Unexpected (MxM)

Chapter Nine- I Love You

Chapter Nine-

Moth

“You can pull up to the house.”

I don’t respond, but I do pull down the road and into the driveway, putting my kickstand down. Frankie climbs off the bike just as the front door swings open, revealing a very angry-looking Sawyer. That can’t be good.

Frankie freezes in place as he storms over to us, grabbing the helmet on Frankie’s head to yank it off. When the strap breaks, Frankie lets out a yelp and rubs his chin where it must’ve scraped him.

Sawyer throws the helmet on the ground and glares at Frankie before yelling at him. “Where the f**k have you been?”

Frankie glares back, holding his gaze in defiance. “Why are you so mad? I haven’t been gone that long.”

“Mad? I’m furious. It’s three in the morning! Are you stupid? I found out you weren’t in your room and after I called you a million times I found your phone in there. I thought you got kidn*pped! Why would you leave the house without having a way to contact us?”

The question was rhetorical, but I can see how bad Frankie is starting to feel. I know he doesn’t like that everyone was worrying about him, but he was having the best day ever. Now this is all he’s going to remember from tonight.

“I’m sorry. Will has Moth’s phone number. We didn’t know it would die.” He mumbles, his eyes falling to the ground rather than looking into Sawyers any longer.

He’s making himself meek and small again. Of course right when I get him to look up and see the world, Sawyer makes him look down at the ground again. I know it wasn’t the smartest decision, but Frankie deserves to have fun. I don’t want anything to turn him into a bitter cynic like Sawyer is.

I love his optimism. I love his glass always being half full. I love the way he sees beauty in everyone. I love his innocence and purity that never dims no matter what things we do with each other. I love that he always sees the good in people. Even people like me who have hardly any good to see. I love everything about him. I love Frankie.

“Will told me you snuck out after Moth wasn’t answering his calls either. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I went to that stupid bar and they said they hadn’t seen you in hours. I went to his house and his mom didn’t even know he was gone. What is wrong with you? I called the police because I thought you were missing.”

“It wasn’t his fault. It was my idea, and I’m the one who kept him out all night instead of coming back after the show.”

“Shut up.” Sawyer snaps at me before turning his attention back to Frankie. “Go inside.”

“Please don’t yell at him. It’s not his fault. I wanted to go and I didn’t like that you wouldn’t let me-”

“It wasn’t a question, Franklin. Go inside now.”

He shifts slightly, but I reach over to grab his hand and gesture towards the house. “It’s okay. Goodnight, Barbie.”

Frankie looks at me for a moment before reaching his hands up to take my helmet off and press his lips to mine. He kisses me deeply even using his tongue to trail against my lip before pulling away and handing the helmet back to me.

“Goodnight, Ken.”

I want to say it. I want to tell him that I love him, but it doesn’t seem like the best time. I don’t want the first time I say it to be in front of Sawyer.

Once Frankie gets inside, Sawyer turns his attention to me. I’m sure he’s used to intimidating the kids into obeying whatever he says, but I’m not the kind of kid who blindly follows authority.

“I want to make myself perfectly clear. I don’t want to see you ever again. You’re going to go home and plug your phone in and as soon as it turns back on, you’re going to tell him that you want to break up.” He frowns, letting a little look of guilt slip onto his face before forcing it away. “Make sure he knows that it’s not his fault. Tell him that he deserves better or something. Just end it because I’ll get a restraining order if I see you with him again. I’ll have his phone too, so don’t say anything dumb. I don’t care how old you are. I could ruin your life. I want the pictures you have of him to be deleted too. It doesn’t matter that you’re a teenager too, that’s child pornography.”

I keep eye contact with him and sigh softly. He’s never going to let up. He hates me and he’s never going to let me be with Frankie. If we stay together he’s going to spend every waking moment trying to split us up. He probably wants Frankie to date some preppy student council president like Bash. If he’s never going to accept it, I might as well do what he says and send Frankie that message. I’ll know it’s not real though. Eventually, Frankie will too.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare anyone, and I’ll stop talking to him. I’m not sure if you care or not, but he had an amazing night. I think this is the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

Sawyer picks up Frankie’s helmet and carries it toward the house, opening the trash can to drop it in there. “He won’t need that anymore. Go home, Moth. Maybe consider living somewhere else too. I was serious before. She didn’t even know you were gone.”

When he walks inside I take a deep breath. I’m never going to dump Frankie. He’s probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It would be crazy to do that, but I have to make this believable. I get off my bike and go to the trash can, opening it to reach in and get his helmet, brushing it off with my hand. It has his name on it. I knew from the first time he got on my bike that he’d be the only person I’d ever want to get on it again, so it makes sense for him to have his own helmet.

I take it back to the motorcycle and turn it on to make my way home. I pull up outside and climb off my bike, walking into the house. “Mom! I’m home.”

I don’t listen to her reply, instead just walking down the steps to my room. I plug my phone in and think of what to send. I want Sawyer to believe it, but I don’t want Frankie to think it’s real.

There’s not any code that we have or a way for me to show that I still care. There’s only one thing I haven’t been able to bring myself to say to him. He knows that I feel it, but hopefully putting it into words will make him realize that the rest of what I have to say isn’t true.

When my phone buzzes to tell me it’s charged, I pick it up and send the message.

“I’m sorry, Frankie, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m dragging you down and you deserve so much more than me. I love you, but we need to end this.”

I press send and feel my heart sink. I hope he understands. I hope he doesn’t doubt himself like I know he did when he and Mason broke up. I hope he doesn’t feel alone and sad. I didn’t want to say it like this, but I hope he gets it. I hope he can feel that I love him.

Frankie

I sit on the couch where Teagan told me to and wait for Sawyer to walk back inside. I hear Moth’s bike pull off and Teagan talking to the police on the phone, letting them know that I’m home again.

Honestly, I feel like they were being dramatic. I was gone a lot longer than I thought I was, but I’m a teenager. I’m allowed to make mistakes. I feel terrible for making everyone worry. I never wanted any of that, but I feel like they’re overreacting.

When Sawyer comes inside, he walks over to stand in front of me, crossing his arms over his chest.

He waits for Teagan to come back into the room before pulling my phone out of his pocket. “I went through your phone after I figured out your password.”

My face pales, but I glare instead of letting the fear take over. “You had no right-”

“Be quiet. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. We try so hard to take care of you and make sure we’re still talking about things. We try to spend time with you and be good parents and it’s like you couldn’t care less about how much effort I’m putting in. All I ever want is to protect you, Frankie. Why can’t you see that?” He huffs, trying to keep his eyes from watering. Teagan glances at him, but keeps quiet rather than interjecting.

I shift uncomfortably, frowning when he types in my password to unlock my phone. “I went through your texts with him. At first, I thought this conversation was going to be about how irresponsible and dangerous it is to send nudes to people. You might feel like you know him now, but people have a way of changing when they’re put in a bad situation. I sent pictures to a guy I dated when I was a sophomore and the day after we broke up he texted them to everyone in our school. Luckily the cops were able to require everyone to get rid of them and pulled them down from any websites they were on, but I don’t want you to have to learn by experience.”

I blush and cross my arms over my chest. “I didn’t put my face in it or anything. Moth wouldn’t do that. I know you don’t like how he looks, but he’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

“I said I thought that’s what we’d need to talk about. Then I saw that you’ve been texting and calling an unsaved number a lot and I realized that you’ve been making a lot worse decisions than sending naked pictures and sneaking out of the house. Why have you been talking to our mom?”

I stare at him for a moment, not knowing what to say. I have reasons but I know that nothing is going to sound like a good enough reason to him. Maybe that’s why Teagan is trying to stay out of it. I’m pretty sure everyone who’s met Sawyer knows how touchy he gets when people talk about our parents.

“She just wanted to talk to me, Sawyer. I missed her and I wanted to be able to talk about my home life without having to explain it a million times. It was just a few conversations.”

“I don’t think you understand how dangerous this is. ‘Sometimes I wish I didn’t live here. He’s an evil tyrant that’s always telling me what to do.’” He reads, making my chest feel tight.

I never wanted him to see that. I never meant for him to read any of those messages. “Sawyer, please-”

“‘I hate being related to someone so controlling.’ ‘I don’t know why he’s always acting like he’s my dad.’ ‘I kinda wish I had been put up for adoption so I wouldn’t have to be a part of this family.’”

“Stop! Look, I never meant for you to read any of that. This is why I never talk to you about these things. You always make me feel like s**t every single time I do anything you don’t agree with. Why can’t you just let me be myself?”

“Do you not see what she’s doing, Frankie? She wants you to talk about us like we’re terrible people because she wants to get you back.”

I pause and shake my head slowly. “No. No, we signed papers. She can’t get us back.”

“She signed over her parental rights less than five hours after she gave birth to Alistair. She was still on drugs and if she can prove that you aren’t happy here then she has a serious case to get you back. She can say she wasn’t in her right mind when she made that decision. She could say anything with all the crap you’re sending her. That’s why I made her sign a contract saying she wouldn’t talk to any of you.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath, trying to hold back tears.

“She loves me, Sawyer. She’s not trying to get me back if that’s not what I want. She just wants to talk to me.”

“No, she wants the check she can get from the government for having a kid and no job.” Sawyer sighs again. “You’ll get your phone while you’re home. I changed your password so only I can open it. If you need to contact me or Teagan while you’re at school, you’ll have to find Will and use his phone instead.”

“Sawyer-”

“I’m not arguing with you about this. You need to make better decisions and I’ll be damned if something I do is the reason you get hurt by some emo kid or repoed by our egg donor. This isn’t a discussion. You’ll realize when you’re older that all we’re trying to do is take care of you the best we can. I love you, Frankie.” He tells me, walking closer to crouch down to my level, sitting on the couch. He puts his hands on my face and looks into my eyes, letting himself finally shed a few tears. “You f*****g terrified me today. I don’t care if I have to lock you in a tower like Rapunzel. I won’t let that happen again.”

I feel tears well up in my eyes too as he presses a kiss to my forehead. I look at Teagan when Sawyer steps back, silently pleading for at least one person to be on my side. “Teagan?”

He sighs, his eyes softening as he shakes his head. “You had all of us scared Frankie. You need to really understand the situation you put us in.”

Sawyer gives him an appreciative smile before unlocking my phone and handing it to me. “You can have it until the morning.”

I take it and get up to go to my room. I walk in and lie down in my bed. I had a great night until all of this happened. It all felt better when I was in Moth’s arms. It’s like the whole world disappeared and it was only us. I feel it buzz and when I see his name, I smile, reading his message.

“I’m sorry, Frankie, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m dragging you down and you deserve so much more than me. I love you, but we need to end this.”

My stomach drops. No, that doesn’t make any sense. We had an amazing night. Everything was going so well. Was he shaken up by Sawyer calling the cops? I’m sure he knows that nobody thinks he kidn*pped me. Why would he break up with me?

I read the message again and again, wiping my tears when I see it. ‘I love you’. He never says that to me. He always gets a look on his face that screams that he’s nervous about something, and he’ll look at me and try to say it, but he always chickens out or I’ll interrupt him to make sure he knows that I know what he’s feeling.

He shows it all the time. He shows it by remembering my favorite flower and learning my favorite song. He shows it by paying attention when I talk and writing songs about me. He shows it with the look in his eyes and a smile on his lips every time he hears my name. He’s never said it though. That means something doesn’t it? It has to.

I text him back, waiting for a reply, sending more messages when I don’t receive one. I even tried calling a few times, but he ignored it, sending me to voicemail every single time.

Eventually, I give up, putting my phone aside to roll over and cry softly. I hate feeling like this. I wish I could be different.

I’m always making mistakes or doing something wrong. Did I do something wrong? Should I have said something different? Is it my fault? Everyone is mad at me and I don’t even know how to fix any of it. I feel like a terrible person. I hate that right now, all I want to do is talk to my mom.