For the Hate of God

Keep your strength for full moon

Aralyn’s POV

***Trigger Warning: scenes of physical violence and emotional abuse

I have the same nightmare again. It was about her. Mother. Oh Goddess, how I miss her. This nightmare seems to just be on repeat, over and over again. Every time I close my eyes, it becomes more vivid. This started to happen since I was in Wengarthria. In my nightmare, I see the fight between my parents and the moment when my… Malleteagan…rips my mother's head off and pulls her heart out. I see him eating her heart, looking at me.

Then, his face morphs into Marcellus. I am trying to run away, but I can’t make it this time. He catches me, and we are in Wengartria again. His beasts torture me again in that cell. Then he stomps over me and starts to rip my limbs from my body. Finally, he decapitates me and rips my heart out. Then I hear those curse words and wake up. This happens over and over again every time as if I were in some endless Groundhog Day hell-loop. I am afraid to sleep. I’m not sure what is worse- to live it through in an awakened world or dreaming about it.

However, I woke up, and I kept my eyes closed. I am afraid to open them as I don’t know what I will see. I can hear murmurs of voices in the distance mixed with the steady beeping of some machine: “I don’t give a f***k…mate…she will feel it…revenge…my mother…who pitied her…this is all Noosha’s game…this is all I have from my mother… a fuc.king plant…” were the enraged, snarling words which I managed to discern. The voice seems familiar. Still, I was too groggy to pinpoint who they belonged to.

When I finally managed to find the courage to open my eyes, I started to scan my environment. It looks like I am in the spacious white room with no windows. The room had only one door made of some robust metal and a coded lock. I noticed two silhouettes that were obviously discussing something whilst keying in the code and going out of the room whilst they continued their discussion. The room smelt heavily of disinfectant and bleach. I could also smell traces of mint and musk in the air, but they faded. I looked at my surroundings. My hands and legs were strapped with silver shackles. I was connected to some funky-looking devices which were assessing my vitals. And then I dozed back to oblivion again. And to the same nightmare…again. The last words I heard in the distance seemed laced with a cackle and from some familiar voice: “Sweet dreams…mate. Send my regards to mommy and grandma Noosha.”

The piercing pain woke me up sometime later. I am not sure when, though, given that I lost track of time. I spotted a guy, approximately in his late forties, with a lab coat on. He was piercing the needle in my arm. I thrashed while I tried to resist, but it was futile, given that I was strapped in the bed. I tried to reason and plead with him and beg him to stop, but no word left my lips. Then everything went black, and I was in my nightmare again.

I heard the voice again through my semi-conscious state. I recognised it now- it was Sentaya, and the voice she was arguing with seemed to belong to Marcellus. There was a third voice, but that one was unfamiliar. And then everything went dark again. My nightmare streamed again. Good, I will hold my breath in a bid to die. I can’t cope with this anymore. Goddess, I just want to die. Please help me. The next time I woke up, I was still in the same room. But now, I can move my hands, shackles removed from my wrists, but my legs and waist are still strapped. The demon I have learned is Norgarth now, standing next to my bed. When he saw me opening my eyes, he leaned slightly towards me and tugged me for my shirt. He forced me into a sitting position now. I was shaking with fear. Tears threatened to fall again.

Oh, f***k, why it’s so easy to cry? He put the tray with the substance that looked like water and mouldy mass that reminded of bread: “Eat.” was the only word he gritted through his teeth, threatening, with menace in his voice. It held so much command, heaviness and threat. I was shaking, mortified.

“Trust no one”, Sentaya’s words rang through my head. And in the act of utter stupidity, I have tossed the tray away as if it had a plate of plague on it and spat him. Norgarth looked at me with raw rage, and in a movement that was hard to catch with an eye, he grabbed me for a shirt in an anaconda-like grip. He was staring at me, inches away from my face, his nostrils flaring as he tried to contain his anger, although his emerald eyes radiated pure fury. “You will eat, one way or another,” he said. Then he shackled my wrists back and left the room. I looked at my hands, and there was not even a scratch. My last memory of my body was that it looked like it went through a meat grinder after the whiplashing session with Norgarth before I blacked out. My body should have been bruised, broken, bleeding, sore and aching, but there was no pain at all. Not a scratch either. How long have I been out? The sound of the keycode clicking interrupted my thoughts. The door opened, and the army of demons entered, followed by Satan itself. His servants came in with some diabolic equipment. They were grinning like hyenas.

“Good morning, your highness. Thank you for being willing to enrich this glorious morning with your presence and undivided attention after spending seven weeks working on your beauty sleep.” one of his tw.ats said. f***k, I was out for seven weeks. No wonder wounds have healed.

“Now, rumours are spreading across that your royal tummy is unhappy with the menu. Is that right?” the unknown tw.at then asked while fiddling with some “tools” in the background. I shook my head, unable to form the words. My mouth was dry, and I was desperate for water. Marcellus was standing in the corner of the room with a grim and unreadable expression, looking me straight in the eyes. He had one leg bent on the knee whilst leaning against the wall. His hands crossed over his chest. Marcellus clicked with his fingers, and the chatty tw.at approached closer. To say that I was daunted would be an understatement. I began to shake, tremble and cry.

The chatty tw.at came back with…uh….soup? The drill repeated again.

They released me off the shackles, tugged my hair to force me to a sitting position, and then chatty tw.at started to…feed me with soup? What a f**k? Sentaya’s words repeatedly rang in my head: “Trust no one”. Last time when I hadn’t listened to that advice, I ended up in this last circle of hell or Wengarthria or whatever the f***k this morbid place is called. I turned my head away from the soup and chatty tw.at and punched out the bowl of soup. It fell on the floor. Chatty tw.at went batshit crazy, but he seemed to do his best to contain his emotions. He turned his head to Marcellus, who hadn’t moved from his position. He just calmly said: “Take her back to the dungeon”, and made his way towards the room's exit. Chatty t.wat looked content with this development and moved away while five other dickheads unleashed the remaining shackles. They strapped my hands behind my back, tied my legs together and put some crap over my head so that I couldn’t see anything. Someone lifted me and took me over the shoulder like a rice bag. I shuddered with the fright of what will come next, and f***k I started with my waterfalls again. “Don’t worry, Aralyn, whatever happens to us now, just remain focused and keep your strength. We will need it for the full moon. It is happening in three weeks”, that fuc.king voice again. Who is that? I thought to myself. “You will find out very soon,” the voice said quizzically. Nope, it’s official. That’s it. I am going insane. Well, no wonder if you consider all the crap I went through.