Gudarro at least pretended to believe the reasons I gave him for looking tearful and wild-eyed when I arrived home. He, too, was aware of a gap widening between us and like me, he did not tackle the subject head-on. Bliss was sweetly concerned about my unhappiness, and I watched her carefully whilst I reassured her I was alright. She was only eight years younger than Lady Millabess had been at the time of her slaughter.
I knew I had to stop thinking this way. I had to try to push away the images that kept invading my mind and focus on raising Bliss and behaving in a manner that was unlikely to provoke my husband.
When we sat down to eat that night, I realised I must also focus on keeping my anorexia at bay. The delicious-smelling meal in front of me suddenly looked like a dangerous mount
