Alpha Guardians Books 1-6

Chapter 7

7

Asher lay on his back, staring up at his bedroom ceiling. At the moment, he was trying to have a little tete-a-tete with his raging libido, some half-hearted attempt to calm himself enough to sleep. He rolled onto his side with a groan, the silk sheets caressing his bare skin, tormenting him.

Not just the silken slide against his body, either. His sheets smelled like Kira, specifically the way she smelled when she was aroused. It was impossible to sleep with that scent filling his nose, making him think of all the ways he wanted to f**k her. For the last week he’d managed to run himself ragged between patrolling and sparring with the other Guardians. So much so that Rhys had ordered Asher to take the whole day off and rest.

Now, Asher wished he’d ignored Rhys’s command. He’d slept all afternoon, giving his sleep-starved body what it needed. Now that need was filled, and Asher’s whacked-out mating hormones were in control.

Making his life total hell, basically.

Letting out a pent-up breath, Asher wrapped his hand around his c**k. Since Kira arrived at the Manor, he’d resisted jerking off. It felt lame, knowing that she was so close by. But now he was genuinely starting to worry about the state of his balls, since he’d basically walked around hard and ready for two weeks straight.

He had to blow off some steam somehow.

Clenching his jaw, Asher worked his fist up and down his length, his touch fast and angry. Asher’s desires were rough and primal, one more reason why he’d never taken Kira back in Union City. Sweet little virgin that she was, she hadn’t deserved the kind of f*****g that Asher so desperately wanted to give her.

The thought of Kira sent Asher into a deep spiral, imagining all the ways he wanted to f**k her, how hard he wanted to pound her tight body, the way he’d make her scream his name.

Asher heard a sound and cracked open one eye, wondering if Cairn had snuck into his rooms again. But no… Not twenty feet away was Kira, staring at him like he’d grown six heads and spoken Aramaic.

Asher’s hand stilled, and for a moment he genuinely felt ashamed. His bear knew that Asher should only get off when Kira did, and Asher gave a disgusted sigh.

Then he snapped back to reality, where Kira was in his room, in the middle of the night, unbidden. Something wasn’t right here, and the fault lay squarely with his sexy blonde mate.

“S-sorry,” Kira sputtered, turning. “I’m leaving.”

“Wait a second,” Asher growled, rising from the bed still butt naked. “Get back here.”

“No, it’s okay—”

Kira let out a yelp when Asher grabbed her and dragged her back to his bed, tossing her on the mattress. He remained standing, crossing his arms and glaring down at her.

“Why are you in my room, Kira?”

Kira bit her bottom lip, distracting him for a moment.

“Well… I kind of thought… well, I hoped…” She paused, looking guilty. “You don’t remember anything, do you?”

Asher c****d his head, trying to understand.

“What am I supposed to remember, exactly?” he asked, temper flaring. Kira was right here, in his bed. Her gaze kept dropping to admire his body, and he could smell her interest. And yet, they needed to have this stupid conversation instead of doing what they both obviously wanted to do. Needed to do, at least in his case.

“Ummmm…” Kira avoided his gaze.

“Does it have something to do with why your scent is all over my sheets? Hmm?” Asher knelt on the edge of the bed, reaching out to grasp Kira’s wrist.

“Yes,” she said, unshed tears blooming in her eyes. “You have… dreams. You call out for me. So… I come in here. And we… you…”

Asher wasn’t sure whether to laugh or rage at her cringing expression.

“What is it that I do, exactly?” he asked, though he had a good enough idea. The thick layer of Kira’s aroused scent made some of it pretty damned clear.

“You kiss me. Touch me,” she said, pulling from his grasp. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, her cheeks burning bright red. “You won’t let me… release you. I thought… I thought maybe this was the only way you could be with me. I guess even in your sleep you don’t want me that way.”

She reached up and brushed away a fat tear that broke away and rolled down her cheek, looking like the very definition of misery. Asher rose from the bed with a groan, trying to take in all the craziness at once. Kira was so insecure about him, it was painful to watch.

The worst part was that she had good reason to be; Asher did that to her. Broke a little piece of her, early in her life, left her like a butterfly with a damaged wing.

He turned and grabbed a pair of dark boxer briefs, stepping into them before returning to the bed. This wasn’t a good conversation to have completely naked.

“Kira, come here,” he said, sitting down next to her. She flinched and turned her head away, so he reached out and took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

He used a fingertip to turn her gaze back to him.

“Please don’t cry, Kira,” Asher said. “It kills me.”

“What am I supposed to do, Asher?” Kira speared him with her gaze, wiping at her tears with her free hand. “How am I supposed to feel?”

“I don’t know how else to tell you this. There is nothing wrong with you, Kira. I’m not repulsed by you, not by your personality or your body or anything else. If anything, I’m obsessed with you,” Asher said, anger bubbling up in his chest. Anger at himself, anger at their situation. “I’ve never even been with anyone else, you know that? I’ve never done any more than what I’ve been doing to you the last few nights.”

Kira’s eyes snapped up to his. He could tell he’d shocked the hell out of her.

“What?” she croaked.

“Yeah,” Asher said with a humorless laugh. “Turns out, once I found my mate, I couldn’t… complete the act with anyone else. I can’t stand for other women to touch me, even if I picture your face the whole time. I can’t even get myself off without fantasizing about you. It’s pathetic.”

Kira’s mouth was hanging open now, and if Asher weren’t so angry he would have laughed.

“You happy now?” he asked. “You’re my mate, for f**k’s sake. Of course I want you. I don’t have a choice, and I don’t f*****g want one. I just want you.”

“Then why did you leave me?” Kira asked, her voice breaking. “You left me, Asher. You f*****g left me all alone—”

Asher knew he couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear, couldn’t tell her that they could be together. It would be the most dangerous, selfish thing to say those words.

Instead, he kissed her. Hard, deep, and hungry.

“I can’t give you forever, but I can give you here and now,” he said when he broke the kiss. “Will that be enough?”

“No,” Kira whispered, even as she twined her arms around his neck and brought her lips back to his. Her nails scratched at his scalp and neck, her tongue met his in insistent strokes.

Kira pulled back and shucked her shirt, then stripped off Asher’s boxer briefs.

“Kira, are you sure—”

“Stop talking,” she said, cupping his jaw and kissing the side of his neck.

When Kira pushed him back against the bed and straddled his hips, Asher was fairly certain he was still dreaming. When she grasped his c**k and guided him into her core, pressing down inch by slow inch, Asher thought he was dying.

Kira set a slow, grinding pace, destroying him, burning him, taking everything from him.

Setting him free.

Asher grabbed her hips, staring up at her as she threw her blonde mane back, t**s bouncing. He moved with her, thrusting up into her tightness, feeling every inch of her glorious, wet heat. Fantasy and reality blended and warped as his body tightened, his tightly held control bleeding away until he and Kira seemed to be one.

Bodies aligned, souls aligned. His bear was unleashed, roaring for completion, desperate to claim her, mark his mate forever. Some small part of Asher managed to hold back, deny the moment.

When Kira detonated, crying out his name as her body clenched his, Asher was lost. For long moments, he wasn’t Asher. She wasn’t Kira. They were nothing, and everything. They were a speck in the cosmos, a brilliant burst of light in a slowly dying universe.

Asher came with a shout, his body evaporating. Kira collapsed on top of him, trying to catch her breath. Asher just held her like that, paralyzed and unwilling to change a thing.

Even when her tears came again, when he felt their warm wetness on his chest, Asher didn’t move. He comforted her in the only way he could, lacking the words to give her peace.

As his eyes drifted shut, a small part of him knew he’d wake in the morning to find her gone.