Chapter 8: Why?
1089 Words
I sat on the floor of my room, the weight of everything still pressing down on me, but for the first time in years, Ryder was next to me—really next to me. Not just standing across a room, looking at me with that distant, detached gaze. Now, he was right here, shoulder to shoulder, both of us leaning against my bed, the silence between us filled with unspoken words.
After a long stretch of quiet, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. There were too many questions, too much confusion clouding my thoughts. I turned my head to look at him, trying to read his expression, but Ryder’s face was unreadable, as it had been for years.
“Why?” I asked, my voice low but steady. “Why did they really want us apart?”
He glanced at me, his eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t quite place, before looking away again, staring at the floor. “They said we were getting too close.”
I frowned, feeling a mix of hurt and confusion. “Too close? What does that even mean? We were just… siblings. Best friends.”
Ryder ran a hand through his hair, a gesture that showed just how uncomfortable he was with this conversation. “That’s not how they saw it. Dad thought it was a problem. He said an Alpha can’t rely on anyone, especially not his sister. That I had to stand alone, be independent. He didn’t want me to need anyone.”
I swallowed hard, feeling my chest tighten. “But we’ve always been close, Ryder. Since we were kids. Why did it matter all of a sudden?”
Ryder let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Because I’m next in line to be Alpha. And Dad… he’s been drilling it into my head that an Alpha has to be strong on his own. That if I depended on anyone—even you—it would make me look weak. He said people would talk. They’d think I couldn’t handle the responsibility.”
His words made my stomach churn. I’d always known our father was strict, demanding, and impossible to please, but I hadn’t realized the extent of it. I hadn’t known how much pressure he’d put on Ryder, how much he was forcing him to carry alone.
“But that’s not fair,” I muttered, more to myself than to Ryder. “It’s not fair to put all of that on you.”
Ryder’s jaw clenched, his hands balling into fists. “No, it’s not. But Dad doesn’t care about fair. He cares about strength, about reputation. He doesn’t think I can afford to have any weaknesses. And apparently, being close to you was a weakness.”
I felt my throat tighten, anger bubbling up inside me. “That’s bullshit, Ryder. You’re not weak for having people who care about you. You’re not weak for having me.”
Ryder’s face twisted with frustration, and he finally looked at me, his blue eyes filled with a pain I hadn’t seen in years. “You think I don’t know that? I hate this. I hate being on my own. Dad’s been training me to handle everything by myself, and I hate it, Faye. I hate doing everything alone because all I can think about is how I’m going to mess up. How I’m going to let everyone down.”
His voice cracked on the last word, and I realized how deeply this burden had been weighing on him. For years, I thought he had pushed me away because he didn’t care, because he wanted to distance himself. But now I understood that it wasn’t his choice—it was forced on him. By our parents. By the weight of his future as Alpha.
“I’m so afraid, Faye,” Ryder whispered, his voice barely audible. “I’m so afraid that when the time comes, I’m going to fail. I don’t know how to do this on my own, and I hate that I don’t have you by my side anymore. You were always the one who kept me grounded, and without you… I feel like I’m falling apart.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened to him, the weight of his words breaking my heart. I reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. “Ryder, you don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to listen to Dad. You’re not weak for needing help, for needing me. I don’t care what they say—being strong doesn’t mean you have to carry everything by yourself.”
He squeezed my hand back, his grip tight, almost desperate. “I don’t want to do this alone anymore, Faye. I don’t want to be like Dad, shutting everyone out and acting like I can handle everything on my own. But every time I try to push back, he just makes me feel like I’m not good enough. Like I’m not going to be the Alpha he expects.”
I shook my head, my tears slipping down my cheeks. “You are good enough, Ryder. You’re going to be an amazing Alpha, but not because you do it all alone. You’re going to be great because you care about people. Because you’re not afraid to ask for help. That’s what makes a real leader.”
Ryder looked at me, his expression softening. “You think so?”
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I know so. And I’ll be there with you, whether Dad likes it or not. We’re a team, Ryder. We always have been.”
He exhaled slowly, his body relaxing for the first time since we started talking. “I missed you, Faye. I didn’t realize how much until now.”
“I missed you too,” I whispered, my voice breaking with emotion. “More than you’ll ever know.”
We sat there in silence for a while, our hands still intertwined, both of us feeling the weight of everything we had lost but also the hope of what we could rebuild.
Finally, Ryder let out a small, humorless laugh. “Dad’s gonna lose his mind when he realizes I’m not following his plan.”
I smiled through my tears, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction at the thought. “Good. It’s about time we stopped following his rules.”
Ryder grinned at me, a glimmer of the brother I used to know shining through. “Yeah, it is."
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