Five Years After

The Engagement

After I finished my second case for the day, I decided to check on the other cases, especially those na ginagawa ng juniors.

 We lived by the dictum “See one, do one, teach one.” Meaning, after seeing or after being taught how a case is done, we do it by ourselves, after which, we pass on the knowledge and teach the younger ones. Of course, it was a given na inaral namin ang kaso bago kami mag-opera at na master na namin ang procedure bago pa man kami mag maasim na magturo.

 I passed by one of the orthopedic rooms on my way to the other side of the wing and may pinagkakaguluhan ang mga nurses and interns. I looked at the clock; it was just eleven in the morning.

 “Ang gwapo nga, nakaka-hypnotize! Swerte ng ortho rotator!” I heard one of the interns gush about the patient and I shook my head. Wala talagang ibang inaatupag ‘tong mga ‘to kundi guwapo na patient, co-intern, or resident.

 “Oh my god, besh, ang gwapo nung ipa-pa block ni Dr. Hernaez! Hindi ko kaya, nalaglag yung panty ko nung nag ‘good morning’ sya!” this time, it was the anesthesia resident sharing her story to her friends. She was blushing and kilig na kilig sya.

 “O, e ano pang ginagawa natin dito? Induce mo na! Samahan kita!” her friend volunteered. Obviously, she wanted to see the patient too. Mga malandi!

 Pero naman, this was really the highlight of our days, kung may gwapo, pinag kakaguluhan ng mga babae. Kung maganda, mga lalaki naman. Hindi naman sa minamanyak namin ang mga pasyente, minsan lang talaga ang boring na ng buhay sa loob ng ospital kaya kung may bagong distraction o pagchichismisan, andun lahat.

 “Kinakabahan ata e, taas ng pulse rate at BP. Ayaw naman pa sedate. Tinawag ko na lang si Dr. Gomez. Twenty minutes ko na syang natititigan doon, malapit na syang matunaw.” The first resident giggled as they went back inside the room, and a pair of nurses went out.

 Artista ba ang ooperahan? Bakit lahat parang nababaliw sa kagwapuhan niya?

 “Gwapo nga mukha namang masungit.” Angal ng isang nurse na kalalabas lang sa OR suite.

 “Matipid lang sa smile, baka kinakabahan lang. Pero ang pecs, bakla! Bakat na bakat sa gown! At ang biceps!” the gay nurse bit his lip.

 Pati mga bading na nurses, abalang-abala! May kagat-labi pang nalalaman! Aba, na curious na ako sa pasyente! I tried to sneak a look sa patient pero natatakpan sya ng mga nurses who were pretending to be busy. Ang dami nila sa loob ng room ha!

 Just then, Dr. Hernaez walked in with his partner anesthesiologist, Dr. Gomez.

 “Hoy, wag ninyong pagkaguluhan yang pasyente namin. Mas gwapo pa kami ni Dr. Hernaez diyan!” biro ni Dr. Gomez as he shooed us away. Di ko tuloy nakita ang mystery patient.

 “Cara! Tamang-tama. Can you come inside for a while?”

 I turned to look at who called me. It was Dr. Hernaez. But why would I want to go inside his OR? Hindi naman ako ortho.

 “Sabi ng tatay mo family friend niyo raw yung patient.” He said, seeing the confused look on my face.

 “He’s a bit nervous, you might be able help him relax,” He opened the door and let me walk in ahead of him. I didn’t think much about it, though I did wonder who the mysterious handsome family friend was.

 I cursed myself for being so dim-witted that time and not realizing sooner who the patient was. Natauhan lang ako when my brown eyes locked with a pair of gray ones.

 God. Dammit. Cara.

 There was apprehension when I first looked, then relief. But after I blinked, there was nothing but ice.

   - 17.5 degrees. Lamig!

 “H-hey.”  My voice sounded like a peep.

 I could see the residents and the nurses looking at us, at me, especially, like who the hell was I talking to their precious. Na-conscious ako lalo, as if Jaxx staring at me wasn’t enough.

 He just nodded. His lips were pursed and at the corner of my eyes, I could have sworn stalactites forming sa ceiling ng OR.

 Nakahiga na siya sa OR table, BP cuff on one arm and the other was already positioned on the side table. A thick blanket covered him up to his chest. His left shoulder was exposed and was being prepped for the anesthesia block. Even from where I was standing, na-appreciate ko yung mga pinagsasasabi ng mga nurses. I bit my lower lip.

 I awkwardly moved closer to the bed, not wanting to disappoint Dr. Hernaez. However, his heart rate and blood pressure increased. He seemed to notice as well when he heard the rapid beeps on the machine because he looked up and gave the anesthesiologist a sheepish grin, to which, the resident profusely blushed.

 “Sorry, doc, there really just isn’t a good distraction right now.” He chuckled and looked at Dr. Hernaez.

 I don’t think he was that nervous about the surgery anymore, at yung pagtaas ng heart rate at BP nya ay hindi na dahil sa kaba kundi dahil sa galit at inis. I doubt they could see it, but I could. It was clear as day. Crystal clear, like the clear, rapidly growing stalactites that were threatening to pierce my head soon.

 “Can you just do general anesthesia instead? I’m pretty well-behaved when I wake up, no restraints needed. According to my previous anesthesiologist, anyway.” Jaxx tried to convince his doctors.

 “We can do whatever you wish, Ben. But you need to calm down.” Dr. Gomez replied.

 “I’ll leave. Maybe he’ll calm down again.” I offered.

 “Oo nga, akala ko pa naman you were the key to bringing his heart rate down, tumaas pa lalo!” Dr. Hernaez and the team laughed. That was my cue. So, with one last look at Jaxx, I excused myself and exited the room as gracefully as I could.

 I could hear the murmurs around but I was too overwhelmed to pay attention. Dumiretso ako sa locker room at nagbihis. Habang nagsusuot ng sapatos, saka ko lang naalala na hindi ko pa pala napuntahan juniors namin. So I changed back to scrubs and went back in the OR complex, making sure to pass the other way to get to my juniors without having to pass by Jaxx’s room.

 I learned that the surgery went well and I contemplated long and hard whether or not I should visit him in his room. I decided to visit him the following day kasi baka he was still groggy or tired. Pero, di ko na sya naabutan.

Napagalaman ko na Jaxx wanted to be discharged immediately. Pinigilan lang siya ng anesthesiologist because the block hadn’t worn off yet. But as soon as he could feel and move his fingers, nagpa-discharge na sya. The following day he left even before we could do our morning rounds. Hindi niya na hinintay mag-rounds ang ortho sa kanya.

Pagkatapos namin mag rounds, may isa’t kalahating oras pa ako bago magsimula ang OPD. Naglakad na ako papuntang canteen para makapagalmusal. Mag-oorder na sana ako nang biglang tumawag si Dad. Gusto nya makipagkita sa coffee shop across the hospital. Mabuti na lang! I’m sure I will get free breakfast that’s tastier than the sandwich that I was about to get. 

“Good morning, Dad.”

“Morning. I know you haven’t eaten yet. Why don’t you get yourself something first? I’ll just have a tall Americano and a short cappuccino.” He gave me a knowing smile and handed me his card.

 “Two coffees? For Mom or are we expecting someone else?” I asked. My dad just smiled and waved me off.

 Since there wasn’t a line, I decided to wait for our coffees at the counter while they heated my croissant. My name was called and everything was handed to me in a tray. When I looked up from my phone, I was surprised to see Derek take the tray from the counter.

 “Morning.” He smiled. It was not his usual cheerful smile, but it was genuine. He looked smart in his light pink dress shirt and gray tailored pants. I was too stunned to speak but it was a happy kind of stunned. So, I silently followed him back to the table.

 Nag-uusap si Dad at Derek ng kung anu-ano, including how his dad was habang kinakain ko ang croissant ko. Hindi ko pa rin lubos-maisip kung bakit nandito si Derek kasama namin. Tinitingnan ako ni Dad every now and then, habang si Derek naman hindi makatingin ng direcho sa akin.

 “Okay guys, what’s going on?”

 Dad shifted in his seat and paused before speaking. Derek held his coffee in both hands and looked straight at my dad.

 “Well, Derek here has something to say.”

 Derek’s eyes widened at this and his jaw dropped.

 “M-me?” he pointed a finger at himself.  “Wait, sabi n'yo po…”

 I looked from Dad to Derek and had to chuckle. They were having a silent conversation in front of me, Derek begging Dad and Dad pushing Derek to say whatever it was. Nagtutulakan pang parang mga bata. But I could see the teasing smile on Dad’s face. Nangbu-bully lang siya. Kawawang Derek.

 After what seemed like a minute, Dad gave in and looked at me. His face turned from teasing to serious in 1.3 seconds.

 “Remember that time in the hospital room?”

 I nodded. Of course, I remember. He did not have to expound which “time at the hospital room” because we all knew what he was talking about. Finally, I was going to get answers.

 “Didn’t you ever wonder why Derek didn’t have his dad’s family name?”

  “I did actually. I thought there was just a mistake but all medical records say otherwise. Hindi mo sya totoong dad?” I asked Derek.

 “He is. You also remember I told you that my mom left us when I was young, and I never really bothered looking for her, right?”

 I nodded.

 “Well, I’ve found her.”

 “Oh? That’s great news, isn’t it? Where is she? Hindi ka ba masaya?”

 “She’s your Aunt Amanda, Sky.”

 “Aunt Amanda? You’re sister, Aunt Amanda? The one sa States who…” I didn’t finish my sentence. My eyes darted between the two men in front of me. Derek’s sad eyes were on the table. Did he know?

 “Yes.” My Dad simply said. “I told him.”

 “But if Aunt Amanda… then you… ikaw.. totoo?” I could not form a sentence masyado akong naguluhan! Masaya ako na hindi sigurado, doubtful yet hopeful. “Dem, totoo?!”

 He gave me a tentative smile and nodded, parang nag-aalanganin sya at tinitimpla ang reaksyon ko.

 “Oh my god, Dem!” I gasped, hands covering my mouth. “Dad!” I looked at my Dad, nodded and smiled at me. There was a little moisture in his eyes.

“Cara, will you.. accept me? As your cousin?” he tilted his head, still unsure, pero mas masigla na ngiti niya.

“Oh my god, yes! Yes, of course, Yes! Sh*t, Dem, yes!”

Hindi ko napigilan sarili ko, I jumped from my seat threw my arms around him. Hindi sya nakapaghanda sa reaction ko, hindi nya na expect that I would pounce on him.

“Uy, teka sandali!” napasigaw si Derek nang muntik na kaming mabuwal Hindi ko din naman inexpect na ganoon kalakas yung pag yakap ko,

Narinig ko halakhak ni Dad and there were a few claps in the café. People around us congratulated Derek and Dad.

What the heck? Litung-lito kaming tatlo sa nangyari until a group of nurses stopped by to wish us well. Nakayakap pa rin ako kay Derek, my arms were around his neck. Nang lumingon ako, nagtagpo ang mga pisngi namin.

 “Hong kyoot! Bet ko talaga kayo, dok! Congrats!” ani ng isang nurse. Kinuhanan nya kami ng picture na magkayakap.

 Agad kong binitawan si Derek at tumayo ng maayos sa tabi nya. Inayos ko din ang damit ko habang inayos ni Derek kwelyo at tupi ng manggas nya.

  “Congratulations, doc! Ang brave, kaharap pa ang Daddy ni doktora!”

 “Ang galing nyo talaga mag-deny, dokies! Ilang taon na ba talaga kayo?

 “Ha? E hindi --” sasagot na sana ako but i was cut off.

 “Doktora patingin ng singsing!” two other nurses gushed to check my hand. 

"Ha? anong singsing?" I was more confused.

“Lumuhod ba si doc Derek? Hindi ko nakita! Ulit doc, picture-an namin kayo!”

 Humalakhak lalo si Dad.

 I covered my face with my hands. I swear my face was a brighter red than the traffic stop light. Ang init ng tenga at mga pisngi ko and I think the blush spread all the way to my toes. Napatawa na lang din si Derek. Kasi nga naman, ano bang iisipin ng mga tao kung nagsisisigaw ako rito ng “yes, of course, yes!” sabay yakap?

 “Walang nangyari kaya walang kailangan lumuhod at lalong walang kailangan picture-an.” He said in low voice, para hindi naman mapahiya yung mga nag congratulate earlier. They were so sincere with their well wishes we didn’t want to break the news na walang proposal na nangyari.

 Naguluhan din ang mga nurses and parang ayaw nila maniwala pero umalis na rin sila. Bumalik kami sa pagkaupo. Nagtawanan kami ni Derek nang magtama an gaming mga mata.

 “Tall soy latte with extra espresso for Ace!”

 “Tall house brew with extra espresso for Jackson!”

 Natigilan ako and the color from my entire body drained. I turned from fire engine red to ghostly pale in 0.007 seconds nang marinig ko ang pangalan ni Ace at Jaxx. Napalingon din si Dad sa counter and waved at the boys.

 Napansin agad ni Derek ang pagkatameme ko and he kicked me under the table. He gave me a concerned look, asking if I was ok. I nodded slightly. Hindi na naman ako makahinga, hindi makagalaw. Dread was washing over me, and my heart threatened to escape my chest sabay ng paglisan ng kulay sa pisngi ko.

 They greeted us. Well, Ace greeted us. Jaxx greeted my dad and just nodded at me.

 “Jaxx, this is Derek, he’s one of the best surgical oncologists we have in Manila. This is Jaxx, barkada nila Sky, and you’ve met Ace of course.”

 Ace shook Derek’s hand who stood up to say hi. Jaxx just nodded and raised his right hand in acknowledgement. His left hand was in a splint and he was wearing an arm sling His fingers look a bit swollen from the surgery. Hawak niya ang coffee niya on his right so hindi sya makapag handshake.

 Hindi ko rin makita mga mata nya because he was wearing his Aviators but I could see his jaw muscles tense.

 “Ah, you finally had your hand done.” Dad gestured to Jaxx’s hand.

 “Yes, Tito. Had the surgery yesterday morning. Thank you for referring me to Dr. Hernaez, by the way. He’s a really good doctor.” He said with a formal smile. His tone was casual, and if you didn’t see how his jaw was tensing earlier, you’d think there was nothing going on.

 Or ako lang ba ang ganito kasi takot ako at guilty? How is he so calm and composed habang eto ako kamuntikan nang mamatay?

 “So, you boys headed to work?”

 “Yes, Tito. Sinundo ko lang si Jaxx. Kulit na e, gusto agad magtrabaho. As if nagkukulang sa pera,” Ace joked and my Dad chuckled. Jaxx looked up to the ceiling and rolled his shoulders back.

 I wanted to help him with the strap. It seemed a little tight and the pad was also not in place. As if sensing Jaxx’s agitation, Dad stood up and fixed the sling, giving Jaxx and Ace instructions on how to wear it properly and how tight it should be.

 “That’s how it should be, okay?” Dad patted Jaxx’s right shoulder lightly.

 “Thanks, Tito. Feels better already.”

 “Okay, don’t let us keep you. Go bathe in your money.” Dad chuckled.

 “Una na po kami, Tito. Pare. Cara.” Pinandilatan ako ni Ace ng mata before he left.

 “Sige po, Tito, we’ll go ahead. Cara, Derek. Congratulations, by the way.” Jaxx gave a tight smile and turned to leave.