In Memory of Reed Fray

Eleven

Ever since Viola’s talk with Skylar and Tori, something changed inside of her. She told Reed the same amount of the story and it felt so right, to share the burden to someone who, at the end of her story, didn’t tell her how stupid she had been. The way Reed Fray had understood her was so refreshing, it was such blissful relief to know that someone in some way managed to understand her, even with how ugly her burden had been.

With Tori and Skylar, it wasn’t the same thing. Well, maybe with Tori because the girl had been so comforting but Viola felt suffocated with the pity she seemed to radiate. And then there was Skylar. She doesn’t understand if he was judging her or maybe he was blaming her for his brother’s death. After they realized that the killer only killed the guys in her life, it seemed as though Skylar couldn’t look at her the same way. It was like because of her stupidity in the past, how she didn’t push further what she knew, how her stupidity won yet again for believing that the killer was killed which resulted in his brother’s death.

She hadn’t voiced out her thoughts to anyone. Even to Mr. Carson. And speaking of him, he was not please how she skipped some of her sessions to hang out with Tori and talk about what they should do or to just be alone and to think. He kept telling her that he could see that something was bothering her and that she should speak about it.

Groaning and rubbing her face in frustration, she couldn’t help but wish that she didn’t have the life she led. She wished her parents weren’t dead, that there was no killer hell-bent on killing the guys who came to her life. But most of all, she wished Reed wasn’t dead too. Because if he was here, there would be someone who’ll make her smile, make all the worries go away with a touch.

“I wonder why you don’t have wrinkles yet, with all the frowning you do.”

Viola looked up and Reed was beaming at her, his grey eyes twinkling under the sun, “There aren’t a lot of things to smile about.”

Reed sat beside her and bumped her shoulders with hers, “This again? How many times have we had this talk about how beautiful life is?”’

Viola felt a smile rise up on her face but she refrained from it, “Until it gets in my head.”

He laughed, the sound deep and masculine, “Sometimes I worry about you Viola.”

“Sometimes?” she asked, turning to him, an eyebrow raised, the smile she tried to refrain sneaking back up again.

Reed stared at her for a moment. Her dark brown hair fell perfectly pass her shoulders, with that kind of wavy style that most girls at school would have to do for hours but hers fell so naturally. Her nose straight and perfect, her lips thin and inviting and then her blue eyes. It always looked so sad and distant but the twinkling hint of happiness was there and he rarely saw it. How can someone so beautiful have lived through such tragedy?

“Don’t stare at me like that,” she whispered. And all Reed wanted to say was that he couldn’t help himself, that he was so drawn to her, like the moth to the flame, like the lion to the lamb, like Edward was to Bella.

Don’t fall for the damsel in distress.

He exhaled loudly for a moment. How can he keep that promise when he was already falling headfirst? He smiled at her, “There was just something on your face, don’t flatter yourself.”

A smile crept up on her face, “Jerk.”

He mock gasped, “What?”

Viola laughed, the sound so soft and sweet, “For that, you owe me a smoothie.”

Reed narrowed his eyes at her playfully, “You’re using me for my money.”

Viola stood up and extended a hand to him and he took it and she pulled him up. She c****d her head to the side and grinned cheekily, “Well, you have to come in handy for me sometimes.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Viola looked up and saw Toby. His black hair had been cut short since the last time she saw him and it made his brown eyes more noticeable, “Hey.”

She was about to stand up and tell him that she had somewhere to be. She had been avoiding him for so long ever since Skylar said that the killer might be after the guys in her life. Even Skylar was keeping distance, relying on Tori to tell him updates. And both of them made Viola swear that she’d stay away from Toby, for his sake.

“Look, Toby, I forgot I have to go meet my Mom-,”

“Why are you avoiding me?” he said bluntly and Viola hated it. It was plain as day that he was upset with what she was doing but she couldn’t even explain it to him. Yet again, the three of them had agreed that it was better if no one else knew.’

“I’m not avoiding you,” she started to reason out, “I’ve been busy.”

“Having coffee with Tori?” he asked, “I’ve seen you guys around. You’re practically inseparable and I don’t get it. Seems like after that ferret incident, you clung to her. And I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. But I just wished you didn’t forget that you actually had another friend.”

He looked so upset that it sent a throb in Viola’s chest. Toby had been a good friend to her and she was pushing him away. She would’ve told him everything, she knew that she could trust him but Skylar said that the right thing to do was to keep him in the shadows and avoid him until they found the killer.

Viola had no idea what to say. She couldn’t tell him the truth and she couldn’t just avoid him without any reason either, “I don’t, I’m sorry. But I just, I don’t think we should continue to be friends.”

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, “Did I do something wrong?”

“You remind me too much of the past,” that was the only answer Viola could give him.

“Then fine,” Toby grumbled but there was a glint in his eyes, “But spend today with me. Before I agree with you, that’s my condition.”

“I didn’t ask for your say.”

“Then you don’t have a choice,” Toby stated. He took her by the wrist and dragged her out of the school. She kept pulling herself free but Toby had more than six pounds against her. They got to his car and he strapped her in, before buckling in himself.

“This is kidnapping,” Viola said, glaring at him.

Toby flashed her a charming smile, “At least you have a cute kidnapper.”

She didn’t speak for the rest of the ride but she was aware that they weren’t in town anymore. Toby had just driven by the town’s sign. She wanted to ask him but she was too pissed off at him to talk to him. About an hour later, he finally parked and all Viola could see was a ship.

“Where are we?” she finally asked.

“Tillicum Village,” Toby answered, “You’re stuck with me for the next four hours. Now let’s go.”

Toby paid for the both of them and they boarded the ship. Viola still refused to talk to him but she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t excited. Reed had always said he wanted to take her out on a date in Tillicum Village but it never happened. She didn’t want to think of this as a date with Toby because she doesn’t view him as she had with Reed.

When they finally arrived at Blake Island, they were greeted by steamed clams and sweet, savoury nectar. Viola didn’t realize how hungry she was when she saw the sight of food, “I hope this makes it up for me pulling you out of lunch.”

She turned to look at Toby. She wanted to stay mad at him but how can you stay mad at someone when they weren’t doing anything wrong, “Don’t worry. I’m not mad.”

“Good because I did not just spend half of my allowance on nothing.”

They enjoyed everything Blake Island offered. The salmon was too die for and Viola was so sure she had never tasted anything like it. She had to admit, this was by far the most fun she’s had since Reed’s passing. She looked up at Toby and was surprised to see that he was already looking at her.

He pointed his thumb to the exit. Viola hesitated, she wanted to stay but Toby looked like he had something to say or maybe he was in a hurry, “Sorry for making you leave it. You seemed so entranced.”

“I was,” she replied, “But you looked like you were going to do something or say something important. Are you?”

Toby’s eyebrows were creased, his eyes were intense, his gaze unwavering and Viola’s mind started to come up with different ideas. She once thought Toby was the killer, even Skylar suspected him since he was new. And now the thought struck her again and cold chill ran through her spine. If he was the killer, and with everyone inside, he could hurt her in a snap.

“You’re afraid,” he murmured and his eyes narrowed, “What’s wrong?”

Viola tried to compose herself. She wasn’t sure if he was the killer, “What do you want?”

Toby closed his eyes for a moment. And then he took her hand, “I want to clear things up.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

He exhaled loudly, “I don’t understand why you don’t want to be friends.”

Relief spread throughout Viola’s body and her mind cleared of any negative thoughts. But she didn’t know what to tell him except for what she said earlier, “I told you, Toby.”

He shook his head and ran a hand through his short hair, “I remind you of your past? Of those kids at Westview High? How can I remind you of your past when you didn’t even realize who I was until I told you?”

Viola mentally cursed herself for not thinking about that. She could reason out with him but she knew that he would just push further for the real answer, “Okay. Fine. That’s not the real answer. But I can’t tell you.”

“Why?” he asked, his jaw clenched.

Viola sighed, “Toby, I’m sorry. But there are things that are better off untold.”

They were both quiet for a moment and they both gazed at the distance. The sun wasn’t way up as it had been in the morning. It was starting its slow descend, “I can’t.”

Viola looked at Toby. His eyes were still focused at the distance, “What?”

“I can’t stay away from you,” he said and then inhaled deeply before turning to her again, “Even if you’ll avoid me. I will keep pestering you because I can’t stay away from you.”

“Why?” she asked but her mind was reeling again. He couldn’t stay away? What did he mean by that?

It took Toby longer than a few seconds to answer. He seemed to be hesitating. Viola’s heart rate was faster than normal. What was he gonna say? Finally he turned to her, his brown eyes so intense, the brown almost resembled a dark red that his eyes looked like fire. He gripped Viola’s arm. It was gentle but firm too and as much as Viola wanted to be scared, she couldn’t.

“I’ve had a crush on you since seventh’s grade,” he whispered and then let go of her arms and ran a hand on his hair in frustration, “But I knew you would never notice nerdy little Tobias. But when those jocks bullied me, you stood up for me and it felt amazing. For my long time crush to do that, it was better than you noticing me.”

Viola started to say something but he held up his hand, “And then I had to move. I was so pissed at myself for never introducing myself to you, for never befriending you because I knew you weren’t like the others. You were approachable. But I didn’t and then I moved here and the moment I saw you walk down the hallway with your head hung low, it felt like Christmas. But before I could talk to you, Reed Fray swooped in.”

He looked at Viola and flashed her a smile, “And then we became friends after all those things and now you’re telling me that you want to end that too, the only form of relationship I have with you. So I thought that maybe you should just know about my feelings. But don’t worry. I’m not expecting you to do or say anything about it.”

“Toby,” she started again, but she didn’t really know what to say.

“Like I said. I’m not expecting anything because I know your heart belongs to Reed Fray.”