HE WAS COLD LIKE WINTER

CHAPTER 5: WHEN A SIMPLE REACHING OUT LEADS TO FRIENDSHIP OVER, AGAIN?

(Andi”s POV)

Morning came as a beautiful reminder to everyone that we can always make new beginnings after a dark and harsh night. The sun shines brightly as if it gives us a push we needed not just to survive but to thrive the waves of life. Just like how relationships are, no matter how cluttered it is, we can always have the chance to untangle all the intertwined strings. Being humble enough to admit our mistakes is the beginning of fixing what was broken. And it takes a lot of courage to admit that we are wrong sometimes.

It was the first time I heard Zac saying sorry. It was an awkward sorry. A bit cold. A bit of himself. I thought I was just imagining that night when I heard those words spilled out from his mouth. He’s someone who wouldn’t care about other’s feelings. It’s not because that’s who he is. But because after his parents filed a divorce and his dad flew to a faraway no one knows, he suddenly changes. “Sorry”, “thank you” became so hard to expect from him. That’s how tremendous the aftermath of his parent’s failed marriage affected him. And last night proves he is also bound to change for good. I saw it from his eyes. And I feel it from his words. He's slowly turning into a fine, young gentleman someday. 

“Good morning!” I startled Zac making him get off his bike.

“Hey!” He protested. “It’s not because I said sorry yesterday that you’ll try to make fun of me.” Then, smiled.

“Why?” I acted cutely. “You don’t want to?”

He just laughed. Then, left with his bike. I run as fast as I could. “Hey! Wait for me!”

At school.

“Hey!” Cloe said with suspicion in her eyes.

I guess it was just too obvious that Zac and I finally made up. Well, it’s not something so hard to hide as well. I took my seat and gaze at Zac with a smile all over my face.

“Hey!” Cloe uttered again. “I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by my only best friend. Unbelievable. I’m hurt.”

I laughed. “I’m sorry. Don’t worry I will you the full details later.”

“Promise?” Cloe added.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Hey! Did you make up?” Liam suddenly asked.

I nodded.

“That’s great. This calls for a celebration!” Liam shouted. “How about a burger after school? Or, a samgyupsal at our favorite Korean restaurant? And a karaoke after?” He added with full of excitement.

“I’m in!” I uttered.

“Me, too,” Cloe responded.

“Call.” Ethan voiced as he suddenly arrived even though he doesn’t our whole conversation.

Meanwhile, Cloe and I took our snack separately from the boys since she has been dying to know the whole story of how Zac and I reconcile with each other. Well, that’s just how she is. Plus, I couldn’t hide anything from her too. Just like how honest she is to me, I also shared almost everything with her.

“Really?” She bawled her eyes. “He said sorry?”

I nodded.

“That can’t be?” Cloe added with disbelief at her words. “The cold, snob and indifferent Zac said sorry? That’s too impossible.”

“Why?” I asked. “Is he not allowed to say sorry just because of how egotistic he is? There is no constant in the world except change. And so as people. You told me that right?”

“Well, you’re right.” She seemed to agree. “But anyway, I’m happy for you. Now, that you finally okay with Zac, you can continue liking him, right?”

“Yes,” I happily added.

 After school.

As planned, we went to our favorite Korean restaurant. And take two sets of samgyupsal. Having three boys in the group who are like cannibals hungered out for years, one set is not enough excluding Zac. He’s only in the mood of eating when he’s stressed out. But if not, he just eats like a bird. Nonetheless, we just ordered two sets since having Liam and Ethan who are like in an eating competition, makes the table a total mess.

“Hey!” I shouted looking at Liam and Ethan after seeing how the food quickly turns into half of the one whole serve we ordered. “Will you please slow down? We’re also here to eat.”

“Hey!” Liam protested. “I’m the one who’s buying. Why are you making complaints?”

“Hey!” I also protested. I was about to punch him when Zac placed a piece of grilled meat into my bowl.

I was surprised. “I’m not dreaming at all, right? He placed it on my bowl, right? I didn’t ask him to do it. No one asks him, too. He just does it with his own accord, right?” The questions I’ve been asking myself.

Then suddenly, Cloe pinched me on my side.

“Hey! She softly uttered. “Get back to your senses. Zac might melt because you stared too much at him.”

“Yes, Miss.” I jokingly added while looking at Zac.

It didn’t reach an hour and we finished our food. The table has been cleared as if a hurricane came and swiftly erased everything. Looking from the two—Liam and Ethan, lying down while touching both their bloated stomach, it’s safe to say that it was a sumptuous dinner.

We were about to leave then when something unexpected happens. The waitress came with the bill. We signaled that Liam was the one to shoulder the bill. So, we casually pack our bags and about to leave.

“Why? What’s the problem?” Cloe asked after seeing how disoriented Liam’s face was.

He was in panic searching for his wallet. From his pocket down to his bag, it’s nowhere to be found. He has been sweating a lot. Earlier I could hear him being so proud because he’s the one who will pay for our dinner. But now, he looked like a wet chick on the farm.

“Aren’t you going to pay?” I said.

“I’m sorry. But I think I left my wallet at home.” He softly uttered.

“What?” Our eyes bawled in shock.

Luckily, we have some money left so we patched up for the bill. Because if not, we’re doomed. We will all be washing a mountainously piled of unclean dishes and even clean the whole restaurant. We should not let history repeat itself. We already learned our lessons from before.

“Hey! How come you proudly invite us to hang out where you don’t have even single money?” I bawled at Liam.

“Hey! I have money. It’s just that I left it at home.” He defended himself.

“Hey! Stop it! Both of you.” Cloe but in. “Let’s just go home. It’s getting late. Mom should be home by now. I’ll be scolded if she knew I stayed too long outside.”

“Okay. Bye!” I hugged Cloe.

“Bye!” She responded. “Liam and I will get this way. Ethan, Zac take good care of Andi, okay?”

They nodded.

We were walking home quietly. I was at the center while both of them position on each side. They look like my bodyguards. It was already 9 pm. Though some people were seen walking, this is not the time for teenagers like us to roam the streets. I hurried my steps not to get home as much as early as possible but because I suddenly felt some awkwardness. I don’t know why but the atmosphere became stiff and uneasy. And their silence is somehow killing me.

But as I was taking large steps, I slip my feet and almost fall to the ground when Zac immediately grab my hand making me fall into his arms. Our eyes locked for a moment. Our face is an inch closer to each other.

“Are you okay?” Ethan asked breaking Zac and me apart.

“Yes. I’m fine.” I stuttered my words.  

“Look out!” Ethan shouted. He grabbed me this time making me hugged him unexpectedly as I was about to get hit by a raging bike after I distance myself from Zac. 

That was too close. Luckily, Ethan was too quick to respond. But that short moment makes me feel a bit awkward as I heard his heart beats faster. Then, suddenly a memory flashback into my mind. The day I overheard Ethan talking while he was asleep—of how much he like me. Ever since that day, I have tried to set boundaries with our friendship. As much as possible, I don’t want to be left with him all alone although it cannot be avoided since we’re friends. I know it’s bad to make assumptions but I don’t think I dare to ask him about his true feelings for me. I don’t think I’m brave enough to reject him, especially that he’s a very good friend to me. I cannot do that to him. Not to Ethan.

I immediately pull myself back.

“Are you okay?” Ethan worriedly asked.

“Yes. Thank you.” I replied.

“Hey!” Zac uttered looking at Ethan. “This is not going to your house. Taking this route will take you longer to reach home.” 

“It’s okay,” Ethan responded. “I’ll take Andi home. I have to make sure she’s safe.”

“It’s okay.” Zac bragged. “I can take her home. I’ll make sure she’s safe. No need to hassle yourself.” He added while grabbing my hands.

“No.” Ethan refused. “Andi will never be a hassle to me.” Then, grab me as well.

Now, I’m caught in between. We’re like playing a tug of war and I’m the rope. Both sides were very competitive. No one will give in. “This is not good,” I told myself.

“Hey! Let go.” I bickered at Zac but he won’t listen.

“You, too.” I fumed at Ethan but he was as stubborn as Zac.

“Stop it!” I shouted as much as I could.

Thankfully, they stop. I harshly looked at them telling them to let go of my hands. Finally, they listened. As I was so disgusted with their childish act, I walked out and left the two of them. Although after reaching quite far, I hesitated to continue. I wanted to go back. I’m scared of what would happen to them. But I stopped myself from doing so.

I reached home around 9:30 in the evening. I was about to get into our house when I saw Zac’s mom waiting outside their home walking back and forth with a worried face. I draw closer.

“Tita Beth?’ I called. “Why are you doing outside? It’s getting late.”

“Andi… have you seen Zac?” She worriedly asked. “I’ve been calling him but he won’t answer any of my calls.”

“Don’t worry Tita. For sure, he’ll be home sooner. We just head out after school to eat some Korean BBQ.” I explained.

“But why are you not going home together?” She asked.

“I just….” I couldn’t finish my words after seeing Zac approaching.

“There he is.” I happily shouted.

I felt relieved since I won’t be able to make any lies. I know how bad I am at making false excuses. Thankfully, Zac’s presence saved me from this predicament. He arrived perfectly.

“Zac!” Tita Beth called and immediately hugged him.

But Zac instantly let go of his mother’s embrace.

“Let’s talk, okay?” His mom uttered. “Please?” She added while begging him. “Let me explain everything, Zac.”

“What for?” Zac groused. “I already heard everything. What more do you want to say? What lies do you have just to justify your actions? Tell me, mom.”

That was the first time I saw Zac glaring with his mom. I didn’t expect that a quiet type of person like him has a lot of words hiding within his heart. I don’t know exactly what happened but I feel like something’s going on between him and his mom. That awkward mother and son relationship was not new to me. I had a stellar view of how his parents’ divorce affected him and the way he treats his mom. But why do I feel like Zac’s words bring a different vibe as if there was more to it?

The next day.

“Bye!” I uttered as I hurriedly went outside our house.

“Take care! Have fun at school, okay?” Nanny Fely shouted.

“Sure. I will have fun at school. That’s a guarantee. Because I’ll be seeing him at school.” I happily told myself.

I woke up early so that I can go to school with Zac. Plus, I have to give him the cookies I made. I have to be the first one to give him since there are a lot of competitors at school especially that sly fox, Amanda. But as soon as I reached their house, I couldn’t see his bike. I keep looking around their garage and into their garden, but I couldn’t see his presence. I guess he went to school early again this time.

I feel sad. I was very excited that I get up early from bed just to prepare these special cookies. I wanted to give him some sweets to lighten up his mood especially after what I saw last night.

“It’s okay. I just have to see him at school.” I told myself.

I was about to leave then when I saw her mom.

“Good morning Tita Beth!” I greeted with a smile.

“Good morning, Andi.” She replied softly. “Are you going to school now?”

“Yes,” I responded.

“Take care.” She added.

“Yes. Have a nice day Tita.” I uttered.

“Andi?” She called.

“Yes,” I responded.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized. “I’m sorry about last night. You have witnessed how cold Zac was to me.”

“It’s okay,” I uttered. “Every family has its own story. And I believe whatever it is, you’ll be able to fix it. Zac is a kind person. He’s a bit a cold, snob, loner but he’s a good person. I should know. I’m his friend, right?” I happily added.

“Your dad is very lucky to have you. You’re still young yet you act like a grown-up. How I wish Zac was also the same.” She sighed. “Ever since his dad and I separated our ways and I busied myself from work just to support his needs, Zac distance himself to me. I just wanted to provide a good life for him. But I didn’t know that I became selfish. I forgot he also needed care, time, and love from a mother.”

“Tita, don’t worry. I’ll talk to Zac about it. Maybe, he’ll open up to me.” I comforted her.

At school.

“Hi!” Cloe greeted.

“Hi!” I responded.

“Are you okay?” Cloe asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Your words and your actions don’t coincide,” Cloe added. “Why? What happened?”

“What?” I hinted.

“What happened between you and Zac?” She coaxed. “You’re acting like you’re not okay and Zac is MIA (missing in action). We both know how he hates to be absent. Even though he’s sick, he won’t be absent from school.”

“Zac is not here?” I shockingly asked.

“Where could he be?” I asked myself. “He left his house early. I did not saw his bike in their garage. Where would he go except school? He’s not someone who will just roam and skip school.”

Now, the more I get worried as a lot of weird thoughts came to mind. This is the effect of watching too much thriller drama at night.

“I have to find him,” I told myself. I called his phone but it’s out of coverage area. Walking back and forth, I couldn’t get hold of him.

Then the school bell ring. I have to get back to our room or else, our terror school head will see me. He’s someone you shouldn’t miss if you want to graduate smoothly from this school. He’s the no. 1 disciplinarian at our school and there is no escape from his punishment.

“Hey! Have you reached Zac? Do you know where he is? And why he’s not at school?” Cloe whispered.

“Hey!” Zac is missing?” Liam shouted.

“Hey! I bickered. “Will you please lower your voice?” 

“Okay, class. Listen!” Our teacher commanded. “Have you prepared well enough for the coming sports event? Wait. Where is your Class President? Is Zac absent? He didn’t inform me earlier.”

Everyone was murmuring. I guess I’m not the only one who is shocked. I mean Zac has a good reputation at school. Aside from being top 1 academically, he’s also top 1 at being diligent and punctual. He won’t take any absence just because he is sick.

“Okay! That’s enough. Let’s start our class.”

After school.

“Dude!” Ethan called. “Are you going home? Let’s go. I’ll take you home.”

“No. I’m not going home unless I will know where Zac is.” I sadly uttered. “He left home early and now he’s not at school. He’s not someone who will just skip school. You know that right? I have to find him. His mom might be so worried about him. His phone can’t be reached. What if something happens to him?”

“Hey! Don’t think any bad thoughts, okay?” Ethan said. “I’ll help you look for him.”

“It’s okay. Cloe and Liam are also helping me. And besides, your mom might be looking for you.” I insisted.

“It’s okay. I also wanted to help. Zac is also my friend. I wanted to know where he is. Plus, the more the better, right?” Ethan added.

We searched for him everywhere—internet café, his favorite coffee shop, book store but he’s nowhere to be found. Even Cloe and Liam have not found any traces of him. We searched every corner. Even to his safest ground—the beach, but he’s not there.

It was already past 7 pm when we head back to the city. Ethan and I were both tired from walking and asking people who could have seen him.

“Let’s just take some break over there.” Ethan pointed out the convenience store.

“Okay.” I agreed. “I have to go to the comfort room.” I run as quickly as possible.

I feel relieved. I looked for some snacks inside the store as I have been feeling hungry all this time. I feel like all my energy got used up because of non-stop roaming around from places for more than two hours.

I walk towards the cashier to pay.

“How much?” I asked.

“310 pesos Miss.” The cashier responded.

But as I was about to give the money, my eyes rolled into shock because the guy I’ve been searching for is just standing in front of me. I felt relieved. I’m happy to see him that I suddenly hugged him tightly.

“Why are you here?” I asked first. “Why are you working here instead of being at school? Do you need money that much that you sacrifice going to school just to work here?”

But Zac won’t talk. He just remained silent.

“Hey! Why are you just sitting there and not saying anything? Did you know how much you made everyone worried about you? You just left and your phone is out of reach too. How come you’re so stubborn Zac especially to your mom?” I complained.

“Don’t get fooled with her motherly act. She’s just faking it.” He snorted. 

“What?” I was surprised to hear it from him.

“I have to go. My boss will be here any moment. I don’t want him to see me slacking off during work hours. I can’t afford to lose this job. Bye!” He added.

“Hey! I’ll be waiting for you until you finished your shift. Then, you have to tell me everything, okay?” I ordered him.

“How was it?” Ethan asked. “Did he tell you why he’s here?”

“No.” I nodded. “But I will not let this day end without him telling me everything that’s been troubling him. I have to know so that I could help him. This is not the Zac I know.”

Ethan’s phone rings.

“Take it. It must be from your mom.” I said.

“Okay.” He uttered.

“Why? What’s wrong?” I asked. But the look on his eyes tells me he has to go. “It’s okay. You can leave. Besides, Zac will be finished from his shift soon.”

“Mom is calling me because we’ll be having a family dinner with dad. She keeps nagging me to come. That’s just how she is. She doesn’t want dad to wait longer.” Ethan explained.

“It’s okay. Thank you.” I uttered.

“You’re welcome. Call me when you get home, okay?” He added.

“Yes. Bye!” I smiled.

 An hour had passed and Zac’s shift was finally done. Finally, I can ask him everything I wanted to know. I won’t let give him any excuse especially his stubborn attitude.

“Let’s talk.” I ranted.

“Let’s eat first. I had a tiring day. I’m very hungry right now that even talking makes me so tired.” He said.

I guess he’s really tired from working looking at how he took a large bite of every food placed on the table.

“Are you full? Are you satisfied now?” I asked. “Now, let’s talk.”

“Why are you working there? Why would you need money? What for? Why are you skipping school? And why are you treating your mom like she’s a stranger?” I asked.

“Can you please ask one at a time?” He appealed.

“Okay. First, why are you working there?” I uttered.

“I needed some cash.” He answered.

“For what?” I wondered. “Why would you need some money?”

“I’ll tell you my reasons but you to promise me that you will keep it a secret especially to my mom.” He explained.

“What?” I asked. “But why?”

“Promise me!” He pleaded.

“Sure. I promised.” I replied.

“I needed money to support myself. I’ll be moving out of our house before going to college.” He confided.

“Why?” The more I get confused. “Why are you moving out? Is this something to do with what happened the other night with your mom?”

“Mom is seeing another man.” He sadly added. “I’m against it. I was still hoping dad and her could go back together just like before. That we could have a happy family again. But now, that idea became narrower.”

“Did you talk about it with your mom?” I asked. “I mean if you’re against it, you should let your mom know. And besides, it’s not like you can avoid her forever. No matter what happens, she will always be your mom.”

“Exactly. That’s why I have to move out of that house as soon as possible. But I can’t move out for now. I don’t have enough finances to support myself.” He said. “I can’t take living with her with that man. After hearing her talking about marriage on the phone, I feel like I cannot stop her from seeing that man.

“Is he a good man?” I asked. “If he is, then he’ll be a perfect husband for your mom and even the best dad for you.”

“What?” He grunted. “I don’t care if he’s a good man or not. I just don’t want my mom seeing another man. I only have one dad. No one can replace him. Never.”

“Zac, listen. I know I don’t have any right to tell you what to do and not to do. But, you should act like a grown-up now. I mean I understand your sentiments. If I’m in your shoes, I would also be acting that way. But grown-ups know when to stop. There’s a limitation about everything.” I explained.

“So you’re saying that I’m being childish just because I cannot accept mom’s new lover?” He fumed. “If you came here just to nag me, just leave. I don’t need your concern.”

“Zac! Wait!” I called him. “That’s not what I mean.”

“You’re top 1 at class. How come you’re so close-minded, Zac?” I told myself.

The following day.

Zac went to school again. I thought he won’t heed any of my advice after how he walked away. I felt relieved momentarily but when I followed him one day, I saw he was still working on that convenience store.

Honestly, I wanted to tell everything to his mom but I hesitated especially that I made a promise to him. I don’t want to betray him. Not this time. Keeping his secret is the only way I can reach out to him since we have a different opinion about his mom getting a new lover.

I went home alone. Feeling so down, I don’t know how to change Zac’s mind. At school, he’s been avoiding me. He won’t eat together with us anymore. He became a loner again. Pushing away people around him was his cup of tea. He set another wall separating himself from the world.

But before I could get in our house, someone grabbed my hands into the narrow corner. It was Zac.

“Do you have to tell my mom about my part-time job?” He barked.

“Ouch! Let go of me!” I ordered. “What’s your deal this time, huh?”

“Who are you to barge in with my life? Who are you to mess up with my decisions? Who do you think you are?” He shouted. “I trusted you. You promised me, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I softly uttered.

“Stop acting like you know nothing.” He stormed. “I guess this is just how our friendship should end. I don’t want to be friends with someone who cannot keep a simple promise.”

Then, he left.