Your's, eventually

just Ethan

I woke up pretty early, with a few minutes to spare. Yesterday hadn't exactly gone as planned, and considering Ethan's five thousand pages of How to Get Your Crush's Attention, I already had enough problems to last me a lifetime.

I yawned and headed downstairs, still half asleep.

I was immediately welcomed by Xander, who seemed unusually happy about something. Honestly, I wished I had even half of his enthusiasm. The boy looked as though life had personally handed him a million dollars and told him to keep the change.

He handed me some cookies and pulled me into a hug.

My sleepy eyes flew open.

Wait.

WHAT?

I stood there, completely lost. What had Xander so excited? And, more importantly, DID XANDER JUST HUG ME?

Should I hug him back? Was I supposed to say something? Should I thank him for the cookies first? Was there a correct procedure for situations like this?

Unfortunately, before my brain could organise a single coherent thought, he let go.

Well, good things didn't always last.

I sighed inwardly.

Then he spoke.

"We're going to Paris!"

I nearly choked.

"Paris?"

I stared at him, wondering whether I had heard correctly. Paris? As in the Eiffel Tower, romantic sunsets, beautiful streets, and all those ridiculously attractive people in movies?

Me and Xander in Paris?

My imagination immediately began producing an entire romantic film. I could practically see myself standing beneath the Eiffel Tower, looking effortlessly beautiful while Xander—

"The voting we did at school," Xander interrupted, dragging me out of my fantasy. "Paris won. We're going on a tour."

Oh.

A school tour.

Right.

He continued, "Although it's going to be a project-packed excursion."

His face dimmed for a moment before brightening again.

"Marielle's going to be there too. My dream of kissing her under the Eiffel Tower might finally come true."

And just like that, my imaginary romantic film was cancelled.

No refunds.

I forced a smile.

"I'm so happy for you guys," I said through gritted teeth.

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

How the hell had Paris won?

Ugh!

I was beginning to hate high school. Marielle was everywhere, and I owed a huge thank-you to Ethan for contributing to my problems. If he had somehow managed to hold on to Marielle, I probably wouldn't be in this ridiculous situation.

But how had those two even broken up?

The last time I remembered, they had been practically glued together. They went on dates, ate together, did all sorts of things, and Ethan had even driven her home.

I was almost certain Marielle had something to do with their breakup.

Perhaps they could still get back together. Although, judging by the way she acted around Xander, I doubted she would leave him for anybody.

Especially now that she had a clue I was falling for him.

Oh, Gabriella. Get a grip on yourself.

I grabbed a cookie and hurried upstairs before my thoughts could embarrass me any further.

After taking my bath, I began packing my things into my bag, including a few items I was reasonably certain I would never use. Apparently, my brain had decided that the solution to every problem was to carry more luggage.

By the time I returned downstairs, Xander was busy with something, and Ethan still hadn't shown up.

Great.

Just great.

Why was my life turning out like this?

I couldn't believe I was actually going to have to walk to school. The thought seemed almost impossible at first, but I was determined to arrive early enough to return Ethan's book.

That book had caused me enough trouble already. The sooner I returned it, the sooner I could pretend the whole thing had never happened.

Or at least try.

I finally arrived at school, slightly out of breath, but there was no sign of Ethan.

I checked the hallways and the places where he usually hung out. I even questioned a few members of his clique, but none of them seemed to know where he was.

That was strange.

Ethan might not have loved school, but missing an entire day without warning wasn't exactly like him.

The bell rang, and the hallways gradually emptied as everyone hurried to class.

I sighed.

My search for Ethan would have to wait.

I hurried into the classroom just as Miss Shapen walked in.

She had a bright smile on her face, although the wrinkles around her eyes did absolutely nothing to make her look less intimidating.

"Hello, class."

"Good day, Miss Shapen!" everyone chorused.

I barely noticed.

My eyes were busy scanning the classroom, searching for any sign of Ethan.

Nothing.

I looked towards the door, hoping he might stroll in at the last minute with some ridiculous excuse.

Still nothing.

Miss Shapen noticed my wandering attention and cleared her throat.

I immediately straightened.

I didn't need her to say a word. I could practically hear the imaginary version of her telling me to shut my stupid mouth and pay attention.

Wonderful. Now I was arguing with imaginary people too.

I composed myself as she continued.

"I'm going to divide you into teams for your next project. The list has been posted beside the Arts and Crafts Centre."

A project.

Fantastic.

Because my life wasn't complicated enough already.

The moment Miss Shapen finished speaking, I hurried into the hallway.

Unfortunately, half the school appeared to have received the same instructions, and the noticeboard was surrounded by a crowd of students.

I squeezed my way through, getting pushed back and forth like a shopping bag in a hurricane.

Eventually, I reached the list.

I scanned the names once.

Twice.

Then a third time, just in case my eyes had suddenly decided to become decorative.

Nothing.

No Gabriella.

I searched again, moving my finger down the list.

Still nothing.

Then another name occurred to me.

Ethan.

I looked for his name too.

Nothing.

Not a single sign of either of us.

I frowned and squeezed my way out of the crowd, heading straight back towards Miss Shapen.

Luckily, she hadn't gone far.

Judging by her expression, she already knew what I was about to ask.

"Yes, Gabriella?"

"Miss, my name isn't on the list."

"Ah, yes. Thank goodness I caught you here."

I stared at her.

That sounded suspiciously like the beginning of a disaster.

"Your name hasn't been posted yet because you don't have a partner to be paired with."

I blinked.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"If you don't have a partner, you won't be able to complete the project, and you'll have to say goodbye to those marks."

I froze.

My marks?

MY MARKS?

I had worked too hard to lose them over something as stupid as an unassigned project partner.

I slammed my palm against my forehead.

This was officially getting out of hand.

I couldn't afford to lose those marks. A bad result could put my scholarship at risk, and the thought of having to repeat the entire term was enough to make me reconsider every decision I had ever made.

Including getting out of bed this morning.

I needed air.

Real air.

Not the recycled classroom variety.

I stepped outside the school grounds for a while, hoping to calm myself down.

Everything was happening too quickly. Between Xander, Marielle, Ethan, and now my academic future, I was beginning to feel like a missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle.

A very important missing piece.

The kind that made everyone else look at the picture and wonder why the whole thing seemed wrong.

I walked down the nearby alley, lost in my thoughts.

Then I felt a hand close around my wrist.

I barely had time to react before someone turned me around, leaving me facing away from him.

His mouth was close to my neck.

Far too close.

"Hey, Gabby."

The smell hit me before I could properly process what was happening. Cigarette smoke mixed with the sharp scent of alcohol.

I stiffened.

Who on earth was outside school at this hour, smoking and drinking?

Smoking was a serious offence at school, and the administration certainly wasn't known for handing out friendly warnings.

But the voice—

I knew that voice.

I turned my head slightly.

It was Ethan's teammate, the same guy he had fought with over Marielle.

Of course.

Because apparently, the universe had decided that my day needed another problem.

I didn't care enough to ask what had happened between them. I had more important things to worry about.

Like finding Ethan.

The boy sneezed behind me, and a little ash from his cigarette landed on my bare shoulder.

A sharp sting followed.

I clenched my teeth.

Oh, absolutely not.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I curled my fist and landed a punch against his lower abdomen.

He doubled over with a groan.

For once, my problems appeared to be working in my favour.

I pulled free and stepped away, rubbing my wrist. It already felt sore from the way he had grabbed it.

"Tell me where Ethan is."

He remained bent over for a moment, trying to catch his breath.

"I don't know, mate," he managed.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, really?"

He shook his head.

I folded my arms.

"Well, I hope you won't mind if I write a little letter to the school explaining that their star player has taken up smoking to boost his performance."

His expression changed.

I continued, warming to my own argument.

"I'm sure the administration would be absolutely delighted to hear about it. You could lose your position, or worse, get expelled. Wouldn't that be tragic?"

I paused.

"Anyway, I'm going to ask you one more time. Where is Ethan?"

I wasn't proud of threatening him, but I was running out of patience, and he clearly wasn't interested in giving me a straight answer.

He held his stomach and looked up at me.

"The cemetery," he muttered.

I frowned.

"What?"

"His mum. It's her anniversary. The guy's kind of a freak about keeping secrets, but I saw him at the cemetery today."

For a moment, I said nothing.

Then everything clicked.

Ethan wasn't at school because he was visiting his mother's grave.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

And with that, I hurried away, leaving him to deal with the consequences of his own behaviour.

I had somewhere to be.

And, for once, I wasn't thinking about Xander.

By the time I reached the cemetery, my legs felt as though they had personally decided to resign from their positions.

I slowed down, trying to catch my breath as I walked between the rows of graves.

The place was unusually quiet.

A few people stood near a beautifully polished gravestone, offering one another silent comfort. Others passed by with their heads bowed, lost in their own thoughts.

I walked past them, looking around for a familiar face.

Then I saw him.

He was sitting beneath an oak tree, his back resting against the trunk. He wore a black tuxedo, a dark tie, and a pair of sunglasses that seemed almost too large for his face.

I recognised his build immediately.

Ethan.

There was no mistaking him.

"Ethan?" I called.

He didn't respond.

I took a few steps closer.

"Ethan, is that you?"

Nothing.

I hesitated.

Perhaps he hadn't heard me.

Or perhaps he had heard me perfectly well and simply didn't want to talk.

Either possibility made me uncomfortable.

"Ethan, please talk to me."

I waited.

For a moment, I thought he would ignore me again.

Then, finally, he spoke.

"Hey, Gabby."

His voice was quieter than usual.

I had approximately a million questions lined up in my head, all fighting for the privilege of escaping my mouth first.

Why hadn't he come to school?

Why was he here?

Why hadn't he told anyone?

And why did he look like he was attending the world's most depressing business meeting?

Unfortunately, my brain had never been particularly good at following instructions.

"So, what happened?"

Brilliant, Gabriella.

Absolutely brilliant.

Of all the things I could have said, I had chosen the one question most likely to make a difficult situation worse.

Ethan's expression changed.

I immediately regretted opening my mouth.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I shouldn't have asked that. It's my fault. I'm sorry."

I turned to leave, deciding that disappearing into the nearest bush would probably be the most dignified thing I could do.

But before I could get far, Ethan reached out and caught my wrist.

I winced.

He had grabbed the exact spot that was already sore from his teammate.

Wonderful.

My wrist was officially becoming the most popular location in my entire body.

Ethan seemed not to notice my discomfort.

He gently patted the ground beside him, inviting me to sit.

I hesitated before lowering myself onto the grass, resting my back against the tree. A few dry leaves drifted down around us.

For a while, neither of us spoke.

Then Ethan sighed.

"You shouldn't be sorry, Gab. I should."

He stared at the ground.

"It's my mum's anniversary. I had to come."

His voice faltered.

He lowered his head, and before I could think of anything useful to say, he rested it against my shoulder.

I went still.

Ethan West.

The same boy who seemed to have a sarcastic answer for absolutely everything.

The same boy who could turn a simple mathematics lesson into a personal argument against the existence of the letter X.

Was crying.

I didn't know what to do.

Should I say something?

Should I ask him a question?

Should I pretend not to notice?

For once, my brain offered absolutely no helpful suggestions.

So I settled for gently patting his shoulder.

Sometimes, I supposed, there wasn't anything clever to say.

Sometimes, being there was enough.

After a while, Ethan lifted his head and looked towards the gravestone in front of us.

I followed his gaze.

The inscription read:

LATE MRS. SILVIA WEST

His mother.

Ethan stared at the name for a moment before turning back to me.

"I'm sure you're wondering how she died."

I nodded.

What could I say? Curiosity and I had been inseparable for years. If there was a question to ask, my brain would find it, polish it, and place it directly at the front of my mind.

But this wasn't an ordinary question.

And Ethan wasn't telling an ordinary story.

He drew a breath.

"My dad was a business tycoon. He had a hand in a lot of dirty dealings, and at some point, he borrowed money to get his business started."

He paused.

"When the people he owed started demanding their money back, they threatened him. They told him there would be consequences if he didn't pay."

Ethan's jaw tightened.

"But my dad was so damn nonchalant about everything. He thought the threats were empty. He didn't take them seriously."

He looked away.

"He even booked a flight to Japan, just in case something happened. I guess he thought he could run away from the problem."

Ethan let out a humourless laugh.

"Except he had no idea who he was dealing with."

I remained silent.

"He was dealing with Caleb. Xander's uncle."

My stomach tightened.

Xander's uncle?

I had never imagined that the two families could be connected in a way like this.

Ethan continued, his voice growing quieter.

"Caleb even hired agents to keep us locked up like prisoners. Eventually, they got to us, and they..."

He stopped.

For a moment, he seemed unable to continue.

Then he swallowed.

"They killed her. Because of my dad."

The words hung between us.

I didn't know what to say.

I had expected an explanation, perhaps something complicated or unpleasant, but nothing could have prepared me for that.

Ethan had lost his mother because of something his father had done.

And now he was sitting beside her grave, trying to explain a loss that no child should have had to endure.

I felt a painful knot form in my chest.

I was sorry for him.

Truly sorry.

Growing up without his mother, dealing with a father who seemed to be absent from his life, and carrying all of this around without telling anyone...

It was an enormous burden.

But something about the story still bothered me.

Not because I doubted Ethan.

Because I could tell there was more to it than he had told me.

For now, though, I kept that thought to myself.

"I'm so sorry, Ethan," I said softly.

He didn't respond.

I glanced at him, then at the gravestone.

"Tell you what," I continued, trying to find a way to reach him. "You can't spend the entire day sitting here in sunglasses, expecting your mum to suddenly stand up, give you a lecture, and s***k you until you feel better."

He looked at me.

I held my breath.

Had I just ruined the moment?

Then Ethan lowered his head towards the ground.

"It's my life now," he muttered.

Something about the way he said it made my chest tighten again.

I shifted closer and gently nudged him until he sat upright.

"No, it isn't," I told him. "You're just having a hard time adjusting to it. And you're doing better than you think."

He remained quiet.

"So, take off those sunglasses."

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"I can't."

I stared at him.

"Why not?"

"I have a reputation to maintain."

I blinked.

Of course he did.

Even while grieving, Ethan apparently had a public image to protect.

"If I walk into school looking like this, I'll become a topic of discussion."

I snorted.

"Ethan, you're already a topic of discussion. You could sneeze in the hallway, and half the school would probably write a report about it."

He turned towards me.

"That sounds like jealousy."

"That sounds like you desperately need professional help."

He grinned faintly.

There he was.

A little piece of the Ethan I knew.

I pointed towards his sunglasses.

"Come on. Just take them off. It's not that hard."

He tilted his head.

"Harder than solving a mathematics problem?"I stared at him.

"Just take them off."

I refused to entertain that question.

For all I knew, Ethan could turn removing sunglasses into a three-hour debate about mathematical difficulty.

Finally, he took them off.

His eyes were red and puffy.

I looked at him for a moment.

"See? It's not that bad."

He gave me an offended look.

"Easy for you to say. I look like a beaten-up potato."

I burst out laughing.

And, to my surprise, Ethan laughed too.

It wasn't loud, and it didn't last very long, but it was genuine.

For a moment, the heaviness between us seemed to lift.

I looked at him and saw the familiar boy again: sarcastic, irritating, and apparently incapable of allowing a serious moment to exist without making at least one ridiculous comment.

"You know, Gab," he said, shaking his head, "you absolutely stink at consoling people."

I laughed harder.

"Excuse me? I'm doing my best!"

"Terrifying. I can only imagine what you'd do if you were actually trying."

I rolled my eyes.

There was no point arguing with Ethan. I'd lose, and we'd both know it.

We sat beneath the tree for a little longer, talking about nothing in particular.

Sometimes he made a joke. Sometimes I responded with something equally ridiculous. And sometimes we simply sat in silence.

For once, I didn't feel the need to fill every quiet moment with words.

I glanced at him.

Today had been strange.

Xander had hugged me unexpectedly.

Paris had won the school vote, which meant an excursion was officially happening.

I had nearly lost my marks because I didn't have a project partner.

And now I had found Ethan sitting beside his mother's grave, learning something about him that I had never known before.

It had been an exhausting day.

But somehow, sitting beside him, I felt a little calmer.A little more at ease.

I was happy that he had let me stay.

Happy that he had talked to me.

Happy that, for a little while, I had managed to make him laugh. My Ethan, no

I shook my head. Careful, Gabriella.

Don't start getting sentimental.He's Ethan.

Just Ethan. Not mine.

Not that I had ever claimed him.

I was still in love with Xander, and that was that.At least, That's a truth

We eventually got up and started walking towards the school, side by side.

I couldn't count how many times I laughed along the way.

Ethan made jokes about my uniform, my increasingly strange behaviour, and the ridiculous book I had been reading.

Apparently, my attempts to learn how to get someone's attention had become his new favourite source of entertainment.

"I still can't believe you actually read that book," he said.

I shot him a look."You gave it to me!"

"I didn't force you to read it.""You practically handed it to me like it contained the secrets of the universe!"

He grinned.

"Well, did it?" I thought about it.

"Yes. Apparently, the secret to getting someone's attention is to stop behaving like a complete idiot."

Ethan stared at me.Then he burst out laughing.

"Gabby, if that's true, you're doomed”. I shoved his shoulder. "Shut up!",He laughed harder.

And just like that, the heaviness of the afternoon gave way to familiar bickering.

For a while, everything felt almost normal.

Only a few months remained before we finished high school. Soon, everyone would be going their separate ways, and things would change whether I was ready for them or not.Maybe I'd eventually stop chasing after Xander.

Maybe I'd forget the ridiculous things that had happened. Maybe Ethan and I would look back on all of this and laugh.

Or maybe life had other plans.For now, though, I walked beside Ethan, laughing at his stupid jokes and pretending that I had everything figured out.

I didn't.But, for once, I didn't feel the need to.