NIKO.
Guilt had a way of sitting heavy in the chest, like an unwelcome weight that refused to be shaken off. I felt it the moment I opened my eyes that morning, before memory even fully returned. Then it all came rushing back: Alex in my bed, the confusion, the line I had crossed without meaning to. The shame followed swiftly, sharp and unforgiving.
I reminded myself of the truth I kept trying to bury: I was supposed to be mourning. Christmas had never stopped being a wound for me; I had just learned to cover it better over the years. What I had been doing with Alex, pushing boundaries, provoking reactions, was selfish. It was unfair to her. Worse, it felt like a betrayal to Eliana, even if logic told me she was gone and nothing I did could change that.
So I decided to stop, not gradual
