"Are you okay?",mom asked.
Yes, but why are you all here? I asked back
We are here because this is my room.mom replied
Oh! I didn't know. And why am I here? Who brought me here.
W-we did, since Sarah and Vera wanted to clean your room.
Anyway,d don' mind. Just get back to your senses first,mom teased me.
They all laughed.
Someone called us for supper. We all left the room for the dining room. I liked eating with my best friends on the same table though dad and my brother never liked it.
They believed that princesses never eat with the maids but they didn't know that the bond between me and my friends was strong. It never differentiated. They were like sisters to me.
That night mom stopped me from eating with my friends at their table. She knew that I would ask them where they had gone with her earlier. And she was sure that they wouldn't deny me the answer so she had to deal with me not to come any closer to them.
After the meal,mom asked them to go to sleep and she went with me to my room as she thought I would follow them or call them to ask.
I entered the room and she told me to close the door because she didn't want to enter. She kept outside my room for some time and then left as she realized that I had no intention of asking them.
In the morning, I decided to meet dad and talk about the proposal because last time I didn't tell him my mind about it.
He was in his reading room,he called me in and asked what the matter was. I told him I had no problem with the proposal of his choice.
He was so happy to hear that from me.
He told me he had to meet with the groomsg family and fix the date for engagement. And so he left.
After a while, I saw mom coming towards me, she was angry on the face but why was she so? What has happened to her,I asked myself.
What have you done? What's all this? And why are you doing this? She asked
Mom calm down please, I said
Why should I? It was you who told me you are not ready for marriage. You asked me to fake sickness so that your dad doesn't meet with the groom's family to fix the date but now you have sent him there yourself.
I was angry with her for telling the priest to pray for my dream but she didn't know that i knew all about her visit to the priest with Carina and my friends.
I kept counseling myself not to express my anger to her through my words. I didn't want to create suspicion.
I lied to mom that I changed my mind and I wanted to marry since all daughters are destined to leave their parent's house for their in-law's home.
Mom couldn't believe my words at first but she later did after the tailor had taken my measurements for the engagement gown. With that, she too fell into my trap so no one would suspect me and let my plans down.
That day dad came back home early. He told us he has met with the groom's family and the wedding and engagement dates have been fixed.
I felt happy. Why was I feeling happy when I never wished to marry a prince who would treat me like a property not as a human being.
It was a habit of all princes to have mistresses. It was normal to them and so marriage meant nothing to them. They never valued relationships. One would marry just to prove a point to his family..
I grew up witnessing the life that dad,th t king lived. He treated my mother not like a human being. I never liked his ways. I believed all princes and kings were like him.
Yes,he was my dad but he was indeed bad towards his own wife. He had mistresses who would give him company whenever my mother felt sick or something.
My mom never complained but I could notice that she was always hurt by my dad's deeds. No woman doesn't feel hurt whenever she sees her husband with someone else.
I promised myself that I will never marry a prince. And why was I happy yet my marriage has been fixed with the prince?
Maybe I was happy i was going to leave this palace for a new environment. I imagined escaping from the prince after we have moved out of the palace. That was a risky idea,i had to find an easy way out of this. So I looked for plan B.
The night before my engagement was the best night and the luckiest night of my life. That night Dad made a mistake,that too saved me from marrying the prince.
It was his mistake that showed me the way to my dreams. It called for plan B. That was perfect.
Dad came and told me he wanted to spend time with me. That he wanted to share with me important things that he had hidden from me for the past nineteen years.
He was so happy since I have agreed to marry the man of his choice.
We went to the garden and sat on the swing. He told me some stories about his life, how he met my mom. He told me about his father and grandma.
He didn't know that I had heard some information about his past, how he killed his brothers for the throne.
He only shared with me the positive and good stories about him.
He was not innocent I knew. He was definitely a bad person though he was my dad. I never liked him at all since the day I learnt that he wanted mom to terminate the pregnancy.
I believed he considered me dead,of course he did as he never cared about my well being.
Maybe he was doing all that for a certain reason? As I kept thinking, things made some sense. Finally I got to know why dad never loved me. He was doing his best to stop his father's predictions from hallehapp.
Yes,that th why he never sent me to study from abroad. Since he was happy with me at the moment, I used that chance to ask him my questions.
He was done with his stories so it was my turn but instead of telling him stories,i just put him on an interview. It was the right time for me to get answers to all my questions.
Why didn't you send me to study outside the palace dad? Don't you like me? Why don't you care about me at all? Why do you hate me so much? I asked
He told me that the reason why he disliked me was that the priest told him I would bring misfortune to the family,he was lying. The priest wasn't the one who told him so, it was his dad, my grandpa.
Why was dad protecting his dad? Was he ashamed of his father being a foreteller? I didn't mind because I already knew the truth.
Lying didn't suit his age but he was trying to.
What kind of misfortune, I asked breaking the silence.
The priest told me that you won't be the obedient type of girl once you are born and so I had to stop you from being born. I asked your mother to abort the pregnancy but she insisted on keeping you.
I didn't like her decision. I kept asking the Almighty to take you back to heaven before you are born but He didn't listen.
The day that you were born, my mom died and that proved that indeed you were to bring more misfortunes to this family.
I sent two guards to pick you from where you and your mom were,I wanted to have you killed or thrown out of our lives for good but that didn't happen. They came to me and told me that the room from where you were was full of people so they lacked the opportunity to go inside and get to you.
I tried many times but I failed.
I stopped trying the day your mother brought those two maids of yours; Linie and Bella to look after you.
They never left you alone even for a second. One could go and leave the other behind with you. They made it difficult and impossible for my guards to reach to you and so I had to give up.
"That means Linie and Bella played a big role towards my safety", I thought.
But I didn't just give up,dad continued. I tried my plan B, which was to never let you move out of the palace and get exposed to the world and then become disobedient.
That plan included not to send you to school and become brilliant and intelligent to go against me.
I didn't want you to meet with many people and get some connections which would ruin you and you turn against me.
I did all that was possible and tried to make the impossible possible but just to prevent you from going against me.