Pinky Promise

Chapter 3 The Break Up

Lillith's POV

I watch Garrett leave my place taking the comfortably of the moment with him. I just always feel so safe and comfortable with Garbear, no matter where we are or what we are doing. I have been feeling this way since the day I met him really.

For some reason I have a really nervous feeling in my stomach about going to go have a talk with Jaxon and I don't know why.. I think he doesn't want to be with me anymore, because he has been so distant to me lately. Even when we are together I still feel farther away from him as if I'm alone on an island. I can't take the silence I would just rather be alone at this point, if this is how it's going to be.

I like Jaxon but he is the type of guy that doesn't like to commit to anything, but if he ever does it's after taking way to long to commit. It's been two years with him and he is just barely talking about moving in with me and I don't even think he really meant it when he mentioned it before. It was the way he said it to me, it sounded almost forced like I was the one making him say it.. and if there is one thing that I have learned over time, it's that if you have to force something to happen it's probably not going to work out. But I have to see what this is about, so I can get rid of this egging, nagging feeling deep inside of me.

I'm ready to leave now, so I'll walk over there and about the time I get there, should be when he is getting home from work. It should work out perfect timing from when he said he should be home. I grab my bag throwing it on, then putting my ear buds into my ears as I put my phone into my bag.

I'm listening to music this whole walk, with the beat keeping me moving forward, letting the calming tones take my anxiousness away, even if it's just for a moment. After a little bit of a trekk, I'm getting closer to his place and I can see that I was right. Like I said, it's going to be perfect timing, because his car is parked out front of his place right now. He must have just got home.

I for some reason start to move a little slower towards his place. My feet feel heavier than ever as the anxious gut feeling hits me like a brick wall, way stronger than before. I get closer and closer to his place, despite my body fighting it.

Getting close enough now to see his apartment door on the bottom floor of his apartment building. I keep walking until I'm right in front of his door. I lift my hand to knock and for some reason I can't do it. I'm actually scared to talk with him right now.

I will never know what's going to happen with us and where we will go from here, if I don't knock on that door, right now.. I'm just probably getting nervous over nothing.. I let out a nervous breath nodding to myself, just trying to convince myself to do this.. as I lift my hand once more to knock, but it opens before I even make contact with it.

My mouth drops open, and my chest starts to hurt with the feeling of my heart breaking at the sight before me.. It's Jaxon kissing another girl that's obviously not me. He says, "I'll call you later baby." to her looking up and seeing it's me standing in front of them, in the doorway.

The girl looks mortified by the sight of me.. She knows who I am, I can tell by the look in her eyes. She leaves quickly, pushing past me and out of there faster than a bat out of hell. It's like how animals get nervous and hide right before a big storm hits.. I think his other lady knew what was about to happen, so she decided to run and hide.. which was probably a smart decision for herself.

"Oh hey cupcake.. You're earlier than I expected.. Um.. It's not what you think it is.. I swear." Jaxon tries to explain the caught cheating situation to me, with his hands up in surrender.

I push past him, almost shoulder checking into him to get into his place, to gather my things that I have left here.. before I leave forever.

"I knew you couldn't REALLY stay mad at me." Jaxon says following me through his apartment. I scoff at him as I flip him off. I don't know why he thinks I'm not mad, especially after that shoulder check. What about a shoulder check and the glaring look on my face says no I'm not mad at all? He is stupid to think I'm not mad.

"Oh no Jaxon I'm not ok with any of this. I think it's pretty plain and simple that we are over now. We are not meant to be at all I guess, and I wish you would have just told me instead of me figuring it out like this.. But I'm just going to wash my hands of this horrible waste of two years and never see you again. I'm just grabbing my things and if you come near me again I will punch you in the dick." I say so spitefully to him as I grab one of my shirts and a pair of pants here and there.

He grabs a pink Lacey thong and holding it up with his finger towards me. "Here cupcake you'll probably want this back then." I humm in response crossing my arms over my chest as I glare at him retorting, "I probably would want that back if it was mine.. but it's not mine."

I lock my jaw because I'm about ready to explode right now.. I don't know how I am even keeping my cool for this long. I'm so suprised by my endurance of this pain that keeps stabbing my heart over and over again. Making me want to break down crying right here right now but I can't.. I won't let him see how he has hurt me, because I bet he would like that idea. I'm not going to let him win this.. I'm going to leave being the bigger person and just break down at home, to myself.

I reach down grabbing my shoes as I feel his hands on my hips pressing himself against the back of me. I turn then elbow him in the d**k as hard as I can, from my angle of still being bent over, sending him to the ground groaning so loudly.

"I told you to not touch me again Jax.. I'm trying to make this as easy as I can on you and you're just making it harder. Don't touch me again." I say laced with such malice because that felt really good to put him through that pain after what he has been doing to me.

I make my way through the house grabbing the rest of my clothes that I can see and two bottles of liquor from his cabinet because I'm going to celebrate the end of all of this dumb s**t that this J*ckass has done to me and the waste of two years.. like any sane person would, by drinking it away. Forgetting it at least for tonight if I can. I slam the door behind me as I make my trek back to my place with a determination in every single step I take. A determination to forget the pain that's filling my heart within this moment.

I walk back to my place, taking a drink here and there as I cry so hard probably looking absolutely ridiculous. People probably think I'm crazy or something. I have been getting a lot of stares as I stomp on with a determination to just get out of anyone and everyone's line of sight. I don't like being stared at, so I just need to get home now..

I get to my place quicker than it took for me to get to his.. or at least it feels like it. I open my door throwing myself inside with such a haste to lock myself away for the night.. maybe forever, who knows.. only time will tell. That was awful, it felt like I just made a different kind of 'walk of shame' home after that terrible moment.

I shut the door behind me throwing the clothes all over the ground around me as I twist open the bottle of coconut rum taking a huge chug of it. I let the warming of the liquid take over, warming me up and calming me slightly. I need more of this feeling, so I pull out some pineapple juice to mix with the rum as I also take shots of the rum in between drinks. I pull out my weed and pipe to smoke as many bowls as I can and hopefully the combo of the alcohol and weed together should help me start to feel better, or numb, at least for tonight.

This is going to be bad I can already tell, but I don't care right now. Coconut rum is my favorite liquor oddly enough, which is why I grabbed these two bottles of that rum from his cabinet.. he bought them for me anyways.. supposedly.. but the issue I have with this rum is that I always get f*#ked up off of it because it's easy for me to drink a lot of.. But thankfully today is the day for me to get f*#ked up for good reason, crying my sorrows away and forgetting this day ever happened.. even if it's just for tonight.

I take another shot of rum at the awful thought of this shitty ass day.. I can't believe Jax would cheat on me after two years and with how many girls? One that I know of for sure and maybe two with the other pair of underwear in his room. I don't think I really want to know how many girls he has cheated on me with.. That would just make me feel worse in so many ways.. So no point in knowing those details.

How stupid have I been, not seeing this coming or even happening. Were there red flags I was just ignoring or what? Well I mean Gary and my parents have been telling me for a while he is no good for me.. and I ignored it..

Mostly ignored the warning from them because having the bad boy as your man was a different type of exhilarating. We were always doing something naughty and going to places I shouldn't be.. but that's why Gary and even my family were telling me to get rid of him. I should have known that a bad boy like Jaxon couldn't ever be tied down to just one woman.. he would never actually commit to just me.. I feel so stupid to ever think he would.

I can't stop thinking about all of this.. I don't know if it's because I'm drunk now or because it's the reason why I'm drinking.. So of course this situation is on my mind to my dismay. But I was trying to forget about all this and it's just getting worse the more I drink. It's been hours now.. how many hours? Who knows really, this whole night is a blurr, just a lot of shots and tears from my heart being torn in two.. that's all I need to remember.

I take another shot after those sad thoughts, making me cry to myself more. It's hard to hate him, Jaxon wasn't a bad guy, as bad as that sounds. I know he f*#ked me over and all, but he was able to do it for so long because he was nice and sweet to me. So I was none the wiser of what was really happening behind my back.

I take another shot, crying more to myself. I sniffle and hang my head as I hear a knocking on my door. I go to stand up quickly but the alcohol hits me like a brick wall. I get light headed as I trip and yelp, falling to the ground abruptly.

"Lilly? You ok?" I hear on the other side of the door from Garrett. "GarBear! I fell!" I yell at him laughing so loudly at how ridiculous I must look, now laying on my back on the ground. I can even feel my dress up from the fall. I'm sure this is a crazy sight to see.. I'm not normally a sloppy drunk, I'm a layed back fun drunk.

I can see from upside down that the front door is opening and Garrett's walking in then shutting the door behind him, then quickly turning before running to me.

"Lilly what happened?!" He asked with such panic in his voice as he picks me up off the floor bridal style. "Oh my sweet Garbear... I'm just obliterated drunk right now. So don't worry about me. I'll be ok." I say touching his cheek lightly as he smiles down at me with that gorgeous smile of his.

I have had feelings for Garrett for a very very long time but he has never tried anything with me no matter how many signals I have given him.. so I just figured he doesn't want to be with me, but it's ok because he is still my best friend no matter what, so I have just learned to control my feelings around him as much as I can.

But sometimes when your drunk you just can't control your feelings.. or maybe you can control them but just don't want to anymore.

I don't know which reason it is right now.. but all I do know is that s****l attention would make me feel better right now.. So I want to kiss those perfect lips of his. So before I chicken out and with my hand still on his cheek, I pull him in and kiss him the way I have wanted to for so long, pressing my lips to his.

I feel him pressing his lips into mine and moving them, just kissing me back.. so I run my hand through his hair pulling him into me more. He sets us down on my couch as I slip my tongue in between his lips, getting a sample of how good he tastes and it's almost a sweet, just as amazing as I remember. I kiss him with the hunger that has built up inside of me for so long.

Garrett breaks away from my lips.. Which shocks me completely because I thought he was liking the kiss, he said he loved kissing me earlier.. maybe I'm doing a bad job since I'm drunk. "I'm sorry Lilly but I can't do this, not like this." He says to me so empathetically.

I shake my head in disbelief. "Did you not like the kiss?" I asked with offense laced in every single word. He shakes his head at me vigorously. "No it was great.. amazing.. It's just.." He says staring at me nervously as I think I know why he won't kiss me.

"Oh I get it.. You don't have to worry Gary, I'm not cheating, I broke up with Jaxon today because he has been cheating on me with who knows how many girls.. So I'm single now." I try to explain to him as he nods sadly at me replying. "Yea I know."

My eyebrows scrunch up as I stare at him with question apparent on my face. "How do you know? I haven't told anyone yet, you were the first.. So how could you have possibly known?"

He looks guilty as he looks away from me and says reluctantly, "When I was on my date last night I saw Jaxon on a date with another woman kissing her.. I confronted him about it of course and he said he would tell you himself today."

My mouth drops open as I think about what he just said.. "So wait Gary, you're telling me that you knew this whole day, that he was cheating on me and going to break my heart in two.. Then you chose to let him break me.. with no warning to me? What did I ever do to you to deserve that?" I ask as I stand up quickly and almost falling to the ground as Garrett catches me before I hit the floor, holding me tight, helping me back up to my feet.

I hit away his strong helpful hands and pushing on his broad chest as I yell, "I can't believe you would betray me like that.. by helping out the man that's hurting me, making me hurt even worse than I already do.. You know I would never do that to you! I would do anything for you and this is what you do for me?! Get out!" I yell as the tears start rolling down again and I can't control them at all right now.

"My Lilly flower.. please it's not like that." Garrett says to me as I stop in my tracks at that statement. He wraps his arms around me pulling me into him which I love but I can't love this right now I'm pissed.. he betrayed me..

To everyone else it's almost implied that Jaxon was going to break my heart but Garrett hurting me. I didn't see that coming and man it hurts worse than the break up.. so I push back against him.

"Oh really? So am I misunderstanding then? So you didn't actually find out last night that Jaxon was cheating on me?" I ask him as he gets a guilty look on his face replying, "I did find out last night he was cheating."

I nod as I state, "You found out last night and chose to not tell me at all today because of whatever reason.. just waiting for him to break up with me hurting me. Did you know that I was going to find him with another woman too?" I ask spitefully with so much anger behind my words. Garrett shakes his head asking in shock. "You found him with another woman?"

I nod and say, "He was only kissing her luckily, but it still f*#king hurt.. So I grabbed my things from his place and he even thought he was helping me by grabbing the thong off the floor for me, but it wasn't even mine so that sucked. Then I have to keep warning him to not touch me and when he didn't listen and tried to touch me, I hit him in the d**k and then jacking two of his bottles of liquor.. Wait why am I talking to you?! I'm mad at you! Get out!" I yell again as he backs up slowly towards the front door. He looks like a puppy that got in trouble.

"Lilly please listen to me." He says as I keep pushing him out the door, shaking my head with the silent tears still falling down my face. He doesn't fight my push, he respects me the whole way, just going with what I want.. I push him out and shut the door in his face as I lock the door behind me.

I lean up against the door sniffling crying to myself as I slowly drift to the floor with my back still against the door. I cry into my hands just hating today so much. This is the first time in a long time that I really feel alone.