In Memory of Reed Fray

Fifteen

Viola watched the passing scenery on the window. Reed was quietly driving and she didn’t want to speak to him because she was annoyed since he wouldn’t tell her where they were going. When she would glanced up at him, he’d have this smirk on his face and it annoyed her so much she had to refrain herself from smacking his head.

Finally he stopped and Viola turned to him, “Now are you gonna tell me where we are?”

“We’re at Nana Fray’s nursing home,” he answered and Viola looked at the wide green pasture and the cozy building.

Viola felt her stomach drop. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend her Saturday afternoon with old people. She’d really want to have a grandparent. She lost her two sets of those. Her Mom’s parents died a year apart and she never met her Dad’s mother. Her Gramps died when she was nine.

“Reed, didn’t I tell you-,”

“I know what you said, Viola,” he replied. Viola sighed and looked at him. He knew what she said so what was he doing? Ever since he had confessed and their friendship turned to a different angle, he’d been asking her to meet his family which she blatantly refused, “I know you don’t want to define whatever we have.”

“And bringing me to meet your family?”

“Technically it’s just my grandmother.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, how can he still be so cheeky? “Still, Reed. She’s still family. I don’t want her to think that we’re in a relationship when we’re not. I don’t want to lie to her.”

He exhaled loudly, one hand took hers and the other tilted her chin to meet his grey eyes, “Listen, Viola. Remember how you once asked me to come with you to church that Sunday morning and I refused?”

Viola remembered that day. She’d been disappointed ever if she didn’t want to admit it. She’d been so used to having Reed’s presence even if she didn’t need it and when he refused, it was like, well, disappointing. And she’d been spending her Sunday masses alone for so long that she wanted to spend it with someone again. Barbara once accompanied her but it wasn’t really her thing and Viola didn’t want to ask too much from her. She and Pete had been providing shelter and food for her, she didn’t want to push further.

“How is that connected with this?”

“I spend my Sunday mornings with Nana to accompany her to church,” he said softly.

Viola felt her heart melt and she suddenly felt stupid for being disappointed at him. Reed caressed her knuckles with his thumb, “After the mass we’d have breakfast together. Sometimes I bring Willow or Sophia but only occasionally. They hate waking up early on a weekend. Anyway, when me and Nana eat breakfast, she makes me tell everything that happened at school for the past week. I couldn’t stop myself from bringing you up.”

“Reed,” she started and looked at him, “You shouldn’t have talked about me.”

“You’re the girl I love,” he said, his voice so soft and smooth, it was like velvet and she couldn’t help but swoon, “If you’d just let me scream at the top of the mountains to let everyone know how I feel about you, I would.”

Sometimes Viola wondered how He still blessed her with Reed. She did bad things, made bad choices and she was the reason why everyone she ever loved got hurt and evidently died because of her stupidity. But looking at Reed Fray, he was like the rewarding ice cream after running through a hot afternoon.

He motioned for both of them to get out of the car and they entered the building then. They arrived at the lounge room where about 10 oldies were chatting with each other, knitting, playing chess or cards or watching TV, “Your grandmother’s outside, Reed. She said you were coming by to have tea with her. And that you brought someone along. My, is she lovely.”

Viola looked down and blushed. She really wasn’t good at accepting compliments, even in her previous life in California. Reed chuckled and squeezed her hand, “I’m a lucky guy.”

To be honest, between the two of them, she was luckier. They sauntered to the back door and Viola was surprised to see a lake. An old lady was looking at it with a satisfied smile on her face and she was sitting at a picnic table. Reed kissed her cheek and wrapped her in a hug, “Nana, this is Viola.”

Nana Fray had the same striking grey eyes as Reed. She was beautiful for an old lady and she must’ve been gorgeous in her youth, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Good things I hope,” Viola said quietly and the old lady smiled and squeezed her hand. They were given their tea and Reed poured them their portion. Reed and Nana Fray chatted and Nana Fray would occasionally ask Viola about some things, to get her to join into the conversation. And then an old guy asked Reed for help and he excused himself from them.

“You’re certainly not the Viola I pictured out to be,” Nana Fray stated and Viola looked down, knowing that she made a bad impression, “You’re even better. I’m glad Reed found someone like you to love. He’s lucky.”

“Nana Fray, can I call you that?” she asked softly and when the older lady nodded, she continued, “I’m the one lucky to have him. It’s not the other way around.”

“You say you’re lucky but you don’t want to define whatever you have,” she mused, “I respect your wishes, dear. But piece of advice from a woman who married a Fray and raised two sons and watched them charm dozens of ladies before settling down to their wives.”

Viola looked at her and felt warmth spread through her as Nana Fray was smiling up at her, “You don’t have to be so scared, dear. I know it can be terrifying but wouldn’t it be more scary if you took the challenge without him by your side?”

Viola stared at Toby’s limp body on the hospital bed. He was connected to too many wires and Viola didn’t like it one bit. She took hold of his cold hand. She hated the feeling of it against her skin. It made her remember Colton Tyler, the first victim. She was relieved that he was alive, even if he broke her heart, a broken heart was still better than the blood of someone in her hands.

“You must be Clary.”

Viola looked up at the voice and she was met by Toby’s brother’s brown eyes. He tilted his head to the side and studied her carefully for a moment and then flashed her a toothy smile, “I’m Edward.”

He sat on the couch and glanced at his brother, “I wonder when Bee would wake up.”

Bee. The nickname made Viola smile. It was cute and silly and she never expected it from brothers but what did she know? She didn’t have any sibling. The closest thing she had to that was Nathan and they used to just see each other on summers and Thanksgiving. She had always wondered how it felt to have sibling, to have someone to fight over with the attention of their parents or just simply someone to play with.

“He told me a lot about you,” Edward stated and then Viola nodded, letting him continue, “He said you were pretty. He’s wrong though, you’re more than pretty. You’re like, super pretty!”

The enthusiasm in his voice made Viola giggle, “Well, thanks.”

Edward turned back to look at his brother and then back at Viola, “Bee told me he liked you.”

Viola felt her heart sank, “He did?”

Edward nodded, “Yes. He said he liked you for a long time. I told him that it wasn’t possible. He just met you. But he told me you were in California before.”

“Wow. You and Toby seem,” Viola was lost for words, she didn’t want to say anything rude, “Close.”

Edward just smiled, “And then one night Toby came home really sad. I asked him what’s wrong. He told me you told him you liked someone else.”

She didn’t know what to say because she couldn’t decipher what Edward was trying to say. Could it be possible that this kid was angry at her for breaking his brother’s heart? That he was blaming her for what happened to Toby? But why can’t he? Because it was the truth, she did do all those things. It’s just that, the fact that someone really is blaming her; it made it more real.

“But he’s not mad at you. I’m not either,” the kid said, looking up at her with his big hazel eyes, “Mom always told us that even if people hurt you really bad, you shouldn’t be angry at them. Because it wouldn’t even anything out. You’ll just be as bad as them.”

Viola bit her lip. But before she could even say anything, Edward continued, “Toby told me that he wished that it was him that you loved. And not the other guy. Because the other guy’s not here. I don’t understand it.”

She was about to reply to him but someone else beat her to it, “You shouldn’t interrogate your brother’s friend, Eddie.”

When Viola looked up, she was met by eyes so identical to Toby’s. The older woman smiled kindly at her, “Melissa Bennett. It’s nice to meet the girl my son doesn’t shut up about. Even when we were in California.”

Viola glanced at Toby. Why was he such a blabbermouth? And how much had he told his mother and brother about her, “Don’t worry, sweetie. He told us all good things about you. Well, with the sad details as to why you’re here. And about that boy, Reed Fray. I read about his death in the newspaper. Such a loss.”

“Did he also tell you about,” She didn’t need to finish her sentence because Melissa seemed to understand.

“He did. And I told him not to be that hurt or sad or angry about it. We can’t really control our hearts when it comes to love,” Melissa said softly and then took hold of both Viola’s hand, “Sometimes the heart has her own say on matters. But sometimes, you’re strong enough to say something against it if you really want to.”

Yet again, Viola was loss for words. She didn’t really know what to say. Melissa laughed softly at her speechless reaction, “Eddie and I are going to the cafeteria. You don’t mind watching over Toby for a little while?”

Viola smiled and shook her head, “I don’t mind.”

When Melissa and Eddie left, Viola looked at Toby. Despite the bruises on his face and the scars, he looked handsome. He wasn’t as striking as Colton, or charming as Damien, or as gorgeous as Reed but Tobias Dorscher was adorable and handsome in his own way. He could’ve had any girl if he wanted to. Behind the bad boy persona he carried now, or the adorable nerd he used to be, there was a guy who was willing to love a girl the way she should be love.

“You’re Mom has a point,” she said softly, “If only we could control our hearts in who to love. Then I maybe I would’ve loved you and not Reed who’s not here anymore. There are times we can have a say against it but the thing is, it has to be something you think you deserve. Thank you for the love that you’re offering, but it’s not the love that I deserve.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, letting the tears fall, “For what happened to you. It’s my entire fault. If I just didn’t let you take me out that night. This wouldn’t have happened. I was warned, Toby. Yet even after everything that happened, I was still too thick-headed and too soft-hearted to listen to it. And now look at what happened to you.”

The images of her fallen father, Colton limped and unmoving, Damien taken to rehab, and Reed Fray in that coffin. She didn’t want Toby to end up with the same fate. She didn’t want him scarred for life, or worse, dead. None of the victims deserved to have that fate and she would do everything in her power to save Toby.

She didn’t understand the sick, twisted mind of the killer. Why he was after her and calling her by her mother’s name or why he was killing the men in her life. Viola knew that she always needed the answers but when her father died and when everyone told her the killer was dead, she believed it. And when Reed died, she didn’t want to believe that the killer was back. But the notes started again and with what happened to Toby, Viola felt this thirst for the answers again.

She looked at Toby, “We’ll find him, Toby. And if it comes to it, I’ll kill him. For what’s it worth, for everything he did. I will find him and kill him myself if I have to.”

“I’ve had a crush on you since seventh’s grade,” he whispered and then let go of her arms and ran a hand on his hair in frustration, “But I knew you would never notice nerdy little Tobias. But when those jocks bullied me, you stood up for me and it felt amazing. For my long time crush to do that, it was better than you noticing me.”

Viola bit her lip and felt a pang. The physical pain that Toby was feeling, Viola had an answer for that perhaps a cure even and the hospital and pain killers can help too. But the pain that Viola had caused? The one that ran deeper and the one that no amount of medicine or therapy can remedy it.

She ran a hand through his dark hair, “In another life, in an alternate universe, we might’ve fallen in love. But in this life time, Toby, the heart chooses what the heart wants. And my heart chose to love Reed Fray.”