TREINTA Y SEIS
2446 Words
A month since Alyxxandrya’s birth flew by in the blink of an eye. There’s no denying the resemblance. Carma and I had our cheeks swabbed before she gave birth. Our daughters was taken once the nurses were done with her. I didn't need a test to tell me what I could see with my own eyes.
Harmoney and Mr. Driver worked out a schedule for visitation. Frankly, I’m surprised Carma agreed. It probably had something to do with the ten grand Harmoney volunteered for child support until our return to court. Love at first sight is hogwash. When Alyxxandrya was placed in my arms, I felt instant love and a forever attachment. Like any father, I’d lay down my life for anything she asked or wanted.
The first visit was the first time I’d been back to my house since Carma revealed the pregnancy. My own house, and I had to ring the doorbell and wait to be let in. The house wasn’t trashed, but it wasn’t clean either. Not by my standards. I can’t lie. The visits were the best thing I could ask for. At the end, Carma begged me to return so we could be a family. For the first time, her words rang true. She had no father. Raising Alyxxandrya in a broken home isn’t the way I pictured how my kids would grow up. I don’t love Carma the way I thought I did. My unhappiness would surely spill over and taint my little girl. I never want that to happen.
I never told anyone this, but the entire time I held Carma's hand during the delivery, I imagined she was Harmoney. I didn’t think of our loss. It was anticipation for the arrival of our bundle of joy. When it was over, reality slapped me in the face. Go ahead. It’s all right. You can call me an ahole.
When it comes to Harmoney, I never know which way is up. That’s what she does to me. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I do tend to overreact. When I do, Harmoney takes my words at face value and leaves me in the dust. Any other female would fight, call a trillion times, show up at my door, or even flatten my tires. It was a leap of faith on my part with Harmoney at the hospital. Every night since, I dreamt of our kiss as the sun rose, shining its approving rays on the reunion. What happened after? It was just icing on my candle and her insides. All rationality goes out the window when we make love. Yep, she let me spread my seed. Then she went to the drugstore for Plan B.
We haven’t had s*x since that night. Though we have talked at length about everything under the sun, except our relationship. At work, nothing but professionalism. Like earlier this morning. She unexpectedly dropped by. I offered her a seat, but she refused. Looking through my bank records, she claimed to have found questionable purchases, transfers, and other suspicious transactions. Most of them came from an account I stupidly set up for Carma the second she moved into my house. Harmoney said she had to go away for a few days, and I thought it would be a mini-vacation for us. Maisie’s case is the excuse she gave to deny my request to accompany her. Out of concern, not control, I asked where she was running off to.
“Vegas. Don't worry, I won't come back married.” She got unfunny jokes.
“Not funny. I'll see you when you get back.” Harmoney blew me a kiss and left.
Telling her I loved her during intercourse was risky. I’m a risk-taker and grateful for the opportunity to tell her. It didn't backfire or blow up in my face. I thanked God for that. I’d never told a woman I loved them. Not even Carma. I told everyone I loved her but found ways around saying the exact words to her face.
Harmoney was gone by the day's end. Whatever she found forced her to hop on a plane and zoom back to the other side of the country. I lay in bed hoping my life would fall into place. I was ready to accept its offer. Willing to.... that’s another story. The Sandman sprinkled his sleeping dust over me and, for the first time in a long time, I drifted off fully content with myself.
THE DREAM......
Another long workday came to an end. Looking out my tiny office window, the sun had already set. It is much later than I thought. Going for that drink with friends isn't happening. My stomach screeched for sustenance as I pulled a protein bar from my desk. I knew I needed more and settled on grabbing a burger before heading home. At my car, I noticed another at the other end of the lot. My boss is still here. Skedaddling inside, I went to her office. I knocked and received no response.
Opening the door, I called out, “Ms. Savage?”
“Alixx,” her labored breathy response shocked me. I didn’t hesitate to jump into action, only to be stopped in my tracks when my sweaty boss popped up after setting the weight bar down.
“I'm sorry. I thought you were in trouble.”
“I have been since the day your fcking brother happened to me.”
“You are free from him now.”
Travis snatched Carma up after she turned me down. The woman sought perfection. A diamond in the ruff I am. It took five years of marriage before realizing the diamond she loved was a useless piece of glass. I listened as she vented about my cheating brother.
“Hey, so why is it you never called me by my first name?”
“It's,”
“Disrespectful. So, you keep saying. I can’t believe your pisshead of a brother dragged out the divorce for so long.” This is the longest conversation we ever had.
“He didn’t know you hired a P.I. and had enough evidence of his cheating to take him to the cleaners.”
“I have a bigger office than he does. I get more clients than he does. I had my own money before him and he’s mad because your father refused to let him take a dime of mine.”
“I know.”
“I am beginning to think you don't like me.” On the contrary, Ms. Savage. I wonder why she didn’t ask the court to restore her maiden name.
“I don't want to get caught up in your s*xiness, only for you to drop me like a bad habit.”
“You think I'm s*xy?”
“You're joking, right? Look at you.” She turned and inspected herself in the four floor-to-ceiling mirrors. For an unknown reason, she didn’t approve. If her career as a lawyer hadn’t panned out, she could’ve made it as a supermodel. She still can.
Travis always bragged about the look Carma would get when she was about to do something naughty. Up until now, I’d never seen it. Strutting my way, she stopped in front of me. The stilettos she wore raised her height six inches, making her taller than me by three. If you wonder who wears heels when they work out, she does and always has.
“Do you know I've had men in my office? None of them were clients and none worked here. Travis wasn’t adventurous enough to bend me over my desk and fck me senseless.” I thought we were going to kiss. I wanted to kiss her again.
For a woman who doesn’t care what people think, why did she tell me that? Gossip floats around the office fast. Many of the younger associates claimed to have had relations with her. I guess it is her way of telling me their claims were nothing more than baseless fantasies.
“Alixx, do you find me attractive?”
“Yes. But I’m sure every heteros*xual male does.”
“If I ask you something, do you promise not to tell Travis or even consider his feelings?”
“That depends.”
“Travis, tricked me into falling in love with him.” Where is she taking this? “Do I make you nervous, Alixx?”
“A little bit.” Her aroma is intoxicating.
She leaned closer. My shyness robbed me of opportunities before. Not this time. I gripped the back of her neck and left hip, pulling her sweaty body tightly against mine. I looked into her eyes and saw the devastation Travis left behind. I wanted to be the mender of her broken heart. A simple kiss to start should suffice. I know what you’re thinking. It’s a mistake. She’s Travis’s sloppy seconds. If Travis saw us, we’d be throwing hands. Before I knew it, she was nude and on all fours. I tried to walk away at that point, but my c*ck said, “the fck we are”. Expletives fell from her lips left and right as I fcked her. I took the amoral road for once and never thought being bad could feel so good. My fantasies are no longer baseless.
I jumped the fck out of bed from the fcked up dream. My head pounded as if someone were playing the bongos. Nausea sent me running for the bathroom to hug the porcelain guard. I leaned against the cool wall and dropped my hand on my crotch. The retching caused me to piss myself. Peeling off my bottoms revealed I had liquidated my assets. What the actual fck? I had a wet dream. ABOUT FCKING CARMA. LITERALLY. Ouch. Sixteen-year-old me had them every night. I don’t feel pent-up. I have no explanation whatsoever. I managed to choke down a few aspirin for the headache.
I could not stop thinking about the dream. The headache went away, but my head still hurt. Harmoney didn’t make a guest appearance. For some reason, I don’t think she existed. Understanding dreams is tricky. The more I dwelled, the more I wanted to forget. Feeling better, I decided to go for a run.
When Harmoney left, she opted to take an Uber to the airport. From the lobby, I could have sworn I saw a figure lurking around her car. Her windows had been repaired after reporting the vandalism. Three bucks in quarters was the only thing missing because she never kept anything of importance in her car. While she had an idea who the culprit might be, she didn't want to accuse without proof. I started jogging in the direction of her car and found nothing. My eyes could be playing tricks on me because of the headache.
Clearing my head took longer than expected. Only a few blocks from my parents' place, I stopped to visit. Surprisingly, the entire family was there. Without me. Hmm.
“Alixx, why did Miss Sanchez suddenly take off to Vegas?” Travis used an accusing tone. I’m positive she informed Dad before leaving.
“I'm not sure. She murmured something about dates and purchases.”
“Why didn't you go with her?”
“I didn't know she needed someone to hold her hand. Plus, I’m working on an important case. What is your problem?”
“That woman is hiding something. I can feel it.” Ya, she is. He will never find out what.
“Bro, I agree with Travis. Somethin' 'bout her ain't right.”
“You’re joking. Tell me, you’re joking. The two of you hit on her.” Travis is fcked up beyond belief. He has a wife and newborn at home.
“That's beside the point, Alixx.”
“Shut the fck up. Travis, you’re married. I guess your d*cks didn’t get the memo, she doesn't like men, you imbeciles.”
“She ain't no lesbo.”
Dad is always in the right place at the right time. “Yes, she is.” How did he know? “Travis, did you forget I hired Miss Sanchez? Mind your fcking business. She answers to me. No one else. Goddammit, leave her be.”
“You let Alixx play with her.” Richie has always been the whine bag of the family.
“HE'S NOT TRYING TO FCK HER.” Harmoney never mentioned their antics.
“Sweetheart, you need to relax.”
He never told us why his panties were in a bunch. Cases were on the rise. The challenges coming with them were manageable. Other high-profile cases were closer than before to a remedy. I stayed through the unusually quiet dinner and then Allie drove me home.
I had reached my door when I heard Harmoney’s door close. Of course, I assumed she had returned and came out to surprise me. The female acted like her presence on the top floor was no biggie. I knew the face, not the person.
“Sorry. Did I scare you?”
“No. I thought you were my neighbor. She often gets my mail in her box and brings it over when I come home. Alixx Savage, nice to meet you.”
“You are married to Carma Savage, yes? Harmoney's told me how difficult your case has been.” Harmoney doesn’t break confidences.
“As long as my private details are safe. She can discuss how difficult it is with whomever she likes.”
“She would never break a person's trust. Oh, my name is Arianna. I'm Harmoney's girlfriend.”
I acted stunned by the revelation. “I didn't know she was gay.”
“Really? I knew the second I told that little girl to ram a carriage into her.” She put her hand to the side of her mouth and whispered, “Paid her five bucks to do it.”
“Her personal life is none of my business. I have enough baggage, as you can imagine. It was nice meeting you.”
“Ya. You too.”
Harmoney mentioned she felt as if someone were watching her. It’s Boston, someone at some time at some point is always watching. I feel like an ahole for brushing it off. She thought Arianna was responsible for the damage to her car at the hospital. Now I think Arianna has been stalking her since their breakup. The top floor requires a keycard. How did she bypass that security feature? Did Harmoney give her a set of keys? Even if she had, I was never asked to have a second keycard made.
- Writer
