Pinky Promise

Chapter 15 Eating Out

Lillith's POV

We drive for a little while longer until I can't stand the sound of my stomach growling loudly any longer. "Please Jax baby I'm dying of starvation over here.. is this your plan? To not keep me around but kill me?" I groan putting my hands to my head with my wrists still taped together.. I groan every time realizing I don't have the full movements of my hands, I have been gnawing on the tape to try to help.. but honestly it's not helping..

"I know you're hungry I can here your stomach from up here.. but I don't know if I can trust you." He says to me instantly pissing me off with this comment.. probably because I'm hangry at this point.

"Excuse me?" I ask so spitefully in each of my words. "Not like that Cupcake.. I mean I would stop at a restaurant if I could trust that you won't scream bloody murder or run away.. but I don't know if I can trust you to not do that." He explains more as I scoff.

"You're the one that was cheating on me but you don't know of you can trust me?! I'm the most trustworthy person in this car asshole! Now you better pull this car over and get me something to eat before I kick you in the head!" I demand from him earning his husky deep chuckle that seems to fill the car with a different type of happiness.

"Fine my feisty little Cupcake.. but please don't run.. promise me you won't run.. or I won't stop to get us food, you have to promise." He demands back from me as I groan.. he knows I'm a person of my word and always have been.

"I promise I won't run.." I say to him as he adds, "Or scream.." I groan and repeat back reluctantly, "Or scream."

"You promise to be good for me Cupcake?" He asks as I glare up at him repeating for him through gritted teeth, so he will shut up and get me food. "I promise to be good."

I watch the smile grow so big across his face as he nods and starts to pull over, I'm assuming to a restaurant but I'm still laying in the back seat so I can't tell.

I can feel the car come to a complete stop as I hear him putting the car into park. He leans over the seat, pulling out his butterfly knife, flipping it out and around until it's completely together so he can cut the tape off. He lifts up my hands staring at the tape curiously.

"Have you been chewing on this tape?... We're you that hungry or just trying to escape?" He asks playfully making me scoff and respond, "Both!" He chuckles again at that comment, making me gain a small smirk, I love that genuine chuckle of his, it's the in the belly chuckle and those are always contagious..

This whole situation is so hard for me emotionally.. I have loved Jaxon for a while now hoping for so much more in our relationship for the two of us and never got it.. being let down everytime but I never stopped loving the man I knew he was inside and always hoping for the best, because that's the type of person I am, always hoping for the best outcome..

So his cute little quirks that he does, makes me so mad because I want to hate him so much with him cheating on me and kidnapping me, completely taking me away from my friends and family.. but I know all of this is because of his love for me that I have been craving for years so it's hard to hate this as weird as that may sound.

This silly lighthearted guy is the one that I fell for years ago and it's honestly nice to have him back. So this breathe of fresh air is making me have to really fight the smile that wants to break out across my face because of him.

"Oh gosh Cupcake you better get better at holding that smile back, if you don't, then I might think I actually can make you happy." He says mockingly to me releasing my hands from the tapes tight sticky hold so I playfully slap his chest sitting up quickly.

He doesn't move like I figured he would leaving our faces very close as I respond a little softly, "Well I was the one that was happy with you.. wanting to move in and get our lives started together but I couldn't say the same about you.." I say to him as he nods and says just as softly, "I didn't know what I had until it was gone.. and I'm sorry that's what it took.. but never again.. You're all I want I swear I'm done with everything.. the drugs, drinking, criminal mischief and other woman.. I told my friends I was done with them and I left.. I swear I just want to prove to you that you're all I need." He says reaching up pushing stray hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear.

"You were right before when you said to me that I never gave you a fair chance at having all of my heart because of my love for Garrett.." I confess to him as he swallows hard before asking, "Well do you think now that we are gone and never going back.. that you can give me a fair chance to gain all of your heart? I know I have some of it and you can't deny that."

"I would never deny that.. you know I love you and have for a very long time.. but I know I can't ever promise you all of my heart when some of it is already taken.." I say so honestly to him.

His hands goes from my ear to the back of my head pulling me in, crashing his lips to mine.

Once he breaks our kiss he speaks into my lips in his sexy deep tone I have always loved. "Well I guess I have forever to win over your full heart.. I'm going to give you the home you wanted with me.. We could even start a family if you wanted.. everything you talked about is yours if that's what you still want with me.. I'll do anything to keep you and nothing sounds better then finally starting a life with you.. keeping you forever at my side."

This makes my heart race, skipping so many beats, just taking the breathe right out of my lungs.. this is what I have been wanting to hear from him for at least a year now and my body is titillated by this thought alone.. I feel so crazy, how can I even remotely think about this as ok.. He has kidnapped me, this can't be ok, no matter who did it or why.. No matter how bad I have been wanting to start a life with him.. No matter how sexy his eyes look filled with so much love for me.. No matter how good his lips feel pressed to mine in a passionate liplock.. This is still not ok and I have to keep telling myself that, bringing myself back down to reality so I don't get reeled back in by his hypnotizing words matched with his mystifying gaze.

That's what reeled me in, in the first place with him. He is like a spider persuasively leading the fly to his web and I willingly went.. and I don't know if I can get out.. Everytime I have tried he just reels me back in.. for two years now.. He knows he has a part of my heart and he is playing the heart strings as if he is a violinist.

"Come on Cupcake let's get you something to eat. But please stay with me." He says getting out of the car then opening the door for me. He extends his hand to me so I place my hand into his.

He grips my hand tighter, shutting the door behind me and leading us across the parking lot then into the diner. We walk in and it's seat yourself so he takes us to a corner booth.. he leads me in first as he traps me in the corner by sitting on the outside of me. His manly musk fills my nostrils as he wraps his arm across my shoulders pulling me into him.

"Well hello, aren't you two adorable together. What may I get you two little love birds to drink?" The old waitress asks as I reply softly, "Dr. Pepper please." She nods and looks at Jaxon. "Make that two please." He says to her as she smiles and nods leaving us to be alone.

I keep my head down trying to be good for Jaxon like I promised because I will always be a person of my word.. My word means everything to me. But keeping my head down has brought my attention to my wrists and they are red and incredibly irritated because of the tape that's been on them for hours.

"Awe Cupcake, I'm so sorry I thought if I used tape that wouldn't hurt you but I guess I was wrong I'm so sorry." Jaxon states as his open hand gently touches my wrists that are sore and tender now.

The waitress brings over our drinks and makes direct eye contact with wounds on my wrists. I don't know what to do about this as Jaxon sees this too. He grabs a peice of ice from his drink, rubbing it gently on the wound making it feel way better almost instaniously as he says, "She got burnt earlier.. we will make her feel better though." He says almost too sweetly as the old woman nods but not looking like she is fully believing his explanation.

"Yes of course sir... I mean what else could that even be besides a burn.. Um I'll give you both a minute to look at the menus and let me know if you have any questions, I'll be right back to get your order." She says turning and walking away.

Jaxon turns to me and says, "Dammit I knew this was a bad idea, what if she figured it out before we can even get to the next state.. We might have to get a hotel and lay low until I can get us at least to the airport."

"It's fine she doesn't know.. stop worrying Jax." I try to reassure for the old woman's sake because I don't know if he wouldn't do anything to the one woman who is possibly standing in the way of his happiness with me.

"I just can't lose you baby, you don't know what you mean to me and I won't let some old lady come between us." He says threateningly with the worry I had in my head coming to life as I shake my head at him.

"No don't say that Jax, you promised you're done with that way of life.. You can't do anything to her or I WILL scream.. If you break your promise then I'll break mine.. If you don't do anything to her and ignore her by trying to act normal, I will keep doing the same and acting normal.. please baby.. for me." I propose the compromise to him as he lets out a deep breath and nods at me pulling me more into him as he kisses my lips then my forehead.

"Alright love birds are you ready to order?" The waitress asks as I smile at her saying, "May I please have the club sandwich with those yummy sounding curly fries.. thank you." I reply quickly. She smiles and writes down my order looking at my wrists again so I try to take the attention away from them as I take Jaxon's hand into mine, interlocking our fingers.

This catches both of their attention making Jaxon smile bigger than ever cutting the tension in half instantly before responding, "I would love a bacon cheese burger with some of those curly fries she was talking about as well, please and thank you."

The waitress nods as she walks away to put our order in. "I knew you could come around to my idea of us running away together." He says to me, pulling my hand that's intertwined with his to his lips as he kisses the back of it.

"You know I love you Jaxon but I don't know if I will ever be ok with being away from my family like this.. but I guess if I'm going to be abducted by anyone I guess I'm glad it's you, someone I do love." I say too honestly to him as he leans in close kissing my cheek then whispering into my ear.

"I'll make sure this is worth it for you my love.. I have a place for us that I want to get for you in Jamacia.. It's perfect, 2 story 4 bedroom 3 bathroom.. not too big not too small.. Big enough that we can start making our little family." He says sending so many shivers up and down my spine.

"Why Jamaica?" I ask curiously as he smiles big and says, "You always talked about living by the water and how much you wanted to see Jamaica so why not?" He says so plainly to me as of it's just obvious. I never knew he actually listened to anything I said when I was babbling about places I wanted to visit.

"So what did you do to get all this money to afford this life with me?" I ask him as he shakes his head at me. "You know you don't really want to know that Cupcake." He replies back so quickly..

"Yes I do.. I need to know is it blood money that's going to be paying for my life with you?" I ask him as he looks so guilty then replying, "I had to do what was required of me by my boss and some of it did end in bloodshed.. I won't lie to you but that's not your fault it's just the way I got paid.. I'm the guy that makes sure the plan goes through.. I knew you wouldn't like my job that's why I never told you.." He explains to me as I sadly nod with the waitress coming back to us with our plates of food, setting them down in front of us on the table. "Here you go do you need anything else?" She asks kindly as we both shake our heads. "Ok you two enjoy and I'll be back to check up on you." She Instructs as we watch her turn and walk away.

I grab a fry plopping it into my mouth as I chew it with my mouth closed. I feel eyes on me as I look over at Jaxon and he is smiling down at me. "What?" I ask shyly as I pop another fry into my mouth.

"I just want you to know that I'm not crazy, I just did all this for you because I love you and couldn't stand losing you.. No matter what happens." He says suspiciously to me.

"What do you mean by saying, no matter what happens?" I ask him a little sadly, for some reason THAT part of his explanation got my attention over everything else.

"I'm just being realistic with myself Cupcake.. I know what I did was wrong and completely against the law.. I know we are on the run and there is a small chance of success for myself, but that doesn't mean a man can't have dreams.. but because I f*#ked up with us, this was the only way to get what I wanted. But not the way I wanted of course... I'm just not a 'dying of old age kind of man'.. I'm a 'going out with guns a blazing' kind of man.. But I'm going to enjoy this time with you as long as I can and just hope we are in that small percent of success, to lock down the only good thing in my life.. I have a bad feeling we are not though.. but there is no turning back now, nor do I want to turn back now." He says to me with a tinge of determination laced through his explanation.

"You could always stop and turn yourself in so nothing bad happens to you." I say with so much concern for him. He smiles and touches my chin lightly asking just as softly. "I love how you are always thinking of others before yourself.. Are you not concerned that YOU might get hurt my love?"

I smile and shake my head. "Jaxon I love you and don't want to see anything bad happen to you.. But if we keep going down this route that won't be a possibility.. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you because of me." I explain to him sadly at the thought of anything like that happening to him.. He really is a good guy just making bad decisions. Doing all the wrong things with the best intentions, thinking with his heart and not his mind.

"As long as my last bit of life is with you, is all I care about honestly.. I won't go into a prison baby, even if you would come see me. I won't force myself into that type of torture away from you. Watching you grow and be happy without me, which is what I know you would do because you deserve that life baby and that's all I would want for you.. but not while I'm miserable in a cell.. I would rather die." He says to me as my mouth drops and I look him straight in the eyes stating. "You make it sound like you are going to get caught and get yourself killed out there." There is so much worry in my voice for him and I know he can hear it.

"Like I said baby, going out guns a blazin' just as I would want it. Fighting for the one thing I want in life, but knowing I probably won't get." He says softly to me kissing my cheek as he says, "Don't worry about me Cupcake. It's all as it should be.. I just know I can't be without you and it's ok.. I have come to terms with this.. Just be with me for the time I have left please baby." He says to me softly into my ear almost just as sad as I feel right now. I can't get any words from my lips because I know I would cry. So I just nod giving into his request. I lean in putting my head on his shoulder as he tightens his hold around me just trying to enjoy what we have left together, which according to him is not a lot.

This sucks, it sounds like he just did this as some last big memorable moment in his life before he is going to get himself killed.. but I have to convince him otherwise maybe there is something I can try to do to get himself to stop all this before we can't turn back.

Maybe he is not as delusional about this situation as I thought.. Maybe he just wants to be able to choose his exit out of this world which is more than any of us can do.. not what I want him to do, but at the same time it's admirable at least from my point of view.. It's brave to take what you want, protect it as long as you can.. Until you have to take on whatever might come for it.. It's brave that he knows what might be awaiting him and he is ok with it still wanting what he wants, showing how much he really does love me. At the chance of coming off as crazy, I think it's sexy that he would fight just to be with me even though it's also stupid. The crazy things you do for love.