SILENT STRUGGLES

CHAPTER SIX

Ewla pov:

After the night out with Latty, I was happy. I had hugged her but she had not replied. Had I f****d up? Why didn’t she respond? I was so confused as she left that it bothered me. Her ears had turned red. Was she mad? Those were the last thoughts before I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up. My schedule was as usual, with my strawberry lemonade delivered as usual. Only that this time Latty had delivered it herself. Seeing her in the morning was a blessing. I couldn’t ask for anything more. However, one thing I noticed after Latty left was that most people's attention was on me. I could feel my anxiety starting to rise, but I tried my best to keep it at bay since, being a celebrity, one was always in the spotlight. As the day proceeded, I could hear rumors from people around, but I should have gotten used to it, since along with being a celebrity came a lot of scandals and rumors. They were inevitable.

Many were saying I was dating Latty while others said I was just an attention seeker for the seniors, while some wished to be in my place. It was understandable that Latty was gorgeous. It was nothing new to me and surprisingly enough I didn’t feel bothered. As lunch break came, Latty picked me up and took me to a nearby restaurant. It was an all-Korean restaurant didn’t help at all. I mean never in my whole life had I taken a Korean dish.

Noticing my embarrassment, latty offered to order on my behalf with first inquiring for my preference of whether I spicy or non-spicy food. Just like my life, I preferred non spicy food. I surely didn’t fancy talking with a burning hot mouth. I needed to feel my lips and tongue. As Latty enjoyed her Tteokbokki, like she called it, I enjoyed my Bulgogi as it was mouth-watering: with the taste being a harmonious balance of sweet and savory, with the sesame oil providing a nutty undertone and the garlic adding a gentle kick. The beef itself was incredibly juicy and tender, practically melting in your mouth. Paired with steamed rice and a variety of side dishes.

After enjoying our meal and learning what was favorable for a picky eater like I was, we left for the company. It being a twenty minutes-walk, helped us exercise. After all, we were going to dance classes. Lots of dancing due to the heavy choreography our choreographers had decided to load us with. In comfortable silence and small talk here and there, we made our way back. I guess I could say I was enjoying Latty company a little too much. Deep down, I made sure to remind myself to avoid attachment. Maybe one day I would wake up to find out that it was all a dream.

That evening after work, I found my three roommates awake. For the first time since we had become roommates, they had greeted me, which I found suspicious, since they had gone all of a sudden from talking to being quiet alongside the unusual greeting. After getting ready for bed one of them asked, “hey mmmmh E…yla,” “it’s Ewla,” I retorted back. She was really getting on my nerves. “Don’t call me if you can’t recall my name. Son of a b***h!” Was what I wanted to say but decided on the latter. “What’s your relationship with Latty? Are y’all girlfriends or something?”

Had I expected anything better? Absolutely not. Had my relationship with latty bothered everyone that much? Noticing their curious gazes, I realized I was yet to answer them. At least unlike the others she had had the gut to ask or should I say balls? “Nah, we just friends.” Was all I said before I got an Oh for a reply, then back to silence as usual. God would really not be on my side if I were to debut with them as my group members.

The last thought before slumber overtook me due to exhaustion was that “so they could speak English yet all along they were always conversing in Korean or Japanese.” Good thing I had had no expectations from them. That was yet another life lesson I had learned from high school. That I should not put expectations on anyone yet, that didn’t hinder me from putting some on my beloved family.

The same routine of Latty and I having meals together whenever we had breaks together went on. As the weeks passed by, so did the rumors persist. I had expected them to be a hot topic for a week, then life to go on, yet here we were in the third week with Latty and the headphone girl being the topic of discussion among the trainees. Let alone that some had even gone to the extent of spreading them outside the company. That had me thinking just how popular Latty was.

That Friday morning, I had found myself at the managers' office doorstep. Don’t ask me I was clueless too. I mean what could have been wrong, I had been receiving my family’s calls, I was improving in my dance classes and as usual I was the best in the vocal classes. Finding it pointless to ponder over something I had no clue about, I knocked on the door, which was responded with a faint come in.

“Good morning Ewla, I hear from the trainers you’ve been doing well,”

“Good morning too. Yes, I have been trying hard to improve.”

“That’s good to hear. I have something very important to discuss with you.”

“Yes, I’m listening,” Saying my heart was pounding loud enough for the manager to hear would be an understatement. I mean, what else could this be about? Me getting fired?

“No losing you would be a loss to the company. It's about something else.”

I hadn’t noticed that I had said that out loud. “What is it about then?”

“As you know, Latty is pretty popular in and out of the company and her group is about to debut,”

“Yes, that’s amazing. I’m sure they’ll do great.”

“Well, you should know that she is the leader of the group and her reputation matters the most”

“I didn’t know that, but she is good as a leader. She has the demeanor of a leader. I’m sure she’ll do well.”

“You know as well that there are rumors around the company and some outside too about the two of you, right?”

“Yes, but the rumors aren’t true. We are just friends.”

“Well, I know that, and I understand she is the only one that you are close to, but you know the rumors will affect her group's debut and reputation too.”

“So, I should stay away from her? Is that what you're saying?”

“Yes. If you care for her and the company, you should. It is better that way for the two of you”

“Yes, I understand. I will stay away from her.”

“Thank you. I knew you would understand. That makes a quality of a good leader. You're pretty selfless. I’m impressed. You may leave.”