Astra

Going out

I suddenly woked up by the creaked sound of the door. Tumayo na ako and sinara ito, i suddenly stop and trying to remember what happened last night.

Dream... What a strange dream.

I look at my phone to check the time it's almost 11 am.

"you need to eat some breakfast"

I suddenly dropped my phone in shock. Who the f**k is speaking?

"hey Alora nakalimutan mo na ba agad ang nangyari kagabi?".

I look around to my room. "where are you?"

"behind you". A cold voice whispers to my ears.

"parang kang tangang multo nagsasalita agad" i said and turning my back as if he is in front in me.

He chuckled "im sorry, anyway kumain ka na"

"mamaya na i have no appetite to eat"

"ookayy..., but i can sense your tummy is grumbling"

"ehhh?? --- stomach noise ~~~

" see? "

" You're so annoying " i said and roll my eyes.

Lumabas na ako ng pinto. And dumeretso sa sofa para umupo. I open my phone to check my i********:. And bigla nalang may sariling uyak ang daliri ko na para istalk sya.

"Goddamnit." i cursed i stop myself to check his story in IG dahil nakikita mo yung multi colored circle around his profile na ibig sabihin may story sya.

I felt my eyes watered again.

"hey, are you okay?, natulala ka dyan"

I ignored him, i open my f*******: to check on him he's profile was locked, nice.

"hey umiiyak ka"

"f**k, tangina how can i moved on if hindi ko parin mapigilan icheck sya, ayoko na it hurts gusto ko ng kalimutan sya" i cried while covering my face.

It hurts so much, he's so unfair.

"Alora...". I feel his sliding his hand back and forth in my back.

" it's okay to cry i don't know kung anong pinagdadaanan mo ngayon you can tell me or burst your anger, emotions to me if makakatulong mabawasan yung nararamdaman mo, i will listen"

Mas lalo akong naiyak sa sinabi nya he's the first person who said that to me, i have no one to tell kung ano napagdaanan ko ngayon i don't have enough friends and i cant even talk with my family.

"hushh Alora.."

"Astra it hurts so much... He leaved when i need him the most, he leaved me at my lowest point it's hurts so much, he... He's the only one i can talk to, i can laugh with whole heartedly, share how my stupidity days going on, and share our problems that we deal everyday and higit sa lahat our plans and dreams with in future lahat yun nawala ng isang bula ansakit sakit isipin na hindi na mangyayari yun damnit that person i used to love wala na he leaves me... " i said.

The pain is unbearable it feels like stabbing my heart in a million times and my heart bleeds so much in blood.

" do you want me to hug you? "

I nod As my response, tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko, i suddenly feel he wiped my tears in both cheeks. And hugged me.

I feel him and hugged him tight,

I burst into tears again.

"hushh... everything will be alright"

"Thank you astra"

"anything for you, you can keep crying in my shoulders allow yourself to feel that emotion okay?, and after that you will feel a light feeling kahit pa paano".

We stayed hugged in few minutes.

"Astra... Have you been feel brokened before?"

"honestly... I dont know... Hindi nga ako makaalala right?"

I chuckle. " you know what parang gusto ko na rin magka amnesia gaya mo i want to forget all the pains i've experienced, it hurts so much because even the time goes by it will leaved as a scar and it make me scared to love again... "

" humans are really emotional"

"yeahhh it sucks to be a human" i said.

Bumitaw na ako sa pagkayakap and stare this invisible creature in my front.

"siguro kung may nakakita satin iisipin nilang baliw ako"

Tumawansya sa sinabi ko.

"there's no one here naman".

"actually meron, ayun ohh"

i point at my cat na nakatingin lang samin.

"ohhh ano ngang tawag jan". He asked

I walked and carry my cat. "this is my pet cat his name is kyoho"

" hello kyoho your owner named me Astra "

Kyoho is looking at him as if he is seeing this creature at him *meow*

" i think he likes me"

"actually may isa pa her name is yuki she's a white cat nasa galaan na naman siguro"

"ohhh,anyway time to eat na Alora you need some energy"

"yeahh yeahh whatever, magpapagrab nalang ako ng breakfast hindi naman kasi ako nagluluto" i said.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"grab, magpapadeliver ako ng pagkain"

"ohh so someone will going to cook and deliver for you?"

"yep"

"poor you why hindi ka ba marunong magluto?"

"nakakatamad"

"silly you"

"kumakain ka ba?" tanong ko

"i guess so..."

"sige magoorder ako ng 2 meals sa mcdo". I said and start scrolling in my grab app "gusto mo ba ng chicken fillet?"

"uhhhh kung ano sayo yun nalang din akin"

"okayyy so steak nalang and chicken fillet masarap rin yun"

"okay sure"

I order our food in app and the estimate wait time to arrived is 40 mins.

"so what will you doing right now?" he asked

"huh?"

" after natin kumain gusto mo bang lumabas labas or.."

"I'll stay here all day and doing nothing why?"

"is that how you entertaining yourself? Staying here in your home all day?"

"yeahh i don't have nowhere to go, i can't even stay outside alone i feel anxious and i feel comfortable here at home rather going outside madali rin akong maboring besides i have no friends to hang out with and currently im working home"

"Poor you"

"ehh why??"

"your more like an introvert, you should make friends"

"i don't know how... Besides i don't trust anyone lalo na ngayon"

"since you've mentioned that you work at home right?"

"yess"

"may pasok ka?"

"actually meron but i don't want to do work right now, nakakatamad and masama loob ko ngayon at the same time, i'll excuse myself that i have fever nalang"

"if that so... Lumabas tayo mamaya"

"ehh saan? And besides no one can see you"

"look i want to help you, i want to make you happy so let's do things that you've not yet experienced, and i don't want to see you cry again like earlier"

I Silenced a bit of what he says.

"i want you also to moved out of your comfort zone don't be scared to try new experience kahit nakakasakit , nakakalungkot or masaya atleast you've try hindi ba?, and that person who hurt and leave you that's the sign that you didn't deserved that person and you deserved more better than him if he's not able to reciprocate your love that you gave to him and now he leaves you let him be and it's okay to cry alora im with you naman "

I bit my lower lips of what he said, i feel an urge to cry." Astra... It's hard to moved on, i... I still love him honestly i want to beg him but his reason to leave is he need to grow himself i cant intervene his decision but i want to be selfish for this love too i want him to stay kasi im being selfless when it came to him, i keep understanding him why he late replies, i.. I wait him always i keep assuring him kasi he's an overthinker " i said di ko na napigilan ang luhang bumadya.

" Alora... "

I feel again his thumb wiping my tears.

" don't beg for love alora, if that his reason to leave you that's sucks honestly if you truly love a person you can grow with her and fix the relationship."

"i actually agree with that, kasi bakit yung iba nagagawa nila and ako im willing to do anything for him, i don't pressure him a lot, i never argue with him im giving my best to love him"

"see?, he's not the only man in this world, one day kusa nalang sya darating ang para sayo and that man time will comes that he regret his decision to leave you because he will never experienced the same love you gave to him baka nga makatagpo pa sya na mas worst pa sa kanya "

I chuckled sa sinabi nya." yeah damn him, puro salita magaling lang sa una, i guess he got bored to our relationship and may third wheel and he just excuse himself"

" hahaha damn him don't overthink yourself to him , and your priority right now is yourself, loving him is enough it's time for yourself naman kaya after we eat, were going outside okay? "

I nod for the response. "Astra can i have a hug"

"sure"

I feel he hugged me and i hugged him tight, i really need hugs in this situation and someone to talk to

"thank you astra"

"anything for you alora" and he pat my head.

*phone rings*

"hello?"

"grab delivery po mam"

"ohhh papunta na po"

"sige po"

*call ended *

"i'll get our food" paalam ko

I prepare our food and we are in opposite position. I sit in my chair to start eating.

I noticed that his food is not moving.

"aren't you eating?" i asked

" im watching you how to eat" he answered

What? I make face in front of thus invisible guy

"hahah kidding I'll start eat na im just making sure na you will eat"

I rolled my eyes and start eating again. I noticed na magisang gumagalaw ang mga utensils with food. It's still really wierd that this man is an invisible without moonlight kung iba siguro ang nandito iisipin multo ang kumakain.

"hey don't watch me"

"creepy"

I heard him chuckle. We continue to eat until i finished.

"I'm going to take a bath and get dressed "

"sige lang"

In a few minutes im already done, i wore a simple Jeans and shirt.

But saan kami pupunta i don't know where to go.

I opened my phone to check on Google maybe pumunta sa mga cosplay convention?. I check if there are any cosplay convention but there are no events na malapit. Mall? And anong gagawin sa mall mamili? But i don't know should i buy or manood ng sine?.

"your done already?"

"yes, uhh astra i don't know where we can go"

"what if you will invite one of your friends meron ka naman siguro kahit isa siguro?"

Yes i have few friends but they are my friends in my high school pa and they are busy with their college life. I don't know who's available and malalayo rin sila.

I check my messenger to look who's active

Trixie is active.

*trixieee* - i chat, hindi nya pa nasiseen. I look another person i know

Jenny is active

*jennyyy*

*oh sis alora *

*uhh are you free right now? I need someone to accompany with me *

* ohhh i want to hang out with you but im in the middle of school right now im sorry *

*it's okay i understand : > *

(jenny heart react your message)

*im sorry talaga alora if i have free time aayain kita but wrong timing talaga ngayon im sorry*

I just seen her message i didn't reply i don't want to bother her.

*? from trixie *

*Aloraaaa*

*trixie are your free today? *

*wala naman, wala rin naman akong ginagawa ngayon*

*i meed someone na makasama gusto ko kasing lumabas

*hala sure g saan ba tayo? *

*uhhh honestly i don't know... *

Trixie is typing...

Im really stupid mag aaya then hindi ko alam saan ang punta, no this is astra's idea naman na magaya ako ng kasama and i dont know naman saan gagala.

*may bagong labas na movie ung Barbie blockbuster hit ngayon yun *

*so let's watch movie nalang*- answered

*gusto mo ba yung barbie *

* yeahh i love barbie naman and nakikita ko yung trailers sa news feed ko that's really interesting to watch"

"sige yun nalang 2:30 pm start ng movie, magaayos na ako ha*

*sige sige sunduin nalang kita sainyo *

Trixie heart reacted your message

*see you later Aloraa *

*see youu later too *

Ngumiti ako after that, yes.

" Astra my friend trixie will come with us we're going to watch movie"

"really that's sounds fun"

Pero he's invisible should i introduced him kay alora baka mafreak out lang sya or baka isiping baliw ako na i am with an invisibile guy.

"your spacing out why?"

"how am i supposed to tell her about you?"

"then don't tell about me she will be freak out if she knew"

"yeah baka isipin nya ring nababaliw ako"

Kasi naman who the heck will going to believe me na one night in the middle of the road while breaking down this invisible guy suddenly appeared and he was summoned because of my shitness?.

"i'll follow you on your back just enjoy i will guard you both outside, dont mind me"

"so im going to pretend that im not with somebody who is invisible" i said.

"yeahhh" he answered.

"what if i need to talk you i - i have social anxiety when im outside"

"if your going to talk with me many people around you will notice that your talking to yourself".

"yeah that's crazy, oh i know i have these airpods people will not notice that im talking with you parang lang akong may kacall if i wear this"

"well that's brilliant!"

"the question is are they going to hear you? Like me what if someone will passed my by and he hear your voice that's kinda sound creepy"

"well... I don't know let's see what if i whispers on your ears instead?"

"i guess that will work." i answered

"let's leave na".

Umalis na kami sa bahay and nagaabang ng masasakyan.

Wait... If were going to take a ride in jeep then pag napupuno that will be wierd if sasakay sya, if sa bus naman kami sasakay mapapansin parin na may space pa and for sure may uupo and baka mafreak out yung pasahero.

"Ano neng di ka pa sasakay?" sabi ng barter sakin na kanina pa siguro naghihintay ung jeep na nakahinto.

"uhh im sorry m-may nakalimutan po ako" i said and pretend myself to check my bag.

"hey what happened? Your spacing out kanina?"

I suddenly jumped of his voice.

"heyy are you okay?"

Dali dali kong kinuha ang airpods and i plugged in to my ears.

"uhh hello yes astra? Im sorry uhhh i forgot something"

"what did you forgot?"

"Uhh let's take grab taxi nalang im going to book a ride for us"

"oh okay"

I open the grab app to book. Geezz gastos.

I sighed.

"are you okay?"

"uhhh we can't ride sa mga jeep sikipan they will notice wierd if sasakay ka"

"ohh i see"

I open my phone to check trixie

*trixie una nalang ako sa SM? Sa cinema floor nalang tayo magkita? "

*trixie is typing... *

* sure no problem *

My phone suddenly ring the grab rider

Pumunta na ako sa place na nakahintay ang grab and sumakay na. Hanggang sa nakarating sa SM. I keep walking until i reach the cinema floor. I look around and starting feeling anxious.

"astra...don't leave me here"

"no worries I won't leave you here"

I took a deep breath to calm myself.

*Trixie is calling*

"alora im on the way malapit na ako"

"nandito na ako wave ka nalang if your here na para mapansin kita"

"suree"

*call ended*

"Astra sasama ka bang manood samin?"

"ikaw bahala i can wait you two inside"

"that will be boring to you sumama ka nalang sa loob ng sinehan and plus your invisible no one can see you enter you can also take anseat to a vacant seat naman"

" sure i will"

I smiled a bit and i've decided to buy a 2 tickets since ako naman nagaya, i buy some snacks like popcorn and juices para for us.

I wait few minutes her until i saw someone is waving.

I wave back.

"Aloraaa" trixie shouted, maraming napatingin sa sigaw nya habang tumatakbo papunta sakin.

I smiled at her and i was surprised that she hugged me.

"hii kumusta na owemji aomost 3 years na tayong hindi nagkita"

"yeahh since high school" i said. "anyway i already bought are tickets and we have 1 hour to wait until the movie start pa"

"yeahhh let's eat kaya muna im kinda hungry i didn't eat anything pa"

"uhhh i have no idea saan tayo kakain"

"Im craving sa popeyes let's look for a popeyes"

I only nod for the response.

We stroll the whole Mall to look the popeyes and we don't find any.

"Alora kumusta na kayo ng boyfriend mo?"

I stopped at her question. I looked down and took a deep breath im starting feel heavy in my heart.

"Alora..." astra's voice

"uhh alora? Hey alora?"

"huh? I-im sorry"

"is there anything wrong tumahimik ka bigla"

I still look down and feel my eyes watered again

"uhh nothing" i answered and pa simpleng pinunasan ang mata ko.

"i remembered something im sorry" i said.

"ohhh anyway ano nga pala uilit name nung boyfriend mo?"

I gulped at her question i don't want to mention his named "A-alex"

"ohhh alex name nya alam mo maraming kang dapat I kwento sakin lalo na sa love life mo"

I bittered smile. "trixie...honestly wala na kami.." i said in soft voice.

"huh hala im sorry!, i didn't mean to ask about him im sorry". She apologized.

"it's okay... Hindi mo rin naman alam and kahapon lang kami naghiwalay, he just leaved his goodbye message without waiting for my response" i said while smiling bitterly and stop my tears to fall down again.

She covered her mouth with her eyes wide opened na halatang nagulat.

"Alora..." she suddenly hugged me and that makes to cry.

"husshh" she said habang hinahagod ang likod ko.

"I - im sorry dito pa talaga ako umiyak im kinda causing a scene pa here hahaha andaming tao" i said habang umalis sa yakap and pinuounasan ang luha.

She keep looking at me na parang naawa.

" i'll be okay i guess i need more time to moved on lalo kakahiwalay lang namin"

" im sorry alora i don't even know how to comfort or anong sabihin about this"

I smiled at her to assure her that im okay.

"anyway trixie let's eat ramen? Kung okay lang sayo" i asked, i want to brush off this.

"yeahh sure i've noticed a ramen restaurant don nalang"

She pulled me into that restaurant.

"Irasshaimase!". They greet us as we come in and we sat to our table and order our food.

While were waiting trixie grab her phone to take a selfie with me. And she post in her f*******: and i********: story.

Later on our order arrived at the table. It seems delicious it has a beef with an egg this is actually my favorite Ramen the cheesy tonkatsu ramen.

Im starting eating while i notice trixie is having a struggle to use her chopsticks, i laugh at her hownshe use it she just swirl the noodles to her chopsticks.

"alora...di ako marunong pano ba to"

"ganto yan hold it like your holding a pencil, Place first chopstick between your pointer finger and thumb then balance it on your ring finger, then Place the second chopstick between the pointer finger and thumb while the rest it on middle finger and Use your thumb, pointer and middle fingers to grasp the second chopstick firmly. Then the Index and middle fingers do the lifting finally Use your index and middle fingers to close chopsticks over food." I said while instructing to her hand how she can use it.

" okayy... "

She tries on her own but she still have a struggles to use it.

" Im done, i give up di ko kaya". She said, "Uhhh ate may tinidor po kayo?" she asked

"yes po" and the waitress goes to thier kitchen to grab a fork and spoon and give to trixie

"thank you po" trixie said.

The waitress bowed at her a little.

We continue to eat until i finished my ramen, we've decided to stay for few minutes and we leave at the restaurant after.

We walked straight to the cinema and while walking im trying to look around to check astra if he's around.

I look at my back and sides. "may hinahanap ka?" trixie suddenly asked.

Umiling ako, "wala naman i just noticed something lang naman, uhhh tara na".

Hinila na ako ni trixie papuntang entrance and binigay na ang tickets namin. A man suddenly gave us water "libre po to?". I suddenly asked, tumango lang si kuya and we continue to walk papunta sa loob.

It's too dark i cant see anything, kinakapa namin ang dinadaanan namin and good thing there are LED light on the floor and since our chair is nasa taas we need to take the stair dahan-dahan ang pagakyat namin,

"here's our seat na" she said and umupo na kami.

Im still trying to feel astra's presence but i failed to feel, i want to check him if he's still with us, im thinking a way to excuse and hindi pa rin naman nagsisismula ang palabas.

"Uhhh trix i need to take restroom muna"

"sige go lang" she answered.

I immediately went down carefully dahil sa sobrang dilim ng paligid. And i reach tge bathroom.

There are 2 ladies chit chatting while fixing their selves in front of the mirror. I enter the empty bathroom and i closed the lid of the toilet and sit in and wait for few minutes until they left.

"Astra? Are you still with me?" I asked.

"yes im here kanina pa akong nakabuntot sayo"

I sighed in relief. He's speaking outside of the door

"buti naman I thought i lost you or naligaw ka na, hindi ka ba nahihirapanng sumunod lalo't madilim sa loob ng sinehan"

"alora im fine don't mind me i actually waiting in the hallway but i notice you walking on here kaya sumunod na ako" he answered.

"maybe you can take an empty seat since there are few people naman sa loob"

"no it's okay im fine alora"

"the movie is almost an hour it be better you can watch with us just find an empty seat"

"would that be wierd if someone notice that someone is sitting because the chairs kailangan mo pang ibaba ang pang upo para makaupo"

Napahinto at napaisip ako sa sinabi nya.

"but the lights are off and no one can notice that" i answered, yes i worried for him if he just wait he'll get bored and nakakangalay.

"Alora im really fine dont mind about me just think that this day is for yourself this will be your first step of moving on, c'mon enjoy yourself and the movie will about to start na hinihintay ka na ng friend mo don and im totally fine alora"

"p-pero"

"no buts alora, ganto nalang to assure you that im around after the movie I'll hold your hand while walking how about that?"

I bit my lips that will worked.

"okay fine" i said and umalis na sa loob "Astra thank you".

"you're welcome" he answered.

Bumalik na ako sa kinauupuan ko and sakto nagsimula na ang palabas.

The entire movie is entertaining because it's a comedy movie at the same time, we laughed and trying take some pictures of ourselves despite of the darkness. Trixie is also taking video of us na parang nagvavlog.

Natapos ang palabas and we've decided to leave.

As we walked down to the stairs carefully and walked into the hallway i suddenly feels someone hold my hand.

"Astra..." i uttered

"Astra?" trixie suddenly asked.

Napalakas yata ang pagkasabi ko, "uhh--uhhh i just remembered something that i read in the books lang hehe"

"ohhhh... Okay"