The Eclipse

Chapter 2- Sublimation

Warning: This is a true story. The characters name and the settings are fictional to protect the privacy of the people involved on the story in real life. This contains vulgar words, s****l content and some triggering event that is not good for the sensible ones. Happy reading, loves! ❤️

•••••

I wonder why everytime I get hurt I tend to create something? Elio and I had broken up countless times already.

I have always keeping records of his mistakes and always using the past against him when I'm about to lose to an argument.

I was fond of reading self help books when we first broke up and we were on the long distance relationship.

That time Bianca Sparacino was like my guardian angel and lecture-- saving me from depression for too much heartbreak using her eye opening and touching words-- she was the author of the famous Gentle Reminder and The Strength in our Scars by the way.

My eyes were opened but my heart still chooses to come back to him everytime I see him or even I read the messages he writes saying he misses me and he wants us to come back.

I just can't stand the loneliness and feeling that I was longing and searching for something without him.

"So here are the lists of Defense Mechanisms by Freud that I made in simple terms;

1. Repression- Forgetting stuff that's too hard to deal with

2. Denial- "No, that's not happening!"

3. Projection- Blaming someone else for your feelings

4. Displacement- Taking out frustration on someone else

5. Sublimation- Channeling anger into sports or art

6. Rationalization- Making excuses

7. Regression- Acting like a kid when stressed

8. Reaction Formation- Doing the opposite of what you want

9. Intellectualization- Overthinking to avoid feelings

10. Identification- Copying someone you admire" said by my prof in Psychology as he was discussing about Sigmund Freud's theory.

Maybe I was in my Sublimation defense and maybe this is also good for me as I am always turning my pain into different types of arts.

And now I remember him again. There we were, under the moonlight near the sea shore having our romantic moment.

"Elio, bakit mahal na mahal mo ako?" I ask him sweetly while looking at him.

"Hindi ko din alam, chel." he answered as he looked at me with longing in his eyes. There is so much love in his eyes that I feel so lost but somehow found because of the depth when I look at it.

"Grabe ka talaga magmahal. If one day makahanap ka ng iba at hindi na ako, masasaktan ako pero ayos lang sakin kung matatrato ka nya just like what you deserve." I poutingly replied trying to be understanding although my heart was breaking.

I just can't imagine my life without him. I'm so happy and contented with him. Plano kong tumanda kasama sya, plano kong maabot ko mga pangarap ko kasama sya, maging nanay ng mga anak nya, makasama sya sa sarili naming bahay.

Ang dami kong plano kasama sya, lahat ng bagay na gusto kong maachieve naiimagine kong kasama ko sya at nakikita ko na future ko kasama sya.

"Chel, ikaw lang naman mamahalin ko. Ikaw lang." he assured me and I rested my head on his shoulder while we watched the moon with the sound of the waves that night.

••••

"Babe, wake up." I heard someone said as I was sleeping while giving me kisses on my cheek.

"Ugh, no! It's my vacation! I'm supposed to wake up late until 1 in the afternoon!" I complained while trying to get back to sleep.

I just heard someone laughed so pleasingly and give me again kisses on my cheeks, all over my head and all over my shoulder.

"Babe, wake up. I told you we're going to the beach and we're going for a ride." He whispers gently as if trying not to anger me.

I didn't care at what he said because he knows that I hate it when someone wakes me up so I feel that he just lay beside me in my room and hugged me.

And so all summer vacation we've been with each other's arms, like all the summers that has been passed.