For the Hate of God

Is this what you wanted?

Aralyn’s POV

“Is this what you wanted? You screamed that you wanted this awhile ago in Avesta when I did my wrongdoings to you. Well, if you wanted to see me like this, you got it. Let it be. I guess I deserve it after all I have done to you.” I heard these words faintly ringing through my mind. What was that? Where did that come from? It sounded like Marcellus. His voice sounded raspy and tired but still so distinctive I would recognise that deep baritone anywhere. And then I saw surroundings that seemed like the dungeon where he held me, Norgarth lying unconscious. I could see Naevres pacing back and forth, looking anxious. Then…the ruckus of Wengarthria and soldiers led by a woman. She is beautiful. She looks familiar. She remotely reminds me of my mother. She reminds me of the woman who tortured Marcellus’ mother. She reminds me of….me? Is that my infamous maternal grandmother, Noosha? If Marcellus wasn’t lying when he told me that his mother was the tormented woman from my hell loop and that Noosha was the tormentor, that has to be Noosha. I have never met her. Mother was telling me about her, though.

I shook these strange thoughts away like I would shake the snow off my coat. I hope that this is just some peculiar product of my tired mind. Forget it, Aralyn. And then, I looked at my surroundings to get myself back to reality. Nerzelis was peaceful. I was sitting on the embankment of the same lake where, just a few months ago, Merlius almost killed me. My chin tucked between my knees, and I hugged my shins in deep thoughts of what happened recently. Merlius, sitting quietly beside me for hours, finally broke the silence.

“Girl, what can we do? How can we help? You have been like this since you came back.”

I sighed and scoffed, trying to find the right words to keep my voice even and prevent the tears from protruding: “I don’t know, Merlius, I feel so empty and bleak. You and Nethanaiah are the only family I have. My mother passed away, my father despises me and wants to kill me, as well as the one who is likely to be my soulmate. Oh, and lest not forget that half of the supernatural world likely wants me dead too. And what is worse, on top of everything, my Lycan had been silent for weeks now. I feel lonely, hated and abandoned by everyone.” I said with a squeaky voice whilst battling the pain that cumulated in my throat from holding back emotions. I am on the cusp of crying, and my shaky voice reveals a lot about the internal battle that I am trying to hide from Merlius. Merlius and Nethanaiah have been only good to me, and I sound like an ungrateful brat.

“Look, Merlius, don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate everything you and Nethanaiah did and are doing for me. I found you to be my only family. But is it so wrong of me to want more? I want my father to love me; despite him having a difficult and troubled history with my mother and myself, I cannot shake off that desire. I want to find my soulmate whom I will love unconditionally and who will love me back ten times more. I want to be accepted and have friends and a simple life. Am I selfish? Am I asking too much? I just feel so lonely….even my wolf finds me undeserving,” I said and broke down in tears.

Merlius squeezed my shoulder and sighed: “Oh, Aralyn… I don’t think Meena had left you. I can feel her presence. She is just not ready to accept what you did. If she disagrees with what you did, it does not necessarily mean that what you did is wrong. At the end of the day, you have defended yourself; it is natural,” he said.

“Well, I think she is pissed off with me because I might have overdone myself a bit in defending myself,” I said, and he chuckled.

“Well, this can also be debated,” he said l, and continued. “It is okay to have feelings. Anger, love, hatred, fury, even desire for revenge…those are all the feelings that form a part of all of us. What matters is how we cope with them. What matters in combat is to not allow the feelings to control you, but you should control them. And in life…I guess it’s different. Sometimes, you must give in to your feelings and let them guide you.

I think that you are equal now if not a stronger fighter than Marcellus, but the fact that he didn’t fight back, I think that speaks volumes. It shows that he allowed his feelings to guide him and take over. His inner self won over the warrior. Because don’t be fooled for the moment, Aralyn. Although you are probably the strongest fighter that walked among realms, Marcellus Riggs is the next best thing, if not your equal. He is the best and most vicious fighter of the underworld, wrought in numerous battles through centuries. And even if he would lose when sparred against you, a fighter like him would certainly put up one hell of a fight and cause bigger damage than he did if he wanted to. The fact that he didn’t show any resistance or fight when you attacked him means that he exposed himself to you and allowed you to see him in his most vulnerable form.

Think about it, why would the son of Satan allow you to beat him to oblivion? I cannot comment on why he did what he did in the past. But to show vulnerability and give control to one, you have to have more feelings than hate. Think about that. On the other hand, think about your emotions and how you allowed them to control you. There are a lot of lessons for you to learn from this. Your emotions controlled your actions and the way you fought. On one hand, you were fortunate, as Marcellus could have used that against you. Don’t let your emotions become your weakness. They are your strength. Your emotions affect your bond with your wolf. No bond is more sacred than your bond with your wolf. You and your Lycan are one; remember that, Aralyn.” he said and left.

I was now completely alone, sitting at the lake. Stupid waterworks welled in my eyes for the millionth time. Gosh, everyone is telling me that I am strong like no other, but I never felt weaker in my life. The same questions that I asked myself in the past couple of weeks were buzzing in my head like a bee in a bonnet.

What if Merlius was right? What if Meena was right? Should I give him a chance? What if all of this is just another game to f**k up with my already f****d up mind? What are those feelings that I feel somewhere deep inside me? Regret? Guilt? Love? Hate? So many unanswered questions? And there is that feeling inside of me. It feels as if I was tortured again.

I stood up, ready to go to the cottage, where Nethanaiah and Merlius were probably waiting for me. I spent one last glance at the tranquil waters of Nerzelis Lake, surrounded by an idyllic mixture of pink and violet hues that forged gracefully in the skies. It is true what they say: most beautiful dawns and most picturesque dusks across the realms cannot match the beauty of the sunbathed landscape of Nerzelis Lake. In the far distance, behind the cliffs and hills that surrounded Nerzelis Lake, the faded contours of my father's castle were glistening in their full glory and glamour.

It could have been different. He could have had a happy life with my mother and me.

It is the thin line between love and hate, indeed. Why is his hatred towards us so much stronger? I don’t know why, but I felt raw sorrow. It was heavy and asphyxiating. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out. The overwhelming pain threatening to pin me down rose the urge in me to end this miserable life. All of them loathe my existence anyway. And my mother is gone. It feels that I am carrying the burden of my own guilt amplified by someone else’s emotions. Where are these bizarre feelings coming from?

I felt as if something was suffocating me, something more heavy than the usual dark thoughts that I had in mind. Out of nowhere, and suddenly, it felt as if someone offloaded all the emotional luggage on my already heavily loaded shoulders. It felt like someone had tightened the rope around my neck, intending to kill me. I grabbed my neck with both of my hands frantically, gasping desperately for air. Is this another trick by Marcellus? Or a trick of Malletigan? Is it someone else?

Scenes of Marcellus being dragged like a dog through some ill-lit corridor of what looked like Avesta's dungeon flashed in my mind. He was unconscious, beaten, bleeding, grazed and covered with filth.

His unconscious form opened my eyes abruptly, staring eerily right into my soul.

“Is this what you desired? Your wish came true.” His words came out of nowhere straight to my head, stabbing me as shards of glass. I felt queasy, and I was about to faint. A sharp, protruding pain radiated through me as if someone was stabbing me and carving my body with a knife maniacally and all over my body. Then it all went dark.

Noosha’s POV

Finally! I have been waiting to get into prick’s mind for centuries, since the day he slipped away from my claws, and I had to hand him over to Hades. Oh gosh, it would have been easier if I could have hit two birds with one stone and get rid of him on that same bloody day when I got rid of his wh.ore of mother. But the fuc.king leech Kandreah blasted all my plans up when he snitched what was going on to Hades. Hades was exasperated. I barely managed to get out of trouble by saying that she insulted me by saying that she and her son are rightful heirs and that I am an impostor. Luckily, Hades bought it, as always.

What a fool. The moronic Hades fu.cked me up, though, when he saved Minthe’s life by turning her into a Mint plant. A nasty old geezer took my grimoires and used my power to transform her into a mint. He was royally pissed off when he saw the state in which Marcellus was at that time. I told him that the boy insulted me and Yordanreen and that we punished him with detention but that no harm was done to him, regardless of his disrespect. I have threatened Marcellus that if he says a word to Hades, I will resurrect his mother and torture her again. Since then, he has been mostly silent. Many demons in Wengarthria even thought that he was mute. Since then, the boy was obviously off limits. He was heavily protected by Sentaya and by Hades. But he was also able to block my powers. I couldn’t get a single smidgen of thought or emotion from his head. Ever. Even without Sentaya’s support, he was strong enough to resist me. He was a stronger telepath than me. He was born as a telepath, while I managed to muster some telepathic abilities with black magic and runes. Wanker. Well, whatever.

My boys slashed through his pathetic gang of knaves in the split of a split second and dragged Marcellus out of the dungeon. It was clear as a day that the little canker was a spawn and spitting image of that slag Minthe. He has no feature on his face that resembles the face of my pruney husband. Once, when his faithful pricks were on the ground, I clicked my fingers. Conrad ripped the infusion and other machinery off Marcellus. He fell on the floor and gasped loudly when Conrad kicked him in the ribs with the boot. My boys grabbed the fainted tw.at and strapped his hands with chains soaked in corpse flowers and compelled with a spell by Rowena. Goodie-Two-Shoes, Rowena. I am having her under my thumb to run errands for me as long as her family is imprisoned. And Rowena is one helluva witch. Blood magic, black magic, necromancy, name it, she will do it. She is the one helping me with telepathy, too. I snapped my fingers again, and the boys fitted a collar around bastard's neck. He gasped, and although unconscious, he was desperately grasping for air. What a beautiful scene, I thought, and I couldn’t help the grin that formed in the corner of my lips.

I don’t know who did what and when to him, and I don’t care. I have used my opportunity to get into his mind while he spent his last few weeks in an unconscious state and I will not allow this chance to be wasted. If he were fully conscious, I would never be able to get inside his head and locate him, let alone torture him in this fuc.king dungeon. So, I owe a big thank you to whoever weakened the bastard.

I was pretty surprised when I managed to get into his head a few weeks ago, although I still have limited access to his mind and am only able to see memories of Minthe’s torture and memories of my daughter's death. Even unconscious, puny bastard is still able to block me from seeing his mind fully. But what he wasn’t able to do was stop me from turning those thoughts and memories that I had access to into his mental torture. And he endured quite a rollercoaster of those in the past few weeks. This little prick somehow has the strongest mind-controlling powers. That’s why his mind was an impenetrable fortress for me for centuries, even with Rowena’s help. It is like fighting a volcano with candle fire. But now, finally, his time is quickly ticking away. The boys dragged him through the dungeon for the collar, like the dog that he is. He was choking and gargling loudly but offered no resistance, his body limp and lifeless. I will take my sweet time to get revenge.