I know what I’m doing isn’t right. I’m fully aware of it… and yet, deep inside, something insists that it is the only thing that feels right. My thoughts whirl, but my body no longer obeys reason.
Between my thighs, Julian claims me with an intensity that unravels me. His devotion makes me tremble, his hunger consumes me, and every caress robs me of the will to stop him. I want to resist—I know I should resist—but I can’t.
Guilt pounds in my chest, even as pleasure rises like a fire devouring everything in its path. And in that instant, in his mouth that worships me as if I were sacrilege itself, I discover the most exquisite kind of ruin.
My breath falters, and he notices. He pauses, just for a heartbeat, lifting his gaze to meet mine.
“Shhh… easy, darling,” he whispers with that deep voice that cuts right through me. “My sweet one, there’s nothing to fear.”
“This isn’t right…” I murmur, barely a trembling sigh. “Theo could wake up…”
“Everything will be fine,” he assures me firmly, his hands stroking my thighs with maddening gentleness. “I’m here. No one will harm you. I’ll protect you both. Trust me.”
Julian had brought me to his room with unsettling certainty. The audio monitor still glowed on the nightstand; the slightest stir from my son would be heard immediately. And yet guilt pierced me like an icy blade. How could I allow this, so close to him? Julian had haunted me for years, and now I was letting him claim me in the most intimate way. What kind of woman did that make me?
I was about to stop him, to beg him to pull away, when Julian demanded me once more, his hunger swallowing every thought. Shame and reason vanished in the burning tide he unleashed. My body responded before my mind, and before I realized it, I was drowning in the heat spilling out of me.
A moan tore from my throat, unbidden. The fire grew unbearable until it broke me apart in a thousand pieces. It was the first time in my life that my body surrendered like this, the first time I reached that blinding abyss I had both feared and longed for. The orgasm ripped the guilt from my insides, if only for a fleeting moment, leaving me trembling, breathless—aware that Julian was the only man who had ever given me such devastating pleasure… pleasure that felt forbidden, because with Edmund, there had only ever been pain.
He looked up then, smiling with dangerous satisfaction.
“Your taste…” he murmured darkly, savoring the words, “drives me crazy.”
Heat flooded my cheeks, and I averted my gaze, unable to hold his eyes while he toyed with my limits, branding me with the evidence of my surrender. My legs were still parted, leaving me achingly exposed to his scrutiny.
Before I could speak, I felt him rise. His lips traced a slow path along the length of my legs, pausing at my belly, where he scattered tender, burning kisses.
“Julian…” I whispered, calling him with a trembling voice conscious of the stretch marks pregnancy had etched on me.
He lifted his gaze to me again, his smile deepening. In his eyes I saw something that made my breath falter—a mixture of raw lust and something darker, something I could not name, but that made me shiver.
Then he straightened, unhurriedly unfastening his trousers. My breath hitched. Even before he finished, I could already sense the magnitude of what he was about to reveal. My thoughts twisted into a single fear, cloaked in desire: how will I possibly take all of him inside me?
Edmund wasn´t this big.
“Stop fighting it, Selene…” Julian murmured in that deep, commanding tone. “You want this as much as I do.”
Ashamed, I looked away. But denial was useless—not when my body betrayed me with every pulse, not when I could feel myself growing wetter by the second, as though I had been waiting for him all my life. The memory of what he had done with his mouth, of how easily he had carried me to the heavens, sent a shiver racing through me.
And then a trembling thought consumed me: if that was only with his lips… what would happen now that he will use his length?
Blush spread furiously across my cheeks, and in my vulnerability, Julian found his opening. With a slow, deliberate motion, he parted my robe, unveiling my nakedness to his hungry eyes as though he had just uncovered a forbidden treasure. His gaze swept over me, savoring every inch, before leaning over me, enveloping me with his heat and his shadow.
I felt him pressing close, filling the space between my breath and my skin. My heart pounded wildly, knowing there was no turning back. And when he finally claimed me, a shiver tore through me. The pressure was overwhelming, my body struggling to adjust to his size, discomfort flaring with every second.
Julian sensed it immediately.
“Relax, darling…” he whispered, tenderness cutting through his ferocity. “Leave it to me. The pain will fade… I only want to make you feel good.”
I drew a deep breath, clinging to his words, forcing myself to surrender. Slowly, my barriers yielded; my body began to mold to his. The sharpness dulled, melting into a new kind of heat—sweeter, intoxicating. A strangled moan escaped my lips, filling the room, and I saw the tension ease from Julian’s face, as though my pleasure was the assurance he craved.
My moans grew steadier, proof that the pain had given way to pleasure. Julian understood, and once he knew I was lost in it, he let go too, his rhythm carrying me with him into a storm I no longer wished to escape, at least not tonight.