RAFAEL
It still echoes in my mind—the night everything changed. The house was filled with guests and blazing lights. The atmosphere was pleasant except for her heart-wrenching gaze. I never imagined my world would turn out like this. I should have remembered these two important events: our anniversary and Mariel's birthday. But my mind was elsewhere, with another person, with another future forming far from that house I once called home.
I forgot that day just as I had forgotten many other things which Mariel had taken for granted. I forgot everything because I spent the day with Lina. Lina has been my best friend since childhood and now the most important thing to me. Beyond that, she was carrying my child. I remember touching her belly with mixed feelings of awe and fear. Lina was four months pregnant, and we kept it secret. A secret that grew day by day, as real as the love that had blossomed between us.
I still feel uneasy when I remember how it all began. That night, after a long work meeting, we went for drinks, and I ended up in her bed. The guilt of betraying Mariel was overwhelming. I felt like a monster, unable to fathom how I could hurt her like that. I was mistaken to have slept with another woman besides my wife. But I cooked up lies to Mariel for my inability to return home that day. I beat myself for my stupidity; however, I didn’t realize it could re-occur.
Every day with Lina was a mix of passion and guilt. At first, I resisted her advances, but then, during a work trip, I gave in again. And so, what started as a mistake turned into a blossoming relationship. For two years, I was Lina's lover. While at home, I maintained the facade of a happy marriage. And it was a happy marriage except that Mariel was the only one happy. She was oblivious to my affair with Lina, who was also my employee at the office. Mariel’s inactivity at the company made it easy for Lina and me to develop an unbreakable bond.
Our relationship progressed rapidly, unsuspecting of Mariel. My feelings for Lina grew, gradually eclipsing my love for Mariel. And then came the pregnancy, forcing me to face the reality of my decisions. We decided to keep it. I don't know how it happened because, at first, I used protection, and then she used contraceptives. I guess these things happen. I knew a time would come for me to choose, and when that time came, I chose Lina and our child; a future that, however uncertain, felt true. I wanted to be with her. Lina, on the other hand, was tired of being the other woman, especially now being with child.
So, here I was, my life packed in a suitcase, crossing the threshold of the house I shared with Mariel. Her face, contorted with pain and betrayal, would haunt me forever. The words we exchanged, the tears, the screams, all seemed like a nightmare we both wished to wake up from. But it was no dream. It was the harsh reality. A reality where I had chosen to break the heart of the woman I once swore to love and protect.
As I walked towards the door, I felt the weight of each step. It felt like I was not just walking away from Mariel but also from the person I once was by her side. I stopped for a moment and looked back. Mariel was still on the floor, her figure huddled in a solitary embrace. I wanted to offer some words of comfort or explanation, but I knew there was nothing I could say to ease the pain I had caused. It was never my intention for things to turn out this way. I never wanted to hurt her. She was a good woman and I loved her for a long time.
With a heave of my chest and an air explosion through my nostrils, I closed the door behind me as I waved goodbye to the life I shared with Mariel and the memories we created.
***
When I crossed the threshold of Lina’s apartment, I felt like I was entering a parallel universe. Here, everything was hope and future. In Mariel's house, there were only remnants of a broken past.
Lina greeted me with an effusiveness that contrasted painfully with the desolation I had just left behind. Her embrace was warm, her words full of love and excitement for our future. However, my mind still wandered, trapped in the image of Mariel crumbling before my eyes. How could I have hurt her like that? It was too late for regrets, but it hurt to destroy someone who only gave me happiness until I decided otherwise.
"You're home, darling," she said, hugging me and kissing my lips, a little surprised to see my suitcase with me so soon.
"I'm home."
Lina, oblivious to the storm inside me, talked excitedly about our future. I didn't want to give her many details about what happened tonight. I just wanted her to be happy that things had gone well.
"Now that you're free, we can start planning our wedding," she said, smiling radiantly. "Once you get divorced, it's the first thing we'll do. I want our son to be born into wedlock. It will be perfect, Rafael. You, me, and our baby…a family."
I sat down, trying to process her words, to connect with the joy she was feeling. But every mention of a wedding plan brought me back to Mariel, to our uncelebrated anniversary, to her shattered birthday. Another wedding wasn't in my plans right now. We hadn't talked about that. And if our baby was born out of wedlock, it didn't matter either.
"Lina, I need time," I finally said, my voice barely a whisper. "All of this…the divorce, the wedding…it's a lot to take in."
Lina stopped, her expression changing from happiness to concern. "But Rafael, we've waited so long. Our baby…we deserve to be a real family."
Her hand caressed her belly, a gesture that always filled me with a mixture of fear and wonder.
"Don't you want to marry me? Is that it?"
"I know that's what we want," I replied, trying to find the right words. "But I just left a nine-year marriage. I need to process it and close the chapter before starting a new one. Another wedding is not something we're going to do as quickly as you think. It doesn't matter if your belly grows, or you don't have a ring on your finger. The most important thing here is that we love each other. It would also look awkward when people find out so soon that we’re together."
Lina came closer, her gaze searching mine. "I understand. I know you're afraid of her. You were unhappy with her, but I also need to know you're with me in this, Rafael. Not just physically, but with all your being. Our son and this family matter now. I can't pay for Mariel's mistakes. And now that I have you, I need you completely for myself, which includes a wedding, Rafael."
I nodded, knowing she was right, but I was still battling the weight of my past.
"I know, Lina. I'm with you. But I also have to do things right. Both the divorce and the transition won't be easy for any of us."
She didn't seem to agree with what I was saying. "Yes, let's change the subject a bit. Let's talk about the divorce, then we'll discuss our wedding. The important thing here is to know what to do with your divorce."
Lina went to the bedroom and returned with a folder full of documents which she heaped on my lap, one after the other.
"What is all this?"
They were my company documents.
Just as the time for me to face Mariel with the truth came, it was also time to deal with the question of ownership of the company in the divorce process. We didn't want Mariel to leave me with nothing in the divorce.
"There's not a single document with her name on it, not a single thing that shows that she gave you the money to start. There's nothing that she can claim belongs to her. I want to take care of you, Rafael, and what's rightfully yours. With this divorce, we can't let her keep half of everything you own."
"Lina, with the divorce, she'll get half of everything."
"We can make sure she doesn't."
"But do you realize what you're proposing? She gave me the money."
"The idea, the effort, the years of work; whose were they? Yours or hers? You're the one who made this possible. That's why we can't let her touch what's yours."
"She gave me all her money for this."
"She gave it to you. There was no loan, nothing that expressed a condition or commitment to that."
"Even so, I'm her husband; she's my wife. Half of hers is mine, half of mine is hers."
"I'm analyzing the situation and looking for a way so she doesn't leave you with nothing."
"It sounds like we're the ones who want to leave her with nothing! Lina, this is a dangerous game."
"You know what's dangerous? She might seek revenge for your infidelity, thus leaving you just as she met you—with nothing. Would you find that amusing? If your conscience is bothering you so much, then you can give her half the money she gave you since half of hers is yours too, right?"
"Oh, God!" I stood up, horrified by all this. I hadn't thought about what a divorce could bring. But come to think of it, Mariel had been inactive at my company. You could even count the times she had been there. She lived in another world, parallel to this one, completely oblivious to my business. Nevertheless, her financial input was involved.
"I don't know if I can do such a thing."
"You won't leave her with nothing. You'll give her half of the capital she gave you to float your business idea."
"That amount is now irrelevant compared to nine years ago, Lina. Besides, the company has increased its revenue massively over the years.”
"Do you want me to help you or not?! Do you want me to sit here and watch her take everything from you? Look out for your future and that of our son! If that's not important to you, at least it is to me, Rafael. I love you, and I'm doing this for both of us and the future of this family. We can do this, and it will be fine. Just assume you're charging something for being by her side for those nine years. You'll give her half of what she gave you, and that's a lot. You've made that money grow. What has she done but spend her afternoons at the spa, waste time on her ridiculous paintings, and travel? Keep that in mind. If you don't destroy her, she will. That's all I have to say."
Lina swooped the documents back into her hands and returned to the bedroom with them while I sat there weighing the possibility of Mariel leaving me with nothing. Things were spinning in my head already. Did I have to act before she did? Maybe that was the best way out.