HE WAS COLD LIKE WINTER

CHAPTER 8: A TEARY SETBACK

They say that in everything you do, you must give your best to achieve your goals. But even pouring yourself out doesn’t guarantee anything. Not even winning. Even in love. Sometimes some things are suddenly coming along the way. A sudden stopover, a detour, or a simple blockage that hinders our opportunity to be with the people we love.

The night was so quiet, peaceful, and calm as if something cast a magic spell to make this moment happen. Zac and I were laying on the grass next to each other while watching a million stars in a clear night sky. It was a magical moment—something romantic, something special. The night breeze and the cold air make it more romantic though.

I’ve always dreamed of a romantic dance, a simple dinner date, a cozy night strolling in the park, or simply holding hands while walking on the busy street. That’s why coming to the ball, I only have one thing on my mind—to make special memories with Zac. But to my surprise, something unexpected happened. A magical night turns into an embarrassing moment I wanted to erase with my memories. But just on the brink where you badly wanted to let go of those memories, something romantic suddenly happened.

“Are you okay now?” Zac worriedly asked.

“Of course,” I uttered. “You came just right on time.”

“Tell me. What happened there? Why were you in the pool?” He asked. “I bet you’re not wanting to swim badly.”

“Hey! Seriously?” I laughed.

“Oh!” He exclaimed. “What’s funny then?”

“I just find it amusing to hear you talking a lot today. Well, you only talked for not more than 2 to 3 sentences. You’re like a man with few words.” I explained.

That made him laughed.

“And now, I can witness your laughter. You look good when you smile.” I expressed.

“Here. Take it.” He offered his black tuxedo jacket. “You might get cold after swimming with your ball gown on a cold night.”

“I’m okay.” I insisted trying not to sound like I wanted to. 

But even before I rejected his kind gesture, he already drew closer and put his jacket around my back. And that short moment where he was just an inch closer to me, makes my heart beats faster. I don’t know if the coldness makes my body stiff or the way he acted like a gentleman when he covered my chilling body with his jacket. I froze for a moment. I feel like I couldn’t breathe for a minute. My mind suddenly went blank. Everything became “slow-mo” as if someone purposely stopped the time.

“Oh! It’s raining. Hurry! We should take a shade on that tree or unless we can get soaked twice.” Zac shouted. “Hurry!” He offered his hand.

And for some strange reason, I took his hand. We hurriedly run towards the tree he suggested taking a shade from the pouring rain. The raindrops strike my eyes as we run. The shoes Zac gave me after saving me from the pool get wet and muddy. But even looking like a mess at that very moment, I somehow feel happy. Zac held my hands tightly as if he didn’t want to lose me. Just like the old days, he always knew how to comfort me and put that smile on my face. He’s truly my knight-in-shining armor.

“I don’t think the rain would pass easily,” Zac uttered while looking at the sky.

“You know, what’s the best thing to do when it’s raining hard?” I asked.

“Sleeping?” He sounded not so sure.

“It could be. But we can’t sleep outside with our current situation.” I clarified. “But we can listen to music while waiting for the rain to pass,” I added while placing the left part of the earpiece into Zac’s left ear.

Just like when we're young, we listen to our favorite song while touching the rain that falls from the leaves of the tree. We stayed in that situation for a couple of minutes when Zac suddenly offered his hand.

“Would like to dance?” He uttered out of a sudden.

“Seriously? Right now?” I asked feeling surprised.

“Why not?” He softly replied. “And it would be my honor to dance with the queen of the night, right?” He added with a smile.

Slow dancing jived with romantic music makes my embarrassing night into a magical and romantic one. A moment that felt like a dream—a dream I don’t want to wake up to. And just like how Cinderella dance together with her prince, I also dance with my prince. And slowly, he moved his face closer. I guess this is what they say that there’s no perfect formula when to kiss. It just happened spontaneously. And you will only know when—when you feel it from your heart.

“Ouch!” I shouted after falling from my bed. “Ah! What perfect timing! Just a bit closer and we would be kissing. It’s okay. I will just sleep for a bit and continue my dream, right?” I added while trying to sleep but it won’t work.

Suddenly I thought of something. “Wait. Don’t tell me everything was just a dream. No way!” I screamed while covering myself with my blanket and rolled into my bed like crazy.

“Andi! Wake up now.” Nanny Fely nagged. “You’re phone has been ringing for an hour now. Did you say that you’ll be going on an out-of-town trip with your friends today?”

Her last words stuck into my head as if I was electrified. I get up immediately and rushed to my bathroom. I need to be quick. Because of getting hooked up on that dream, I almost forgot the trip my friends and I have been planning since early last month. But because of everything that has happened, it always won’t push through. Plus, I wanted to go this time, especially what happened last night.

“Wait.” I stopped putting on make-up and stared closely at the mirror on my vanity table. “What happened after the dance? Why can’t I remember what happened?” I was thinking hard when my phone suddenly rings. It was Cloe.

“Yes!” I answered.

“Where are you now? We’re all here outside your house.” Cloe exclaimed. “Hurry, okay? You don’t want to make your prince keep on waiting, right?” She teasingly added.

“Yes! Coming!” I excitedly added while quickly packing up my things.

“Bye!” I shouted as I stride outside.

“Keep safe, okay?” Nanny Fely voiced out. “Call me right away if anything happens. Take care!”

“Yes!” I added.

“Andi!” Cloe shouted as she hugged me. “Finally, we can go on a trip together. I mean together because Zac is coming!”

She added while singing the last word.

Everyone laughed. I guess it just shows how happy we are. I mean we’ve planned a lot of trips together but it’s not as happy as this one because it’s either Zac is not present or one of us has prior compromises. This is the first time in history.

“Hey, guys! I think it would be nice if we could keep this special moment and sealed it with a picture, right? Liam added. “So, let’s take a “groupie”!” He commented as he positioned his newly bought canon camera.

“Hi!” I greeted Zac as we one by one hop into the coaster bus.

“Hi!” He replied.

His sweet gestures make my heart flutter for a moment. I’m pinching myself trying to make sure I’m not dreaming or hallucinating. I wanted to make sure that Zac is talking to me while showing his cute smile.

“Thank goodness. It was really for real.” I giggled secretly after everyone get in on the bus. “Get a grip of yourself, Ans. This is not the time to be slow-witted. This is your chance to confess to Zac about your true feelings. Fighting!”

“We’re here,” Cloe announced. “Welcome to Casa Felicidad. A haven that will soothe your broken soul. Feel refresh. Feel revived.”

We all grinned. “Hey! Your tag line sucks.” Liam commented.

“What?” Cloe asked looking so pissed off as she strongly punches Liam’s back.

“Ouch!” Liam shouted.

And now they are running all over the place. The more we burst into laughter. They are the definition of “cats and dogs”—always annoying each other, no one would want to lose.

“Hey! Stop it!” I added after seeing how they became so serious about getting back on each other. “You might end up with each other if you won’t stop.”

“No way!” They opposed in sync.

“Hey! We’re not here to fight with each other, remember?” Ethan remarked. “We’re here to have fun, isn’t it? Let’s go!”

Thankfully, the commotion sobers up. Before, I thought it was just a simple-friendly-cats-and-dog-thing. I mean friends sometimes annoy each other. But at the end of the day, they’ll reconcile. Everything turns smooth again. That was like them before. That’s why we just ignore it. But now, it’s getting pretty serious.

“We’ll be staying here in room 12,” Cloe said. “The boys will be staying together in the opposite room.”

“Wow!” I uttered. “This is good. And look at the view. It’s perfect. How did you…? Wait!” I added after feeling like something’s off with this room assignment. “If this side gets this beautiful view that means the other side doesn’t, right?” I added after realizing how Cloe’s tactics have somehow shown a vengeful move. “Hey!” I pinched her on the side. “Bad girl.”

“What?” She pretentiously asked. “I didn’t do anything. I mean we only got this room and the other one as the choices because all the other rooms have been occupied. It’s peak season. And of course, I would choose this room over the other. That’s an obvious answer, right?”

“But, you choose to get revenge on Liam. And you included Zac and Ethan with your scheme. You’re a bitch.” I pinched her on the side that made us fall into bed. “But seriously C (the shortcut for her name), I know you like someone else. I know your preferences for a guy. But did the thought came into your mind about falling for Liam?”

“What?” That made her jump off the bed. “Of course not. Even in my dreams, never will I fall for him. The nerve of that guy.” She strongly added. “Hey! I thought you were my friend, how come you asked me such things?”

“I’m your friend that’s why I’m asking you this stuff. I mean you know the saying, the more you hate the more you love, right? I’d just wanted to know first-hand so that your “cat-and-dog-fight” will not get any too serious. We have to take precautions.” I explained.

“Let’s just get ready for bed, okay?” She nagged. “I think you’re just tired that’s why your hallucinating things. I’ll take the shower first, okay?”

“Okay!” I nodded.

After arranging my things, I walked towards the veranda and enjoying the view from the top. “This is so nice!” I told myself. But while I was looking outside, someone caught my eyes. I just couldn’t see clearly but my heart tells me it was Zac who was sitting on the sand. I called to confirm it. And my assumptions were right, he was outside and enjoying the view closely.

“Hey!” I greeted.

He smiled. “Hey!”

“What are you doing here all alone? I mean where’s Ethan and Liam by the way.” I started the conversation casually.

“Mmm… Liam is taking the shower while Ethan is suddenly knocked off. I guess he was just so tired from the travel.” Zac clarified. “And me…” There he goes again with his stuttering words. Pausing. Breathing. And then, talking. “I’d just wanted to enjoy the sea breeze at night. And you?”

Now, he passes the hot seat on me. “Faster brain. You need to answer quickly.” I told myself.

“Mmm… Cloe’s taking the shower first. I was just enjoying the view from there.” I pointed to the veranda in our room. “But then, I realize it would be nice to enjoy the view closely, right?”

‘That’s it, self. Good answer. Simple. Straight to the point. Casual. And more relax.’ I told myself.

“Can I ask you something?” I uttered.

“Sure,” Zac replied.

“Why did you choose to spend your birthday with us? I mean we’re happy that you’re here with us right now and we get a chance to celebrate your special day together. But I just expected that you’ll be celebrating it with our mom.” I wondered.

I guess my question was so hard to answer right away especially that he’s stalling for a moment looking far away on the sea.

“You don’t need to answer if you don’t want to,” I explained immediately. “I mean it was just out of curiosity. No pressure.” I tried to smile a bit after seeing how his face suddenly gets too serious.

“Just because.” He shortly answered. “I just want my birthday to be different this year.”

“Of course,” I added.

But why do I feel like there’s more to it? He might be a man of few words but the tone of his voice is telling something’s not right. I wanted to ask further. I wanted to know what’s wrong. But I stopped myself. Because whatever it is, I know Zac has a reason why he doesn’t want to share it with anyone. And besides, it’s his birthday. I want him to enjoy this special day.

Early morning as soon as the sun rises, we get up on the bed. Cloe was just sleeping like a pig but I wake her up. I throw some pillow on her but he won’t budge. I tickled her ears but she will just giggle and go back to sleep.

“Hey! Get up. The boys are already up. They’re joining the morning exercise on the beach. We have to be there.” I pestered her.

“It’s still too early. Just let me sleep for five minutes, okay?” She uttered while covering herself with the blanket.

“Fine. I’ll just go on my own.” I said. “But you have to follow after sleeping for five minutes, okay? We have a lot of things to prepare. Remember, it's Zac’s birthday!” I roared into her ears that made her pushed me.

“Okay, okay. Just go.” And now she’s pushing me. “Just let me have more sleep, okay? Bye!”

“Bye!” I replied.

“Good morning, guys!” I happily greeted while doing some stretching.

“Good morning, dude!” Ethan responded while Zac was just giving a sweet smile.

“Good morning, Zac!” I added while approaching him.

“By the way, where’s Cloe?” Liam asked.

“Why? Did you miss her?” I teased him.

“Yuck!” Liam uttered. “Of course, not. I just thought why she’s not here.”

“Really?” Ethan joined the force in teasing him.

“Stop it, okay?” Liam protested.

“What? We’re not saying anything.” Ethan added.

“I’m not falling for her, okay? Never!” Liam strongly objected.

“So, you like her?” I asked.

“Of course not!” He replied. “Are you deaf? I just said I don’t like her.”

“Sure. But why are you sweating a lot?” Ethan added.

“Because you’re treating me like I’m a criminal here.” He defended himself.

“Hey! We’re just joking.” Ethan explained.

And we both laughed looking at how distressed Liam is. I can’t believe that a simple question would make him boil his blood and sweat a lot. Zac and I looked at each other. I guess we have a clear understanding that Liam has feelings for Cloe. He might not realize it for now but his sudden reaction proves he likes her.

The first activity we had after eating our breakfast was island hopping. Thankfully after the morning exercise Cloe already woke up. So, we were able to get on the yacht earlier. Thus, giving us a lot of time to enjoy the view of almost every island within the area. We have fun under the sun.

Two hours before sunset, we moved back to the resort. Not because we don’t want more island-hopping adventures but because Cloe and I have to prepare a romantic birthday surprise for Zac. Well, the two other boys—Ethan and Liam were also part of the preparation. They’ll be the ones who will lure Zac for a moment while Cloe and I will be preparing everything. We decided to halves the tasks so that Zac will not suspect anything. But the secret-confession-thing was just a secret between Cloe and me. I don’t want the other two to know especially that Liam is not good at keeping secrets. His ears will suddenly turn red once he’s lying. Just imagine how such a dilemma would affect my surprise.

“It was a tiring day, isn’t it?” Cloe uttered while giving me signals to go along with her.

“Yes! Indeed. It was fun but very tedious. It consumed my energy a lot. I just want to sleep early on the bed right now” I added.

“Of course.” Liam voiced out.

“We’ll go ahead, okay? Good night!” Cloe uttered.

 “Are they still there?” Cloe asked.

“I don’t think so. I think they left to after we go.” I responded.

“That’s great,” Cloe added.

After making sure that the three boys also left, Cloe and I immediately rushed to the rooftop to prepare the surprise birthday party for Zac. Looking at the scene makes us feel tired. I mean who wouldn’t. We’re just two and yet there are a lot of things to do. Luckily, Liam came over.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I came to help,” Liam answered. “My instincts tell me you need my muscles for this stuff.” He added while stretching his arm muscles even though looking at it, it was just a simple arm muscle. But I didn’t tease him this time. I mean I needed all the help available to make this surprise a success.

But, Cloe won’t let this push through. “Muscles? Where is it exactly?...”

Luckily, I was able to cover her mouth before she would add another comment that would boil Liam’s blood. I cannot afford any commotion this time. Not this time. Not this special day. And thankfully, I was able to calm the raging storm before it gets any worse.

“I’ll go with the lights and you with the designs over there, okay?” Cloe ordered. “And you.” She pointed to Liam. “You go with the candles over there.”

“Hey! Why do you sound like you’re the boss here?” Liam added.

“Why? Do you have a problem with that?” Cloe protested.

“Hey, guys! Will you please stop it just for today? Please?” I begged.

I sighed. I can’t believe I’m actually in this situation right now—being caught up at the center with this two. I feel like they will explode at any moment.

After preparing all the stuff for more than an hour and with Cloe and Liam’s help, we were able to finish right on time. Zac’s birthday is not today but tomorrow. But we decided that we have to celebrate it at midnight. Cloe, Liam, and Ethan will be joining the celebration at first so that Zac won’t suspect anything. Then 30 minutes before 12, they will one by one would act like their sleepy or something just to get out of the scene. And Zac and I will be the only ones left. That’s my cue to give my gift and confess my feelings for him. Honestly, that was all Cloe’s idea. I mean I already had been traumatized with this surprising confession thing after the last one turns out to be a disaster.

“All set!” Cloe announced. “But wait, did you double-check everything?” She asked Liam.

“Yes! Everything is perfect.” Liam replied.

“Okay. Now, we just have to call Zac and Ethan for the party to begin.” Cloe added. “But wait, why are you not dress with the one I gave you last night? You should look beautiful tonight, Ans. Come here. I have to make you look beautiful. Hurry!” She added while dragging me into our room. “You wait here, okay? She ordered Liam. “I’ll be texting you if we’re done so that you can call Zac and Ethan over, okay?”

“Yes,” Liam answered.

“Listen carefully, okay?” Cloe strongly added.

“Hey!” Liam will do a good job. You don’t have to nag him every time. Just go easy with him.” I pleaded.

After a few minutes, we finished dressing up. Thankfully, Cloe helped me with my look. I guess this is what so nice about having friends. I mean she’s really good. I’m not expecting anything, especially that some of our classmates have been teasing her for being boyish. But I guess that’s just how her swag is.

“Now, we’re ready for the party,” Cloe suggested. “I already texted Liam that we’re coming.

“Thank you so much, C. You’re the best,” I commented.

“No worries,” Cloe replied. “You know that I’m the no. 1 fan of your tandem, right? So, I will do everything I can to help you out.”

“Thank you a lot.” I hugged her.

“Let’s stop this drama first, okay?” Cloe added. “We don’t want to make your prince keep on waiting, right?”

“Yes!” And we both laugh.

As soon as we arrived, Cloe has been ordering Liam around. “So, did you texted Zac and Ethan to come over?”

“Yes. They’re coming.” Liam replied.

Then, the door opens. Zac entered dressed up casually but looking as handsome as he is. Well, any outfit would look amazing on him. Whether a simple to a more prince-like attire makes him more dashing as ever.

“Surprised!” We all shouted and sang a happy birthday song as the lights magically light up the whole place.

“Happy birthday, Zac!” We greeted in chorus.

“Thank you, guys!” Zac with teary eyes uttered.

“Let’s party!” Cloe shouted.

Everyone handed down our gifts to Zac and wished him a happy birthday. We sang. We danced. We laughed our hearts out. It was the best night ever. But that’s not the main point of this surprise, that’s why Cloe, Ethan, and Liam played along before midnight as we planned all along. But what surprised me is to see how Ethan and Liam would go with the flow even though they don’t know the whole plan.

“Happy birthday, Zac!” I remarked.

“Thank you.” Zac smiled.

“Here’s my gift—my second gift,” I added as I turn off the lights and turn on the video on the screen.

It was just a 5-minute video presentation all filled with our memories together. A simple gift from the heart. A simple gift but talks about my true feelings for him.

“And my last gift,” I added while kissing him on the cheek.

“What was that?” Zac asked in surprise.

“I like you, Zac. I do.” I confessed. “Not as a friend.”

“I’m sorry.” He sadly uttered.

The romantic mood suddenly turns to a melodrama. I can’t believe I’ve been rejected twice. Although the first one wasn’t from confession still I got rejected. And now, this time, I got rejected again.

“Why?” I confusingly asked.

“I also like you Andi but just for a friend.” He explained.

“Was it because of Amanda?” I asked with tears falling from my eyes.

“No.” He answered.

“Then what?” I added. “I mean what about you knight-in-shining-armor thing when you save me from drowning? Then, you offered your jacket to me when I got cold. And the dance… Don’t tell me everything was just nothing to you. I know you feel something for me. The way you look. The way you smile. The way you cared for me. Tell me, am I just expecting too much?”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“I don’t need your sorry Zac. I wanted to know why. I just don’t get it. Everything doesn’t make sense.” I uttered.

Then, he hugged me tightly while crying and saying an endless sorry.

“Let me go,” I yelled.

“No.” Zac held me tightly.

“Let’s just talk when you can give me an exact answer to all my questions. But for now, I don’t want to see you. So, please let me go.” I uttered.

I ran to the beach and cried my heart out. I don’t know what to think. I’ve been trying to understand what was happening. But every time I do so, I always end up with more questions. The more I don’t get it. The more everything doesn’t make sense.

I know life is full of uncertainties. I mean no matter how much you planned out things, there will always something that will ruin everything. But I didn’t expect this to be this hard. I know people say that you need to take a step backward to move a better step forward. A setback to prepare and calm your nerves to make wiser and better actions. But I didn’t know that this setback would be this painful enough to bear.