East Kids - Tessa & Elijah

Chapter 20

Tessa

My heart slips into my pants when I discover Jil in the hallway of our apartment. It must have started to rain because her clothes are soaking wet. She is soaking wet that a few drops are already accumulating on our parquet floor.

Her eyes are totally red and swollen as if she had cried. Slowly I walk towards her while she just keeps staring at me wordlessly. Jil's lip trembles, making her even more vulnerable to me.

"What's the matter,' I ask. My voice is warm and soft, almost as if I was talking to a toddler or a puppy. Carefully I take first her right and then her left hand into mine. Immediately I feel that she holds her hand firmly clasped in her trembling hand, as if her life would hang on it.

She opens her mouth a gap wide and briefly I think she would say something, then she closes it again and just looks at me with big eyes for a few seconds. Then, without me being able to say how or why it happens, she starts to get watery and a silent tear rolls down her cheek. But she is only the harbinger of the waterfall that will follow.

From one second to the next she begins to sob again and tremble even harder. Tears roll more tears down her cheeks as her whole body cramps.

Automatically I take her mobile phone out of her hand, put it in my pocket and pull it into my arms. The desire to help her throbs painfully in my head, but I don't know what's going on. I'd like to shake her hard and get her to tell me what's going on, but that would be the most unfeeling thing you could do in such a situation. So I just hold her in my arms and try to help her calm down. At this moment I just want to protect her and show her that everything is okay, although it probably isn't at all for her.

After a few minutes in which we just stood in the hallway and held each other tight, she lifts her head off me again, almost wet by now, shoulder and looks at me: "Can I stay here today? I gently stroke one of her wet strands from her face and look at her for a moment.

Since I've known her, I've never seen her so agitated. Her eyes seem to have lost all hope and instead seem desolate and dripping with sadness. With a thumb I wipe away a little tear and nod to her without even thinking about it: "Of course, you know that the doors of this house are always open to you". "But what about your mom? her voice sounds insecure and broken. "I'll talk to her and discuss in case of emergency, but she knows and likes you", that's the truth. Already when I brought Jil home for the first time many years ago, my mother said that she could come more often. "Thank you", Jil tries to give me a smile, but it looks much more like a grimace.

"Come on, we'd better go upstairs. Then I can pick out some fresh things for you. If you walk around in those wet things for any longer, you'll catch a cold", we're just about to start autumn, but I don't want to be the one to blame if she gets sick in the end. After all, she usually manages to catch a cold even in midsummer. How she manages that.

This time she only nods and then waddles behind me as I climb the stairs. Although the question of what is actually going on is burning under my fingernails, it will probably have to wait. Because I don't want to force them to do anything. We'll talk about it when she's ready on her own. And if that is not today, then it is not today. Maybe it's not even tomorrow, next week or next month, but it doesn't matter. If she herself is willing to confide in me, I will be there and listen. And in all the time she may need before that, I will just be there for her and give her a place where she doesn't have to explain herself.