COUNTING DOWN THE YEARS

FINALLY

Looks like my visit did help a little. I'm saying things are looking up. I now have an audience of a hundred people. That is good. Slow but steady. And I get feedback too so I know it's not computer error or anything. 

Feels good to share with people and receive feedback from them. Peter and  Drew did get my numbers up I'm glad I went to seek them out. Although I feel like they should be more but they are not because some of them must use one computer to read together. It's cool anyways as long as they're faithful. Every writer out there must really love faithful readers who motivate them. I'm more interested, more inspired to write for just them. 

I also look forward to reading their feedback and enjoy myself. I feel like I have a purpose in life now. Although I can't stop wondering how it would feel like to write for a crowd of a thousand or even... Million people. I'd lose my mind. Especially when they tell me they can't wait for the next segment. 

Why don't I sleep one night and wake up to the best news ever. Best news is underlined. Wishful thinking or not I am going to keep on dreaming. A writer can dream! Eye roll for dramatic effect. To think at some point I almost cried thinking my work will never get an attention. I can't explain the joy and gratitude for it all. I mean, it feels so darn good! 

"Hello, Annie! " Throat clearing, " Anne ,Anne speaking ." 

"Oh hi mom, I didn't check the caller ID... "

"Home? Today?... "

"No I don't have a job anymore... But... See... I... Fine. "

And that is how my mother gets me to go home for the weekend. Don't get me wrong I love my parents but me going home is like burdening them. I don't want them taking care of me anymore. With my state of joblessness they'll obviously ask me to move back in to save on rent. I've been there done that, not again. I had convinced myself that they're my parents and there is nothing wrong with that first time around but I got lazy and comfortable. 

I know I'm just twenty, but the whole idea of going to school early and finishing it quickly was because I was always in a hurry to make something big of my life. Everyone dreams of being rich and outliving their parents growing up, right? This is not about ego but caution . 

I'll have to have answers for everything to get myself out of any and every trap my parents might and will set up for me. I don't like that I make them feel like I need cuddles all the time. That I need them bailing me out. Way they have these faces that make me want to stay a day longer, another and another until I forget about my own apartment. 

So I pack a few clothes because my mother calls when chopping up tomatoes ready to make lunch and I can't miss lunch or she'll flip. Good thing I live thirty minutes away so I'll be there when she lays the last plate on the table. Maybe. 

A charger and a novel are the last to go in my bag and I'm ready to leave. I always carry a charger because there is never knowing when your phone dies and you need it the most. Kinda makes me miss the future with wireless chargers in cars or wherever. This generation phone keeps battery going for days without requiring to be charged. 

So forgetting to charge your phone is more common than you think. You remember it when it's already dead. Or maybe it's just me. I must say I'm mostly busy I forget basic human interacting. There could be someone out there who texted a 'hey ' or 'how you doing ' which I didn't reply to. I saw it but didn't at the same time. I must come out as some snobbish person but what can I do? 

Trying to keep up with the internet while doing attending job in a*****e all day could be involving. I don't consider myself employee of the month because I sure as hell know I don't always wear a 'welcome customer ' smile. Some times I'm too anxious to remember that basic rule of making people walking into a*****e comfortable. 

As the bus pulls up on the street close to my parents house I sigh realizing I've been months away. Nothing has changed but I feel guilty. I know they worry and it took them giving me an impromptu visit to find out I lost my job. 

I'm not going to say I'll call more or come visit often because that's a lie. I've been down that road and I know how it all goes down. I'm not a shitty daughter. Far from it,  I'm just being real. Trying to find independence is more involving than we all thought it would be. So I remind them every often I'm okay so they have a good night sleep. 

I alight slowly ignoring the impatient look the bus driver is giving me. I like to stall in case I'm forgetting anything. It can be stressful to try recover something you forgot in a bus. I'd know, because my life is such a roller coaster. 

With one more sigh I walk across the street to my parents house that I don't even knock because the door opens and I'm engulfed in a bear hug. Yeah parents, go ahead and love me to death. I should have come sooner because maybe then they would remember it's just me. I may start considering to think I'm a shitty daughter. 

"You came munchkin. " 

You called and said to come !

"And in time for lunch. " Dad hollers forgetting for a second he is no longer a jock in high school. 

"I came. Let's have lunch then. "

"You are thinner now. Don't you eat? You know, contrary to popular belief human bodies needs all kinds of food. Unless you are allergic which you are not, I want you to eat everything and eat good. You are not doing anyone any favors looking thinner than a toothpick. "

"Mom! Scolding is your big welcome home! " I exclaim  not wanting to hear any of these again. 

The woman never gives up. 

"Do come in. I'll take that. " Dad says grabbing my stuff from me. 

"Thanks but I got it. " I decline politely. 

We have a mini tug of war for a moment until my mom clicks her tongue. 

"Let the man carry that heavy luggage for you. You are not doing anyone any good being this stubborn girly. "

I'm not a baby! But I know all too well that my 'baggage' will be carried inside but not by me. I've carried it all the way I'd like to think I could manage to get it inside. What's ever wrong with my parents? I begrudgingly give my dad the bag and walk away throwing my arms every which way. They want to baby me so a baby I will be for them. 

I hear mom distantly complaining about how childish I'm acting and how she'll keep me home till I grew up. Yeah, she can try! I'd give them hell, she'll disown me in a heartbeat. I go straight to the kitchen . There all my troubles fly out of the window. Homemade food always calm all my nerves. If your mother could cook you know what I mean. 

I sit on my spot since I was like six and serve my plate to overflowing. I'm not greedy, I just miss food made by mom. I start eating like I've just been rescued from a desert. She won't be too happy about this. I don't care because I hadn't realized how hungry I was until now I can't even chew properly. 

"Anne Marion Cavanaugh ! In this house we eat together as a family after saying grace. Look at you being such a... a... Ugh! " Mom laments. 

I just blink at her still chewing furiously then offer a weak, "Grace? " With a mouthful. 

Her left eye twitches and I know I'm pushing a lot of buttons here. Good, let's see if she still wants to keep me here. Dad glares at me and I pout. That softens his expressions. I smirk knowing that works every time. So he pulls mom's chair out and helps her settle on the table. We get to say grace and eat together as a family even with me having broken the ritual. 

I tell them about my blog of course minus my little number of views. Good thing none of them is very invested in computers otherwise they would have asked a lot of questions . Or worse ask for links to be my readers. Dont get me wrong, I'm desperate for reads but parents? No thanks! 

Looking at them smiling and laughing I wonder if they would take it kindly knowing I was born ten years before my time. I don't even know how that works. I have memories from our future but I can't tell them about it. I don't want to end up in a psychiatrist's office or something. Or just burden them with it all. 

"Something wrong hun? " Dad asks concerned. 

I smile weakly because that rudely pulls me out of my spacing out. My heart races a bit. Why did he have to actually shake me? It all disoriented me. 

"Are you okay munchkin? " Mom enquires watching me curiously 

Then imagine this ,suddenly the lights in the house dim until there is total darkness and all I see is the three of us on the table. Parents both asking questions at the same time. Then they start growing bigger and bigger as I cower into the darkness growing smaller and smaller. Now the table along with delicious lunch disappear into thin air. Not the lunch! 

Parents still ask questions. Their voices are now loud and in slow motion . I'm panicked biting on my finger nails looking back and forth between them. I want to scream for them to stop but I'm too small it will just sound like a squeak. A giant can't be intimidated by a rat now can it? 

To my luck, a phone rings. My phone rings. Looks like that was the answer to my troubles because the parents freeze and shut up. Then lights are back, so is lunch and the rest of the house. Whoa that was intense. 

"I have to take this. Excuse me. " I'm too glad to leave the table. 

I'm never good with interrogation. Especially not from parents. And why is Peter calling me? Isn't it like the middle of a school day. Why is he still cutting class when the future is depending so much on him? I don't get why he has to be so stubborn. He... Damn I'm just like my mother. Haven't even answered the call and here I am scolding the kid. 

"Peter? " I speak unsurely into the phone. 

"Annie! It's me. You are on speaker so speak! " Drew says too excitedly.

And say what? 

"You do remember it's you who called right? " I ask rolling my eyes even if he can't see me. 

"Hey Annie, we are in town and wondering if you ever gave us your address. " Peter says. 

"We would have just known that if we were in the future but we are not Annie. So what is your address ?" Drew says laughing mockingly. 

What is this guy's problem, seriously? 

"What do you mean you are in town? Aren't you supposed to be in school? I'm not even in town myself! " I exclaim not believing those boys. 

They are quite for a moment. So am I. 

"Still waiting on that address. " Peter finally speaks 

"Cat got your tongue? " Drew asks. 

"I said I'm not in town. I'm at my parents for a few days. Go to Peter's place or something. " I say rubbing on my temples. 

"Not an option. " Drew says same time Peter says. 

"Can't I'll be punished for skipping school. "

So I see why they insist on having my address. 

"Even if I gave you the address, I'm not there and I don't exactly leave my keys under the door mat. Just go back to school guys. " I advise. 

"Then we'll come to you. Tell us where. "Peter says quickly. 

"Yeah, we'll come. " Drew says unsurely. 

So they insist! 

"Uh... I said I'm at parents so no you can't come... " I don't get to finish my sentence before the phone is snatched right off my hands. 

"Don't speak for us. We love visitors. " Mom scolds disapprovingly. 

I raise my hands up in surrender and leave my parents there talking to the boys. I hope those idiots don't tell my parents about the future. I prefer if I would be the one to tell them and I don't plan on doing that. 

A minute or two later they walk in with giddy smiles. Then they spend the next like half hour  preparing the guest room and the house dusted. I don't lift a finger because I don't want visitors and I'm speaking for myself here. 

I'm for sure going to die this weekend with my parents and the boys in this house. Let's not forget my parents favorite hobby of babying me. I hope the boys get lost for an hour or so because I'll have some little peace and quiet before they get here.