Destiny

The Past Comes Back

Jordan:

Worker: Son? Son? Are you okay? You can’t sleep here

I look up suddenly as I hear a man calling me and shaking my hand. I raise my head up and look around trying to remember what had happen. I must of fell asleep, I thought to myself as I grabbed my face with my hands and let out a deep sigh.

Worker: Son are you okay? Do you want me to call an ambulance?

Jordan: No, no I’m okay sorry sir

I respond to the worker as I look up to see his face full of concern. I gave him a little smile as I got up from the floor and bend down to grab my car keys. As I struggle a little to walk away to my car without looking back. I open the door of my car and cant help but hide my face in the steering wheel and close my eyes. Right at that instant I remembered flashbacks of what had happen, but most of all the things I had told my mother. I didn’t cry when she passed away and I felt how much that was killing me to hold inside. My mother was the only person I had in my life and now I understood what It meant to be completely alone. I look up at the window and saw the worker pass by sweeping the floor of the church. I felt thankful that he kept it clean there for her. I got down of my car and walk right pass him to see my mothers glass window with her picture and her urn. I sigh a little bit knowing that she must be a little upset at me for screaming at her yesterday but that doesn’t stop me. I slide the glass window open and grab her photo and kiss her forehead as I whisper

Jordan: I’m sorry

And give her a little smile as I pull away and place her picture back and close the little glass window again. As I turn around, I see the worker there staring at me smiling.

Worker: I guess you’re her son. You look just like her.

He tells me as he looks at me so fondly and happy.

Jordan: Yes, she’s my mom, but I’m glad you say I look just like her.

I answer him while giving him a smile and look back to see my mother. Ever since I was little, I hated my self for getting many similar physical characteristics as my biological dad. I had his black hair, nose, sculpted chin, but I was happy to have my mother’s big blue eyes at least.

Worker: Well you don’t look anything like your dad. I always see him come here to see your mother. He comes almost every day. I feel bad for him, I know what it feels like when you lose your wife, even till this day I cant help but go visit my wife everyday despite it being over 20 years of her death.

I couldn’t help but look down at the ground when the worker told me those words. I knew who he was talking about without even having to describe him. The old man, I thought to myself as I imagined him looking at my mothers picture. I look up at the man once more and smile at him again

Jordan: Yeah, my dad. He misses her a lot, maybe even more than I miss her

I lie to him, yet a lie that I wish could be true in a way. I nod at him to say goodbye and leave to my car. I wondered just how much he loved her. I wondered if the old man loved my mother as much as she loved my biological dad. Things would have been so different if they ended up together, I thought to myself.

Jordan: I guess I will never understand you mom. I guess I will never understand how you could love someone that much.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

As I took my phone out of my pocket, I saw that it was my best friend Michael.

Michael had been my best friend ever since I was in kindergarten. I was really close to him the same way that his mother treated me like I was her own son. Michael was an only child like me and lived down the street from my old house. My mom was always at work and well my biological dad was never around, so I always found myself hanging out with him. He was like my brother, but he also knew the secret of my scar and my mother. He was the person I trusted the most in my life and the person I owed so much to.

Michael: Hey, when were you planning to call? If I don’t call you first, you wouldn’t have talked to me anymore right nigga!

I loved the guy, but man he was annoying, I swear.

Jordan: Quit your bitching. Be thankful I even picked up your phone call.

Michael: Yeah, yeah, hey where are you? are you close to the college?

Jordan: Nah but why? Wassup what happened?

Michael: Well you owe me a little right?

I heard him smirk a little through the phone. After being friends with Michael for almost all of my life, I ended up learning so many things from him. First, we were different, really different. Michael was the most outgoing, cheerful guy you could ever meet. He was nice and was really smooth with the girls, but above all he was the dumb one from us. Second, whenever he told you “you owe me a little” it meant that he needed a favor and that no one else was willing to help him so his last resort was me; and oh, I was his last resort for a reason. Click. I threw my phone to the passenger seat as I hanged up on his call.

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

I kept on driving trying to ignore his calls.

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

Ring! Right! Ring! Ring!

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

Ring! Right! Ring! Ring!

I felt my head almost ready to explode because of my irritation. I grabbed my phone quick knowing that this guy wasn’t going to give up any time soon.

Jordan: What! What is it!

Michael: You thought you could ignore me again that easily. No, you cant.

He screamed through the phone letting out the really loud laugh he had.

Michael: Well you know the old truck my dad had? I used it to drive to class but now It won’t start so I’m kind of stuck here In the school parking lot. So, can you come here with cables and help me start it?

Jordan: Fine wait for me there.

I replied hanging up in a instant. The kid was lucky he was my friend, or I would have punched him so many times before for insisting that I owe him favors when he hasn’t even done nothing for me. Around 30 minutes later I pulled up to the college parking lot driving really slow through each section until I found him. He was sitting down with the trunk of the truck open since the air didn’t work. He waved at me and smiled all happy as he saw me pull up to his truck.

Michael: Finally! You took so long

He complained as I rolled down my window to do our handshake. Even though he was annoying I was happy to see him. It had been 4 days since I last saw him when he came to my old house and helped me pack to move in. I was used to being with him everyday so going for 4 days without hanging out with him felt weird.

Jordan: My bad traffic was tight

I responded opening my car to get down and finally hug him. He looked at me confused

Michael: Traffic? your new house is like 10 minutes away though. Where were you?

I couldn’t hide anything from Michael. The same way that he knew when I was lying; so, in the end lying to him was something I just didn’t waist on doing; since he was going to be able to figure out the truth from me anyway.

Jordan: I went to see her

He looked at me with sadness as he heard what I said. I didn’t have to explain to him who I was talking about, he knew really well who I meant. Michael knew my mother the same way he knew my biological father and my old man. He knew everything even though I wanted to hide everything from everyone

Michael: Next time don’t go see her without me alright

He smiled at me putting his hand on my shoulder. He cared for me as much as I cared for him. He loved me as his brother to and took care of me all the time because of it. I felt thankful and happy that he didn’t leave my life even though my mother did. I had felt alone ever since my mother had passed away, but Michael was always there to remind me I wasn’t and for that I felt thankful.

Jordan: Alright, alright don’t get all sentimental with me alright. Let’s go I want to show you the new place. Plus, you can even go to the store with me to get furniture. I don’t know for s**t about decorating!

I laugh trying to ease his mind. Michael knew how f****d up my mentality was because of my mom and that always made him worry a lot.

Michael: I got you nigga, I got you

He laughed smiling all dumb like always again.

Michael: Hey do me another favor though for taking so long

He added.

Jordan: Nah, no quit man you’re always asking for favors, what do you want now!

I told him as I glared at him as hard as I could.

Michael: Dude, come on, I’m hungry buy me some subway

He begged me giving me sad eyes like he always did when he wanted something. He pulled out a 20-dollar bill from his pocket and put it In my hand signaling me with his head to go to the school. I felt annoyed but I wont lie I was really hungry too.

Jordan: Okay I’m going, but I’m buying myself something too, its on you

I exclaimed as I put the money inside my pocket.

Michael: Hey I’m cool with it. I want extra cheese on mine with chips. Hurry up I will connect the cables meanwhile

I nodded okay and started walking away inside the subway of the college.

Buzz! Buzz!

I felt my phone vibrate and saw that the old man had texted me.

Old man/ Dr. Perez: How are you?

I read his message and was going to put my phone in my pocket until I felt my phone vibrate again.

Buzz! Buzz!

Old man/ Dr. Perez: Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to go see your mother?

What the… How did he know? I thought to myself as I looked down at the message. What’s it to him anyway If I go see her or not. As I grasped all the thoughts that ran through my mind, I started typing, suddenly a full force hit my chest almost knocking me down to the floor. As I looked up to see what It was, I saw a girl on the ground shaking and covering her face breathing heavily as she was crying.

Jordan: Hey are you alright? My bad I didn’t see you.

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Melissa

Today was the second day of school and can I be honest to tell you that I was dying already. Meeting new people wasn’t really my forte and It was something that was so obvious. I ran to the bathroom.

Melissa: 10 minutes Melissa. You got 10 minutes so get it together.

As I kept on looking at myself in the restroom mirror whispering to myself, I hear the bathroom door open. I grab my phone that I put in the sink and rush to the restroom stall, but just before I walked inside, I hear a faint laugh and a voice that I wished I had never heard again.

Alexis: Ohhhh it is you. Look at you, you changed so much piggy.

I felt my body and breathing stop at that instant as I heard her talk. I didn’t even have to look up to see her face I knew her fairly to well. I felt my body start to shake and my eyes fill with tears, I was scared of her and she knew that really well. I felt my mind go blank, I couldn’t move as I started getting so many flashbacks of the past I wanted to forget. I didn’t want her to come back, I didn’t want to see her, none of them, but I guess that saying was true after all, I could try to run away from my past, but I was never going to escape it.

Alexis: You changed so much piggy, I could barely recognize you.

She said laughing and giving me that evil smile she always did before. I had met her before in middle school. She was one of the most beautiful girls there, but just like the rest she didn’t like the ugly girl like me. She bullied me but most of all was one of the reasons why I almost committed suicide.

Alexis: How did you do it huh piggy? Surgery? Did you get in a diet? What did you think piggy that no one was going to be able to recognize you? is that it?

Her laugh grew louder and louder each time drumming in my ears. Run, run I felt my mind telling me. My anxiety started coming in so fast that I couldn’t even control it. My body started feeling numb. I was going to faint, I knew it I was going to faint if I didn’t get away from her. At that instant I felt her coming near me. Her smile was still there and her footsteps where so loud that they made constant chills run down my spine. My tears started flooding out my eyes as I started biting my lips to not make any sounds. She reached her hand out to pull my hair and pushed my head down as hard as she could to make me fall in my knees. She twirled my long hair in all her hand and raised my face up to meet hers.

Alexis: You could change as much as you want piggy, but the ugly fat b***h will always be the same ugly fat b***h. I wonder though what people will think when they find out that you don’t look how you looked like you did before? But I’m sure that just like before no one will ever like you, just like before you will always be alone.

She laughed as she let go of my hair and push my head down to the floor and walked away. I started crying uncontrollably and couldn’t stand up. My body was shaking so hard and I couldn’t breathe. I was scared I was really scared. I lifted myself up grabbing the wall from the stall pulling myself up, no forcing my self to get up. I had to get away from there I had to. I grabbed my phone that had fallen from the floor and started to walk to get out the restroom covering my mouth and lowering my head so no one could see me. I ran through the hall feeling everybody’s gaze on me with confusion. I remembered how people used to laugh at me calling me names and throwing me stuff.

Melissa: Please, please don’t look at me please stop staring

I whispered to myself as I felt the tears fall from my eyes. Bammm, suddenly I found myself In the floor as I crashed with someone.

Jordan: Hey are you alright? My bad, I didn’t see you.

I couldn’t look at him, I felt my body getting more and more dizzy each second. My vision was so blurry that I couldn’t even feel the ground right anymore. I was going to collapse. I had to get away I told myself. I tried getting up, but found my self falling to the ground, as I felt his hand grab my arm helping me not to fall and stand up.

Jordan: Hey you okay? What’s wrong? Can you hear me?

I heard him trying to help, but at that time I didn’t want his help I wanted to get away. I pulled my arm away from his covering my face so he wouldn’t see me. Everything was so blurrish that I couldn’t even see my hands or his clothes right. All I saw was a bright golden color hanging from his chest. I looked down again and started to run away. I had to get to my car, I had to get away, I kept on telling myself. At that moment I felt him grab my arm as hard as he could again, pulling me up to his chest not letting me run away.

Jordan: Quit trying to run away!

I felt his scream echo in my body. My tears were flowing so hard that I didn’t want him to look at me. I didn’t cry in front of people, but he was the second person that had seen me that way. Breaking down pathetically without being able to stop. I was pathetic and that day I had realized that again. I felt his intense gaze looking at my eyes with so much confusion, but I also felt his surprise expression he made when he first saw my face. He let his grip in his arm loosen at that instant. I remembered Alexis at that moment “No one will ever like you”. She knew my past and knew my biggest fear. I was scared that no one was going to like me again. I didn’t want to be alone like before, I was scared that no one was going to like me again, because I was ugly. I wanted, I wanted to die.

Melissa: Please, Please let me go please

I whispered to him trying to make my words sound clear through my crying. At that instant he opened his hand letting me go and I started to run away again to my car. Hold. Hold it. Don’t faint! I started screaming at myself running to the car barely making it. I closed the door really quick and laid my head in the door finally letting my cries out without holding them in anymore. It had been so long since I felt this fear, a fear that I didn’t want to feel anymore.

Jordan

Jordan: Hey are you alright? My bad I didn’t see you.

I told her as I stared at her while she was in the ground. She was crying and her body was shaking really bad. I thought I had hurt her, but she wouldn’t look at me or respond. At that moment she tried getting up, but her body was shaking so bad that her legs were so weak to even do that. As she was going to fall to the ground again, I instinctively bend down and grabbed her hand to stop her from falling. Her skin felt so soft and all I could feel was her trembling. She was shaking so bad like if she had seen something so scary.

Jordan: Hey you okay? What’s wrong? Can you hear me?

I didn’t know who she was the same way I didn’t know how to help her. I wanted to protect her and help her but all she did was try to run away from me like I was the one trying to hurt her. As I tried lifting her up from her feet, she pulled her arm away from mine stumbling to stand straight. When I lifted my head to see her face, she covered it not letting me see her and tried to run away. That’s it. She was making me mad, what’s her dam problem! I thought to myself grabbing her hand and pulling her arm as hard as I could towards me not letting her run away. Making her face bump into my chest again

Jordan: Quit trying to run away!

I screamed at her making her look up at me instantly. When her eyes met mine, I couldn’t help but to keep on staring at her. She was, she was beautiful. She had pale skin, but her face was flushed with pink and she had big brown eyes. Her hair was long and brown with some red hairs. You could tell she wasn’t wearing makeup, but she didn’t need it. Her skin looked so bright and soft the same way her lips looked soft and plump. I felt my heart stop at that moment when I saw her, she looked beautiful, but her eyes broke my heart. Her eyes were filled with tears and so much sadness. As I kept on looking at her, I couldn’t help but remember my own pain. I saw myself in her eyes and that’s what hurt me the most, above all.

Melissa: Please, Please let me go please

I heard her whisper as I got out the daze, I was in. She was begging me to let her go with her eyes, she was desperately begging me. I let my grip loose and pulled my hand down. She turned around and started running away, grabbing her face again trying not to bump into anybody once more. I didn’t move, I was in shock to have seen her like that. I moved my eyes staring at her run further and further to the parking lot until I couldn’t see her anymore.

Alexis: I told you it was her, you could barely recognize her

I heard a girl whisper to another girl as they were laughing between each other out loud. I followed their gaze to what they were staring and saw them looking at the girl. I didn’t know her the same way I didn’t know what happen, but I wasn’t stupid and could see that they knew what happened with her. I walked towards them with anger filling in my chest. Some f****d up s**t must of happen for that girl to be crying like that and I was curious to know what it was. As I came closer to them, they looked up and down at me smiling and blushing instantly

Alexis: Hey fine ass, I’m guessing you want my n..

Jordan: Who’s the girl?

I asked her nodding up towards the parking lot cutting her off quick. She was good looking, you know nice body nice face. She was the type of girls I was used to. I never had to flirt with a girl first or try to pursue them. Pretty girls like her came easily to me, the same way that girls like her were the reason I thought that all girls were the same.

Alexis: What girl? Ohhh you mean the girl that bumped into you? She’s piggy.

She laughed instantly with her friend.

Jordan: Piggy? I’m guessing you came up with that stupid name for her huh?

I said with my voice filled with anger. Her friend and her freeze at my tone and stopped laughing as quick as I finished my question. I didn’t understand why they called her that. The girl was pretty for me, even prettier than this female.

Alexis: You don’t know, her that’s why you don’t understand her nickname. That girl you just saw didn’t look like that before, she was really fat and ugly. She was just the toy for everyone to use when they were bored. That’s all she was good for, just a laugh the laughi…

I grabbed her arm and pulled her close to me where she could meet my eye level not letting her finish her sentence again.

Jordan: Why was she crying!

I screamed at her making her body shake from fear.

Jordan: Answer!

I screamed at her again, but this time even louder making a lot of people turn to us looking.

Alexis: I just, I just told her the truth sh-she was always going to be that fat ugly girl no matter- no matter how much she tried to change

I let my anger show not holding it in no more. I put more force in my hand not caring If I was going to bruise this girl or not.

Jordan: Don’t get close to her ever again. If you do, I will make you suffer the same way you made her suffer today!

I threw her arm away, letting her go, making her fall to the ground. I looked at her one last time with so much anger and walked away going back to Michael and my car.

Michael: Hey! Hey! Where’s the subway

Jordan: Shut up and let’s go!

I screamed at him disconnecting the cables hearing his truck work finally. I threw the cables inside my trunk and got inside my car signaling him to follow behind me. As I drove away, I looked around to see if there was no sign of the girl. I wonder if I will ever see her again, I thought to myself as I drove out of the campus heading back to my house with Michael in his truck behind me. For the first time in months, I found myself not thinking of my mother and now thinking about the girl who would become the first love of my life.