Quantum Leap Vol. 7 Fausto japan KabushikiGaisha

C008 Stick A Stick Up His Ass, What Else ?!?!?

I saw the arrow in my mind as a white flash and in order not to allow the arrow to hit my mount; I swooped forward, held the horse’s neck and swiped at the incoming with my Odachi, the arrow narrowly missing the heart of my mount and me.

To load a crossbow, one need to set it vertically on the ground and pulled the drawstring and secured it at the release mechanism of the trigger. I meandered and picked a rock and with a burst of energy; I let it fly towards his head when he looked down to pull the drawstring.

“Tooooiinnnggg.....!” the rock was injected with a bit of Kamehameha energy and it struck the man squarely in the head and he fell backwards, unconscious with an enlarge hematoma on it.

I kicked his crossbow down the ridge and saw that he was a lone ranger? Hahaha... Hi Ho Silver, away! If he’s a line ranger, then where’s Tanto? He’s not that Lone Ranger but a ranger who is alone and lonely that he feels that he is so unwanted in this world that he tries to kill people with a convoy full of goods!

I drew his Odachi and threw down the ridge. He was wearing a leather studded Punk Band of the 70s kind of outerwear and unprotected hakama. One look I thought he was an extra from the Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves kind of bandit.

By this time Miroku and Kami had dismounted and saw me stripping the guy off for any information and hidden cold weapons. They both saw what I did when I took my Odachi and swiped the 2nd incoming arrow and merely using a rock to take the guy out.

“This guy is clean. Let’s tie him up and let him rot in this place. He’s alone, and I don’t think he has a ride with him nearby. Might as well we tie him up for the vultures. As I would like to say, ‘Take no prisoners’. He would be another burden for the city to house and feed him in jail for attempted assassination, or maybe he takes us as his moving target practice.

I poked at the hematoma with the hilt of my odachi that was slowly enlarging in his head. “If you can escape from this rope that I just hogtied you, tell your friends where you come from and say that ‘if you mess with the best, you die like the rest’!”

Next, I did the most unimaginable thing an 11-year-old kid shouldn’t do; I stick up his ass with a stick since he had his big ass white butt cheeks for the vultures to Peck later on.

Seeing me do something like that to the poor lone ranger, Miroku and Kami felt sorry for him and laughed their heads off as it echoed all over the ridge. We laughed all the way down the ridge as we took hold of the horses’ reins.

The men were at first shocked when I shouted the first warning and took action when the second warning rang out and peeked underneath the wagons as they saw me riding up the bridge with the horse and doing some kind of somersault and walking up ahead.

The next thing they knew, the seniors and their young master were laughing so badly that it could cause corpses to turn in their graves!

Hiko-sama asked what happened and Miroku just jumped to the part that I had hogtied a lone ranger and stripped him half-naked. After that, he said I took a stick and poke up the poor guy’s asshole. Haha hahaha.

The moment Hiko-sama heard it, he laughed out loud too and suddenly the tense in the air that was thick that we could slice it with a butter knife, and loosened up. The ones in the wagon ahead ad behind Hiko-sama heard what happened, and they laughed along too.

Kami remarked at what I had said earlier, “Mess With The Best, Die Like The Rest.” and thought it was so catchy that it will bring fear to the hearts of enemies. And with that long sentenced motto, it would be best etched on a 5-foot Katana. The moment the enemies got to read to the motto, it is already too late for them. Zzzuuuppp... Off with their heads!

He laughed to himself and Miroku asked what he was laughing about and asked to share. And when he heard what Kami said, he too broke into laughter. When it was shared among the men, they laughed again and continue to ride towards Shibata.

The horse I was riding turns its head behind and spoke, “Thanks bro, if you never block that arrow, I’d be horse meat set on the plate already...phew! I owe you my life, broooo...!”

I looked at the horse and said, “Since when can horses speak, eh? You better zip your mouth or you are going to be sold to the zoo!”

Upon reaching Shibata, we performed our tasks as usual, first with the cosmetic ladies, then the live demonstration of the STM. After that, we get the sales lady to take the orders from the onlookers who happen to consist of the shipmates, captains, soldiers, musketeers, and people from all walks of life.

Hiko-sama says besides the sales lady and helped her to take the orders as the residents broke into two lines to register their names.

Miroku called a messenger to summon the Blacksmith in the alliance to inform the plates are here. Soon the blacksmiths came and got their stock and looking at the queue, they asked me what they are doing. I said they are here to pledge a sum of money for our worthy cause, and I pointed to the STM and said that the bingo machine.

Then blacksmiths collected the plates and paid up. Soon I had nowhere to hold the cash and just dumped it with the managers. I told Hiko-sama to leave the girl alone, and he tore the middle part of the sketchpad where the residents were writing their names and he went over to me and I told him that he needs to deposit the cash of 114,000 and keep the 500 for float cash.

Another cash float that totals to around 1,400 gold coins. Not bad kid, not bad...

He quickly counted the bundles and asked Kami along to deposit the cash to the Treasury. They carried the money and Kami said, “Mess with the best, die like the rest” and they all laughed at him for he seldom shows his humorous side.

We asked the rest of the convoy to be escorted back, in fear of their safety when we returned to Kitakata and said he doesn’t then to end up like the lone ranger just now.

They asked what happen and Miroku told the story of how they rode to see their young master and by that time; I had already hogtied the ranger and stripped him down. He told them that I had picked a stick and stick it to the guy’s ass. He said my actions are more Brutal than a Hitokiri.

The moment the guys heard about me sticking a stick up that guy’s asshole, they can’t help laughing that I could turn a life-threatening situation to be a big joke to the ranger.

After the Hiko-sama had settled the amount with Kami at the treasury we headed back to Kitakata and were wary on the way back. If let’s say we were to be robbed, which was the most unlikely event, all we had was a piece of paper and 500 fold coins.

We returned safely and the event that happened earlier spread like wildfire, first among the workers and then to the outermost District. However, the district after that and the innermost residential district don’t know about it. Somehow I cannot dismiss the event. Was it coincidental or intentional and I saw that the arrow was aimed at me?

Where’s Max? I thought he was supposed to appear in a life-threatening situation like this? Or Mr Director thought that it was not life-threatening at all... Hmmm.

The guard came and passed me a note from Yonezawa and it read STM Yonezawa 321. Oamagai...! We’d better get the warehouses up and running with the assembly line and get the 1st shift to be notified of their commencement date.

We had so many orders to fulfil, but the STM is still in midair and yet to be mass-produced. But at this rate, I won’t be able to complain because logistics and safety are yet to be tightened and I should compromise nothing when lives are at stake here.

Cargo can be replaced, but human lives cannot!

We have to wreck our brains to outsmart these villains. I waited till Hiko-sama had returned from the Treasury and remembered a decoy in sea battles using sail ships of the yesteryear. If Captain Blackbeard could fool the trading ships, we could also follow his example and fool the villains.

When Hiko-sama returned with the ambassadors, I discussed with them my ideas.

“Seniors, I want to share something. What happens en route to Shibata is no laughing matter. Luckily I can sense an arrow coming at me and I could avoid it. Now I wanted to ask you these. When you all were in an expedition, you met with bandits and other enemies right?”

“Yes, we do frequently. Why do you ask? Were you intending to take an act of revenge or annihilating them to make the journey safer?”

“Not really, seniors. We don’t even know them how are we going to revenge on them? We were not hurt and at most, the one who gets hurt most would be the ranger, as the more he struggled, the more the stick is going to poke through his ass!”

The men laughed at what I had done earlier to the poor lone ranger because I positioned the stick right at where his legs were and the more he struggles, the more pain he would feel.

“I mean is, we would put on a disguise the moment we leave this village and remove the disguise before entering the next town. Have you seen any flags these bandits carry or the type of masks they put on? It’s like the time you were carrying the black flag with a big red X in the centre.”

“Oh, that flag, I remember. The flag we carry is an international sign for those in expedition or scout. It doesn’t represent anything.”

I drew a skull and two crossed bones in it and asked if anyone sports this type of flag before? They looked at it and said they hadn’t seen it before. Then how about masks like these?.."

I drew a mask with horns like a ram and a mask that looked like a geisha.

“We haven’t seen such a hideous mask before. And this mask it looked like a youkai to me.”

I looked at the geisha-like mask I had drawn with a very tiny mouth and eyes, and I wondered how the men gonna look through it with tiny dots for eye holes.

“We have to put in an act from now on. We make the flags and fly it in too of the wagon. Then if anything happens like this again, we acted like we are from another bandit group and called out how dare they shoot at their fellow bandits. And curse their mothers and fathers and so on.”

“If they happen to look over and saw our flags we call out to them to come over, so we gonna flogged their butts and when they are near, we jumped on them and carry off to the next town to be trialled and sentenced.”

“Tell me if you have another idea because sometimes my idea sucks. Don’t tell me we are going to ride on a fully armoured wagon or carriage?”