Too Many Secrets

SEVENTEEN

By the time Brittany made it to the car, Kurt had caught up. He grabbed her arm, stopping her, and then swung her around to face him. They weren't anywhere near a street lamp, so it was harder to read his expression, especially his eyes.

"Britt," he said, taking deep breaths, "you need to stop this fascination with the perp. Austin Reeder isn't as innocent as you'd like to believe."

She tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let go. Instead, he pulled her closer. "Kurt, I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Britt, sweetheart," he whispered as he caressed her cheek tenderly, "you know I'm right. You know you're not supposed to be feeling this way toward a suspect. If Martinez found out—"

"Don't you dare tell him," she clipped. "And, really...it's not that I'm having feelings for Austin," she lied, "it's just that I feel he's innocent."

"You are having feelings for him. Why else do you think I'd get jealous?" Kurt's voice was softer. "I don't blame you. He's a good looking man, he's a charmer, and he's rich. What's not to like about him...except that he might be a killer."

Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to shed them. Why was Kurt doing this to her? When she was with Austin, her gut—or heart—told her that he wasn't a killer. But when she was with Kurt—the man she'd known longer and trusted with every fiber in her soul—why did doubt sneak in and make her question what her heart believed?

"You just don't understand," she whispered, afraid if she spoke louder, her voice would crack with emotion.

"I understand all too well, sweetheart. I understand my partner—the woman I've come to love—is being pulled in by a con artist. And I understand it's my duty to protect her all I can by doing whatever is necessary to see the truth."

She fought back the tears, but one slipped through the dam, regardless of how hard she tried not to cry. Her lips trembled, and she didn't dare speak for fear of totally breaking down in front of him.

With the pad of his thumb, he wiped the tear sliding down her cheek. "Let's get in the car."

She nodded. He opened the door for her and helped her inside, then walked around and climbed in the driver's side. He didn't start the car. Instead, he gathered her back into his arms and laid her head against his chest. The position was more awkward now than when they were standing outside, but that's because of these uncomfortable bucket seats and the console between them.

Did he really love her as he'd said? Or did he say that as a way to try to convince her to turn off her feelings for Austin? She really didn't know him that well, and yet, the times they were together, she felt as though they belonged with one another. She was happy with Austin. She was...at peace for some reason.

Silence stretched between them for the first few minutes, and all she could hear was the uneven beat of her heart—and his—and his ragged breaths. Her breathing didn't seem to be as irregular. He kissed the top of her head, and she smiled. Her heart softened toward him, once again.

"Sweetheart? Are you going to say anything about what I just told you?"

Inwardly, Brittany cringed. It was probably too soon to talk about the L word with Kurt. She loved him, yes, but did she love him like that? At one time she'd wanted to, but he was her partner. He was still her partner.

He cupped her chin and lifted her head until she met his eyes. Shadows were everywhere inside the car, but from the lights on the street, she could see the outline of his face. He was gorgeous. She'd always thought so. She probably always would.

"You know," he said in a deep voice, "I don't have beer breath this time."

She chuckled, even though she didn't want to. She couldn't help it. He had always known how to make her smile or laugh when she was down...just as she knew how to lift his spirits, too.

"No, you don't have beer breath. You have peppermint breath."

"Isn't that better than beer?"

"Tons better."

"So..." He shrugged. "Should we try it again?"

Brittany didn't need to ask what he meant. The direction of his gaze was on her mouth. Her heartbeat increased. She couldn't count how many times she had wanted to kiss him, but she knew it would always be in her dreams. And yet, if she kissed Kurt now, would she be betraying Austin? She really did like him, too.

Oh, decisions, decisions...

* * * *

When he leaned closer, she didn't stop him. She closed her eyes as his lips caressed hers. At first, he hesitated, but when she remained still, he continued. Relaxing into his arms, she kissed him back with the same tenderness he showed to her.

The kiss was nice, and exciting, keeping her heart speeding faster by the second. This was something she'd wanted to do ever since she saw him. And yet, here they were, making out in a parked car, but the man on her mind was Austin. Why couldn't she see Kurt's face in her thoughts?

Slowly, but surely, the confusion in her head grew, making her head throb. She needed to end this with Kurt. At least until she could straighten out her thoughts.

She broke the kiss and pulled back. He continued to stare into her eyes as he stroked her face.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes. I...I just need more time to think about everything."

He nodded and positioned himself behind the steering wheel. He started the car and drove it out of the parking lot. For the first few minutes they were silent, but then he cleared his throat.

"I'm not going to Isabelle's Escort Service now. It's probably too late, anyway. We'll go tomorrow."

"All right."

"Nine o'clock in the morning?"

She nodded. "I'll meet you at the station."

As silence came between them once again, she watched the road and tried to get her thoughts in order. Because her feelings were conflicting with her thoughts, she wanted to scream in frustration. Why did she get this way around Kurt? And why now did he choose this time in her life to confess his love? If only he'd done that before she'd met Austin.

Now what was she going to do? For being a woman who was always in control, she felt as if she was on a spinning ride at the amusement park that had kicked into overdrive. There was only one thing she could do—go and see Austin tonight and finish telling him what she'd started at the park.