The Amish Heiress

Chapter Nineteen - Surrender

Chapter Nineteen

SurrenderA month after their wedding, Gerald and Rachel flew to Italy for a honeymoon. Rachel wasn’t sure she wanted to go on a long trip with a man she hardly knew and had resisted mightily, but Augusta finally prevailed by suggesting that they needed to keep up appearances for the sake of their position in society. She made light of their “business” relationship as she helped Rachel pack. “It will be relaxing and a lot of fun, my dear. You’ll love the Amalfi Coast. Oh, it’s my favorite place in Europe. Just wait until you see the Bay of Naples and Mt. Vesuvius.”

Rachel had been pleasantly surprised at Gerald’s treatment of her as they traveled. Her first impression of him was that he could be a bit pretentious and somewhat spoiled. But on the trip, she began to like him. He was most solicitous and charming. He wined and dined her, and, as a special surprise, took her on a five-day excursion to Capri.

When they boarded the huge yacht and sailed out onto the deep blue bay, Rachel was swept away by the beauty of her surroundings and by Gerald’s attentive ways. She was drawn to him, infatuated with his good looks and intelligent conversation, and slowly she was pulled into the vortex of a new kind of life—a life with no cares or worries, a life that held endless possibilities, fueled by an unlimited supply of money.

Capri was an experience beyond her wildest dreams. As their yacht sailed into the port, Rachel looked up toward the sky and the great spur of rock towering above the sea. Gerald pointed to an ancient villa perched like an eagle’s nest at the top of the cliff, high above the sparkling waters. The stunning view stole Rachel’s breath away, and she looked at Gerald in amazement.

“That’s our hotel, Rachel, the Caesar Augustus. I’ve booked two suites, the best in the hotel, and they’re incredible.”

As they climbed down the gangplank to the small launch that was to take them into shore, Gerald took Rachel’s arm to steady her. The touch of his hand was somehow intoxicating, and a strange thrill ran through her. She looked at him and he smiled and took her hand. Rachel blushed and turned her eyes away.

Is this what falling in love is? If it is I...I like it.

She pressed against him as the launch cut through water that spread like glass beneath the brilliant Mediterranean sun. His arm crept around her bare shoulders, and he pulled her close against him. She felt her face burning and hid against his shoulder. New and unknown feelings flashed through her, catching her by surprise.

This is just a business arrangement. I don’t love him...or do I?

A chauffeur in full livery waited beside a limousine that was parked at the dock and they waited for a moment while the driver loaded their luggage. Then they drove up a cobbled, winding street to the top of the hill. When they pulled into the courtyard in front of the hotel, Gerald climbed out and held the door for Rachel.

“This is the only hotel on the Island that you don’t have to walk up the hill to get to.” He pointed west. A beautiful little town spread out before them. “You can walk a few hundred feet and be in Anacapri. We can go tomorrow. Then we can take a boat around to Grotta Azzurra. It’s a cave under the cliff that you can cruise through—the bluest water in the world. Oh, and did you know that Roman emperors had villas on this island? There’s a lot of history here.”

Gerald’s boyish enthusiasm amused Rachel. They stood outside for a moment, taking it all in, and then Gerald took her hand and they walked into the lobby. The concierge looked up and smiled. “Welcome back, Signor Gerald. And who is this lovely lady?”

Gerald took Rachel by the arm. “Hello, Adriano. It’s good to be back. And this is my brand new wife, Rachel.”

A big smile broke over Adriano’s face. He came around his desk and extended his hand.

“Buongiorno, signora St. Clair. Matrimoni e vescovati sono destinati dal cielo,”

Rachel looked to Gerald for a translation. Gerald laughed. “He said that marriages are made in heaven. I hope that’s true in our case.”

Adriano looked puzzled but Gerald just smiled. “Just a little joke, Adriano. Now, what about our rooms?”

Adriano glanced down at the register and then back at Gerald. “You have reserved two suites, Signor Gerald?”

Gerald spoke to Adriano in Italian. “La signora St. Clair proviene da un...un upbringing molto severo ed è molto timida. Vorrei dare a lei come molta...ah... privacy possibile fino a quando lei è più abituata a me.”

Understanding crossed Adriano’s face and he smiled and bowed. “Sì, Signor Gerald. I understand perfectly.”

Rachel leaned close to Gerald. “What did you say to him?”

Gerald whispered back. “The truth. I told him you were very shy and I wanted to give you as much privacy as possible.”

Adriano rang a small bell on his desk and a bellboy appeared magically. Adriano reached into his desk and brought out two sets of keys. He handed them to the young man. “Si prega di prendere la signora St. Clair a Cesare Master Suite e il signor St. Clair a Capri.”

The bellboy nodded and went looking for their luggage. Adriano smiled. “He will return in a moment and take you to your rooms. Again, signora St. Clair, welcome to Capri. Congratulazioni e possono avete figli maschi!”

Rachel glanced at Gerald. Gerald leaned over and whispered in her ear. “It’s a traditional Italian wedding blessing. He says he hopes you have male children.”

Rachel turned beet-red and looked at the floor while the two men laughed. Then the bellboy returned with their luggage and led them to their rooms. At the door of her suite, Rachel turned to Gerald. “Thank you for getting me my own room. I am very grateful. It is awkward, I know, but I appreciate it and hope you understand.”

Gerald took her hand and bowed over it. Then he kissed it. “Think nothing of it, Rachel. I only want you to be comfortable and happy and to enjoy being together with me.

Gerald paused and then spoke softly. “My greatest hope is that when we sort through the...strangeness of this arrangement, you might come to have feelings for me as I am...as I am beginning to have for you.”

Rachel felt something like an electric shock rush down her arms and the heat came into her face again. He looked into her eyes and held them for a long moment. Then he let go of her hand and nodded to the bellboy. “It’s a beautiful suite, Rachel. I hope you like it. Say, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you meet me at the pool and we’ll go for a swim before lunch. You won’t believe the view.”

The heat faded from Rachel’s face and she gathered her emotions together.

“All right. That sounds fine. I’ll see you there shortly, as soon as I unpack a few things.”

Gerald turned and went off down the corridor. The young man turned the key, opened the door, and motioned for her to enter. Rachel stepped into the room and stopped, amazed. It was the most beautiful room she had ever seen. The walls were pristine white and beautiful matching drapes hung in all the arches that soared above the doorways, tied back with gray woven ropes. The parquet floors shone with a luminous glow and the accents in the room were gorgeous red and gray. The furniture was dark wood and there were lamps of gleaming brass set on the desks and on the tables by the couch. Rachel walked into the room. The young man came in behind her and set her luggage down. He turned to go. Rachel reached for her purse, but the young man smiled. “No, la signora St. Clair. Il signor Gerald mi ha già dato un suggerimento.”

He smiled at her puzzled look and tried again in English. “Mr. Gerald. He already tip.”

Rachel nodded and smiled as the young man left. She turned back to the room. It was spectacular. Almost circular in shape, it had huge arches all around. The afternoon sun blazed off a glass door that opened out onto a terrace. White curtains framed the arches like clouds, and through them, Rachel could see the beautiful Bay of Naples. She stood entranced as the sun ricocheted off tiny, breeze-borne waves like a million bright candles.

She toured each room. The immaculate bathroom walls shone with white tile trimmed in blue, and the sinks were jade-green marble. As she looked in the bronze-framed mirror above the sinks, she could see the reflection of the sea through the enormous window behind her.

She went back into the living room. The master bedroom lay beyond an archway draped with diaphanous curtains. Rachel stepped through the archway. The material drifted against her skin like caressing fingers. She looked down at the huge bed. Strange feelings rushed through her, and for a moment she couldn’t catch her breath. She sat down and felt the softness of the mattress, the touch of the magnificent coverlet. An image began to take shape in her mind. Gerald with her, in this room...

She stood up and returned to the living room. She picked up her suitcase and went back into the bedroom. There was a stand by the window, and she put her suitcase there and opened it. She sorted through the clothes that Augusta helped her buy until she found the swimsuit. It was a simple one-piece, modest but lovely. Augusta had tried to get her to buy a tiny bikini, but Rachel had balked.

Rachel undressed and put on the suit. She had seen some white terrycloth robes hanging in the bathroom closet, so she went in, found one that fit her, and put it on. Then she grabbed a towel from the cupboard and headed for the door. As she passed the bedroom, she paused and then stepped back through the sheer curtains. As she stood looking down at the bed, the images came again. They were vivid and passionate; Gerald and her, alone in the room, as husband and wife. She tried to push them away, and then suddenly her heart was pounding and she could barely catch her breath.

What is happening to me? I’ve never had such thoughts.

She backed away from the bed, took a deep breath, and then turned and almost ran from the room.

*****

The rest of the day was like a dream. They went swimming in the infinite horizon pool on the edge of the terrace. When Rachel was in the water, it seemed as though she were floating above the world. The sea stretched away to the north. On the horizon, an island rose out of the low-lying white clouds. It looked as though it was suspended magically above the water. Gerald swam up next to her. “That’s Ischia. It’s one of the Phlegrean Islands. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Then she felt his arms slip around her. She had never felt the touch of a man’s skin so intimately before. He turned her face to his and smiled. “But not as beautiful as you, Rachel.”

And then his lips found hers, and she felt herself being drawn into his very being. They stayed there in the warm water, and it was as though she were looking down at another girl from high above. And then suddenly, it was so intense that she couldn’t breathe and she broke away.

“What, Rachel? Didn’t you like it?”

She reached out and took his hand. “Yes, Gerald, I like it. It’s just that I never...”

He smiled again and put his finger to her lips. “It’s all right, I understand. Come on, let’s have lunch.”

He turned and swam to the edge of the pool and pulled himself out. The muscles in his back and arms rippled as he did, and Rachel followed slowly, feeling suddenly alone without him.

*****

Later that night, they sat on the terrace looking out over the bay as the full moon stood high above the Tyrrhenian Sea. The summer night was perfectly still, the surface of the water was smooth as glass, and the moonlight made a silver path on the sea. Gerald sipped his wine and then reached for Rachel’s hand.

Rachel was stunning in a white, off-the-shoulder summer dress. Her long, dark auburn hair was pinned softly at the nape of her neck, and her violet eyes drank in Gerald’s face. She was being swept away, and yet part of her was still saying no. Something inside her was clinging to the last bit of her old life, like someone in a flood holding desperately to a tiny bit of rock while the water rages all around them. Warning bells blared in her heart, but a heat was rising in her that slowly engulfed and silenced them.

Gerald stood and drew her to him. They walked to the edge of the terrace and lingered in the shadows. Gerald’s lips found hers again and suddenly she was responding to him with her whole being. They stood in the embrace for what seemed forever, and then Gerald whispered in her ear.

“Shall we go back to your room, Mrs. St. Clair?”

She hesitated for just a moment. The strangest sensation washed over her—like a tornado tearing through her ordered little world, stripping away everything familiar and loved. Her head whirled and she didn’t know where she was. She closed her eyes to steady herself, and suddenly she saw a man. But it wasn’t Gerald. It was Daniel! He was standing on top of their knoll, under the tree where they had pledged their friendship and love so long ago. Daniel was looking east, and she could see that he was troubled. In that moment, she felt as though everything about her life was wrong. She wanted to cry out, to stop the folly sweeping her away in a white-hot flame. A thought came to her like a life preserver tossed to a drowning woman caught in a maelstrom.

Daniel, Daniel...come save me!

She wanted to scream it, but before she could say the words, burning lips pressed against hers. She opened her eyes but it wasn’t Daniel that held her, it was Gerald—her husband.

For a moment she almost pulled away, but then the strange, unfamiliar heat began to course through her body again. Before she could stop herself, she was clinging to Gerald, pulling him close, and kissing him back with such passion that he was the one who pulled away in surprise.

He stared at her, and then he smiled in anticipation and his eyes asked the question again. Rachel nodded. The old world was swept away as though it had never been. Gerald took her hand. Rachel let go, opened her heart, and followed him into the darkness.

Part Two

The Prison

Too often, we make a prison of our dreams.

The Prison—From The Journals of Jenny Hershberger