Ashes to Dawn

Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

GRACE'S POV

April 12, 2023.

6:30 am.

The alarm rang at 6am as usual, but I didn't move for the next 30 minutes.

For a moment, I just wanted to lay down and forget about everything worrying me. It's like my head refused to cooperate with me and everything I wanted.

The pain had already woken me again before dawn, sharper than it had been the day before. It stood low in my abdomen, steady yet heavy, like something was pressing the inside of me. I wondered if pregnancy felt that way too. I laid still, breathing slowly, waiting for the wave pain to pass.

Beside me, Michael was already awake.

He sat at the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone, his back turned toward me.

“You’re up late,” he said without looking. Little did he know that I'd been awake way before the alarm rang. Little did he know that I had to stay still as if the pain would disappear if I did so.

“I didn’t sleep well.” I replied, pulling myself to a sitting position. I was ready to get out of the bed.

“You never sleep well anymore,” he said as if reminding me that it was the new me.

There was no concern in his voice, only what sounded like a mild irritation, as if my insomnia were an inconvenience to him. It's not like I bothered him when I was awake and he was sleeping.

He stood and walked into the bathroom, eyes never leaving his phone.

A few minutes later, his voice travelled through the room, a certain tone to it.

“There’s no breakfast?” He asked. He sounded like he was just asking for the sake of asking.

I closed my eyes briefly, breathing in and out. I needed the strength.

“I’ll make something,” I said, getting out of the bed. My feet met my slippers and I put them on before standing.

By the time I reached the kitchen, the dizziness had settled into the familiar feeling. I moved slowly, making toast and coffee while the ache in my stomach made its presence known quietly beneath the surface. If it could growl, it definitely would.

Michael walked in, he was already dressed. However he managed to get dressed so quickly, I had no idea.

Back when things were still rosy, he'd tease me about how I liked to take my time when I was dressing up and he could use 3 minutes to dress up. I'd tell him it was a female thing and I couldn't help it.

That was then. Now, I barely put effort into doing too much for myself. Just basic makeup and nothing much.

“I’m running late already,” he said, grabbing his keys. “Don’t worry about it anymore.”

He left before the coffee finished brewing.

I stood there, staring at the coffee machine like it was a big problem.

The house felt colder after he left.

For a moment, I leaned against the counter, both hands pressed lightly against the edge as another wave of pain passed through me. It was getting worse, more frequent, and harder to ignore.

The doctor’s words came back to me immediately. The cancer has progressed and I had limited time. I needed to extend my time on this earth before it eventually caught up with me.

I still hadn't told Michael about it.

Every time I thought about it, the moment never felt right. He was always distracted. Always irritated. Always somewhere else, even when he was physically in the room. I had no idea where his mind went to.

But then, I was beginning to wonder if there was more to everything. The distance, the secrets, the strange perfume. Even Susan’s message on his phone bothered me terribly.

If she'd seen him somewhere, she would've mentioned it to me.

I pushed the thoughts away and got ready for work. At least, something would clear my head a bit.

The drive there felt longer than usual. It was like everyone was driving slowly and annoyingly. Every bump in the road sent a dull ache through my abdomen. By the time I reached the office, tiredness had already settled deep into my bones.

Still, work helped and routine helped.

At my desk, I focused on emails, spreadsheets, and schedules. Numbers stayed predictable even when everything else didn’t. If I couldn't fix something in my life, I could fix the tasks given to me at work.

How I went through the entire day, I had no idea. It felt like time had decided it wasn't waiting for me at all. One minute, I just started working, the next, I was packing up to leave.

Most times, I wished I had someplace I could always go to bed able to relax without a care in the world, but I'd never made the conscious effort to find one. I was either too tired, or too tired.

I drove home already dreading the tension that would envelope me when Michael came home.

The first thing I noticed was Michael's car. He was home early. That meant I could finally tell him about the cancer. This time, it could actually work out.

I unlocked the door quietly and stepped inside, cautiously.

The living room lights were on and the house was silent. I placed my bag on the table in the living room and took off my shoes, holding them.

Then, from down the hallway, I heard something. A woman’s voice, she was laughing. Alongside the voice, I heard Michael's too. They were both laughing at something.

But the female voice sounded familiar, soft too.

I first heard my heart c***k, my hand flew to my stomach. My heart began to pound really fast. I hoped he was watching a movie or something.

Slowly, and carefully, I moved toward the bedroom. I placed my shoes carefully on the floor in the hallway.

The door was slightly open, so I pushed it open.

My world began to crumble at the sight.