Malediction

True Colors

Bennie stared into my concerned face. She looked determined to prove her point as I tried to process what she said earlier. I know this may felt wrong but I need to know more.

"What did she do to you that made you hate her so much?" She smiled. Bennie was pleased with my question. I really wanted to avoid this conversation but I want a different point of view if Andrea can't give me one properly.

"So you're finally listening?" She said. I looked away from her smug face. She tried to make contact with my eyes but that was too much for me."Such an aloof one." She sighed after giving up. " If you were as bubbly as that woman, you'll be doing editorial rather than intern work now." I didn't give a damn about what she said. I continued to keep my mouth shut. "Maybe rich people really didn't mind being in the background of everything. You're proof of it all." What was it of me being rich now when I get paid for only this job? Where was she going with this?

I wanted to press her more about this but that wasn't the one I needed to focus on. "Cut to the chase, Bennie. I don't need your comments about my life choices." If it really were my choices.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes, still amused by my tensed expression. "Andrea was just a new writer then and was a year ahead of me. Both of us were on equal grounds since I had the experience of being an article writer from another company. Both of us were credited with our work here...until I wasn't."

"Andrea skyrocketed to fame after covering the Manila hostage news faster than anyone else while I continued to work my ass off by the rules." She struggled to compose her rushing memories that tried to escape her lips. I can hear her get lost in her own thoughts, her focus shifting to her past and not to me. "It was an unfair advantage to break the rule of our job as writers and get away with it. When I tried to do the same, all I got was a memo for not doing what I was supposed to do here, writing." She waited for a response or even an opinion but I only looked out for the door with a glance.

"When she was too busy getting all the gigs, she couldn't comply with the minimum amount of her original work, so I tried to help her. But it wasn't enough, so she stole mine."

"If that was true, then she wouldn't be here right now. She would've been ousted a long time ago." I replied, skeptic of her words as it doesn't align to the present. I expected her to back up, instead she laughed to her heart's content. "She can't be ousted because she's our editor's favorite, James." There were happy tears from her eyes and she wiped them with her hands. I dreaded her next words but she went closer to me, as if to mock me. Bennie whispered to me,"And I've heard things in Boss Rick's closed doors, some of which were Andrea's moans."

My ears burned from the blatant lie I just heard. Yes, a lie. I was with her most of the time and we were always in open doors with Boss Rick. A man like him would never be down that level. "You're just making up things now, Bennie. I've been with her long enough to know that that's bullsh*t."

"Of course, because that's what you only perceived her to be. Do you really know who she was before dating her? Or were you blinded by her pretty eyes just like everybody else?" I hate to admit it, but her persuasion was strong. And most of them may know that I had an accident, but no one but Andrea and Tim knew I lost most of my memories. These kinds of things that Bennie says are what question my mind's credibility the most. Did Andrea hide something from me? Was this why she wasn't talking about it?

I had no strength to ask that kind of thing from her, even if I had to.

____________

I found Tim by Luneta Park at the time when the sun was already high in the sky. He was seated on a bench near the stadium, fumbling with his camera yet again. It took some time before anyone could know where he was. The burly man was invisible when he wanted to.

Sweat was already clinging to my skin despite the breeze passing by. It was a weird feeling. If the jeepney I rode on wasn't a steaming pot in wheels, I wouldn't be in a mess of sweat and continuous perspiration. "You are way too difficult to find."

Tim was surprised to see me. He was expecting no one to see him. " What are you doing here?"

"Just a couple of things to ask." I said as I collected thoughts of the morning's conversation with Bennie. "Like?" He was frowning, not wanting to be disturbed at that time. "It's about Andrea." He really didn't want to continue the conversation yet he just sighed." You traveled a few hours for that rather than just waiting for me to drop by at the office?" He said in disbelief after seeing me. "I just want some peace with this. Bennie's messing with me." My heart's aching. I can't have this ruining Andrea and I. She's the only person holding me together.

"What did she tell you, James?" A voice behind me said. I know who that voice belonged to. It was the one I wanted to hear the moment I woke until dreams took over me at night but it was the first time I wanted to not talk to her. I know that Bennie was lying to my face, turning me against Andrea but what if there was truth to it? I haven't really processed everything to talk to her about it now. Maybe it would have been better if Andrea spoke first, if she didn't hide what actually happened from me.

I turned to her. A familiar sweet floral scent drowned my nose but I held myself back from hugging her. "Petty things against you. It was no big deal. I just wanted to know what happened with Tim. He's our outsider looking from the inside." Her eyes burrowed in concern. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at home resting." I added. Instead of answering me, she retorted with her own question.

"Do you believe her?" She asked straight forward. I shaked my head and smiled at her despite being torn between asking her now or keeping it as it is. I was afraid it was true. I was afraid that someday, she would choose her career over me if the problem arises."James, whatever she told you is only her version of the truth." She said firmly as she reached for my quivering hands. "I will not say that she was lying, but she bends the truth so much it might have hurt you. I'm sorry for that." I held my head down and stared at the ground below me. I let her hold my cut-ridden hands but I wasn't grasping hers. She noticed it. And instead of holding mine tighter, she had let them go. "I see, then I'll see you at home, yes?" She was asking for me to stare at those awfully beautiful bright crystals that were her eyes. This kind of communication we had was important for both of us and was our only way of reaching out when words couldn't interpret how we felt. I couldn't hold back so I did. Satisfied, she kissed me lightly on the lips and walked away. I sighed heavily, thinking that the weight I felt inside my heart would ease as well. It did, but only to a tiny degree.

Tim was still on the bench and just looked at me in pity. "I never really knew what a lover's quarrel really felt like but now I get it just from looking at you." He was sympathetic to me. I sat down beside him. He took out his bag and pulled a fresh shirt and offered it to me. I accepted it and changed right there.

"I never knew you had that many scars on you." He said as he noticed my torso full of it. I shrugged. "I hadn't really thought about it. I just had them as long as I could remember." I replied while flapping my old shirt to dry. "And that was before the island incident, correct?" "Yeah."

"Who in their right mind would do those to you?" He said out of curiosity and unwavered concern to me, like the good friend that he was. "I can't really remember Tim. But I'm sure it wasn't my father." I dropped the subject.

It took a moment before I could open the reason why I came here. We just stared at civilians enjoying the large historical park, resting our minds with the serene picture living before us. "Anyway, did Andrea really steal Bennie's work?" I asked seriously. "Was that your real concern?" Man, this guy really knows me. I laughed. "Just the first question."

"No, Bennie was her paid ghostwriter. It wasn't at first, but she eventually took the job."

I was in shock as I connected the dots. That lying b*tch. A ghostwriter was someone who writes for somebody else's credit. This job was totally fine on legal grounds but for a person starving for recognition, it may seem unfair despite being paid accordingly. "So what is it with her saying Andrea stole her work when she was paid?"

"The editor played her at first, having her assist Andrea in all ways, saying she'll get the same recognition. But as you can see, she had that from her hard work, not from Boss Rick's promise. She anticipated that promise to become a reality for a long time but it never happened." Now I understand where the hatred was from. "And no, there was nothing going on with Andrea and Boss Rick, okay? So get back to her after this." He sounded like a father. " Of course." I replied. "I know she was the one who spread that rumor, but it was actually from an entirely different event." He smiled as he remembered what seemed to be an good memory.

"And if you could remember, Andrea was almost r*ped at the office before. Some j*rk applied for an internship at our company just to get his hands on her. You, her prince charming she just met, saved her." He pointed his finger to me with pride "You beated the hell out of that j*rk like a true man."

"Are you saying that was how we first met?"

" Yeah. It was."