Somber Song

Chapter 8 - Haunting Dreams

        I spent most of that day up in my room, filling the remaining blank spaces of the scratch books. It calmed me immensely as I focused on the movement of the pencil, the smears of graphite that remained on my hands as I went to add another detail. I had not realized what I was drawing until I was finished, and I stared at the picture of the white wolf watching me with its black eyes from the paper. It was exactly as I remembered him, down to the new scratch on its leg. 

        A knock on the door took me out of my thoughts, and I looked around. I realized I was sitting on the window ledge with nothing but the moonlight allowing me to see my scratch book. It was dark outside, and the moon was high in the sky, which explained the sudden rush of liveliness I felt despite my sore muscles.

        “Come in,” I said, turning my head towards the door. The smell of food was the only thing that I could register on the other side, and my stomach growled in anticipation. The door swung open, and a figure stepped in, pausing at the threshold as he was greeted by utter darkness. He flipped the light switch, and I instinctively closed my eyes to shield them from the sudden brightness.

        “Why are you sitting in the dark?” Caleb’s voice asked and annoyance swept over me. I forced it on the back of my mind and took a few more seconds to make sure I wouldn’t sound snarky when I replied.

        “I lost track of time,” I said, closing the sketchbook and getting up. “What is it?”

        “I bring food and I seek peace,” he said, raising the tray in one hand and waving a white napkin with the other. I couldn’t help but smile, which he returned immediately. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior today. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

        I sat on the bed, and he hesitated before dropping on the other side. The mattress let out a loud, annoying creak and I laughed, shaking my head.

        “I hoped you had fixed that by now,” I said, reaching out and grabbing one of the fries from the plate. He rolled his eyes.

        “You were gone and nobody has used this bed in years. I’ll fix it, I promise.” He replied, helping himself to some of my fries.

        “Right, I’ve heard that before. Five years ago.”

        His grimace made me laugh even harder, and I almost choked on the food.

        “I remember. It’s hard enough to live in a house where everybody has perfect hearing. It’s another thing when you try to speak to your girlfriend’s room and her bed is playing the role of an alarm system,” he joked, but he soon realized that he was yet again nearing a touchy subject. I had had some time to think after the conversation with Julian, and I had realized there was no way his request could work if I pretended like I was leaving tomorrow. And there was no way I could have any kind of relationship with Caleb if we couldn’t even talk to each other. Apparently, he misread my expression because he sighed.

        “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

        “Caleb, it’s fine. Really.” I told him, smiling. “We can’t pretend like the past never happened. We shouldn’t. I think it’s time we moved forward like adults.” He watched me carefully, studying my face. I reached out and grabbed the white napkin he still held, snatching it out of his grip and waving it in the air. “I accept your peace under one condition.”

        He didn’t expect that if I could judge by his expression.

        “You have to stop eating my food, dude. You know I hate to share.” He pursed his lips to suppress the rising burst of laughter. “Oh, and the bed. You promised to fix the bed,” I added. “And my roof spot, I found it first so basically it’s mine. The same thing applies to the armchair downstairs. You know which one I am talking about.”

        He finally burst into laughter, and I felt my heart flutter. His happy smile was just as remembered, just as I imagined so many times. It was good seeing him like that. It felt so very right.

        “Anything else?” He asked with an exasperated sigh.

        “I keep the right to add stuff indefinitely,” I replied, grabbing another fry. He stared at me for a bit, as if contemplating whether he should accept.

        “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” He laughed.

        “Of course not. I always get what I want, remember?” I leaned back in the bed, letting out an involuntary moan as my shoulder brushed against the headpiece. His expression instantly changed and I could swear I saw panic in his eyes.

        “Are you alright?” He asked as if expecting me to wither and die in front of him.

        “Yeah,” I nodded, shifting more comfortably. “Just sore. It’s all healed.” I turned to a side to show him, and for a moment he stared at the smooth skin that held no marks of the wound. It still hurt a bit, but that was nothing compared to the possibility of being infected by a deadly venom.

        “Promise me you won’t go out by yourself,” he said in a serious tone. I rolled my eyes. “Promise me.”

        “Like any of you is going to let me anywhere near the forest,” I mumbled. “Seriously, how stupid do you have me for? I got lucky once, I doubt it would happen again. Have some faith in me.”

        “I do have faith in you,” he said, getting up from the bed, “it’s the others I don’t trust.” He looked around as if he was planning to say something, but then he just announced he was going to bed and headed towards the door. On the threshold, he stopped and turned to look at me.

        “It’s good having you back, Mia,” he said, and before I could reply he was gone.

*  *  *  *  *

        “I love you.”

        I turned to the side and smiled as I stared into Caleb’s dark eyes. He was lying on his side, leaning his head on his elbow. Water glistened over his naked chest and a few drops fell from his hair, disappearing in the fresh grass. Just as I took in the pleasant sight, a loud, vicious howl pierced the serene song of the birds and the river nearby, making me turn. There was no one around us, just more trees and grass and the hot sun warming our bodies. 

        “Mia,” Caleb spoke again, reaching out and caressing my cheek, forcing me to look at him. It was still there, the warm, loving spark that appeared in his eyes when he looked at me.

        Staring at him smiling at me made my body hot and my mind dizzy. I wanted to reach out and run a hand over those firm muscles; I wanted to touch his hair and bury my face in his neck. I wanted to be close to him and never let go.

        His fingers, coarse from the hard work at the farm and yet so gentle, caught my chin and guided my face to his. I complied without hesitation, my lips parting impatiently. A playful smirk appeared on his lips just as he pressed his mouth against mine, his hand wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer to his body.

        I felt like I could stay there forever, lost in this single moment without violence, without grief or danger. Just him - I was perfectly happy with just him in the middle of nowhere.

        His sweet lips left mine, showering my face with kisses. His mouth traveled to my neck, barely touching the sensitive skin, while his hands traced the outline of my body, setting every inch they caressed on fire.

        “I love…” He whispered in my ear and his body pressed harder against mine. Holding my breath, I waited in anticipation for him to finish his thought, but he said nothing. Instead, the touch of his hands and body disappeared.

        I opened my eyes at once, the sense of danger ringing in my head. My body tensed in alert as I watched him disappear through the trees, his hands reaching out for me. I couldn’t see what or who was dragging him, but I could clearly see his pleading eyes, full of pain and fear. 

        I got up and ran after him, shouting his name. The more I ran, the faster he was disappearing. It felt like I was running for hours when I finally tripped, falling on my face on the forest floor. The trees were different there, tall and dark, with their branches forming an impenetrable cover that hid the sun. 

        I forced myself up despite the pain in my bare feet and the stiffness of my muscles. 

        I had to find Caleb. I had to save him.

        I trekked through the forest, following his scent until I fell again. I was so tired and so drained that all I could do was to rise to my knees. My ears perked up as I heard the rustling of leaves and the soft sound of paws stepping on leaves. I looked up.

        I found myself in a small clearing, surrounded by the same ominous trees from all sides. My heart sunk as I looked around the ground - bodies littered every piece of dirt and grass. Human bodies, wolf bodies  - cold and bloodied and long dead. I recognized the scents even without searching for their faces - all of them familiar, all of them dear. 

        My whole family was lying there at my feet, every person I knew and cared about.

        The steps reappeared, and I looked for their owner. From the darkness of the trees stepped forward a big white wolf, dragging something with his teeth. My head spun as I recognized the pitch-black fur of Caleb’s wolf. He was covered in wounds, his eyes closed.

        I wanted to scream, but my voice wouldn’t leave my lips. I tried to get up, but my feet refused to move. All I could do was stand there and watch.

        The white wolf dropped Caleb’s body in the center of the clearing. The pearl-white fur around his mouth was stained with blood, but he seemed unharmed. His dark eyes watched me silently as I tried to break from the spell holding me down.

        He stepped on Caleb’s body without even looking down, then continued towards me, baring his teeth. Every step he took made me fight harder than before. I couldn’t die like that. I couldn’t disappear before making him pay for all he had done. I was going to kill him no matter what.

        The invisible chains holding me down disappeared, and I jumped at him a second after my shift was complete. He met me with his teeth bared and mind set to kill. I avoided his mouth, his teeth chattering as he missed my neck by a hair. I moved back, giving myself more space for another attack. I looked down at something I stepped on and Ethan’s eyes stared at me unseeingly, an expression of pain and suffering imprinted on his face.

        I growled and ran towards the white wolf, attacking him again. His movements were a blur, but I kept striking, not giving him the chance to switch to offense. For a few minutes, I attacked, and he dodged, growls and howls echoing through the trees. My body was growing weaker with each fresh cut and bite, but so was his. Our pale furs were smeared with red and brown from rolling in the mud and the puddles of blood, our breaths coming out sharp and heavy.

        I attacked again, changing direction at the last moment and going for his hind leg. His move was like lightning - he twisted his head and tried to bite into my neck, shifting his balance to the legs on my side. I was already expecting that and took the chance without delay. I rammed into his body, pushing him to the ground. He growled and tried to shake me off, but I locked my teeth on his neck, squeezing with all my might. He whimpered, struggling a bit more until I finally heard his bones cracking. Blood filled my mouth.

        I stepped back from his body, staring at his glassy eyes. His blood spread under his body, mixing with everyone else’s. The feeling of triumph didn’t come, no matter how long I waited. His death meant nothing, changed nothing. 

        I turned around, staring at the bodies of my family still lying quiet and unmoving around me. My worst fears were finally taking shape. 

        They were all dead. Caleb was dead. The white wolf was dead.

        And me? I had finally turned into what I hated the most - a murderer who felt absolutely nothing at the sight of their victim.

         I raised my head and howled, putting all my desperation and sorrow in that one moment. The sound carried, loud and piercing, drilling into my head.

        I jumped in my bed, panting heavily. My vision was blurry and my eyes stung. I reached up and rubbed them, only to realize I was crying. I wiped them quickly and looked around - I was in my room, in my bed, in my family house. I could hear familiar voices downstairs and after I tensed a bit, I recognized Ian and his mother arguing. Ethan was talking with someone on the phone in his room and Ben was chewing loudly some kind of crunchy food.

        They were fine. They were all alive. It was all a dream. But then what was that sound?

        I kicked my covers off and got to my feet, stepping towards the window and pushing the curtains away. My heartbeat quickened as I stared at the two police cars outside, their lights flickering ominously in the cloudy morning.