Illusion of Integrity

Self Realization

"Rainbow, I don't get it." Riss lies on her own bed in the night. Yesterday, so much happened that it exhausted her into sleeping earlier.

["About?"]

"Why Papa seems to hide things from me?"

["You know, I think people hide something from other because of different reasons. Some because they don't trust others, some because they don't recognize other's abilities, or even because of insecurity."]

"Then what do you think of Papa?"

["You want the honest opinion?"]

"Yes, please!"

["Truth hurts you know."]

"I know, please tell me."

["Dad doesn't recognizes your abilities. Maybe adults think that you are not dependable enough. Or maybe with you knowing, you will even make a fatal mistake that endangers yourself, like being reckless"]

"I'm not that stupid."

["Compared to whom? Can you even lead an army? Can you even manage the mansion? Or anything that adults can do.]

"That's...true..."

["You see, there is a thing called growing up. Growing up doesn't only mean to grow older. It means growing in term of mentality too."]

"Then what about you?"

['I don't know, I'm just being myself. I don't even know how old I am. but I know that I'm a cautious and calculative person. I don't do things recklessly, I always think about things."]

"So, what do you think that we should do?"

["You need a goal."]

"Why?"

["To push yourself harder, to test your limit and to break it."]

"Why should I push myself to my limit? I always think that working hard is enough."

["Because there are things that you may regret because of your inabilities in the future."]

"Hmmmmmmm, yeah you are right. What is my motivation? I just wanna do my best, to help my family."

["At least you have a purpose. But there are things dangerous out there. If you can't survive yourself, how can you help your family?"]

"I think I understand."

["No one in this world ever have the obligation to change things. But in my opinion, having a good background, having a good talent, but you do nothing about it, is a sin. Because others are not as lucky as you are. And you are not doing anything meaningful with everything that you have."]

"Doing nothing is a sin..."

["But doing things relying on yourself too much, is an idiocy. You will learn, it takes time, but it will be worth it to pursue perfection."]

"I'm not going to pursue perfection."

['I wasn't asking you to. I was talking to myself."]

"You mean, with our body?"

["I find happiness in achieving greatness."]

***** In The Morning *****

["You seriously gonna do it?"]

"Yes."

["I see."]

Knock knock!

"Yes, come in." Bernidas puts the document under another document, and readies himself.

"Papa.." With a nervous smile, Riss comes in and encourages herself. Her breath is heavy, it feels suffocating.

"Sweetie, come here. What is it?" Without further ado, Bernidas rises and walks towards Riss, his steps are slow but sure. A big smile appears, calming the heart of Riss's. "Sit here, Sweetie." He points her hands toward the sofa in his office.

"Papa, I want to ask you something." Riss opens her mouth after they both sits down.

"Just tell me then."

"Papa, what do you think about me?"

"You are pretty, maybe no one in this country is as beautiful as you and your sister."

"No that's not what I meant, Papa. I mean, am I good enough to be your daughter? All that I did was just spending my time playing, I read books for sure, but I don't think I ever did something meaningful."

That surprises Bernidas, with eyes opened, he goes speechless. Unable to utter a single word at her daughter's trouble.

"Papa, I... think that I can do something, be something. Not just as a valuable daughter, but as a valuable person."

"That's amazing, Riss. I never thought that you are this mature."

"No, I talked with Rainbow last night. She told me so many things. She opened my eyes."

["..."]

"Haha, what a good daughter she is. So, what do you think yourself?"

"Will you put more trust on me?"

"How much trust?"

"To the extreme, Papa." Her vision burns vividly, "Later, I will be going to school. But I think, school is not that important."

"Why is it not important?"

"Because what's more important is, to not just spend time doing things as is. Driven by surroundings."

["That is actually amazing."]

"Okay then. Now, my question won't be about what do you want, but, what do you need to achieve your goal?"

"Papa, help me change myself. I need your help."

Those words are meaningful. Like a thunderclap in the middle of the day, such mindset, such humbleness to comes from a child is beyond the normal understanding. Bernidas is so proud. His heart burns, thumps heavily. For him, it feels like he wants to grab and hugs her right away, but he does well holding himself. This is a critical moment.

"Riss, you said, to the extreme?"

"Yes, Papa."

"You know, there was a legend passed down from the older generation of our family. That we are a family that surpasses time. I never found out the truth of it. But maybe you can. Your skill is the proof of it. That Eyes of the Time is nothing simple. Who knows? Maybe that will be your clue, Sweetie."

"My Eyes of Time..."

"Anyway, I have something to show you then. I showed it to Fenicia last year. I was thinking of telling you this much later on, but I think you are ready now."

"You want to show something, Papa?"

"Come, follow me, Riss."