Cure To Her Heart

2- Confession

Skylar

Maybe I should hang up… I did not think this through… How am I going to break the news?

Rafael does not leave me an option though, as he answers the call before I get to hang up.

“Sky? Is everything OK?” he asks.

“What? Can’t I call my cousin?” I try to joke and take a nonchalant tone.

“You never call Sky. You text, message, and send audio. This is your thing. You and your generation.” He jokes.

“May I remind you that you are just five years older than me?” I huff.

“Yes. Whatever… Is it your interview? Did something happen?”

I take a deep breath and decide to stop this cycle of lies.

“I was not at a job interview, Raph…” I finally admit.

A silent tear runs down my cheek, mourning the death of my life as I know it. Starting tonight, everyone will look at me differently… I will be the sick cousin who needs help.

“Where are you, Sky?” Rafael asks, his voice on edge.

“on my bench in the park.”

“What?...” he asks, and then he goes eerily silent…

“Don’t move. I am coming to get you.”

“No. Raph, there is no need. I…”

“None negotiable. Do. Not. Move.” He orders through gritted teeth.

I close my eyes and brace myself for the changes ahead.

“Raph.”

“I said I am coming, Sky.” He snaps.

“I will wait. I promise, Raph. But please, don’t tell anyone.”

“Sky…”

“Please, Raph.” I beg him, my voice hoarse.

He does not answer for a couple of seconds until I hear him exhale heavily.

“OK. I won’t. Don’t move, Sky. I am coming for you”. He says once again.

“Drive carefully.”

“I will. Hang in there, cuz!”

I hang up and stare at the phone, preparing myself for the tough discussion ahead.

I raise my head to the sky, taking in the warm rays of sunshine.

I am in good hands… We caught it early… It is going to be OK… It is going to be OK.

I visualize what my life will be like in the upcoming months… Doctor Mary shared detailed information with me but, unfortunately, I already knew every treatment and every milestone…

No, not everything… Fertility preservation was something new that we never covered before… I am the youngest one in my family to be struck with breast cancer… the youngest and the only childless one…

Doctor Mary explained to me that my best option to have a biological child in the future is to harvest eggs from my ovaries before we start breast cancer treatment.

It felt weird talking about freezing my eggs when I never had a long-term relationship. And given where my future is heading, I doubt I would find someone to love me and my scarred body. But Doctor Mary insisted that I need to think about it.

I expected Doctor M. to push me to start treatment ASAP but she encouraged me to freeze my eggs even though this would push the start of treatment by two to three months. I will have to give myself fertility hormone shots on a daily basis to stimulate my ovaries… This treatment will require almost daily tests and medical visits to track progress and when the eggs are fully mature, I will have to undergo surgery for egg retrieval. A process that I must repeat over at least two menstrual cycles to increase my chances of retrieving strong mature eggs.

All that while knowing that fertility injections can be risky for hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer.

To make things more complicated, there is the financial factor as well! Freezing eggs is costly and not covered by my insurance… I cannot afford it! Hell, I am not even sure I can afford the double mastectomy!

Angry tears roll down my cheeks… God, this is too complicated!

“Sky?”

I look over my shoulders and see my cousin running through the park, his face pale and his eyes drowning in fear.

Fuck Cancer!

He pulls me to my feet and hugs me tight.

“Everything is going to be already. Don’t cry Sky… don’t!” He begs me.

Rafael is one of the strongest people I know. He was our rock whenever cancer struck one family member after the other. I know that I owe him so much… Raph has kept me sane over the past decade!

Yet, this time, he seems to be caught off guard. His stoic expression tugs on my heart and I hate myself for what I am about to throw at him.

He pulls back and cups my face in both his hands.

“What is happening, Sky?”

I will my tears away and stare at him, unable to say the most hated word on this planet.

He helps me sit down again and holds both my hands in his.

“Sky?” he pleads.

I shake my head, unable to speak through the lump in my throat.

“Is it Aunt Adri?” he asks, his voice trembling.

“NO!” I almost scream the word out.

“No, mom is good.”

Mom fought Stage 3B breast cancer for five years. It was hard, and we almost lost her twice, but she is a fighter… and she made it through after five long years of treatment… only to suffer from two strokes in the next five years. I can attest that recovering from a stroke is as tedious as fighting cancer. Mom spent eighteen months in a stroke recovery and rehabilitation program to be able to walk and talk again.

“Then what is it, Sky? You are scaring me.” Rafael urges me.

“It’s me, Raph… It’s me…” I cry, my voice cracking.

“No… No. NO!” Rafael yells.

A sob escapes my mouth, and the dam explodes as a flood of tears rushes down my face.

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” I scream, shaking.

Raph pulls me into his embrace and hugs me tight, running his hand on my back in a soothing pattern.

“It is going to be OK, Sky. Everything is going to be OK.”

I want to yell at him. To tell him that he doesn’t know a thing! That nothing is going to be OK… that nothing is going to be like before.

But I keep my negative thoughts bottled up and just rest my head on his chest.

When I finally calm down, he takes a tissue and cleans my flushed face.

“Tell me everything.” He says, squeezing my hand supportively.

And I do… I tell him about the lump I felt when doing my monthly breast self-exam…. About the mammogram and the ultrasound… about the biopsy… and finally about my oncology visit today.

“I don’t get it, Sky… Your genetic test came out clean.” He states, confused.

I wince and look away unable to face him.

“Oh, Sky! What have you done!” he whispers, pulling me into another hug.

When mom got her breast cancer diagnosis, Doctor Mary insisted all the women in our family take a genetic test in search of BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene mutations. And she was right! It turned out that many women in our family, starting with mom, suffered from BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation. This early detection saved lives, starting with Rafael and Bethari’s mom.

As for me and my cousins, we were very young at the time. However, Doctor Mary made sure we did the test as soon as we turned 18.

All my cousins’ tests turned negative... Except mine. But I couldn’t tell them! Not when I saw how everyone was happy as soon as the first BRCA gene test results came out. Everyone was crying happy tears and I did not want to wreck all of that with my stupid test result.

“God, Sky, we had a party celebrating the negative results for you, Bethari, Soon, Marko, and Anya!”

“And I was genuinely happy for everyone. I danced all night long.” I smile sadly.

“It was insensitive! You needed us! f**k, this is so f****d up, Sky.”

I just shrug my shoulders.

“I don’t regret hiding the results. We got to live a normal life where our discussions did not center around cancer. I hid it from the family, but I was followed up closely by the doctors. I was not reckless, Raph.”

“I never said you were reckless, Sky. I just… I wanted to be there for you. You are my baby cousin!” he says, ruffling my hair affectionately.

“Again! Just five years older than me.” I huff playfully.

We sit there soundlessly, staring at the lake, his hands engulfing mine.

“Bethari and the girls will be home soon. Are you ready?” he asks me.

“About that…”

“No, Sky. You need them… They also need to be there for you. You are like sisters.”

“I know, it’s just that…”

“You need your support system!” he insists.

“I know! God, you sound like Doctor Mary. It’s just that they will not be alone. Nathalie and Anne will be there.”

“Oh.”

Yes, Oh. Nathalie is Erik’s sister and Bethari’s future sister-in-law. She is a snob that I can hardly tolerate her on a good day. I sure as hell don’t want to spill my personal life in front of her!

Anne is Nathalie’s cousin. She is OK, I guess… But still, she has no business in my personal life.

“Let her have her day, Raph. I can tell them tomorrow or in a few days.”

“You have tests to do for the next three days. Bethari would want to go with you.”

“And this is why I want to postpone this discussion as much as possible.” I grumble.

“You are like a sister to her. You are her maid of honor, Sky! You need her as much as she needs you.”

“I know you are right, Raph. I know I am trying to postpone the inevitable… But I don’t want to ruin her day.” I explain, tears running freely down my cheeks.

“If you want to postpone the discussion because you are worried about my sister, believe me, Sky, she would want to know. If you are worried about the snobs, I will take care of them.”

~*~*Author's note~*~*~

Skylar comes from an eclectic and tight-knit family. She lost her grandma when she was very young and had to become her mother's caretaker for the past ten years. The emotional toll is hard and we will see how this diagnosis will impact her.

I will be updating this story on Tuesday and Saturday. Don't forget to add the book to your library.

If you have read my two previous book (Ethan/Sawyer, James/HArper) please don't hesitate to give those stories a Moon Ticket!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please check the local campaigns to familiarize yourself with symptoms of breast cancers and with self-exam techniques.