The Thunder Wolves MC - Lyssa (Book #13)

21

Lyssa

Now my heart broke for my sister. If Ray found out, he would do whatever he could to get her to abort the baby. And if he found out after it was too late, he was going to make her life hell. It was a red flag of his that I ignored when I was with him, even after he told me of more than one ex of his that he paid off to abort their pregnancies. And there was one thing Ray said he was always happy about with me, which is now laughable since he still cheated on me. I am unable to have children; it's medically impossible. When I was sixteen, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and when I was seventeen, the doctors decided to do a total hysterectomy along with removing my ovaries. It was one of the worst times in my life, and now thinking about it, it will have to be something I talk to Goose about if our relationship continues.

Honestly, thinking back on my relationship with Ray, I am glad it ended. He wasn't good for me, and I would have never been happy with him. However, that doesn't change the fact that my sister slept with him. And now what? She was pregnant and needed support. We had no one else but each other. But I was still pissed off at her and didn't see forgiving her in my future, leaving me with not knowing how else to respond to her. Something she must have gotten after a long silence.

"I get it, not going to lie, I was hoping for a different reaction, seeing as….well, you know…I thought you would want to be a part of your niece or nephew's life. I guess if you change your mind, I will be staying at the Super 8 just as you come into town, while I figure out what I am going to do."

Turning, she walked back over to her car, got in, and drove off. All eyes were now on me as everyone waited for me to react. But I couldn't, not at first. I didn't know how to. Hell, I didn't really know how I felt. My sister was pregnant with my ex-fiancé's baby, and she thought I wanted to be a part of their life, because I couldn't have children of my own. Was I supposed to be happy? I mean, it would be the closest to having a child of my own with a man I don't love anymore. Someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, and if I were capable of doing so, would have one day maybe wanted to have children with him. Probably not, but I will never know for sure. But it wasn't me having this baby; it was my sister, whom I am still pissed off at, and that baby will only serve as a reminder of what she did. Though it wasn't the baby's fault, I could still look at it and not see a reminder of the shitty thing its parents did.

"f**k!!"

Turning I moved around Goose, who was still standing behind me, pacing a few feet before turning around and walking back only to turn back around and head towards the back of the house to the entrance to the little apartment I call home.

"Um…what the hell, you aren't going to help your sister?"

Sighing, I turned back around to address Emilia, who looked angry. And I can't blame her; she didn't know the whole story, none of them did. And I know enough about them that this group would do anything for each other, regardless of blood relation; they were raised like siblings and took care of one another.

"You don't know the full story, none of you do. Goose only just a little bit ago got some of the story."

Crossing her arms, she stared at me angrily.

"Em, I don't think…"

Finch's attempt to step in and help only earned him a deathly look from Emilia.

"No, if it were me coming to you for help, would you let me walk away like that? No, you wouldn't. I get I don't know the full story, but what could be so damn bad that anyone would just let their sister walk off like that after asking for help?"

My anger, confusion, and hurt from my sister now mixed with anger for my friend blindly taking her side. Walking back towards the group, I stopped a few feet away from where Goose was still standing.

"Please tell me how I am supposed to help her when I don't know that I will ever be able to forgive her for having an afair with my fiancee, letting me plan a wedding with her as my maid of honer claiming she was so happy for the two of us, then letting me find out about their afair the day of the wedding. Oh, and not to mention her happily going on what should have been my honeymoon with the man I was supposed to marry….Please tell me how I am supposed to help her with a baby that will only serve as a reminder of that afair. And I know it won't be the baby's fault, but that won't change who that baby's parents are and the fact that I will forever know that even if their afair never happened and Ray ever changed his mind on wanting children, I could have never given him one."

The more I said, the more Emilia's anger disappeared, and her face was replaced with something other than sadness. More like feeling sorry for me. I think that looked pissed me off more than her being angry with me for not following my sister. And the fact that it wasn't just her with the same look, D and Finch both had the same look on their face. This made me angrier and made me not want to look and see what Goose's face said about the new information I just divulged. Instead of looking at Goose, I chose to turn around and walk back to my apartment, hoping like hell this time no one followed me. I truly wanted to be alone in my thoughts this time.