my neck raising. The last time I smelled so many scents at once was when I was with the pack. I clenched my fists. We're in a pack house. What have you done?! I yelled, but my voice bounced against the empty walls of my mind and found no answer. Where are you? Nothing. Answer me, I can't get us out alone. As I said it, my inner voice was filled with panic, but I couldn't help but find a sense of relief in her absence.

Since I can remember her voice was in my head. I was never alone. We were always together. If there was a time where we coexisted peacefully, I can't recall it, because it was most likely overshadowed by the times we didn't. It was always a fight. Without my mom around, she took the role of older sibling. She fought me at every turn and every decision – reasoning that she knew best. The inner conflict between us, lead to me growing up as a troubled teen, bouncing from one foster home to the next. Which wasn't all that bad, up to the time when she started to show herself. Then she became more prominent, more dominant, and eventually she took control. As we grew older I shifted into the background a little more each year, until almost all of my decisions were made by her. I did what she wanted, obeyed her, because that's how we got by. I must hand it to her though, I don't think we would have survived for as long as we have, if it weren't for her.

Get out, I felt a hoarse voice echo inside my head. She felt far away and sounded as weak as I felt. By myself? I asked softly, but she was quiet again. The door in front of me swung open and I found myself staring at the back of a man. He was laughing and I heard the familiar voice of earlier – Ryan - I think. A grayish haired man with friendly eyes, peered over the broad shoulders that blocked the doorway, and locked with mine.

"Ah, she's alive." Ryan said, ending the conversation between them. It made the guy in the doorway turn around. He was tall and had a very serious, but likable face. He was well built but it was clear that he enjoyed his food. Ah... Food. f**k! I would kill for a decent meal. Let's stay 'till after breakfast. I proposed and gathered from her silence that she agreed.

"Hi there." He greeted, holding out his hand as he stepped forward. I couldn't help but take a step back. I knew I was too weak to even think of taking on someone like him. Not even to mention the fact that I was clearly on my own, and couldn't depend on the beast within, to defend me. So cowering it was. It made him stop in his tracks and snatch his hand back. "Please," he said apologetically, "no one means you harm."

"Says the most scary looking man in the house." Ryan slapped him on the shoulder and pushed past him. "This is Jack, our Alpha." Jack reached out his hand again. This time a bit slower, but let it fall when I didn't return the gesture.

"Right." He snapped, and walked down the hall, "Breakfast it is." Ryan gestured for me to follow, and then he fell in behind me. I realized I walked with a bad limp, which made me instantly self-conscious thinking about how weak I must appear. But If Ryan noticed, he didn't mention anything.

As we walked down the hall, he gave me a quick tour, indicating the showers and bathroom, as well as who slept where. I tried to focus, and take note of possible exits, but the smell coming from the kitchen was too distracting. When we entered the lively room, there were two guys hurriedly bouncing around as they prepared breakfast. Spit gathered in my mouth, and my stomach rumbled desperately. First one, then the other, stopped and turned around to stared at me. I could feel the heat rushing to my face, causing my ears to burn. All the attention was focused on me and judging from their expressions, I figured that I might look worse than I feel.

"Forgive them," Ryan touched my shoulder and I flinched, "they are not used to ladies in the barracks. The rest of the pack is at the main camp about a mile that way." He pointed into the direction that I saw the men walking earlier. "Everyone goes there for breakfast, lunch and dinner, except the guys who run this place."

"And you." Jack added from the corner, holding a piece of toast in his hand. He was scrutinizing me, with serious dark eyes. Unfriendly eyes. "For now." He added a bit lighter, diverting his eyes as he took a bite.

"Come, get yourself something to eat." I eagerly limped over to Ryan, all the while feeling Jack's eyes following my every move. He doesn't trust us. No reply. I guess I wouldn't either.

Once my plate was filled with toast, tomatoes, sausages and a steaming pile off eggs, I made my way to the table. I chose a spot where I was hidden from the rest, especially Jack, and started gulping down as much, as quickly as I could. I felt a low satisfied growl in my mind and got goose bumps as a result. It was comforting to hear her. I didn't dare stop until my plate was empty, and my stomach damn near bursting. When the rest joined I sat there with an empty plate. A smile played at the corners of Ryan's mouth as he sat down next to me. "Seconds?" He asked, smiling, as he handed me a glass of orange juice. His grey brows raised while eyeing my empty plate. Jack followed behind him and sat at the head of the table, his eyes met mine for an instant, but then focused on the rest of the men, and inquired about the day's schedule.

Should I stay at the table to hear what they had to say? Now that my stomach was full, the impact of my situation dawned on me. I felt fear and anger. They were my own emotions, and not hers. I am in definitely in danger. These people stalked, chased and kidnapped us. Their intentions can't be good.

"This is the girl from last night." Jack announced to the others with a mouthful, while nudging his head in my direction. "This is Pete and Tom." He indicated with his fork to a round friendly face and then pointed at a boy, not older than eighteen. The boy nodded and Pete smiled at me with a piece of egg in his beard.

"Where're you from, girl?" Pete asked as an attempt to break the silence, but instead it just grew bigger. "It's okay." He smiled after a couple of seconds and waved his hand, "You take your time. We'll have a nice chat some other day. Right now, I need to go feed the horses. And you're coming with." He slapped Tom on his back, and left the table.

"What's your name?" Tom tried, and once again the room fell silent when I drank the rest of the juice instead of answering his question.

"Tom! Would you hurry up?" Pete shouted impatiently from the kitchen, "I asked you to look at the horses' hooves two weeks ago, and you still haven't. So today it will be the first think you do." Tom sighed and got up from the table with a plate half full.

"If you feel up to it, I'll show you around the ranch after were done. Bedburg is a safe haven for everyone who means us no harm." Ryan pitched, and I decided that he was talking s**t about the 'safe haven' part – because it doesn't exist.

"You're lucky we caught up to you before the UAC did." Jack added, just as I was about to get up.

The UAC? My head swirled as my mind started to race. Memories of years ago flashed before me, and I felt nauseous. If they were on my trail, it meant Killian would be as well. You failed, I whispered to her icily, expecting a cheeky reply - hoping for an explanation. But neither came. I need to figure out what to do. And what was up with her? It's impossible to think with Jack's piercing glare, and Ryan sitting so close to me. I needed space, and air. So I ignored both and got up, taking my plate to the kitchen. I was very tempted to take another piece of toast to settle my stomach, but decided against it and limped away to the room I woke up in.

***

"She looks like trouble." I stated, as I pushed the plate forward and grabbed my coffee. Something's off, I can almost smell it."

"You have literally only dealt with her on two separate occasions, don't you think your judgment is a bit premature?" He took his plate and I handed him mine as well. "She's been out there on her own, for who knows how long? I think it's quite understandable for her to be a bit strange."

"I think we need to make it very clear to her, that she is free to leave at any time." I followed him into the kitchen taking our cups.

"We will offer her the same choice we do to every loner." Ryan turned towards me. He was willing to protect this stranger. Which shouldn't come as a surprise, because that's who he was. Ryan - my most trusted friend and second in command of the Bedburg pack.

"I just can't help feeling an overwhelming sense of uneasiness when she's around." I admitted, "Maybe it's best if we cut this one loose?"

"Is it because of her wolf?" He lifted his eyebrow. The image of the breathtakingly huge creature I faced last night, popped into my head. Her wild eyes and shabby fur, the ferocity in her stance and the saliva dripping from her teeth. I just couldn't piece that image together with the small fragile body I had cradled in my arms on the way back. Scrawny and cold. Weak.

And that was the thing that bothered me most - the contrast between the daunting beast and the girl who can't even manage to make eye contact. "Of course not." I lied, "But that reminds me, we have to give her some suppressors while she's staying here."

"You must be kidding." Ryan said astonished. "She has not given us any reason to do that. And besides, what kind of hosts would we be, if we numb her wolf?"

"The cautious kind."

"Would you lay off?" He insisted, "I'll admit that she is bigger than any female I've ever seen. But that is it. She didn't fight us, or tried to rip someone's throat out. She tried to flee." He cleared his throat, "I could think of a couple of other wolves that gave us a lot more hassle than she did."

"Fine." I gave in and roughly handed him the cups, "But under no circumstance is she allowed at the house. The pack's safety comes first, like always. She doesn't even come close to it. Is that clear?"

"Of course." He closed his eyes and dipped his head, which made me relax a bit. "I will take full responsibility for her."

"Get her to open her mouth and speak." I walked towards the backdoor, knowing that I had to tie up with Tanya. I stayed over at the barracks last night, and she's not used to it. "I need to go."

"Send Phil over, would you?" I nodded, then jogged off to the main house.