Testing Vickie

Chapter Sixteen

A shiver rolls down my spine. The sense? What sense? All?

I open my eyes, light streams in and I let my eyes adjust. There’s mirrors surrounding me in every direction, to the left, to the right. In front of me, behind me. Even when I look up, even when I look down. I see that I’m back to my teenage self, the purple highlights gone and the tattoo seeming not quite right on my arm. The white dress clean and clinging on my body. I feel pain in my head, like a headache coming in waves, getting stronger and stronger with each wave. Once, twice, thrice and four-times. I count each one and by the seventh one, I hear something. Like whispering, or many people whispering at the same time. Different things that I can’t make out. Another wave hits. It sounds like urgent whispering now. I can make out what some of those whisperings are.

‘it’s too expensive…he’s not ready…I like watermelons’

The ninth wave hits and they all form distinct little voices. Male, female. Young, old. American, Chinese.

It starts the get louder with the next wave. More voices, more whispering. I can’t think. I close my eyes. I see nothingness. I try to block out the noise by covering my ears. It’s pounding in my brain. Make it stop.

I try think of other things. Of Nick, of Ana, of my family but it’s not working. All I hear is other people.

‘…you’re going to be late! …***** (today we will be talking about)…ohh baby give me more…’

Ew, I don’t want to hear that stuff. I try to think of something else. Movies, books. Nothing works. I try to focus on something else instead. I open my eyes again.

I’m in an enclosed box with mirrors on all sides. There’s no handles, no windows. I touch the mirrors. It cracks. I tap it again very gently. It cracks again. I punch it and there’s a hole. This will take forever if I keep tapping and my arms and hands would hurt after. I tap with my foot. It cracks as well. I stomp. It gave the same result as when I punched the mirror. I jump and the entire bottom shatters as I fall into large body of water.

It’s cold. I feel myself going deeper and further, my body paralysed at the sudden events. As I adjust to my surroundings, I feel myself kicking to the surface, harder and harder until I finally surface up to breathe properly. I look around to see where I am, to find my surroundings but all I see is water. I choose a direction and start an easy breaststroke, my favourite stroke.

I start to swim as I was taught, glide two three, breathe and repeat. Glide two three, breathe. I continue for a while, the sun definitely moved. As much as I love being in the water I couldn’t help think about what people were saying.

‘Our Father who art in heaven… le singe mange l’orange (the monkey eats the orange)…once upon a time’

Someone praying, someone saying something in Italian? No, French. Perhaps the last one was someone reading a story or reading lines for a play. I remember a specific line from Into the Woods, a Sondheim musical. I smile as I remember a line I sang as Cinderella from a past school production.

“I wish to go to the festival.” There was a pause in the voices, the whispers. Then they came back in full force. I get distracted and did not see the incoming boat. Rather than see it, I heard it first, their whispers turning into speech, loud and clear in my mind as well as my ears.

‘Oh my God there’s a girl there…why is she out here…how did she get there…boys she’s wearing a white dress…get the poor girl a towel…’

I got so distracted by the voices in my head that I didn’t notice that the boat had come right up to me. All I heard was men and I was aware of my now soaked white dress which now would be see through. On a boat full of men.

This time I felt that someone was about to do something. Like they were about to wolf whistle.

“WHAT ARE YOU BOYS LOOKING AT?” I hear a gruff voice. Perhaps it wasn’t all men. “I TOLD YOU BOYS TO GET THE POOR GIRL A TOWEL. WHERE IS THAT TOWEL?” She turned her attention to me and her faced softened “Honey are you ok?”

I was on the side of the boat now, my mouth open is awe. “I, I.” I stare up at her. “Thank you.”

“Thank me when you get off this damned boat.” She laughs. I stare at her more and feel a smile crawling up my lips. “Boys, scram.” She hauls me up onto the boat with one meatloaf arm and wraps the towel around me. “Let’s get you below deck where it’s warm.”

She tries to lead me but I just stand there. The shock from swimming for so long to finally standing on my legs has done something to my body. I feel like I’m about to collapse.

‘She’s a pretty thing…she’s exhausted…her dress is see through!’

I stare at the woman again and try to move, to follow her. I feel my knees give way before I start to fall. Then arms swiftly lift me up.

‘She’s about to fall. She needs help.’

I finally felt safe and I close my eyes as a stream of voices enter my head and I get carried away by someone.

I pretend to sleep from exhaustion as I get carried below deck and try to push away the other voices to listen to the ones around me.

‘get off the couch and let her sleep there, she must have been swimming for hours…what do we do…she looks hot’

Suddenly I do end up sleeping from exhaustion, slipping into a sweet bliss on unawareness that there was so many voices in my head.