I-WILL-DIE

I’m Sorry 🥺

That person vanished from the end of this wall or I'm just really creating some illusions in my mind again.

Oh! Art! Stop it! He is not Ivan ! He is not here! (I've said to myself while holding my breath)

Are you okay? He exclaimed.

Stop your illusions Art! (Controlling my imaginative mind)

What? Are you okay? He asked.

Is it real? (Pinching myself)

What happened? Are you okay? He asked again.

(Going back to reality)

What are you doing here? Don't tell me you’re stalking me. Are you happy now? Seeing me as weak as a newly born child? Don't worry I'm still breathing. So go home and don't pity me!

Babe--- stop pretending you can do it on your own. Stop pretending everything is okay. He said.

Shut up! You don't know everything and you don't know anything! i***t! (I explode though I know his right)

No, you're wrong. I know everything. I know every detail of you. He said calmly

What? (I'm mystified)

I know everything even from the start. I've noticed that you are always preoccupied. It seems that you are pondering for something. - he is trying to get my sympathy

So what? You still don't know everything! ( I yelled him)

I know everything! (It was my first time to see him acting like this. I was shocked and paid my attention to what he was next to say.

Listen, did you forget that my dad is a doctor? And all the doctors that you consulted are his companions and associates. They contacted me about your situation. Right then, I’m always following you. I don’t know what to do but I know I want to be with you for the rest of your time. So, I immediately plan my wedding proposal to you. Harshly, you rejected it and you never know how much pain it brought to me. In spite of what you have done I’ve never stopped loving and understanding you. Even though you went far away from me, I still exerted my effort. I’m an i***t? Yes, could you imagine I drove 3 to 4 hours everyday just to check your condition? I talked to your mom and dad to comfort you because I’m not on your side. Remember the day that your favorite foods were served to you? I cooked all of those before going to work. When all of the important people were in your room, I called them one by one to see you and make you feel loved though I’m not there. You will always have my eyes on you. That’s how much I love you; I’m willing to give everything to you. He hugged me and he started to cry)

“I’m so--- “ (As the sun fell asleep, I lost my consciousness)

—————————————————-

I opened my eyes; I’m here in a room with a medicine scent. All is white and gloomy. Beside me is a man taking his nap. He is the one who appreciates me so much.

(Looking at his face makes the whole world mean to me. I can’t resist kissing him, so I did)

I miss you. Are you okay babe? (Did I wake him up? Ooops I’m sorry)

Yes, I’m okay. Babe about what I--- (He put his point finger to my lips)

Let’s not talk about it, okay babe. (He kissed me to my forehead)

But--- (I want to explain everything but he interrupts me)

Even if I’m looking foolish here, I will still choose to understand you. I am supposed to be mad at you but I really love you. And it all matters. I have only one favor for you. Please?

What? – I asked

Will you marry me? (he is smiling just like he is teasing me)

But---

No but’s! I’m serious, will you marry me babe? (This time he is really dedicated to what he said)

YES (finally I’ve said it.)

The quietness of that place filled with the loudness of joy in our hearts.

———————————————————-

We went to America to seek some cure to my disease. Providentially, the Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) formulated a medicine called Chitosan Chollamin.

After 4 years…

I thought I had unsurpassed courage, I really thought I could. People see me as a perfect example of an impeccable individual. As they always say I have those 3B's and 1W (beauty, brain, bravery and wealth) that an ideal woman of this world should possess. I thought I really have everything until --- I found out this chastisement of life. People think I'm strong enough but they are all wrong. They are just ignorant of what I hide inside of me.

But…

I’m not really perfect. I have my flaws and weaknesses. I’m not a god that could do everything. I have an imperfect life and I will die. Yes die, Die for a selfish, pretender and eccedentesiast individual. I may not be the Artemis before but you know what ? I still have those people who stayed in my life after all the troubles and dramas in my journey.

I’m Patricia Artemis Dominguez-Rodriguez a stage 3 breast cancer--- survivor! And I am proud to say I CAN-CERvive ☺