I Am Worthy

Chapter 10: Fix it

Upon reaching the cells, I had to hold my hoodie over my nose due to the stench. If possible, it was worse than when I first found myself here. I began to get used to the wretched smell as we finally stood by the door to one of the cells. It was Giovanni’s. I looked up at Dominik and then at River and both had an angry expression as they looked forward, which, should be intimidating, but to me, it was all the encouragement I needed. I pushed through the cell and looked towards the corner, where a very bruised and beaten Giovanni sat with his knees up and his arms rested over them. His six-foot figure looked small as he sat there. He had silver chains around each wrist, giving him little space to walk within the cell. His bald head reflected the light coming from the bulb that hung from the ceiling, also showing his perspiration. “Look at me.” I demanded once I closed the door behind me. I stood with my arms folded across my chest and an emotionless mask over my face. Slowly his head raised and his deep brown eyes looked into my own. His milky white skin was covered in a layer of sweat, and I could see his bruises trying to heal.

“What is your wolf's name?” I questioned when I knew I had his full attention, but he didn’t respond. “I know you can hear me, wolf, but seeing as I am to be your luna, I would find it more respectable that you come forward and talk. I can remove the chains that hold you if it makes you more comfortable?” I said as I crouched to his level and softened my voice. I watched his eyes flicker, showing me his wolf wanted to talk but was having to fight to come forward. “Let him speak, Giovanni.” I spoke, allowing my irritation to seep through as I did so. After a moment he looked away, lowering his head. When he looked back, his eyes had gone to a golden brown, “My name is Benson.” He spoke, his voice gravelly, “I would appreciate the chains being removed Luna.” He said lowly, his eyes looking between mine to see if I would follow through with my suggestion. I approached him confidently and put my hands over the chains on his wrists. As I continued looking into his eyes, I could see his confusion.

I felt the cold silver in my palms and imagined it breaking. As I did so, I heard them clatter to the floor. I stood and walked back, taking in the burns on Giovanni’s wrists as I did so. “Thank you Luna.” Benson said, shock clearly written across his face and his voice. “Of course. Now I would appreciate you telling me why your alpha thought it was appropriate to attack my pack.” I responded to him, I kept my tone level and my face straight, not giving away the emotions that were brewing inside. “He wants you to be with him.” Was his only reply. “Now, Benson. That was not what I wanted to know. I know he wants me with him, but that has to be on my terms, not his. He is unaware of all that has happened to me and I will not go willingly with a stranger.” I spoke to him, allowing a hint of my emotion out as I did so, hoping he would see the pain I am facing. He stood from where he had been sitting and approached me, his eyes still staring intently into mine. I had to tilt my head back so I could still see his face once he finally stopped only a few inches from me. “Why won’t you just go with him? It would be better for you. For him. For all of us.” “Because, dear, sweet Benson. I don’t trust anyone who would dare threaten me, or those I love. No matter who they are.” I stated. I hardened my face, and steadied my voice. “So, if you do not make him understand that I am not some thing, he can just take. Then your alpha. Your pack. And you, will be no more. That is a promise I will keep even if it kills me.” I continued, allowing the coldness in my voice to make itself apparent in the cell, as Ice began to spread over the walls.

Benson quickly retreated, allowing Giovanni to have control once more. “I can only do so much. He is angry. He will not stop until you are with him. I can’t stand in his way, he is still my alpha. You are not my Luna until you accept that role and mate with him.” Giovanni stated. He appeared conflicted, but I knew where his loyalties lie. “You may go.” I said, stepping aside, “But don’t take my words lightly. I will not be f****d about.” I finished as I turned and left the cell. “How did it go?” Dominik asked me as I exited, but before I could answer, Giovanni stepped out, causing Dominik to let out a loud growl whilst pulling me behind him. River stood beside Dominik, allowing his own threatening growl out whilst simultaneously blocking my view. I pushed between the two and glared at the Beta of my so-called mate before turning to look at the two males before me, “He has a message to bring to his alpha for me. I will deal with it.” I said, allowing no room for argument. I turned around once more to face Giovanni. “Where is the warrior from my pack?” He asked boldly, refusing to look at me. “He won’t be leaving. Take it as… An eye for an eye. Again. I don’t take kindly to threats, and I will not be allowing any more attacks on my pack. Now I suggest you go before I change my mind.” I said, venom dripping from my words. His eyes darted to mine, then he left without another word. “I hope he does what you have asked Kiara. I don’t know how well we could cope with another attack.” Dominik spoke up after Giovanni had left. River looked into my eyes. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling. “Me too…” I said, not above a whisper.

Dom, River and I all went back to the lounge in the house we shared. We sat in silence. Waiting for something. Anything. But we didn’t know what. I eventually stood from the couch we were sitting on and made my way outside. I closed my eyes and took a deep inhale of the world outside, allowing all the smells, the sounds, the feeling of the breeze on my skin and the earth beneath my feet to be the only things on my mind. I tilted my head back to face the sky and opened my eyes after exhaling. It was peaceful. But I had someone to see. I began my walk to his home in the middle of the woods, wondering if he would still be willing to help me, even though it was my fault the entire pack had suffered. Yes, I managed to reverse the damage caused to my fellow members, but their homes were not so lucky. Upon reaching his door, I raised my fist to knock but it opened before I could do so. “Kiara!” He said, relief flooding his features. “Hi Isaac…” I said quietly, looking down and playing with the sleeves of my shirt. I felt him pull me in as he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I returned the hug instantly, feeling my eyes sting from the tears that wouldn’t fall.

“How are you doing, child?” He questioned as he handed me a cup of hot tea after bringing me into his lounge. “I’ve been better. I just feel lost. I don’t know what to do, Isaac.” I replied, my voice wavering as I did. He sat next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder, “I know. I know, sweet girl. And I will do what I can to help you.” “I need to expand the distance that I can mindlink others. I need to sort this out before something worse happens.” I said, feeling defeated. I sipped my drink while Isaac was pacing in and out of the room, talking but not making sense. He eventually settled down at a desk in the corner of the room. “I can lend you some of my power. You are like a daughter to me, so for you, I am more than happy to do so.” Isaac insisted after a few minutes of silence. “What? How does that work? Will it hurt you? I don’t want to do anything that will cause you to suffer!” I began blurting out, forgetting to take a breath. “Child. Relax. It will not cause me any harm.” Isaac said, with a small smile on his face. I looked at him anxiously as he sat by my side and pulled my hands to his. “Focus, let my energy connect with your own. Picture the link stretching between you and whoever it is you are trying to communicate with. Allow it to build until it is strong.” Isaac instructed me. I closed my eyes and relaxed. Allowing Isaac’s energy to merge with my own. I then pictured a bridge being built. I imagined it strengthening, closing the distance between my mind and the mind of the person I wished to reach. Once that bridge was formed, I called out, “Did you speak with him?” I was met with silence and began thinking it didn’t work.

“Kiara?” I heard just as I was about to give up. “Answer the question, Giovanni.” I said, making sure my voice was firm. “I repeated everything you said… He has since informed me that he will be personally retrieving you. Again. I don’t know when.” Came Giovanni’s reluctant reply. “If he attempts to harm my pack,” I began, but was quickly cut off, “I have made it clear that if he does that again then you will never go with him, but I can not make any promises he has listened.” “Fine.” I said and then cut the link. I took a minute to gather myself and then opened my eyes. I looked at Isaac, he seemed unfazed. “Well?” He asked, “How come you don’t seem as drained as I feel? But I managed to speak to who I needed to.” I responded, feeling a yawn slip out mid sentence. I laid back on the couch as my eyes began to close, but I forced them open and looked once more at Isaac, who was looking rather amused. “What?” I said as I stared at him. “You didn’t need my energy. That is why I am not as exhausted as you, child.” He helped me into a spare bedroom and then left.

When I awoke the next morning, the scent of freshly made pancakes and strawberries drifted into my senses. I got up from the bed I had slept in and made my way to where the smell was coming from. “Good morning Isaac.” I made myself known as I watched Isaac drift around the kitchen, preparing a fantastic looking breakfast. “Ahh, you’re awake! And right on time to!” the old man exclaimed as he set a plate of stacked pancakes covered in nutella and strawberries in front of me at the breakfast bar along with a glass of fresh orange juice. “Thank you.” I said with an ear splitting grin on my face. We sat together and chatted about everything for the entire morning until I was interrupted by Dominik’s voice in my head. “Where are you?” “With Isaac, what’s up?” I responded. “I have word that Alpha Blackstone wants into the territory…” he said hesitantly. “Is anyone with him?” I asked him quietly. “Not that we are aware of. I have the warriors on the border alert to make sure that they can’t surprise us again” I sighed and looked at Isaac as he finished off his coffee. “Okay. Tell me where and I will go to meet him. I will bring Isaac.” I told him as I stood and grabbed Isaac’s shoulder.

Just from the way I looked at him it seemed he knew what I was asking. He rarely left his home, which made me grateful he was willing to do so for me. We walked to where Dominik told me that Xander was waiting to get into the territory. I held onto Isaac's arm as we walked towards the border. I noticed Alaric standing with a group of three warriors, and he did not look pleased. Once Isaac and I reached them, I saw Xander standing, his usual pissed off expression covering his features, he looked in our direction and I shivered from the coldness of his glare. I glanced at Isaac, who had a stoic expression on his face. “What are you doing here?” I asked, looking down at the forest floor. My ears were back and my tail bushed, showing my obvious anxiety at the situation. “Why won’t you give her the space she needs?” I heard Isaac question before Xander had the chance to reply, “She has made it blatantly clear she is not ready to go anywhere with you so back off.” He continued, his glare burning into Xander. “Firstly, who the hell is this Kiara? Can’t speak to me yourself? Secondly, you don’t belong here, you should be back at home with me.” Xander said venomously.

Who the hell does he think he is? “Okay, no.” I said simply and began to walk away. I noticed the smug look on Isaac’s face as I did so. “If you ever come here and make her feel like this ever again, I will make your life hell.” I heard Isaac say before hearing Xander curse. I turned my head and watched as little sparks ran from Isaac to Xander and giggled, but this did not go unnoticed. In the blink of an eye I felt hands around and little sparks of electricity dancing across where our skin made contact. “What’s so funny little wolf?” He whispered into my ear as he held me back and restricted my attempt at getting out of his iron grip. I allowed the fire burning in me to scorch his skin but he still didn’t let me go, instead he held me tighter and groaned in pain. I growled and let that fire grow, then I managed to sink my canines into his burning flesh. He released me from his hold and let out a new strain of curses. “Don’t ever put your hands on me again.” I said, the annoyance clearly showing on my face and in my voice as I jabbed my finger in his direction.

Isaac put an arm around my shoulders as Alaric trailed Xander back across the border. “I swear if you don’t come with me right now I will burn this place to the ground!” Xander yelled. This halted me in my tracks. I turned slowly and bared my teeth. “Say it again. I dare you.” I said, my voice low and my eyes narrowed. He stood silently. Watching as I approached him, “I said, say it again.” Isaac stood a distance behind me and the warriors who were with us backed up along with Alaric. “You were made for me. Why don’t you just accept that?” Xander said. He tried to hide the pain in his voice but I could see it in his eyes. I reached my clawed hand out and dug it into his wrist. He winced slightly at the intensity which I held him, I ignored the sparks on my skin and leaned in, “If you threaten this pack or its members one more time, I will make it as though you never existed.” I whispered this, looking between his eyes. He pulled his wrist from me and I licked the blood off my hand as I watched the wound heal. “I will keep coming back. No matter how long it takes.” Xander finally said, defeated. He then turned and walked away. I was happy with this small victory, but there was a small piece of my heart that broke at the sight, but I won’t pay it any attention.

Just as he said, Xander returned to the pack border every night. Not many words were exchanged other than him trying to get me to go with him. This has been going on for a week. I finally got Dominik to agree to letting him into the territory so long as multiple warriors followed him. I asked for Sydney to be one of those warriors as at least I could have some comfort knowing one of the guards whilst I spoke with him on the territory. I met Xander at the border, ensuring Isaac and I were the first ones there, followed by Sydney. Xander showed up and watched as another two warriors approached. “Dominik has agreed to let you into the pack lands but you will do as you are told and the guards will be present at all times.” I said before he could speak. He looked surprised by this but quickly covered it up, he then nodded once to show he had acknowledged this. I grabbed Isaac’s arm and heard Xander growl as we turned to walk. “Get over yourself. He’s family.” I said as I rolled my eyes, not missing the small smile on Isaac’s aged face. We walked to an open field that was near the border and settled on the soft grass. Isaac had helped me prepare some sandwiches just as dawn broke out across the sky. I had also lifted a load of water bottles so that we all stayed hydrated.

Sydney and the other warriors sat a little bit away from us, but I had asked Isaac to stay with me as Xander really despised River and Dominik was still furious at the fact he had attacked the pack. “Why did you do it?” I asked before I nibbled on my chicken sandwich, refusing to look at him as I did so. He didn’t reply, so I glanced up at Isaac who could have been burning holes into him with the intensity of his glare. I sighed and looked at the Alpha to find he was already looking at me. His gaze was hard and he was sitting straight up. I looked at him, my expression bored. I have asked this same question every time I met at the border and every time I was answered with silence. I felt my ears go back showing my disapproval. Isaac stood from beside me, and I followed suit. We turned and began walking before I felt little sparks of pleasurable electricity shoot through my hand and up my arm. I turned to see Xander standing holding my hand to prevent me walking away, “I’m sorry…” He said quietly, looking away from my eyes as he did so.

Sydney approached us and kept his features indifferent, he looked at Xander's hand in mine and I watched his jaw twitch. “I don’t care for your apology. What’s done is done. I am just glad I was able to get back. What I want to know is why you did it!” I pleaded with him as I slowly took my hand away from his. Sydney stood tall beside me and Isaac was waiting by the treeline. Sydney was pretty intimidating to look at with his towering height of six feet three inches. His curly dark brown hair falling slightly into his chocolate eyes. I could see some scars trying to show themselves from just below the collar of his shirt, showing that he had been through many wars and fights. “I couldn’t let them keep you from me. You are my mate and yet you refuse to be near me.” Xander finally said. I could hear the pain in his voice and my heart called out to him. “They did not stop me from going with you. They had no say in what I chose. They tried convincing me to go with you but I decided to stay. Nobody was forcing me to do anything. Like you forced me to go with you after drugging me.I am not your plaything nor am I your property, so stop behaving like I am.” I stated, showing my own pain and frustration in my tone as I did. I watched Xander’s shoulders slump as he let out a heavy sigh. He then went to walk away but not before saying, “I really am sorry for hurting you. It was never my intention. But if you would rather stay here and forget I exist, then I will do my best to stay away.” Then he shifted and disappeared into the woods.

I wish I didn’t feel the things I did for him, but apparently I can't help it. All because the goddess of the moon thought it would be a good idea to throw a soulmate into my life when I really just needed space. “We have barely seen you around! What’s going on?” I heard River ask from beside me. I raised my shoulders and dropped them in response as I ate a bowl of honeycomb ice cream. “C’mon K. Something is clearly bothering you.” Dominik said from my other side. My head rolled to look at him, then rolled back to focus on my ice cream. I just want to be left alone. I need to think. Once I finished my ice cream, I stood from my bed and made my way downstairs and outside to breathe in the fresh air. Dominik and River haven’t left my side in days. Isaac had been coming around every day to ensure I was still eating and drinking. I haven’t really spoken to anyone since Xander left. Instead, this hole in my heart seemed to just grow with every passing day. I have spent most of my time curled up under my bedsheets. When I’m not there, I am running aimlessly through the forest. I feel like I am in a blizzard with no means of escaping it. I have finally made a decision, but I won’t follow through unless I have three people by my side. I wish I could have a fourth, but I can’t take him away from his duties. “I’m ready… I think…” I said quietly as I picked up the sound of River and Dominik approaching me. They looked at one another then back at me, nodding their heads once. I hope what I do now is the right thing. I also hope that they help me, even though they have no obligations to do so, because they are the strength I need right now.