I Am Worthy

Chapter 2: Heartache

Deana is my younger sister. She is quite pale when standing next to me although she has the same coloured hair, she has blue eyes and a skinny appearance and stands at 5ft6. She is only 16 years old and is preparing for school exams.

Martha, my older sister, is only 5ft2 in height, she has a small build and a fiery attitude. She is also pale, like Deana, but is a year older than me. She works in a nightclub when she isn’t out wreaking havoc with other rioters.

I feel like my older sister is drifting away from us, she is never home for meals and rarely replies to my messages. She goes out at night for hours at a time to do god knows what, but I can’t seem to get through to her. When she is home, she starts arguments with us over nothing. At the minute, Eli is my rock, even though I haven't spoken with my friends in a few months, as I just didn’t feel ready for proper social interaction after losing our parents. My younger sister has been going out with her friends again, which I’m glad of. She seemed to be doing better. “Deana, have you seen Martha?” I asked my younger sister when I heard her enter the kitchen, “I heard her leave at about 4 this morning, I don’t think she is back yet.” she replied. I had that horrible gut feeling again. “Just relax, go find Martha and make sure you have Deana in your sight at all times.” said the little voice in my head.

I have managed to get Deana to stay at home with me today. Eli has gone to work to try and make some money so that we don’t lose the house. I am on sick leave from my job, so I still get paid, albeit not as much as I would if I was at work. Deana is picking out a movie for us to watch whilst I am in the kitchen making popcorn. I came back into the living room and can see Encanto on the TV screen. I grabbed a large fleece blanket and threw it over us on the large sofa so that we were comfortable.

It's now 5pm and after a few movies I began to worry further about Martha. She still isn’t home, which isn’t anything new, but I still have that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I heard the front door open and close, then saw Martha run upstairs, to which I am automatically on my feet and following her. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried about you!” I said as I entered her room. “I was out, I just had to come back and grab something.” was her response. “We are having a movie night, will you join us?” I said, keeping my voice steady so as not to show my annoyance, but she won’t say anything, she just keeps looking for whatever it is she came home for. “Why are you icing us out?” I am struggling to keep my emotions in check now, and her ignorance is only making it more difficult. “Just leave me alone, I don’t need you nagging in my ear for god sake!” she half yelled, so I did just that. I grab my sneakers and leave the house, walking briskly to the forest so I can sit and cry with no one watching and judging.

It’s 7.30pm now, the only sounds in the forest are those of the little critters and rodents running around. I find it peaceful, relaxing, it is my place to go when things become too much for me. “I think it’s time to go back.” said the little voice in my head, which I agreed with. After my brief walk back to the house, I could see cop cars in the driveway. I picked up my pace and walked into the house, “What’s going on?” I said when I saw my little sister, she had tears in her eyes as she looked at me and that awful knot in my stomach tightened. “Hello Kiara.” said the detective who dealt with us after our parents' death. I stared at him trying to stay calm, “I am sorry to have to say this but there was another riot on the other side of town and your sister, Martha, was involved. Unfortunately, she was stabbed by one of the rioters after getting in his way and the damage was severe. She was rushed to hospital but didn’t make it.” he spoke, but his voice became distant to me, the only sound in my ears was my heartbeat, yet again. “No,no,no,no,no… Please, not again…” I said, my voice breaking and not above a whisper. “I am sorry for your loss.” came Lowders voice. I could feel my arms around my waist and my hoodie was wet. When I looked down, I saw Deana. I held her close, not wanting her to have to feel this pain. We both fell to the floor and the tears kept falling.

It’s been a week since we buried another family member. Eli has been distant and won’t tell me what is on his mind. He has no family, he was raised in an orphanage, so my family was the closest he had. He has been working more frequently, leaving me and Deana to grieve with one another. I hear the letterbox close so I go to check. It’s addressed to the owners of the house which is currently us, so I opened it. And the bad news just keeps coming. We have missed 2 months of paying the mortgage and if we don’t pay by the end of the week then we will be kicked out and the house will be repossessed. I have decided to show Eli the letter when he gets home and leave my baby sister out of it as I don’t want to worry her. By the time Eli gets home, I am trying not to fall asleep. I show him the letter and he sighs, “s**t. Don’t worry, I am sorting it out.” he said. “What do you mean? We only have enough to pay the mortgage this month, we can't afford to put food on the table when it is paid!” I whispered with a hint of irritation seeping through my voice. “I said I’m sorting it!” He said in a raised voice. I scoffed at this and then proceeded to bed. I don’t like it when we argue, but I feel like there is so much stress around us all now and I just need a break.

Eli decided it might be best for him to return to our own house for a while, as the stress was clearly becoming too much for us. He decided that he would spend the week there. I kept telling him he didn’t have to leave and that we just didn’t know how to express what we are feeling in a healthy way, but he said we needed to be apart for a short time, to try and get our heads on straight. I eventually let him go but it hurts. It’s been 3 days now. He messages me as often as he can, but it’s difficult with how much he is working to bring in more money. By the time I had finished tidying up my parents' house and ate dinner with Deana, it was about 11.45pm. I heard the door go and thought that maybe Eli wanted to come back, but then I heard a muffled scream from the next room. I ran from my bedroom to Deana’s to find 2 burly looking men there. One was over Deana, with his hands around her throat whilst the other watched on with a sick amusement in his eyes. I didn’t have time to think, so I acted on impulse. I ran to the man closest to me and jumped onto him. I then managed to wrap my legs around his neck and squeeze. I watched as he struggled, hitting my legs and trying to pull me off, so I tightened my legs around his neck, watching the life leave his eyes. The other guy heard the struggle and pulled out a pistol with a silencer on it, he then put a pillow over Deana’s head, aimed, then pulled the trigger. He then stood and charged at me and the other guy. I managed to get off fast enough and grabbed my phone as I ran into my room and locked the door.

I called the police and then Eli and told them what was happening. I then opened my window and climbed out. There is a thick Ivy plant that climbs the wall beside my window so I used that to climb down. I crept around to the front of the house and began running. I can hear the men leaving my house in a hurry, but I am too scared to stop running. I then noticed mine and Eli’s car approaching and he must have seen me as he pulled over and ran to me on the street, “I’m so sorry Kiara!” he cried out, “I thought they would give me more time!” He had tears in his eyes as he said this, “What is happening? Eli, what have you been doing?!” I almost yelled as my own tears fell. He then told me how he had been getting loans from one of the gangs in the area and that he didn't have the money to pay them back and this was a result of that. Just as he finished, the burly men saw us. The one who took my sister’s life aimed his pistol at us and pulled the trigger, then they both left as the sound of police cars approached. I then turned around to look at Eli, thinking that the guy missed his target, but as I did so, Eli dropped to the ground. There was a red substance soaking his white t-shirt and his breathing was shallow and uneven, “Eli, baby, talk to me, please I can’t lose you too!” I yelled, drawing the attention of the cops that were now at my house. But he just looked at me, his breathing had stopped and his eyes were void of everything. My heart is hurting so badly, my head hurts, my gums hurt and my tailbone hurts, but the worst pain is definitely the one in my heart. I feel empty. I can’t do anything but scream whilst holding the love of my life in my arms, his lifeless body slowly turning cold.