On His Knees

Chapter 13

“Yes, we did, uncle. And you also promised not to hurt him.”

I woke up to the sound of knocking on the door. Getting up, I realized it’s been two weeks since I was last locked in my room as a punishment for leaving early. It felt as if I had lost weight. I hadn’t been doing anything but sleeping and eating and yet I stopped doing that as well. Every night, I had trouble sleeping. I would find myself drowning in thoughts and missing Caden.

Oh god, Caden…I missed him so much. How cruel was it to be separated from him just after confessing our feelings for each other?

The door opened and the familiar maid who usually came to bring me my food entered the room. She didn’t speak a word, didn’t even look at me. She just placed the tray on the table and came rushing out to the door.

I heaved another sigh. I’m slowly losing my sanity.

I want to see Caden.

I want to see Caden.

I want to see Caden.

I want to see Caden.

I want to see Caden.

I want to—

The door opened for the second time and through my dazed state, I saw uncle Milo coming in my room. His everlasting mocking smile irritated me. Even with my blurred sight, I could see it as clear as day.

“You don’t look so good, Livi,” uncle Milo teased.

“Let me guess, you’re here to ruin my day,” I said with a groan. As if my day couldn’t get any better, uncle Milo just had to visit to see how miserable I was.

“A little,” he said, snickering. He closed the door behind him and approached me. His footsteps were as light as a feather, greatly reminding me of Caden. Ugh, don’t think about him anymore, Livi. You’re only torturing yourself. “Your father really hates you, huh?”

I felt a pang in my chest but chose to ignore it. I turned my back on uncle Milo. I didn’t want to see his face. He’s looking at me as if I’m the most pathetic person in the world and maybe I really am. My father hated me for disobeying his order, I’m locked in my room for a month, I couldn’t see Caden and now my uncle’s here to pester me. “What do you want?” I asked, refusing to look at him.

I felt him sit on the edge of the bed, leaning close to me. “I came here to relay a message.”

I jolted. “What?”

“At midnight, you’ll learn the truth.”

I sprung out of bed, looking at uncle Milo with wide eyes. “W-what do you mean by that?”

Uncle Milo only grinned at me, ruffling my hair affectionately. “It’s in the kitchen. You know your way down there, right?” he said, patting my cheek before standing straight and walking out to the door.

“W-wait, uncle!” I wanted him to explain what he means by the truth but it’s too late. Uncle Milo had already left, closing the door right in front of me.

If I only I could get out and chase him to demand answers but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to face dad’s wrath again. He scares me. “Damn it,” I cursed under my breath. I collapsed on the floor, forcing myself not to cry from frustration. Two weeks of staying in this god damn room, questioning everything that just happened—about dad’s sudden shift of attitude towards me, Caden’s confession and uncle Milo’s vague statements. It’s driving me crazy!

If I had my cellphone with me, I would have called Caden and tell him everything that’s been weighing my mind. He’s the only one who would listen to me and give me answers I needed to get my peace.

Although I doubt he’d tell me the truth. Caden had his secrets and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to unravel it.

“At midnight, you’ll learn the truth.”

What exactly was the truth?

I forgot when was the last time I had a proper sleep. Ever since I was locked in my room, I lost track of the days passing by. No cellphone, no computer, no books—it’s excoriatingly painful. I couldn’t even jerk off for heaven’s sake. I’m too restless about what was happening in my family and with the Vaccarinos as well. Uncle Milo made it sound like something interesting was going to happen at midnight. I had no idea what he’s talking about but from everything that’s happening around me, I’m ready to risk myself just to know what uncle Milo meant by the truth.

Does it have any connection with dad’s aggravation towards Caden? Were the Vaccarinos really planning to betray us? Was that the reason why dad’s hostile towards Caden? He hadn’t mentioned anything about uncle Dom. It’s been a while since I last saw the leader of the Vaccarino group. He had been out of town most of the time, leaving his business and territories to Caden. Did Caden do something to provoke dad? He wouldn’t do that. He respected my dad…as far as I know. Caden showed signs of meekness on my father every time they see each other and I’m one hundred percent sure he viewed dad as a father figure too. Both our families had long histories together—being business partners and allies.

The Vaccarinos wouldn’t compromise the bond they had with the Saverios. That’s just…impossible.

“That’s impossible. Dad is very loyal to the Saverios. And he treats you like his real son. There’s no way he’s going to do that.”

I trust Caden. He told me he wouldn’t lie to me. He’d never do anything to hurt me, right?

I was too much into my thoughts that I didn’t notice time passed by incredibly fast. For someone who’s been imprisoned for too long, one would expect I’d be vigilant with the time. When I checked the watch hanging on the wall, it’s already eleven in the evening. I had fallen asleep for the nth time, my mind wandering about things that were boggling me.

Uncle Milo told me the truth would be in the kitchen at twelve. Only an hour to go, huh? If I leave this room, I’m definitely going to be punished. Dad was a vicious man. He might have been gentle and lenient with me, but he’d proven that I broke his trust by defying his orders. And he’d do anything to teach me a lesson, just like how he did it with Hugo and Louis.

And here I thought I could get away without the consequence of having a father who worked in the mob.

Live a normal life, find a job, a wife, build a family, grow old with them—those things I thought I could do wasn’t possible anymore.

“You know you belong to a Mafia family?”

Gritting my teeth, I stood up from the bed and walked to my bathroom. Dad doesn’t own me. I could just run away from home and never come back. I didn’t want to be a part of the Mafia. I showed signs of apathy towards the family business. For years I had been avoiding anything related to the mob and how perilous their lives were. I wasn’t rained to become like Caden or my brothers. I wasn’t even dad’s choice to be a leader hence why he didn’t waste his time teaching me how to be like them.

I already decided I’d live my life the way I wanted.

After taking a long and warm bath, I stopped thinking about dad, uncle Milo, and Caden. There’s no point pushing myself to madness when I could just easily ask dad. He was the key to solving my problem. And if I chose to stay here in my room, feeling miserable and stupid for not being able to fight back against dad, I’d be doomed.

Remembering Caden’s words about belonging to the Mafia, I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth, determined to deny my fate.

No. I don’t want to. And I never will be.

Dad might have found a way to lock me in my room, securing the door and the windows to prevent people from coming and in out. But forgot there’s still another way to get out of this place. I was just too afraid to use it.

I put my clothes on, slicking my dap hair back while eyeing the air vent at the upper right side of the bathroom. Lifting the chair and placing it under the duct, I began pulling the cover off. I carefully yet hastily put it down on the floor, gulping as my idea began to weigh in my mind. The sight of the duct looking dark and ominous scared me, but I had no choice but to get through it. It’s the only way out. After living in this mansion for more than a decade, I should know where one of the ducts would lead me to. It’s Hugo’s room.

Fortunately, I had a petite body—something I had been hating since I started attending school. I witnessed how boys in my age started growing up and yet I remained the same height as I was in middle school. It sucked not to be blessed with a magnificent height like Caden. Give it another year and he’d be taller than dad and my brothers.

I mentally smacked myself. Stop thinking about Caden, damn it! He’s been running in my head the whole day I’m surprised he wasn’t exhausted to death.

Climbing up the vent was more than hard that I imagined it to be. It was humid, narrow and dusty, I had to stop myself from sneezing. I crawled slowly, cringing from every little noise my body creates while traversing through the vent. If someone finds out I’m here, I’m dead. Really dead.

It’d be okay, Livi. Take your time. I still have one hour before the clock strikes twelve. If I wanted to know the truth, I had to endure this. This is nothing.

Taking the left duct rather than the one on the right, I was positive it would lead me to Hugo’s room. His was right above the kitchen. If I could climb down using the vines surrounding the wall, it’d drop me right outside where the place I had to be at twelve.

I knew it was stupid to follow what uncle Milo said but for some reason, I couldn’t help but believe he had something to show me, something that could probably change my life. There’s no way he would trick me. Uncle Milo might be a mischievous person, but he wouldn’t do something as drastic as putting me in danger. I liked to believe he sees me as a son too. He never had the chance to have a family, I always hoped he finds it in me. After everything that happened with dad, I’d rather have uncle Milo.

Finally arriving at Hugo’s room, I triple checked to see if it was empty. Luckily enough, there’s no one inside. I didn’t hear any sort of noises, no footsteps or movement in the room. Kicking the lid, I crawled out of the vent and heaved a successful sigh. It’s a good thing the mansion was old and decrepit. It’s been years since someone last checked the air vents.

Okay, now that I’m done sneaking out of my room, I had to get down without having anyone seeing me. I hurried to the terrace, deliberately ignoring the sour smell in Hugo’s room. There were clothes tossed everywhere, dismantled guns and knives scattered on the floor and used condoms on the bed. I held my breath and quickly made my way outside. I closed the glass doors behind me and eyed the thick and thorny vines attached to the brick wall. I had never done anything as daring as climbing down a wall that could possibly lead to my death.

But here goes nothing.

I walked towards the vines, expecting it closer. The thorns would definitely prick me but it’s a sacrifice I had to make. When everything goes to s**t, I could follow the same route Caden took when we escaped the mansion, I could also get out and never come back.

I can do that…

I hissed, feeling the sting of the thorns in my palms. Thank God it was dark or else I’d see how bad my hands looked like. I successfully descended the wall and was now in front of a window outside the kitchen. No guards were patrolling the area. Peeking through the glass, there was no one inside. I checked the time on my wristwatch and saw it’s past midnight. Was uncle Milo lying? No, he wouldn’t…

My heart jumped as soon as I saw movement from inside the kitchen. The lights turned on and voices followed soon. I kept hidden in the bushes, fearing for my life. If someone catches me here, I’d be grounded for a year!

No, calm down, Livi. You’re still safe. When I decided to leave my room and defy my father’s order, I knew there’s no turning back. It’s either get caught or leave this place. It’d be difficult to hide from my family knowing how influential and powerful the Saverio group was, but there’s no harm in dreaming, right?

I clasped my wounded hand on my mouth, scared that I would make a sound. I pressed my back against the wall, evening my unsteady breathing

Calm down, Livi. Cal— “Don’t you think locking up Livio will trigger them to launch an attack?” I froze, quickly recognizing whose voice just spoke. It’s uncle Milo!

“And you think I’ll let the kid get out so he can hang out with his brat?” I suppressed my gasp after hearing dad. “You do know that kid is the only one keeping up this ridiculous treaty! If I lose him, it’s all over!”

“Maybe it’s time for you to give him back. He—”

I flinched after hearing uncle Milo groan in pain. Did dad…hurt him? I cowered at the thought of dad hitting uncle Milo. “Don’t you ever suggest that again, Milo. It will be the end of the world first before I give him up to the Vaccarinos.”

It took uncle Milo a second before uttering a reply. “I understand, brother,” he said, his voice heavy and constrained.

“We’ll move Livio tomorrow. I need to hide him somewhere far away. Somewhere the Vaccarinos won’t find. You’ll help me out, won’t you, Milo?” It’s horrifying how dad’s voice sounded so…sinister. I had never heard him speak like this to anyone. It might be my ignorance when it comes to how he deals with his men, but this was beyond shocking. I always deemed dad as a gentle yet intimidating man but after hearing his conversation with uncle Milo, my perspective of him changed.

It was as if he’s another person.

Was he always this…scary?

I was so engrossed in their discussion that I didn’t notice the two men coming up from beside me. Shining me with their flashlight, they screamed as soon as they caught sight of me. “Hey! What are you doing there?!”

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t expect someone would find me here. I stood up, my knees shaking in fear. “I-I…listen—”

“Livi?!” The door of the kitchen leading outside swung opened and dad came out. Uncle Milo was following him, clutching his reddening cheek. So, I was right. Dad did hurt him. “What in the world are you doing out there?!” Dad was furious. His gaze was sharp and dangerous. “How did you get out?!”

“I-I…d-dad…I—” I was stammering so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if I peed myself from fear. I glanced at uncle Milo and saw that slight smirk he’s sporting. “P-please…I can explain!”

It’d be alright. If I tell him I just wanted to get some fresh air, he’d understand. Dad had always been understanding ever since I was a kid. Although there were times he’d neglect me, I grasped the idea that I wasn’t his favorite son. His attention would always be on Hugo and Louis. Because they’re the ones who’d continue the family business.

Not someone like me who didn’t know s**t about how the world knows. Who wasn’t involved in any kind of fistfight, or do any drugs…or any other stuff that people do in our world?

But dad would always see past through those flaws of mine. Because I’m still his son. And he still loves me.

“Dad, I—”

Everything happened too fast. The only thing I felt was the immense pain spreading through my face. I dropped on the floor, blood dripping from my nose.

“I told you, didn’t I?!” dad screamed at my face, his fist covered in blood. Is it mine? “Since you started hanging out with that bloody bastard’s kid, you’ve learned to disobey me!” Delivering blows after blows on my face, my head, my stomach—every punch and kick was enough to kill me. It hurt. So bad. So damn bad. “When will you learn your god damn place, you f*****g brat!”

My ears were ringing, my body screaming in pain. I curled up in a ball, receiving dad’s punishment in silence. Not only could I feel the pain, but the stares the men were giving me added with uncle Milo’s indifferent gaze brought me shame.

Dad’s scary.

It hurt but I couldn’t find the heart to beg for him to stop. Because somewhere deep inside me, I knew I deserved the pain. The idea of leaving the Saverio and having a normal life—I was stupid to even think about that. There’s no way I could leave this place.

Grabbing my collar, dad forced me to stand up. He delivered another punch on my face and I threw up blood. It’s the very first time I dealt with such colossal pain, I thought I’d die. “Listen carefully, Livio. If you want to live, you’ll do whatever I ask you to do. Or else, I’ll give you the Vaccarinos. They won’t show you the same mercy I did.” Leaning closer, his glare cut my soul and it was as if I’m looking at the eyes of a demon. “Dom is the man you should be scared of, Livio. Because you’re the reason why he’s in deep s**t. And he’ll do anything to f**k you up.”

“Brother,” uncle Milo called, tapping dad’s shoulder, “that’s enough.”

I was heaving, trembling from fear and agony. Dad let go of me, dropping me on the ground. I didn’t have any strength to get up.

My mind was blank.

My body hurts.

My ears were ringing.

Am I…going to die?

“Bring him back to his room. And don’t tend his wounds. Let him suffer for a while. The little s**t deserves it.”

I couldn’t see anything. Was I even crying? Sobbing sounds were coming from somewhere…was it me?

My mind was blank.

My body hurts.

My ears were ringing.

Am I…going to die?

I could feel someone pulling me up from the ground, carrying me like a corpse. Maybe I am dead. Everything…hurts.

I deserved it. I disobeyed dad. And if I continue disobeying him, he’d hurt me again.

I don’t want to get hurt again.

Dad’s scary.

I don’t want to get hurt again.

Dad’s scary.

I don’t want to get hurt again.

Dad’s scary.

I don’t want to get hurt again.

This was the same thing he does to my brothers. He wouldn’t hesitate to do the same thing to me as well.

“You know you belong to a Mafia family?”

“…Ca…den.”

A sigh lingered in the air and before I pass out, I hear someone saying, “don’t worry, kid. They’ll be coming for you.”

I want to see you, Caden.