Chapter 3
1997 Words
Larissa: Yes, Mr. Collins.
Ryan: Your food voucher is already here. Tomorrow bring your employment record book so I can sign it.
Where did I put my employment record book? He handed me the food voucher. Today I'll prepare a good dinner at home. I'm very happy to have a food voucher.
Larissa: Yes, sir.
Ryan: Here's the gate key. Tomorrow you start at the same time. At 8:30 I'll come down for my coffee.
Larissa: Yes, sir.
Ryan: Good girl, I don't like delays so...
Larissa: I won't be late.
Ryan: Great.
I'm very excited. I leave Mr. Collins' house. Minutes later I got on the bus, stopped by the school to pick up Henrique, and went to the market.
I put Henrique in those carts for children, and make a small purchase of things I can carry, due to the time the supermarket doesn't deliver to the favela.
I walk slowly home. Henrique wants to walk by himself. He shows me everything that catches his attention.
It's already 7 PM when we get home. My father is not home, so I go to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
At 8 PM, Henrique and I had dinner. I tidy up the kitchen and go to the living room to play with him, shortly after my father comes home drunk.
Father Fernando: Lari, you arrived. I just left a little while ago.
Larissa: Go take a shower, Dad, then you can have dinner.
Father Fernando: Is there dinner today?
Larissa: There is.
Father Fernando: That's great, isn't it?
Larissa: It is, dad.
He goes to take a shower. I put Henrique to sleep, went back to the living room, and waited for my father to come out of the bathroom.
Father Fernando: You bought a lot of stuff.
Larissa: I bought more things for Henrique. Since I can't carry much by myself, on Saturday we'll go to the market for a proper shopping trip.
Father Fernando: With what money?
Larissa: My boss gave me a food voucher. It's enough for a good purchase.
Father Fernando: Oh...
Larissa: You promised me you wouldn't go out.
Father Fernando: I just went for a quick drink.
Larissa: Dad, the bar owners keep coming here to threaten us.
Father Fernando: I don't care.
Larissa: But I do. Do you think I like being threatened? What if they do something to you? Or to Henrique? If you don't stop drinking, unfortunately, I'll have to send you to a rehab clinic.
Father Fernando: You won't. This house is mine. I do what I want. If you don't like it, go live somewhere else.
Larissa: The house is yours, yes, but you should care about your life.
Father Fernando: And you should care about your life.
Larissa: Maybe I should care about my life and let you sink and then have no one to help you. Since we're not welcome here. I'll move somewhere else. I don't want my son growing up seeing you like this.
Father Fernando: Seeing me like this?
Larissa: Yes, a drunk who ends up on the street, doesn't get a job because he goes to interviews drunk.
Father Fernando: Enough, Larissa. Enough. Just because you got a job now, you're like this.
Larissa: Like what?
Father Fernando: A nag.
I get up, go to my room, exchange messages with Manu, and then fall asleep.
I wake up in the morning, go to the kitchen, make myself a coffee, return to the bedroom, get ready, then change Henrique's clothes, grab our things, carry Henrique in my arms to the nursery, and head to work.
***
I arrive at work, change clothes, prepare the coffee, and set the table, waiting for Mr. Collins.
At exactly 8:30, he sits down at the table, I serve the coffee, he takes a sip and makes a face.
Ryan: This coffee is horrible, make a new one immediately.
Larissa: Yes, sir.
I enter the kitchen, trembling. I can't believe I'm going to lose my job over a coffee. I brew a fresh pot and serve it to him. He takes a sip of the coffee.
Ryan: Larissa, do you really know how to cook?
Larissa: Yes, sir.
Ryan: I have my doubts. The coffee tastes terrible, like powder, it's so thick you could cut it.
Larissa: I'm sorry, sir.
Ryan: Don't apologize, do better.
I return to the kitchen to make another pot, cursing him in my thoughts with the worst names, wondering what I'm doing wrong, finish making the coffee and take it to the table and serve him.
Ryan: Your face looks horrible. I like to be served with a smile.
I give a fake smile. But in my head, the curses continue. For all his good looks, he's equally annoying, disgusting, rude, and picky.
Ryan: Your smile is very fake and your coffee is still horrible. I'm not drinking this; you've ruined my morning, and when my day starts badly, I'm in a bad mood all day. You should at least know how to make coffee...
Larissa: But...
Ryan: Don't interrupt me while I'm speaking, got it?
Larissa: Yes, Mr. Collins.
Ryan: Great, I'm going to the police station now. I won't be back for lunch.
Larissa: Yes, sir.
Ryan: I don't want to risk eating something awful.
Larissa: My food isn't bad.
Ryan: After not knowing how to make a simple coffee, I have my doubts if you really know how to cook.
I returned to the kitchen, crying out of anger; he was so rude, he didn't need to speak like that. It's not going to be easy working for this annoying man.
As soon as I hear the door slam, I go upstairs to tidy up his room, clean the bathroom, then make his bed.
I go to the balcony, collect the clothes that are already ironed, and go to the room to store them, open the wardrobe door, and hang the shirts on the hanger. When I'm about to store the pants, I see a black box that catches my attention. I crouched down and pulled out the box. No, I can't open it, but maybe just a peek won't hurt. I pull the box further when I'm about to open the box.
Ryan: What are you doing? You shouldn't be messing with that box.
Larissa: Mr. Ryan, I'm sorry.
Ryan: That's not part of your job.
Larissa: I'm sorry, sir.
Ryan: I won't forgive you; you shouldn't be touching my personal belongings.
Larissa: Yes, sir.
Ryan: Now get out of my room.
Larissa: Yes, sir.
I got caught. How embarrassing. I was so focused on finding out what was in the box that I didn't hear him coming, but now I'm even more curious to find out what's so important in there that he doesn't want me to touch it, but if he catches me messing with his things again, he'll probably fire me, and I really need this job.
I go to the veranda and put the clothes in the machine. I'm very embarrassed about what just happened. What a mistake.
Ryan: Larissa.
Larissa: Yes, Mr. Collins.
Ryan: If I catch you messing with my box or find out you did, I'll fire you, got it?
Larissa: Yes, Mr. Collins, it won't happen again.
Ryan: Great.
He leaves me alone, and I start to cry. I've never been treated this way. I take several deep breaths and try to stop crying. I can't believe I'm crying over this, but I can't stop.
I hear footsteps. I turn towards the washing machine, and I quickly wipe my tears.
Ryan: Wash this shirt, I need it later.
Larissa: Just leave it there.
Ryan: Where?
Larissa: Anywhere.
Ryan: I need it today, don't forget.
Larissa: I won't forget.
Ryan: Stop crying, it's not possible that you can't handle a scolding. You're not a child anymore.
I don't respond to him, but how I wish I could curse.
Oh, how I hate you. I feel like hitting you and saying everything I think about you, you annoying person.
I shoot him a dirty look and go to the clothesline to grab the dried clothes. He just stands there watching me. I really need this job. I need to learn to control my feelings of anger and pretend he's not here. I can't be intimidated by his arrogance.
Mr. Collins went to the police station, and the rest of my day was quite peaceful, without his intimidating presence. I tidied up the whole house, left the shirt he needed on the bed, and ironed it.
I locked up the house and went to the bus stop. A woman strikes up a conversation with me.
Woman: Hi, do you work for Ryan Collins?
Larissa: Yes.
Woman: Poor you.
Larissa: What?
Woman: He doesn't keep employees there.
Larissa: Why?
Woman: He's very rude, and yells at the staff, a real monster. According to rumors.
Larissa: Oh.
Woman: Several women have left there crying.
Larissa: I realized he's like that. But maybe if I do things right, he won't need to yell.
Woman: I believe in a week you might change your mind.
Larissa: I hope not. I really need this job.
Woman: Then I wish you good luck.
Larissa: Thank you.
He hasn't yelled yet, and I hope he doesn't. I need to get through this; I really need this job. I can't just leave after a week. I need to do everything exactly the way he likes it, to improve. So he won't fire me.
The bus arrives, and I get on. After almost an hour, I got off at the stop near the preschool, picked up Henrique, and went home.
I got home, put Henrique on the floor, grabbed my phone, and made a video call with Manu. She answers.
Manu: Hi, godmother's chubby, blow a kiss, sing for godmother.
Larissa: Hi, Manu.
Manu: Hi, Lari, where's godmother's chubby?
Henrique goofs around for Manu. He blows kisses, dances, and says things we can't understand. After a few minutes, Henrique goes to play and no longer pays attention to Manu.
Manu: Hi, Lari.
Larissa: Hi, Manu.
Manu: I've got some great news for you.
Larissa: Really?? Do tell.
Manu: I'm coming back to Brazil in 3 months.
Larissa: Really?
Manu: Yes, I'm finishing the exchange program.
Larissa: I can't wait for you to come back.
Manu: I'm going to spend a whole month stuck to my little chubby.
Larissa: I'd love to see that.
Manu: Let's find some boys.
Larissa: I'm working a lot. I don't have time for that.
Manu: Well, you better make time. And how's Henrique doing at school?
Larissa: He's enjoying it, made some friends, the teachers like him.
Manu: It's impossible not to like him.
Larissa: Exactly.
Manu: You still haven't found a boyfriend, Lari?
Larissa: No, you know I'm scared, just thinking about someone touching me gives me chills.
Manu: But when you find someone you like, the touch will be completely different and you'll really want that person to touch you.
Larissa: Maybe one day, but for now, I don't want it at all, I don't even want to think about these things.
Manu: You both need this, Lari, you and Henrique.
Larissa: Not for now.
Manu: Lari, I know you don't like talking about this stuff.
Larissa: Yeah, I really don't.
Manu: But we have to talk about it anyway. When I come back I want to introduce you to someone.
Larissa: Manu, I don't want to meet anyone.
Manu: The one I want to introduce you to is my cousin.
Larissa: Cousin or not, I don't want to. In the end, they always want what I can't even imagine doing.
Manu: I'll still take a while to come back. Maybe by then, you'll have changed your mind.
Larissa: I think by then, my thoughts will still be the same.
Manu: Alright, there's no talking to you, I'm hanging up now, bye.
Larissa: Bye.
- Writer
